Mice Jokes

116 mice jokes and hilarious mice puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about mice that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Discover the funniest jokes about mice ever in this article! From three blind mice and church mice to jokes about phobias and purrgatory, you'll laugh out loud. Plus, find out why mice outrank cockroaches for comedy.

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Funniest Mice Short Jokes

Short mice jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The mice humour may include short rodent jokes also.

  1. Hickory Dickory Dock Two mice ran up the clock. The clock struck one and the other got through with only minor injuries.
  2. How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two, obviously. How they got inside the lightbulb is the part I don't understand...
  3. How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb. Only 2, it's just really difficult getting them in the lightbulb.
  4. How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two, but how they got in there I will never know.
  5. How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just two, but I have no idea how they got in the lightbulb.
  6. I read somewhere that WD40 is great from keeping mice out of your garden. I tried it... It doesn't work!!
    However they have stopped squeaking.
  7. Hickory Dickory Dock... Three mice ran up the clock
    The clock struck one
    But the rest escaped with minor injuries.
    (Something my grandfather told me when I was five)
  8. Arnold Schwarzeneggar never has mice, rats or cockroaches in his house He is an ex Terminator
  9. How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb? It only takes two mice to screw in a light bulb.
    The hard part is getting them in there.
  10. I see your lightbulb joke... How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
    Two, but the trick is getting them inside the lightbulb.

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Mice One Liners

Which mice one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with mice? I can suggest the ones about cat and mouse and computer mouse.

  1. Two mice are chewing on a film roll One says, "I liked the book better"
  2. What do Christians and mice have in common? They both worship cheeses
  3. Who do MICE pray to? CHEESUS
  4. Why was mars overrun with mice? Curiosity killed the cat.
  5. What do rats like on their birthday? Mice cream and cake!
    C'mon, you know the rules!!
  6. Two mice chewing on a film roll One of them goes, "I think the book was better"
  7. Who do mice worship? Cheesus. :)
  8. How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two. But how did they get in there?
  9. On hot summer days, what do cats eat? A mice-cream cone!
  10. What's Invisible and Smells Like Mice? Cat Farts...
  11. What has six eyes but can't see? Three blind mice.
  12. What do mice eat on their birthdays? Cheesecake.
  13. What do cats cook for dinner when they're in a hurry? Minute Mice
  14. What do cats like to eat for breakfast? Mice Krispies
  15. What is a cat's favorite breakfast? Mice crispies.

Three Mice Jokes

Here is a list of funny three mice jokes and even better three mice puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Hickory, Dickory, Dock ... Three mice ran up the clock,
    The clock struck one,
    And the rest escaped with minor injuries
  • Hickory dickory dock, three mice ran up the clock The clock struck one, but the other two got away.
  • Three blind ______ In Asia, its not 3 blind mice. It's 3 blind rice.

3 Mice Jokes

Here is a list of funny 3 mice jokes and even better 3 mice puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What has 6 eyes but cant see? 3 blind mice.
  • What's a cats favorite song? 3 blind mice
  • What's the 3 blind mices' favorite s**... act? Hickory Dickory Docking
  • "Hey Mom, could you tell us the nursery rhyme about the 3 mice?" Mom: "The one's that m**...?"
Mice joke, "Hey Mom, could you tell us the nursery rhyme about the 3 mice?"

Mice joke, "Hey Mom, could you tell us the nursery rhyme about the 3 mice?"

Delightful Fun Mice Jokes for a Roaring Good Time

What funny jokes about mice you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean minnie mouse jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make mice pranks.

What do cats eat for breakfast?

Mice Krispies.

Did you hear Schwarzenegger got a job killing mice?

No he's an ex-terminator

How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Only 2, but its really hard to get them inside the bulb.

Man runs over a cat

Yesterday the lady next door received a buzz from the front door. When she opened the door there was a man there.
With a saddened look the man says "Lady, I'm terribly sorry, I just ran over your cat."
Without hesitation the man tells the lady that he would like to replace the cat.
The lady looks up at the man and replies "Thats all right with me, but how are you at catching mice?"

A study was just conducted to see what the #1 fear in humans is

The results came back, and it's cats. But something seems a little off. They've only done testing on mice so far


We've had a few mice in the house recently so I set a few traps.
The next day I went down to check and was very surprised with what I found.
I jumped back into bed and said to the wife, "There are some clever mice in this area."
"Why?" she asked, "Did they get the cheese without springing the traps?"
"They didn't go near them," I replied. "They're sitting in the living room playing Scrabble."

How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

2, unless they're small enough to fit a third in there.

cat problems

A girl cat asked her boyfriend cat where her mouse stuffed animal was. He says "that was a stuffed animal? I thought it was real so I ate it!"

There are two mice...

One is called In, one is call Out, when In is in, Out is out.
Sometimes they like to play jokes on each other, so Out goes in and In goes out... one day In died, how did out know in died?

What does Lenny (of Mice and Men) do during foreplay?

Heavy petting.

A cat entered a barn

A cat entered a barn:
All the mice hid. The cat broke the silence again:
Woof, woof!
All the mice came out of hiding. The moral: It's always good to study a second language.

Ice Bank Mice Elf

(repeat this 10 times fast)

The lady next door ran over my cat.

She said she'd replace it, so I asked her how good she was at catching mice.
Courtesy of Mary Poppins.

My English is terrible, but at least I know the plural for mouse

which is mice.

Two scientists are about the open the results of a recent experiment.

The first scientist eagerly asks the other: "So, what does it say? Is it looking like we're pretty close to a cure?"
"Well, it appears that out of all the mice that received the new treatment, we were only able to successfully cure every-other one. So, the odds aren't looking very good..."

second language

A family of mice were surprised by a big cat. Father Mouse jumped and and said, "Bow-wow!" The cat ran away. "What was that, Father?" asked Baby Mouse. "Well, son, that's why it's important to learn a second language."

How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Just two, as long as there's a bed inside.

If a cat catches all the mice on your property...

does that make it squeaky clean?

What do mice eat during the summer?


So I was at a conference for experimental philosophy...

and it was getting a bit dull so I turned to the guy next to me and asked
"So, what do you do?"
He lit up, eager to tell all.
"Well, I'm studying the effects of introducing rodents to Nihilistic thinking through an intricate series of signals and experiments. Nice to meet cha!"
Ah, I replied.....
Mice to Nietszche.

What do you get when you put mice in the oven?

Mice crispies.

What do you say to a guy who is covered in rodents?

Mice outfit!

how many mice do you need to screw in a light bulb?

just 2. The hard part is getting them into the light bulb.

Three Mice Are Bragging to eachother

The first mouse says: I will eat tons of mouse-poison, but it does nothing to me. The second mouse says, well for me a mouse trap is peanuts! I just pull the lever and take the cheese!
The Third says: Oh you two, stop bragging already! Wait... what time is it? Oh, I have to go home, i have to feed the cat!

Researchers in Texas have cured diabetes in mice without side effects.

I bet the scientist that are trying to cure diabetes in humans are so jealous right now.

Some teenage computer mice were forced to talk to each other...

It took them a while, but they cliqued.

How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

2, the real mystery is how they got there

Three mice are arguing whether the holes are part of the cheese or not.

The one that thought they WERE went to the wise old owl for advice. When he got back, the cheese was gone. He asked the other two mice:
"What happened to the cheese?"
They replied:
"We decided to agree with you, so we split the cheese into thirds, and your third happened to be the holes."

Why did two mice fall in love?

They just clicked.

Yesterday when the lady answered the door there was a man there.

And the man said to the lady I'm terribly sorry, I just ran over your cat.
Then the man said, I'd like to replace your cat.
The lady said, that's alright with me, but how are you at catching mice?

Hickory dickory dock, the mice ran up the clock. The clock struck one

The rest barely escaped with their lives

An immigrant moves to New York City from another country...

He can bearly speak broken English. He notices mice in his apartment and immediately calls the landlord to report the problem. Hello!
-Hello, what's the problem?
-You know Tom and j**...?
-Yes, Tom and j**...?
-Well, j**... problem.

- I bought a cat

- Why did you buy a cat?
- My wife is afraid of mice
- You have mice at your house?
- Yes, I brought them a week ago
- Why did you bring mice into your house?
- I always wanted a cat.

The natural fear cycle.

Cockroach afraid of mice
Mice afraid of cats
Cats afraid of dogs
Dogs afraid of men
Men afraid from wives
Wives afraid of cockraoches.

I accidentally ran over my neighbor's cat the other day.

So, immediately, I went and knocked on her door, and I said, "I'm terribly sorry, ma'am; I think I've killed your cat. To make amends for this tragic mistake, I'll replace him if you'd like."
She said, "That's very noble of you, but how are you at catching mice?"

A scientist has been working with mice for many years and has discovered a potential cure for cancer.

"It was an elaborate experiment".

What do cats put in their drinks?

Mice cubes.

A woman ran over my cat with her car.

The cat was killed and the woman knocked on my door. "I'm so sorry. I've accidentally killed your cat and I'd like to replace it." I said "I'm sure we can work something out, but first I need to know if you can catch mice."

Doctor, every night I dream of mice playing football, what should I do?

-Take these pills tonight, it should all go away
-Can I take them tomorrow?
-Tonight are the finals

A guy knocks on an old ladies door

He says excuse me, I think I've killed your cat I just ran over it in the street but I'd like to offer to replace it. She looks at him and says how good are you at catching mice?

Why are programmers so good at poetry?

Well, all words rhyme in binary.

Where do mice and rats go to get drinks?

At a Squeakeasy!

Hickery dickery dock. The mice ran up the clock.

The clock struck one,
And the others suffered minor injuries.

A weird order at the pet shop

A guy walks in a pet shop and says: "I want 2 rats, 7 mice, 190 spiders and a pound of flies."
The guy behind the bar lifts an eyebrow and aks: "You're an owner of snakes?"
"No" said the man. "I am moving and they asked to leave the house in the same state."

Three mice

Three mice are being chased by a cat. The mice were cornered when one of the mice turned around and barked, "Ruff! Ruff! Ruff!" The surprised cat ran away scared. Later when the mice told their mother what happened, she smiled and said, "You see, it pays to be bilingual!"

Two Mice Live in a Movie Studio Warehouse

Two mice live in a movie studio warehouse and are looking for food. Suddenly one hears the other chewing.
"What did you find?" he asks.
"I'm not sure, it looks like a piece of film celluloid from an old movie. Let me see...ah, yes - it's from 'Gone with the Wind'".
"And how is it?"
"Nothing much. The book was better."

An old woman hears a knock on her door and opens it to see a man standing there, hat in hand.

I'm terribly sorry but I ran over your cat with my car.
The old woman breaks down in tears and starts crying uncontrollably.
The man says I know it won't be the same but I'd really like to replace your cat.
The woman stops crying for a moment, looks up, and says I don't know........ how are you at catching mice?

With this new app, you'll be able to keep track of the speed at which your pet mice move and share it online in just a matter of seconds.

Introducing: Mice Pace

I'm a scientist who's researching b**... between humans and dogs…

If you'd like more details, I'll be in my lab…

My friend, who studies mice, wanted a specific rodent to complete his collection.

He asked me to find one for him. I searched far and wide for a homosexual rodent of the Ming subspecies (that was his request).
After a few months, I found a rodent that matched his request. But when I gave it to him, he slapped me.
I was shocked. "Why did you slap me?", I asked out of frustration.
"You idiot! I asked you for a gaming mouse!!"

How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Just two. The real question is how they got in there.

How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two, of course, but I have no idea how they got in there

WANTED: Large amount of rats, mice and bed bugs

… as my current rental agreement requires me to leave the apartment in the condition it was when I moved in.

What do you do if you accidentally get your pet snake wet?

Put it in a bowl of mice overnight.

who do Mice pray to?

The Lord cheesus

Barking mouse

The cat closes in upon them as the terrified baby mice back into the corner with no where to run. Suddenly, out in a distance behind the cat, mama mouse began barking "woof, woof!". Caught off guard the cat immediately turned tail and ran. Seeing that the coast is clear, mama mouse came up to her babies and gathered them up. Having made sure that all her babies are accounted for, she said, "see children, that's why it's so important to learn a 2nd language."

2 Mice were chewing on a film reel...

One says to other , " The book was definitely better"

How many mice does it take to screw in a light-bulb?

Two, but I still don't know how they got in there!
It's my cake day and I remembered to make a post! (Wait, one thing say today and one thing says tomorrow - it's today gosh darn it!)

I ran over my neighbor's cat the ither day..

And I felt really bad about it so I told her that I will replace her cat. She said "that's all well and good but how are you at catching mice?"

Two mice are walking down a New York sidewalk.

A beautiful woman passes them. The first mouse says Wow! Did you see the a**... on her?! The other mouse responds It was nice, but I'm a titmouse myself.

Two white mice chat...

The first one asks: "Did you get the Covid-19 vaccine?"
The second replies: "Hey, I am not crazy they didn't yet finish the tests on humans!"

Vote me down to oblivion but still the answer is 42!

Mice joke, Two white mice chat...

jokes about mice