Unearthly Funniest Michelle Jokes to Tickle Your Sides
What is Michelle Obama's favorite vegetable?
Baraccoli
Guy goes to a fancy dress party wearing dark-green Lycra and carrying a n**... woman on his back...
...
"What are you two supposed to be?" asks someone.
"Oh," he replies. "I'm a tortoise, and this is Michelle."
Michelle
On Halloween, a man shows up to his friend's costume party in the n**... carrying a woman on his back. His friend answers the door and shockingly asks, "what are you supposed to be?!"
The man says, "I'm a snail."
With an obvious look of disdain on his face, his friend asks, "well, who is she?"
The man answers, "Michelle."
Barack Obama walks into a Halloween Party with the First Lady on his shoulders...
...the doorman says, "Excuse me Mr. President, but this is a Halloween party. Why aren't you dressed up?" Obama says, "I am dressed up! I'm a snail. I got Michelle on my back."
What did Barack Obama say when he dropped his shell at the beach?
Oh no Michelle !
What is Michelle Obama's favorite dish to cook?
Baracolli
Do you know what the President said to Michelle when he proposed?
I don't wanna be Obama self.
What did the pirate name his pet clam?
Michelle
Mark and his friend Michelle
go to a costume party. When they show up Michelle is clinging to Mark's back. Someone greets them and asks what they're supposed to be. Mark says that he's a snail. The other guy asks "who's on your back?" Mark replies "Michelle"
Halloween Joke
This guy goes to a Halloween costume party, but he's just wearing street clothes, and he has his girlfriend sitting on his shoulders.
The host says to him, Dude, this is a Halloween party! You're supposed to be wearing a costume?
The guy replies, I am wearing a costume! I'm a snail!
You're a snail?
Yeah, I'm a snail, says the guy. Then he points to his girlfriend and says, This is Michelle.
Obvious media bias
Michelle Obama gives a speech when her husband is being nominated, and the media is generally positive. Melania Trump gives the exact same speech, and the media pretends it's some kind of scandal.
You can explore michelle lauren reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean michelle kevin dad jokes. There are also michelle puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
I look forward to hearing Michelle Obama's speech again.
At the 2020 RNC.
Didn't have a chance to hear Michelle Obama's speech last night...
Guess I'll catch it in 4 years at the next RNC.
Michelle Obama gave a great speech last night
I can't wait to hear it again at the next Republican National Convention.
How did Barack propose to Michelle?
He got down on one knee and said, "I don't wanna be Obama self."
Why can't you hear Michelle Pfeiffer use the restroom?
Because her pee is silent.
On the bright side...
We can look forward to four more years of Michelle Obama speeches from our First Lady.
Remember when President-Elect Trump said immigrants were going to take our jobs?
It's all true! Just ask Michelle Obama!
A n**... man is walking down the street with a woman on his back...
A guy on the other side of the street yells at him "Hey! What are you doing!?"
The n**... man replies, "Don't get all upset. I'm headed to a costume party!"
"As what?" asks the guy.
"As a tortoise! Can't you tell?"
"Well, what's the woman doing on your back?"
"Oh that's just Michelle."
What did Melania Trump have on her Black Friday shopping list?
A copy of everything Michelle Obama had on her list
What does Barack say to Michelle when they're getting adventurous with their House of Cards roleplay?
"Let me be Claire."
A man is walking around a costume party dressed in green with a woman on his shoulder
When asked what he was he said he was a tortoise. Then when asked about the woman he replied "she's Michelle".
Obama and Putin have a discussion..
Putin: Let's just talk about this man to man..
Obama: Ok one moment, let me get Michelle.
My uncle told it much better but I can't remember how he said it. Feel free to repost it if you can format it better.
So I heard Donald Trump announced Melania will be giving a speech...
... glad to hear Michelle Obama will have writing work after leaving the White House.
Whether you love him or hate him...
...Trump got more fat women walking in one day than Michelle Obama did in eight years.
What did Barrack say when he was all alone? [1/2 OC]
Here I am Obama self...
Like a crab in Michelle.
![Michelle joke, What did Barrack say when he was all alone? [1/2 OC]](/images/jokes/michelle-jokes-what-did-barack-obama-say-to-michelle-when-he-prop.jpg "Michelle joke, What did Barrack say when he was all alone? [1/2 OC]")
Trump did a better job getting people to exercise in 1 month than Michelle Obama did in 8 years
Look at all those protesters on the streets!
What did Barack Obama write inside his Valentines card?
"I'm glad I've got you Michelle; I didn't want to be Obamaself"
What happens when Kelly Rowland and Michelle Williams try to make a Destiny's Child song about herbs and spices?
Bey Leaves.
A woman walks into a costume party, dressed as a turtle.
As part of the costume, another woman was painted green ND attached to her back.
At the party, someone asked the woman "Who's that on you're back?"
To which they responded "That's Michelle".
Former figure skater Michelle Kwan was caught by paparazzi, who took an unfortunate down-blouse pic.
Nevertheless, it's a perfect example of both quality and Kwan t**....
What did Barack Obama say to Michelle when he proposed to her?
I don't want to be Obama self.
A guy goes to a halloween party with a g**... his back.
The host asks him, "And what are you?"
The guy says, " I'm a snail."
The host says "And who's that on your back?"
"That's Michelle!"
I was just boasting at work about how I'm currently sleeping with a set of twins...
All the lads were very impressed but one asked;
"How do you tell them apart?"
"Easy", I said, "Michelle has long blonde hair and Dave has a moustache."
Saw a guy walking with a n**... woman on his back. "You OK?" I asked.
"Sure. I'm headed to a fancy dress as a tortoise."
"And her?"
"Oh, that's Michelle."
A man goes to a costume party wearing nothing but his underwear and a woman on his back.
His friends see him and say, Hey man, what are you supposed to be?
He replies, Oh, I'm dressed as a turtle.
His friends respond, A turtle? How are you a turtle? Who's that woman on your back?
The man replies, Oh that's just Michelle.
I went to a fancy dress party last week with my Girl Friend on my back, the host said to me what have you come as? A Turtle I replied, so what is that on your back?
Michelle. ( me shell )
A man walks into a costume party
Wearing nothing but underwear, and with a girl wrapped to his back with silver tape.
A friend of his welcomes him and asks "So... What are you dressed as?"
"I'm a turtle", answers the guy.
"And who is this on your back?"
"Oh, that's just Michelle."
(Probably a repost, I know, but the joke is just too good)
Went to a fancy dress party dressed as a turtle with a friend on my back....
Someone asked "who's that on your back?"
"That's Michelle" I replied.
Why do Magic: The Gathering players love Michelle Obama?
She's a first edition Black Flotus
p**... offered Sarah Palin a million dollars to pose n**... ..
Michelle Obama got the same offer from nat geo
I saw a man walking down the road with a woman on his back
I said "where are you going?"
He replied "Fancy dress party"
"What as?" I asked
"Tortoise" the man shouted back
"Who's she?" I questioned
To which he responded "That's Michelle"
I was at a fancy dress party, and I ran into a friend of mine, dressed as a turtle with another g**... her back
I asked who's the other girl
She said...
Michelle
A guy goes to a fancy dress party and one of the guests says to him what have you come as, and why is your wife on your back?
He replies I'm a tortoise and that's Michelle
Great 1st Ladies of the United States have there own cause. Michelle Obama's: Your Truth, Melania Trump's: Be Best...
Jackie Kennedy's: Take your shot
A n**... man arrives at a costume party with a g**... his back.
"I'm a turtle", he says.
"Oh... who's on your back?"
"That's Michelle", he replies.
A guy at a Halloween party had a g**... his back dressed in green.
The host asked "who's that?" The guy answered "that's Michelle."
Melania Trumps RNC speech just leaked on live TV
It was read aloud by Michelle Obama.
Guy goes to a fancy dress party in a green jumpsuit carry a woman by piggy back.....
Doorman: You can't come in mate, you're not in fancy dress
Guy: Yes I am, I'm a tortoise
Doorman: well I can see you're wearing green, but what's with the woman on your back?
Guy: That's Michelle....
Squirtle
A man arrives at a fancy dress with a n**... g**... his back.
"I'm a turtle" he says.
Oh.. Who's on your back?
"That's Michelle" he replies.
What's Michelle Obama's favourite vegetable
Barackoli
I went to an Animal Costume Party with my wife on my back
I knocked on the door and was immediately told I wasn't in costume.
I said that I was and when asked which animal I was I said,
I'm a turtle and on my back, that's Michelle
A dad joke that took some time
I have a friend named Michelle, but everyone calls her Mitz. I was at a bar once with Mitz and another woman named Sue. Someone we didn't know walked up and began chatting. Eventually, we got to introduce ourselves. Mitz went first, then Sue, so I, of course, introduced myself as Bishi.
They all looked at me like I was an idiot, but I loved every second of it.
A n**... man was walking down the street with a woman on his back
A bloke on the other side of the road asked, "Where are you going?"
The n**... man replied, "To a fancy dress party."
"What as?" asked the bemused gentleman.
"A tortoise", said the n**... man.
"Well, who is the woman on your back?" said the intrigued gentleman.
"Oh, that's Michelle."
EDIT - I changed the first "gentleman" to "bloke." I hope it makes more sense that way.
