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Michael Jackson Jokes

99 michael jackson jokes and hilarious michael jackson puns to laugh out loud. Read celebrity jokes about michael jackson that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Michael Jackson Short Jokes

Short michael jackson jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The michael jackson humour may include short michael jordan jokes also.

  1. I really wanted to share a link to Weird Al's 1984 Michael Jackson parody today but I realized That I can't have my Cake Day and Eat It, too.
  2. Michael Jackson should have opened a clothing line for pants. He could have called it Billie Jeans.
    Those prices are THRILLER!
    No one can BEAT IT!
    Kids pants would be half off there.
  3. What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Disney Movies ? Disney Movies still touch kids
  4. What do Michael Jackson and caviar have in common? They both come on little white crackers.
  5. What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a plastic grocery bag? One is made of plastic and dangerous for children to play with...
    And the other carries groceries.
  6. What's the difference between Harambe and Michael Jackson? Harambe got punished for touching little kids.
  7. Since we're doing jokes we made up as kids, here's mine: What did the World Chess Champion ask Michael Jackson? Do you want to be black, or white?
  8. What do Michael Jackson and Santa have in common? They both leave little boys rooms with lighter sacks.
  9. I'm going to compete in a marathon dressed as Michael Jackson. I'm not sure which race yet.
  10. -Mom, is God black or white? \-Both, mother answers
    \-Is he male of female?
    \-Both
    \-Mom, is Michael Jackson God?

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Michael Jackson One Liners

Which michael jackson one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with michael jackson? I can suggest the ones about michael j fox and george michael.

  1. Why cant Michael Jackson go within 500m of a school zone... Because he's dead
  2. Why doesn't Michael Jackson drink coffee? Because he prefers "Tea-hee!"
  3. What did they find under Michael Jackson's pillow? Billy's jeans
  4. Why is Michael Jackson bad at bowling? Because He's dead.
  5. When is bedtime at Michael Jackson's house? When the big hand touches the little hand.
  6. Why can't Michael Jackson play chess? Because he is dead.
  7. I just listened to a Michael Jackson album It was Bad to be honest
  8. Why did Michael Jackson like twenty nine year olds? There's 20 of them
  9. Apparently Michael Jackson was also a gifted baseball player. He was big in the minors.
  10. I only have one Michael Jackson album it's Bad
  11. Why can't Michael Jackson go within 200m of a school? Because he's dead
  12. I identify as Michael Jackson My pronouns are he/hee
  13. What do you call Michael Jackson's DNA? Billie Genes
  14. What are Michael Jackson's preferred pronouns? He/He
  15. Don't know what touched me more as a child... Michael Jackson's music or Michael Jackson.

Michael Jackson Death Jokes

Here is a list of funny michael jackson death jokes and even better michael jackson death puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • A friend told me that there is a place the celebrities go after they fake their deaths. Michael Jackson is there. Elvis. Tupac. I thanked him for telling me about this
    He replied "No Biggie."

Cheerful Michael Jackson Jokes for Unforgettable Laughter with Friends!

What funny jokes about michael jackson you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean michael phelps jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make michael jackson pranks.

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

Whats the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson ?

Neil Armstrong walked ON the Moon and Michael Jackson had s**... with kids.

So, little jonny came back from the church...

and asked his mom: "Mom, is god man or a woman".
Mom didn't want to spoil his mind so she said: "Both."
Little jonny went to his room and thought for sometime.
He came back and asked her: "Mom, is god black or white".
Again, the mom didn't want any controversy so she said: "Both."
Jonny again went back to his room and thought for sometime.
Then he came back and asked: "Mom, is god a straight or gay?"
Again, mom didn't want to create any controversy, so again she said: "Both."
This time jonny went to his room and thought really hard.
He came back and said: "Mom I finally figured it out. michael jackson is god"

"Daddy, is God a man or a woman?"

"Son, some people see God as a man, while others see God as a woman."
"Daddy, is God black or white?"
"Son, some people see God as black, while others see God as white."
"Daddy, is God Michael Jackson?"

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

My girlfriend caught me m**... to Michael Jackson.

She asked what I was doing
I told her to beat it.

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Casper?

One is white and scares young children and the other is a ghost.

Daddy, is god a Man or a Woman?

Father: God is both.
Boy: Is God Black or White?
Father: God is both.
Boy: Daddy, is Michael Jackson God?
*Note* I know this joke is outdated, but a very close friend told it to me a couple years ago and as she recently passed away, I'm posting it here so people can know she was awesome.

My 13 year old daughter just told me she identifies as Michael Jackson

And her pronouns are hee hee

What would Michael Jackson be doing if he were alive right now?

Probably clawing at the inside of his coffin.

What is Michael Jackson's favorite piano chord?

A-minor

What is the difference between a gorilla and Michael Jackson?

One of them got shot for touching a kid.

What does Michael Jackson have in common with a second place racehorse?

They both came in a little behind.

What do Michael Jackson and Walmart have in common?

They both have little boys' jeans half off.

Why was Michael Jackson bad at chess?

He couldn't decide if he was black or white.

How are Michael Jackson and Starfish Tuna similar?

They both come in little cans.

Why does Michael Jackson shop at k-mart.

Because little boys pants are half-off.
Sorry I know this joke is too old to be one of his victims
and I know it is bad taste to make fun of the dead.
RIP K-Mart you will be missed.

I really dislike people doing Michael Jackson impressions

Whenever I see one, I turn 360 degrees and walk away.

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

Michael Jackson is walking out from the operating room after his wife gave birth to their son.

Michael says "Hey Doc how long till we can have s**...?" The Doctor says "At least wait till he is walking Michael!!"

What does two heliums and Michael Jackson have in common?

HeHe

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

How did Michael Jackson pick his nose?

From a catalogue.
ba dum tss

What's Michael Jackson's favourite narcotic?

LSDeehee

What did Michael Jackson say to the boy in bed?

Just beat it

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a Xbox?

They're both made of plastic, and little kids turn them on.

Did you hear about the michael jackson impersonator who expertly robbed a bank?

He was a smooth criminal

Why can hipsters listen to Michael Jackson again?

He's been underground for five years now.

Why did Michael Jackson call Boys 2 Men?

He thought they were a delivery service

What is Michael Jackson's favorite lunchtime meal?

Grilled Chee-heese

On the day of Michael Jackson's death

The two paramedics arrive at Neverland Ranch to find Michael unconscious and not breathing.
The rookie says to the veteran "What should we try first?"
"I reckon the roller coaster."

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

Did you hear they were making a McJackson burger for Michael Jackson

It a 50 year old piece of meat in a 12 year old bun

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

What do Michael Jackson and Mcdonalds have in common?

They both stick their meat between 13yo buns.

What's the difference between a kinder surprise and Michael jackson.

One is a choking hazard for children and the other is a chocolate covered candy

What happened when Justin Bieber went to Michael Jackson's house?

Nothing, Michael liked boys.

What was Michael Jackson's favorite constellation?

Insida minor

Turns out Michael Jackson actually died from food poisoning

My sources tell me he ate 12 year old nuts

Whats the similarity between the xbox 360 and Michael Jackson

* Both have been black
* Both are made from plastic
* And children turn them on

What's Michael Jackson's favorite painting?

The Sha-Mona Lisa.

A man in the supermarket reminded me of Michael Jackson today.

He said, "Don't forget about Michael Jackson".

I saw an advert for a Michael Jackson figurine, and at the end of the advert it said...

...not suitable for children, colours may vary.

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag?

One is white, plastic, and dangerous to kids. You put groceries in the other.

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

Michael Jackson should have become a guitar player.

He loved f**... minors.

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

What do whitney houston and Michael Jackson have in common?

They both spent a fortune making their noses more white.

What did Michael Jackson tell his girlfriend when he broke up with her

It's not you it's Mee-Hee

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

Just saw the Michael Jackson documentary

I didn't realize how many kids were b**...-hurt after Leaving Neverland

So I heard the Michael Jackson Estate is coming out with it's own line of Caviars

It's true! It comes on little white crackers.

Why did Michael Jackson call Boyz II Men?

Because he thought it was a delivery service.

Why do people like telling Michael Jackson jokes.

Because when they do he goes HeHe.

What's white, plastic, and not suitable for ages 5 and under?

Michael Jackson

Which famous celebrity has had the most children over the last 20 years?

Which famous celebrity has had the most children over the last 20 years?
Michael Jackson

What's the difference between Santa Claus & Michael Jackson?

one comes when children dream & the other dreams of children coming*.

Have you heard of the Michael Jackson diet?

You just have to start with the man in the mirror, and ask him to change his weighs.

Anne Frank, Michael Jackson, and Helen Keller walk into a bar...

Just kidding they're all dead.

A soda company printed Michael Jackson on all of their cans

He really is the king of pop

What did Michael Jackson almost name his daughter?

Nata-LEE-HEE!

Q: What would Michael Jackson be doing if he were alive today in 2022?

A: Knocking on the lid of his coffin.
Hee hee!

I used to laugh at Michael Jackson for wearing gloves and a mask.....

Yet here i am, stuck at home in this covid19 Thriller,
Beating it.....

A woman tanning on the beach sees Michael Jackson.

She says Hey, get out of my son

Michael Jackson did a moonwalk. What does Jay-Z do?

Jay-walks of course

jokes about michael jackson