Mexico Border Jokes

48 mexico border jokes and hilarious mexico border puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about mexico border that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Mexico Border Short Jokes

Short mexico border jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The mexico border humour may include short mexican border jokes also.

  1. They should send Hillary Clinton to the U.S. Mexico border Since no one can get over her...
  2. Why doesn't Mexico have an olympic team? Because everyone who could jump, run, and swim have already crossed the border.
  3. Why does Mexico never wins any medals at the Olympic Games? Because everyone who runs, swims, or jump really well is already across the border.
  4. What borders on stupidity? Canada and Mexico.
    (Stolen from a German friend on FB where it's apparently making the rounds...)
  5. why aren't there Olympics in Mexico? Because anyone who can run, jump, or swim is already across the border
  6. Mexico is starting to build a wall They're worried about the Americans crossing the border when Trump is elected.
  7. An American got busted at the border for trying to smuggle two donkeys into Mexico. It was an assassination attempt.
  8. Why doesn't Mexico perform well in the Olympics? Because anyone who can swim, jump, climb, or sprint is already over the border.
  9. I brought my girlfriend to Mexico for Valentine's Day. I got arrested on the way back for snuggling her over the border.
  10. The wall Why trump wants to build a wall around the us mexico border?
    To defeat china by building a larger wall.

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Mexico Border One Liners

Which mexico border one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with mexico border? I can suggest the ones about mexican crossing the border and crossing border.

  1. What borders stupidity? Mexico & Canada
  2. What borders on stupidity? Canada and Mexico

    (German Joke)
  3. What borders on insanity? Canada and Mexico
  4. What borders obesity? Mexico and Canada
  5. Apparently, Canada has the world's thickest border... With Mexico.
  6. What borders at stupidity? Canada and Mexico.
    With kind regards from my math teacher
  7. Why did the Mexican jump the border? To get back to Mexico
  8. You know what borders on stupidity? Canada and Mexico.
  9. How big is the US-Mexico border wall going to be? It's gonna be YUGE!!!

Cheeky Mexico Border Jokes to Experience Good Cheer & Frivolity

What funny jokes about mexico border you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean canada border jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make mexico border pranks.

Two blondes were running from the cops as they had just been caught sneeking over the border into Mexico.
They dashed up to a fence and climbed over it, lights and sirens running behind them.
As they arrived on the other side, they came face to face with a long river.
One blonde said to the other. "Here I'll shine this flashlight over the water and you can walk accross the beam of light."
The other said: "What do you think I am, s**...!? I'll get halfway accross and you'll turn it off!"

Two entrepreneurs, Jack and John, decided to start a bungee-jumping business south of the border.

They went to Casa del Sol, Mexico, built a huge platform, and opened for business.
By noon the first day, they both noticed that while everyone was watching, no one was buying tickets.
Jack told John to go up and jump, so everyone could see how much fun it was, and then they would buy tickets and try it.
John jumped, almost reached the ground, and sprang back up.
Jack saw that his shirt was torn and his hair was mussed.
John came down again and sprang back up.
This time he had several bruises and his clothes were ripped to shreds.
The third time down and back up, and he had several open wounds, a broken arm, and was bruised over most of his body.
Jack quickly raised John to the platform and asked him what in the world was going on.
John replied, "I’m not sure. Do you know what 'pinata' means?"

Juan comes up to the Mexican border on his bicycle.

He’s got two large bags over his shoulders.
The guard stops him and says, "What’s in the bags?"
"Sand," answered Juan.
The guard says, "We’ll just see about that – get off the bike!"
The guard takes the bags and rips them apart, he empties them out and finds nothing in them but sand.
He detains Juan overnight and has the sand analyzed, only to discover that there is nothing but pure sand in the bags.
The guard releases Juan, puts the sand into new bags, hefts them onto the man’s shoulders, and lets him cross the border.
The next day, the same thing happens.
The guard asks, "What have you got?"
"Sand," says Juan.
The guard does his thorough examination and discovers that the bags contain nothing but sand.
He gives the sand back to Juan, and Juan crosses the border on his bicycle.
This sequence of events is repeated every day for a year.
Finally, Juan doesn’t show up one day and the guard meets him in a Cantina in Mexico.
"Hey, Buddy," says the guard, "I know you are smuggling something. It’s driving me crazy. It’s all I think about… I can’t sleep. Just between you and me, what are you smuggling?"
Juan sips his beer and says, "Bicycles."

A Mexican man sneaks across the border to watch his favorite football team play...

...and makes it all the way to the stadium. He doesn't have tickets so he finds a large pole to climb up on and jumps down into the top of the bleachers to get a bird-eye view of the game.
After the game was over and his buddies ask him how the game was back in Mexico he replies:
"I don't know why you all don't think Americans are nice. As soon as I sat down everyone turned around, looked at me, and started singing 'Jose, can you see?'"

Mexico is now the world's fattest nation, is plagued by gun violence, and has a big problem with i**... immigrants crossing their southern border...

I guess they became Americans after all.

2 Mexican brothers crossed the border and need money

(Slightly Racist - You have been warned)
Jose and Juan, 2 brothers, crossed the border to USA and had no cash. Their plan was to beg on the streets for some money. So the two brothers both got cardboard and made their own signs. Juan says "Lets split up, you go up the street, I do down, we meet here at night."
Jose agrees to the plan and heads up the street with his sign begging for money at a busy intersection. Juan feeling good about his plan goes down the street at another intersection and begs also.
By the end of the day, the 2 brothers meet where they started with all their money. Juan, still feeling good about his plan, shows his younger brother he made $40! While Juan is laughing, his younger brother pulls out $200 from his pockets.
Juan shocked ask his brother, "How did you make so much money?" His brother responded, "Read my sign." Jose's sign reads "Need $20 to go back to Mexico"
(My dad told me this joke when I was 10, I live in LA area)

Mexico was pretty livid when Donald Trump announced his plan to build a wall along the southern border of the United States...

...But once it's erected and complete, I'm sure they'll manage to get over it.

A cop pulls an i**... immigrant over near the US-Mexico border and asks "Papers?"

The immigrant responds "Scissors" and drives away

If a plane crashes on the border between Arizona and New Mexico...

where do they bury the survivors?

Jose and the Game.

Jose snuck across the border to America from Mexico and wanted to go a baseball game so when he went home, he could tell his family all about it. When he got there, the game was sold out, so he decided to climb to the top of a flag pole to get a better look. When he returned home, his family was anxious to hear about his experience:
"What happened?" asked his family.
"Well, America is the nicest place in the world!!" he said. "Before the game started, all the people in the stands and all the players stood up, looked at me and said, "Jose, can you see?"

Why isn't Mexico entered in the Olympics?

Because all their best runners, jumpers, and swimmers are across the border.

A young tourist was attempting to sneak a quart of tequila...

...back from Mexico when the border guard stopped him and asked what was in the bottle.
"Holy water from the shrine of the v**... Mary" replied the man.
The border guard opened the bottle, took a sip exclaimed , "This is tequila"
"My heavens!" Gasped the man. "Another miracle!"

Donald Trump pulls out of Paris Climate Arrangement after alleged threats to interfere with the U.S. Mexico border wall.

He heard "Climb-it" deal, and flipped out

Mexico rarely wins Olympic medals.

All Mexicans who can run, jump or swim already crossed the border.

I've been thinking of a name ever since my gf got pregnant a week ago.

I decided on Juan and hopped the border to Mexico

Hurricane Bud is expected to pass over Mexico and cross the border into the United States.

By the time it reaches us, it'll be Bud Lite.

Donald Trump figured out how to get Mexico to pay for the border wall.

He promised monthly diplomatic visits to Mexico by motorcade.

What would you call it if the US federally legalized m**..., and used the tax revenue to fund the border wall to Mexico?

Bi-partisanship at the highest level

Donald Trump decides to visit Mexico to see the progress of his border wall.

While out in the middle of the hot sun he notices a pond of water by a farm. Thirsty, after having drunk all the water he brought with him, he decided to kneel down and take a drink.
An older Mexican man approaches him and says No bebas el agua, las vacas se han cagado en ella. (Translated: Don't drink the water, the cows have crapped in it.)
Donald shouts back: Don't you know who I am. I'm Donald Trump, president of the United States of America. How dare you speak to me in that dirty language. You must speak to me in English and show me the respect I deserve!
The man responds, Use two hands, you'll get more.

They say fizzy drinks will soon disappear from the shelves in UK supermarkets thanks to Brexit.

The UK Government should do a trade deal with Mexico, I hear they're really good at getting coke across the border.