Mexico Jokes
163 mexico jokes and hilarious mexico puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about mexico that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Discover the funniest jokes about Mexico City, immigrants and Mexican culture. Laugh at the silly jokes that poke fun at traditional customs and ciudad life. Enjoy a lighthearted look at Mexican culture!
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Funniest Mexico Short Jokes
Short mexico jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The mexico humour may include short immigrants jokes also.
- A plane carrying Donald Trump made an emergency landing in New Orleans after alleged engine failure over the Gulf of Mexico. Turns out there was just a loud whine coming from the right wing.
- My friend's girlfriend is pregnant, and he is thinking of a name for the past few weeks. Finally he decided on Carlos and ran away to Mexico.
- Swimming in the Ocean I while back I was sitting on a beach in Mexico watching this guy in the ocean screaming "HELP shark, HELP!" I just laughed, I knew that shark wasn't going to help him.
- Mexico's president says he will not go to the U.S. for a meeting with Trump The wall's not even finished and it kept a Mexican out!
- My girlfriend got pregnant, so I've been thinking about a name for over two weeks I chose Carlos and escaped to Mexico
- Justin Bieber has been kidnapped! They want $100 million and a charter plane to Mexico or else they will release him.
- Why doesn't Mexico have a good Olympic team? Because everyone who is good at running, jumping, and swimming have already made it into the U.S.
- Why doesn't Mexico host the Olympic games? All the good runners, jumpers, and swimmers are in the US.
- Large tsunami hits Mexico - 300k were killed... ...Canada sends money, Brazilia sends food, USA sends 300k mexicans.
- Two major banks from Mexico and America are merging next month They're calling the new company CapitalJuan
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Mexico One Liners
Which mexico one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with mexico? I can suggest the ones about new mexico and mexico city.
- Mexico called. They are willing to pay for the wall now.
- 2020 Olympic high jump results Gold - Mexico
silver - Mexico
Bronze - Mexico - in mexico, we don't say "I love you" cause we dont speak english.
- Why did I quit my job in Mexico? It didn't peso well.
- 2 cars had a head-on collision in Mexico today.. 34 people died.
- After yesterday's events Mexico has agreed to pay for the wall and Canada wants one too.
- What do you call the top wealthiest people in Mexico? The Juan percent.
- TIL Dr Dre adopted a child from Mexico The child calls him his "PaDre"
- Did you guys hear about the 4 car accident in Mexico? ...94 people died.
- What is the most popular novel in Mexico? Tequila mocking bird
- Why has Mexico never won olympic gold? All those who can run, jump and swim are in Texas.
- What borders on insanity? Canada and Mexico
- captain mexico Always trying to take captain america's job.
- Who's Going to Pay For the Wall? Mexico
Mexic
Mexi
Mex
Me - What did the city say to its father before it left for Mexico? Ciudad
Mexico Border Jokes
Here is a list of funny mexico border jokes and even better mexico border puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What borders obesity? Mexico and Canada
- Apparently, Canada has the world's thickest border... With Mexico.
- An American got busted at the border for trying to smuggle two donkeys into Mexico. It was an assassination attempt.
- I brought my girlfriend to Mexico for Valentine's Day. I got arrested on the way back for snuggling her over the border.
- The wall Why trump wants to build a wall around the us mexico border?
To defeat china by building a larger wall. - Hurricane Bud is expected to pass over Mexico and cross the border into the United States. By the time it reaches us, it'll be Bud Lite.
- Donald Trump pulls out of Paris Climate Arrangement after alleged threats to interfere with the U.S. Mexico border wall. He heard "Climb-it" deal, and flipped out
- Why did the Mexican jump the border? To get back to Mexico
- Donald Trump figured out how to get Mexico to pay for the border wall. He promised monthly diplomatic visits to Mexico by motorcade.
- I've been thinking of a name ever since my gf got pregnant a week ago. I decided on Juan and hopped the border to Mexico
New Mexico Jokes
Here is a list of funny new mexico jokes and even better new mexico puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Kansas, Colorado, New Mexico, and Texas are all about to Outlaw Interstate Begging These four states are all against the Oklahoma panhandle.
- Have you heard about the new emo-punk band taking Mexico by storm? They're called *Hispanic! At the disco*.
- A man in New Mexico asked a farmer if he had any local chili peppers for sale. Unfortunately, the farmer said he had 99 poblanos but a Hatch ain't one.
- The state of New Mexico.. When they named the state of New Mexico were they degrading the state or honoring Mexico?
it seemed funnier when I first said it. is this how it always happens? - The FBI closed the National Solar Observatory monitoring the sun in New Mexico. It has been repositioned to monitor Uranus.
- In 2018 I've had a horrible relationship with autocorrect. But hey...
New Year, New Mexico - Why did the bird poacher get arrested in New Mexico? Because he took a wrong tern in Albuquerque.
- 2pac has been spotted in Mexico, performing under a brand new stage name... 2paco
- Have you heard about the new hiphop genre from Mexico? Its called gangstawrap
- If a plane crashes on the border between Arizona and New Mexico... where do they bury the survivors?
Mexico City Jokes
Here is a list of funny mexico city jokes and even better mexico city puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Parked my car in Mexico City last night. Came out in the morning to find a gang of kids had come and stolen all the parts off it. Jesus took the wheel.
- I just sold my collection of Swiss watches to a friend in Mexico City. Adios Omegas.
- Did you check the weather for Mexico City? It's chili today and hot tamale.
- Question and Answer Q: Did you hear about the Mexico City earthquake?
A: It did $100 million worth of improvements - The Paralympic World Championships in Mexico City has been postponed It's been crippled by an earthquake.
- How do you say shook in Spanish? I don't know but I bet anyone in Mexico City could tell you
- A packet of soy sauce walks into a cantina in Mexico City... And tells the bartender, "Yo Soy Salsa"
Gulf Of Mexico Jokes
Here is a list of funny gulf of mexico jokes and even better gulf of mexico puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- [US] Mexican Submarine Destroyed in the Gulf of Mexico Oops wrong sub
- Scientists say they have developed a car that can run on water. Scientists say they have developed a car that can run on water. The only catch is, the water has to come from the Gulf of Mexico.
- They ask a white supremacist if we should change the name of the Gulf of Mexico to the Gulf of US . . . He replies: I don't care, as long as it's Not Sea ...
- What do you call the worlds most famous oil painting? The Gulf Of Mexico.
Hilarious Fun Mexico Jokes That Will Have You Rolling with Laughter
What funny jokes about mexico you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make mexico pranks.
What did Pikachu said when he tried food in Mexico?
Pica, Pica.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why does Mexico never wins any medals at the Olympic Games?
Because everyone who runs, swims, or jump really well is already across the border.
The chief of a tribe in Mexico dies.
His son is now the chief. Since he never learned the ways of his forefathers to predict winters, when he gets asked what should the tribe do, he just tells them to collect firewood. He then goes to the National Weather Station in Mexico and asks them how bad winter is going to be. They tell him; "It looks like it will be pretty bad". Shocked, he goes back to his tribe and tells them to gather more firewood. He goes back to the weather station and asks them again if winter will be bad. They answer, "It is going to be one of the worst winters in a decade." The Chief goes back to the village and tells them to gather more firewood. Then he goes for a third time to the weather station and asks them again, "will the winter be bad?" They respond, "It will be the worst winter in a century." The chief asks them, "How do you know winter will be bad?" They answer, "Because the Indians are gathering firewood like crazy!"
I pushed a chair off a mountain in Mexico
As it fell, I called out "Silla!"
A jew and a mexican are talking...
The jew says, "lemme ask you something, are theres jews in mexico?"
The mexican replies "oh yes my friend, plenty of jews...apple jews, orange jews, and tomato jews."
A boy goes on holiday to Mexico and texts his mate saying "Weather out here is just like your mother, 36 and hot"
His mate replies "Weather back here is just like your sister, 16 and wet"
What's the difference between an American tourist in Mexico and a spanking?
A spanking rattles the buns, and an American tourist in Mexico battles the runs
Que dijo la persona que estaba callendo de un edificio muy muy alto en diciembre?
Feliz gravidad!
(Translation: What did the person falling from the very very tall building in december say?
Happy Gravity!)
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A Mexican, an Arab, and a r**... girl......
A Mexican, an Arab, and a r**... girl are in the same bar.
When the Mexican finishes his beer, he throws his glass in the air, pulls out his p**..., and shoots the glass to pieces. He says, 'In Mexico , our glasses are so cheap we don't need to drink with the same one twice.'
The Arab, obviously impressed by this, drinks his beer, throws it into the air, pulls out his AK-47, and shoots the glass to pieces. He says, 'In the Arab World, we have so much sand to make glasses that we don't need to drink with the same one twice either.'
The r**... girl, cool as a cucumber, picks up her beer, downs it in one gulp, throws the glass into the air, whips out her 45, and shoots the Mexican and the Arab. Catching her glass, setting it on the bar, and calling for a refill, she says:
'In America we have so many i**... aliens that we don't have to drink with the same ones twice.'
Three men are on a boat back to North America...
A Mexican, an American, and a Canadian are all heading back to their home countries after going on a vacation in Europe. Suddenly the boat starts to sink. The Canadian says, "The boat is too heavy, we need to get rid of some stuff." The Mexican says, "We already have too many of these in Mexico!" and he throws the tacos out of the boat. The Canadian says, "We already have too many of these in Canada!" and he throws all the maple syrup off the boat. The American says, "We already have too many of these in America!" and he throws the Mexican off the boat.
*apoligies for racism, I am not a racist person*
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
4-way car c**... reported in Mexico City.
86 confirmed dead.
Mexican, American, Polish and a Russian dog...
Four dogs -- Mexican, American, Polish, Russian -- are discussing their lives. The Mexican dog says, "the servants used to leave meat out for me, but now I have to bark for it." The American dog says, "you have servants in Mexico?" The Polish dog says, "they feed you meat?" The Russian dog says, "they let you bark?"
My friend said to me, "Whenever a World Cup game is on, let's eat something to do with that team for dinner that night."
Mexico was on, we had burritos.
Japan was on, we had sushi.
USA was on, we had burgers.
Italy was on, we had pizza.
Tuesday is England, so we're going out.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why does Mexico never get gold medals in olympics?
Because all their swimmers, runners, and high jumpers are in USA.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
why dont they have drivers ed and s**... ed on the same day in mexico?
it's too hard on the donkey
Lazy vultures
Two lazy vultures had procrastinated on flying south for the winter until the first frost hit, then they got worried. "We better catch an airplane to Mexico, lets go to the airport!" So they take off down the road, and as luck would have it, they come across two dead road-killed opossums, that had started to get nice and smelly, just like vultures like them. "What luck, we better take these with us, I heard the airlines don't offer meals on the flight anymore." So they each grab a dead opossum, tuck it under their wing, and head on to the terminal. They walk up to the ticket counter and tell they lady "We'd like two tickets to Cancun, please."
"Very well," she says, "Will you be checking any bags?"
"No," say the vultures, holding up the dead opossum carcasses, "we only have carrion."
What do you get when you mix Mexico with literature?
Tequila Mockingbird
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Mexico is now the world's fattest nation, is plagued by gun violence, and has a big problem with i**... immigrants crossing their southern border...
I guess they became Americans after all.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A woman decides to call her friend in a foreign language while waiting in line at a grocery store.
When she finishes, a racist American man gets annoyed.
The man says, "You have to speak English in God's forsaken land of America! If you want to speak Spanish, go back to Mexico!"
The woman says, "I was speaking Navajo. If you want to speak English, go back to England."
I met my grandmother in Mexico
She looked familia.
Remember when...
... the General Motors jobs were in Flint, and you couldn't drink the water in Mexico. And now...
Why does Mexico always underperform in the summer olympics?
Because everyone that can run, swim or jump is in USA.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Did you hear Mexico agreed to help Donald Trump build his wall?
They've gotta keep all those Americans out once Donald gets elected.
Sorry, super liberal grandpa told me this one on Father's day. Couldn't help but share.
There was an accident involving 2 cars in mexico
17 people were injured.
What's the most popular sports channel in Mexico?
ESPÑOL
An American, a Brit and a Mexican are sitting in a helicopter.
The Brit throws out a bag of tea, explaining to the confused others: "We have so much tea in England we can just throw it out!"
The Mexican proceeds by throwing a bag of peppers out, explaining "We have so much peppers in Mexico, we can just throw it out!"
The American proceeds to throw the Mexican out of the helicopter.
"Why did you do that?!" exclaimed the Brit.
The American turns around. "He killed my wife."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why is Texas not a part of Mexico?
Because Oklahoma s**... so much
Back in the day...
...cars were made in Flint and you couldn't drink the water in Mexico...
Where is Wall Street?
Between Mexico and the US.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
[Politics] i**... immigrants are lucky
The government is helping them escape the US
...and into mexico, where a booming ladder industry is providing plenty of jobs
Jesus walks into a bar
The barman looks up and asks "We don't serve wine here"
Jesus looks at him quizzically and goes to look for a Spanish translator because he had just immigrated from Mexico and English was not his first language.
What is the difference between a 14 year old boy in the U.S. and one in Mexico?
A 14 year old boy in the U.S. is a freshman and one in Mexico is a señor
How is Mexico going to be able to pay for the wall?
It's expensive, but I'm sure they'll get over it.
There was a major car pileup in Mexico
Luckily, no Juan was hurt.
Jose and the Game.
Jose snuck across the border to America from Mexico and wanted to go a baseball game so when he went home, he could tell his family all about it. When he got there, the game was sold out, so he decided to climb to the top of a flag pole to get a better look. When he returned home, his family was anxious to hear about his experience:
"What happened?" asked his family.
"Well, America is the nicest place in the world!!" he said. "Before the game started, all the people in the stands and all the players stood up, looked at me and said, "Jose, can you see?"
Depression in Mexico
There are been a sharp increase in depression in Mexico since Trump got into office on the platform of building a wall between the two countries.
Leading mental health experts have said that sadly many Mexicans will never get over it.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What borders stupidity?
Mexico & Canada
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
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What's the difference between church and mexico?
At church you get touched by god, in Mexico you get touched by jesus
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A young tourist was attempting to sneak a quart of tequila...
...back from Mexico when the border guard stopped him and asked what was in the bottle.
"Holy water from the shrine of the v**... Mary" replied the man.
The border guard opened the bottle, took a sip exclaimed , "This is tequila"
"My heavens!" Gasped the man. "Another miracle!"
Leon Trotsky asks a travel agent if they have any hotel rooms in Mexico.
The travel agent responded by saying that Mexico would be a very ice pick.
A man named Jose has just moved from Mexico to the US
and he wants to do something very American so he decides to go to a baseball game.
Unfortunately, the game is completely sold out. However, the cashier says there is one seat available if Jose is willing to sit atop the flag pole. He agrees.
Finding the pole, Jose climbs to the top and takes a seat.
The game is about to begin when a voice comes over the loudspeaker and says "Please rise for the National Anthem". Everyone in the stadium stands up, turns to Jose, puts their hands over their hearts, and sings
"O-OH SAY CAN YOU SEEEEE..."
Jose yells back "YES THANK YOU"
Why doesn't Mexico have an Olympic team?
Because all their good runners, jumpers and swimmers are in America
There was this really hot guy on the beach when I was in Mexico, so I brought him some Jewish bread.
He gave me a weird look, subsequently turned me down...and I don't understand *why.*
*I just wanted to challah at a Playa.*
^I'm ^sorry
What would you get if Canada had a kid with Mexico?
Juantario
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I once tried driving to Mexico to steal a couple pet dolphins.
But I was arrested for trying to enter the country for i**... porpoises.
There has been an earthquake in Mexico...
.
.
.
.
300.000 casualties. Brazil sends medical help, Germany sends food, England sends money and the USA sends 500.000 Mexicans
A friend from Mexico recently moved up to Wisconsin with me
Naturally, one of the first places we went was a cheese shop. He was being all tentative, only considering purchasing a small block of cheddar. He's never going to fit like that.
I said to him, Jesus, take the wheel.
Why didn't Jesus play hockey?
Because soccer and baseball are much more popular in Mexico.
What do you need to cause a railway accident in Mexico?
A loco-motive.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I've been very anxious about being mugged while on holiday in mexico, so I've been taking v**... to calm my nerves.
So far I haven't had any Hispanic attacks.
What do they call Samuel L. Jackson in Mexico?
Samuel El Jackson
I'm sorry
What does an Arab eat in Mexico?
Inshalladas
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How to build a wall
If Trump ever needs help with the wall to Mexico he should ask the Swedish National Football Team, they did a pretty good job.
If black panther took place in Mexico, the name of the protagonist would be..
T'Cholo
When I was visiting Mexico, I found it strange that they would keep cheese in their first aid kits.
Turns out it was just there in queso emergency.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why doesn't Mexico have an Olympic team
Because everyone who can run, jump and swim are already in America.
A huge earthquake shook Mexico
Around 3000 people died.
The world combined efforts to help Mexico during these hard times.
England gave medicine.
France sent food.
Germany made huge donations.
USA sent 3000 Mexicans to replenish the stock
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What happens when you snort 12 lines of c**... in Mexico?
You over Doce
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Mexico should stop importing c**... for a month;
then the Americans will be the ones climbing the wall...
