The Best 44 Mic Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Mic jokes. There are some mic intercom jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these mic turbulence puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Mic Jokes and Puns

I was at a bar one night when I heard the most amazing rendition of Free Bird being played. I headed to the stage to find my local magistrate behind the guitar & on the mic. I was so impressed that I hired him to play my wedding, but he insisted on playing his original music which was terrible.

Just goes to show, never book a judge by his cover.

Right after takeoff, a pilot comes on the microphone to welcome his passengers. Thank you for flying with us. The weather is....

Then he suddenly starts screaming while still on the mic, OH MY GOD! IT IS BURNING!!, IT IS BURNING!

Then silence.

A few seconds later, he comes back on and says, I'm terribly sorry about what happened. I spilled some scorching hot coffee on my lap...you should see my pants!!

A voice from the back of the plane yelled, Why don't you come here and see ours?

I give to you a joke I made up when I was seven: Why did the computer crash?

Because it had a bad driver!

*drops mic*

I got booed off stage on open mic night because of my terrible Schwarzenegger impersonation but I'm not gonna let that get to me....

I'll return

What is the difference between standup comedy, and motivational speaking?

Which side of the mic the depressed people are on.


I was on this plane once...

Captain sets for take off and we are 35000 feet in the air, the captain then sets his mic down but forgets to turn it off.

The captain turns to the co-pilot and says "all I could use right now is a blow job and a cup of coffee".

The stewardess starts running from the back of the plane to tell the captain he still has his mic on.

A guy in the back of the plane screams out "hey hun, don't forget the coffee!".

A woman is sitting at her husbands funeral listening to the eulogies

She turned to the man next to her and asked if he would say a few words.

Certainly , he says and walks up to the mic

A few words the man says before sitting back down

That's exactly what I needed to hear says the woman.

A man sitting behind her leans forward and asks, Do you mind if I say a word?

Not at all she replies

He stands, walks forward and clears his throat.

Bargain he says before returning to his seat

Thanks , says the woman, that means a great deal

Another man then takes the mic and simply says many .

Thank you, that means a lot says the woman

So I told a premature baby joke at an open mic night but I don't think the crowd liked it.

Apparently it was too soon

A Hungarian cockroach was telling terrible jokes at an open mic night. What do you do?

Budapest

A flat earther snuck into a physics seminar

While the speaker was giving speech on recent development about gravity, flat earther shouted

" Why do you even think that gravity is real? "

Speaker dropped the mic.

A pilot is flying a plane and shortly after mid-air announcement , forgets to turn off the mic.

He then mentions to his copilot : "I am dating that cute air hostess. After we land , we will go to the hotel and bang. "
The air hostess after hearing this runs towards the front of the plane at full speed to tell the pilot to turn off the mic and hits a blind man's stick and falls down.
The guy sitting on the other side says : "Why are you in such a hurry , we haven't even landed yet! "

You can explore mic boombox reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean mic microphone dad jokes. There are also mic puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


What's the difference between Biggie Smalls and Charlie Chaplin?

One rocks the mic, while the other mocks the reich.

One of my personal favorites (Thanks Good Will Hunting)

So I'm on a plane flying from New York to LA and the pilot gives his "now free to move about the cabin" message, only he forgets to turn off the mic, so the entire plane hears him when he turns to the copilot and says "Man I could really use a coffee and a blow job." The flight attendant runs to the cockpit to tell the pilot the mic was on, so I yell out "Hey honey, don't forget the coffee!"

A boy is making sure a microphone works for an open bar stand up night.

Aa boy, not much older than 12 or 13, comes up to the mic and says
"Ice, ice, icicle".
"Pop, pop, popsicle".
"Test," and the crowd stares in horror as the inevitable is going to happen.
"Test, testing one two three"

Isaac Newton: "Gravity exists"

*drops mic*

A demolition expert goes on stage during open mic night...

He proceeds to bring the house down.

An audio technician becomes a comedian

An audio technician is on stage at an open mic night in a comedy club.

He seems to be absolutely crushing the audience with witty and outrageous jokes.

At the end of his time he gets to do a mic drop.

That was the last night he ever did comedy.

The feedback ruined it.

The date is 20 January 2017.

The date is 20 January 2017. Donald Trump has just been sworn in as President. He walks to the mic for his inauguration speech. He looks at Obama and says "You're Fired"

Why did the philanthropist learn how to subtract?

Because he wanted to make a difference.

My first original, time for open mic!


My friend was testing his mic for Discord, I told him to get a Scope

So he wont have Troubleshooting

A man accused of murder tries to get a shorter sentence.

Prosecutor: "Did you commit the murder?"

Accused: "No"

Prosecutor: "Do you know what the penalty is for perjury!?"

Accused *leans into mic* : "Much less than murder."

It's quiet...too quiet...

Did you hear about the woman who couldn't find a singing partner?

She had to buy a duet yourself kit...

*-drops mic-*

*-mike jumps up and promptly kicks hatter in the shin-*

Took my guitar to an open mic night at a bar. Yea, it sucked cuz they made me play one less chord.

Guess one of 'em was a minor.

I was playing an Online game with a friend....

I was playing an Online game with a friend and he went afk, he came back a few seconds later and over the mic he said "Sorry, that was my wife, she brought me a snack". I said "I really wish I had one of those". My friend said "yeah, having a wife is pretty nifty" to which I replied "No, I was talking about the snack."

Most people would say that Eminem, Jay-Z, or Andre 3000 spit the hardest on the mic...

I personally think it was Mia Khalifa.

If Hitler made a Microphone company...

...it'd be called "The Third Mic".

What's the difference between Tay Zonday and ASMR videos?

Tay moves away from the mic to breathe in.

How do you tell if a girl in Nebraska is a virgin?

She can outrun her brothers...

*mic drop* "I'm out..."

I asked my dad if he knew what an "open mic night" was...

"Yeah" he said "Its got something to do with surgery."

What did the new comic say to the mic?

Thanks for the feedback.

*at cash register*

ME: Do I swipe the whole card or...

*[seductively inserts chip]*

Just the tip?

CASHIER: *[into mic]* Security

I'm DJ'ing my daughter's 11th bday. As DJ D. A. D. , I need to collect your best dad jokes suitable for the mic!

I'm sure she'll forgive me... eventually.... Hit me!

Why did Microsoft go straight from Windows 8 to Windows 10?

BECAUSE SEVEN ATE NINE
*drops mic*

A guy with a stammer participates in an open Mic night at a pub.

In his opening joke, he makes fun of other people with stammers. A guy from the audience shouts, "You can't make fun of disabilities even if you have one!" The comedian replies, "Did I f-fucking s-s-stutter?"

What did the meteorologist use as his stage name when he rapped at the Open Mic Night?

Heavy Drizzle.

Doing open mic comedy is like Catholic mass.

You try to go at least once a week and leave feeling really bad about yourself.

At the annual sperm donor conference, the president takes the mic and says

Good morning and thank for coming, everyone

You gotta learn to trust your government.

*leans into hidden mic* Just like I do!

What's John Lee Hooker's favourite recording device?

A Boom Boom mic

I'm disappointed by these wrapping ministries that pop up around this time of year.

Not a single one of them involves a dope beat and a mic to blaze.

What do you call a pirate who is all out of reales(Silver coins)?

Long Gone Silver...

/drops mic

What kind of mic did Kurt Cobain use?

A shotgun mic!

What did one fetus say to the other?

Guess were wombmates! *drops mic*

A band walks on stage,

They take their time setting up. The front man speaks into the mic and announces to the audience 'we are The Indian Givers'

Then they all walk straight back off the stage.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the mic stewardess jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working mic subwoofer piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes