Miami Jokes
46 miami jokes and hilarious miami puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about miami that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Laugh the night away with these hilarious Miami jokes and puns! Featuring jokes about the city, its attractions, sports teams, such as the Miami Dolphins and Miami Heat, and more! Slim down your search for the perfect joke - laugh and learn about the city of Miami, Florida, University of Miami, Miami Vice, Miami Hurricane, and Myers Lifespan.
Quick Jump To
- Short Miami Jokes
- Miami One Liners
- Miami Beach Jokes
- Miami Heat Jokes
- Miami Dolphin Jokes
- Miami Hurricane Jokes
- Csi Miami Jokes
- More Miami Jokes
Funniest Miami Short Jokes
Short miami jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The miami humour may include short condo jokes also.
- Did you hear about all the toilets being stolen inside the Miami Dade police department? The cops have nothing to go on.
- What's the difference between a jet engine and my wife? The jet engine stops whining when it gets to Miami.
- Anybody a fan of college football? I heard the Miami Hurricanes are looking strong this year.
- Whats the good thing about living in Houston? Property values are gonna be higher than Miami on Monday.
- I think every race should be equal I don't see the point of having different distances in Abu Dhabi and Miami Grand Prix.
- How much did it cost the Miami Heat to lose their spot in the 2021 NBA playoffs? 10-15 Bucks.
- What do University of Miami, Florida State, and University of Florida football fans have in common? None attended the University of Miami.
- People of New York, Los Angeles & Miami, did you know you are living in 3 cities at the same time?
- A boy asks his father, "Where's the big storm going?" The father replies, "Miami."
The son says, "Is your Ami going to be ok?" - I want to own a basketball franchise in Miami and I want to name the team humidy... Then when someone asks if its the heat I can go "its not the heat, its the humidity."
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Miami One Liners
Which miami one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with miami? I can suggest the ones about hurricane and speedboat.
- What's a Jewish girl's favorite wine? "I want to go to Miami!"
- Frosty the Snowman didn't make it down to Miami this year; …but, he sure thawed about it!
- Did you hear about that giant cooling device in Florida? It was a Miami heat fan.
- The Miami Dolphins....
- Do you want to know a good Jewish wine? Ma, when are we going to Miami?
- Where did Miami International Airport go? It went MIA
- What's Miami's biggest issue? The canes, caine and hurricanes
- A man with no arms stabs a tourist in Miami Beach I heard someone lent him a hand
- I'd try to recreate hotline miami But I'd fall in a sink hole.
- Why doesn't Miami have an airport? Because it's MIA.
- If hotline miami is so good... Why isn't there a hotline miami 2?
- Girlfriend got hot He asked "how hot is your girlfriend"
Me "as hot as Miami" - Matthew is offering free one way tickets to miami Offer is only valid for black people...
- Why did they stop serving beer at Miami Marlins games? They didn't have enough pitchers.
- What do you call a hot girls number? Hotline Miami 76.
Miami Beach Jokes
Here is a list of funny miami beach jokes and even better miami beach puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Jewish joke from the 1970s: What's the fastest thing on earth? An Arab riding a bicycle down Collins Avenue in Miami Beach.
Miami Heat Jokes
Here is a list of funny miami heat jokes and even better miami heat puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Did you hear the Miami Heat's new theme song? It's absolute fire
- Why did Lebron leave Miami? Because he just couldn't stand the heat
Miami Dolphin Jokes
Here is a list of funny miami dolphin jokes and even better miami dolphin puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Even though the Miami Dolphins traded down in the draft... They still got the highest pick.
Miami Hurricane Jokes
Here is a list of funny miami hurricane jokes and even better miami hurricane puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Evacuating Miami is the best revenge against hurricane Irma. Because now Irma can just go and pound sand.
Csi Miami Jokes
Here is a list of funny csi miami jokes and even better csi miami puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What did Horatio say to the pathological liar in CSI: Miami? Won't get fooled again!
Quirky and Hilarious Miami Jokes to Let the Chuckles Begin.
What funny jokes about miami you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean evacuate jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make miami pranks.
Getting on a plane . . .
. . . I told the ticket lady, "Send one of my bags to New York, send one to LA, and send one to Miami."
She told me, "We can't do that!"
I told her, "Well you did it last week!"
The teacher was asking her students what they wanted to be when they grow up.
When it came to Johnny he said, I want to be a billionaire and go to expensive clubs. I'll get me a b**..., and buy her a million-dollar apartment in Vegas, a Ferrari, a beach house in Miami, a jet to fly with, expensive jewelry and have s**... with her 3 times a day.
The teacher was lost for words and didn't know what to do, so she just proceeded along and asked Marie what she wanted to be.
Marie replied: "I'd like to be Johnny's b**...!!"
A man is in an airplane from Miami to Paris
And a stunning gorgeous woman seats by his side. He's the eager to start a conversation.
"So, what are you doing in Paris?"
"I'm a scientist, I research s**..."
The man is now tempted:
"What have you discovered about s**... in your research?"
"I came to find that Native Americans have the longest p**... and Spanish can last the longest in bed. By the way, I'm Carol, what's your name?"
"I'm Sitting Bull Hernandez, nice to meet you"
A blonde boards a plane to Miami...
A blonde boards a plane to Miami and takes a seat in first class even though she has an economy ticket. A flight attendant tells her several times to move to economy class, but the blonde doesn't listen. Exasperated, the flight attendant goes to the cockpit. Seconds later the pilot steps out and whispers something in the blonde's ear. Immediately, she gets up from her seat and goes to economy class. Intrigued, the flight attendant asks the pilot how he managed to convince her to relinquish her seat.
"Easy" says the pilot, "I told her first class doesn't go to Miami"
Agent: "Welcome to Delta, can I help you?"
Passenger: "Hi, I'm going to Boston. I'd like this bag sent to Miami, and this one to Atlanta."
Agent: "I'm sorry, but we can't do that sir."
Passenger: "Really? Because you did it last week..."
Credit to /u/SilverbackBob
Breaking News
At Miami International Airport today, an individual, later discovered to be a public school teacher, was arrested trying to board a flight while in possession of a compass, a protractor, and a graphical calculator.
Authorities believe he is a member of the notorious Al-Gebra movement which has struck t**... into the lives of many for generations. He is being charged with carrying weapons of math instruction.
A German guy, wanting to escape the cold and dark German winter, books a holiday to Miami.
A German guy, wanting to escape the cold and dark German winter, books a holiday to Miami. His first day there, he heads to the nearest beach bar and proceeds to pound down mai tais. After 5 or 6 drinks, he feels a strong urge to pee, and in his drunken state, he swivels his stool around and starts peeing right onto the sand. Just then, a young woman happens to walk by and shrieks "g**...!"
His cheeks blush as he yells back "Danke!"
A guy goes into the airport...
...to check in for his flight to Amarillo.
When it comes time to check his bags, he says, "OK, I want this one to go to San Diego, this other one to go to Boston, and this third one to go to Miami."
"Sir," says the check-in officer, "I'm afraid we can't do that!"
"Why not? You did it last week!"
Two blondes are driving to Miami for spring break
On a long boring stretch of highway they start complaining about how long it's taking to get there and the driver asks "What do you think is further away, Florida or the moon?" The passenger replies "Oh my God, you give blondes such a bad name. I can't believe how s**... you are, you can't even see Florida from here!"
A man approached the check in counter
A man approached the check in counter, he had a flight booked to Miami. He leaned over to the lady and said "Miss I have a special request, I would like my green bag to go to London, and my red bag to go to Hawaii"
Confused, the check in lady said "I'm sorry sir we can't do that"
The man responded "Thats great news, because thats what happened last time"
Dearest Wife email
*A few days after her husband's death, a grieving widow accidentally receives an e-mail from a man waiting for his wife in Miami.*
**The e-mail reads:**
Dearest Wife,
Just got checked in. Everything prepared for your arrival tomorrow.
P.S. Sure it is hot down here.
