Mexicans Jokes
137 mexicans jokes and hilarious mexicans puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about mexicans that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Mexicans Short Jokes
Short mexicans jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The mexicans humour may include short mexican girl jokes also.
- A man crosses the mexican border seeking better living conditions for his family. Then his constituency calls for him to resign as a senator from Texas.
- "Jesus loves you" is a wonderful thing to hear in church. But a horrible thing to hear in a Mexican prison.
- I don't understand why some people say, "Taco Bell isn't real Mexican." It gets the job done for less than half the cost. That's about as Mexican as it gets.
- What's the difference between E.T. and a Mexican? E.T. learned English and wanted to go home.
- "Jesus loves you." A nice thing to hear in church. And a horrific thing to hear in a Mexican prison.
- There was a Mexican magician who was about to disappear on the count of three. He said "uno... dos-" and vanished. He disappeared without a tres
- I always thought Americans should say "B". Because Canadians say "Eh", and Mexicans say "Ci".
- what do you call 2 mexicans on a fire truck? Jose and Jos-B
this was always my mom's favorite joke, R.I.P. Mom - A Mexican goes to a Chinese restaurant... He sits down at his table, and notices a small bottle of black liquid on his table. He picks it up and looks at the label and says, "yes, you are."
- I feel really bad for the Mexican Olympian disqualified from weightlifting for excessive use of protein. They told him, "No whey, José."
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Mexicans One Liners
Which mexicans one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with mexicans? I can suggest the ones about and .
- Why did the Mexican take a Xanax? For hispanic attacks
- Did you ever hear about the Mexican train killer? He had locomotives
- How does a Mexican cut a pizza? With *little* *caesars*
- What do you call a Mexican guy who's car broke down? Joaquin
- Why did the Mexicans ignore the "No Trespassing" sign? It was just the two of them.
- Why did the Mexican Army only bring 5000 soldiers to the Alamo? They only had 2 vans
- How many Mexicans does it take to run a computer? Dos
- What do you call a Mexican fighting a Priest? (slightly offensive) alien vs. Predator
- What are Mexican proteins made of? Amigo-acids
- What do you call a Mexican space chicken? Apollo.
- I've started saying mucho to all of my Mexican coworkers. It means a lot to them.
- What do you call a fight between a Mexican and Jared Fogle? Alien vs Predator.
- What do a gay Mexican and a highschool nerd have in common? They both do their essays.
- What do you call a Mexican who transitions? Señor Rita
- Why couldn't the Mexican fire his bow? He didn't habenero.
Mexicans Be Like Jokes
Here is a list of funny mexicans be like jokes and even better mexicans be like puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Last night I made some fish tacos. Turns out they don't like Mexican food.
- What do you call a Mexican person who likes anime? An otaco.
- A mexican serial killer hides his victim's feet in the ground. He likes to burritos.
- How many mexicans does it take to change a light bulb? Juan.
*SPOILER* - For those who dont get it, if u say "juan" in spanish, it sounds like "one" in english. - Why do philosophers like Mexican gangs? They have a lot of essays
- I like American cola just fine, and Mexican cokes are even better! But Columbian coke is especially great!
- My Mexican employee who works on my farm doesn't like the nickname I've given him... He's my International Harvester.
- Ever seen a Canadian standoff? It's like a Mexican standoff, but instead of 2 guys with guns it's two guys who keep trying to let the other go through a narrow door way. "Oop, sorry. Oop, sorry"
- A mexican walks into a french coffee shop Barista: How would you like your coffee?
Mexican: au lait. - Interviewer: What have you planned for the future? Me: Lunch
Interviewer: Anything, like, long term, something you've put your thought into?
Me: Oh, Mexican for dinner.
Join Mexicans Jokes
Here is a list of funny join mexicans jokes and even better join mexicans puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- A blonde joins a Mexican cartel The cartel sends her to colombia to get coke and she brings Pepsi.
- My dog decided to join the Mexican Wrestling circuit. I guess it was his dream to become a Puchador.
- Our lead programmer is Mexican, she recently gave birth To a set of conjoined twins. It was a Juan to Manny join.
- Anyone else want to join my all Mexican tribute band? We are called Juan Direction.
Mexicans Leaving Jokes
Here is a list of funny mexicans leaving jokes and even better mexicans leaving puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What are Mexicans really good at doing? Leaving Mexico
Great Mexicans Jokes to Share, Laugh and Enjoy with Friends
What funny jokes about mexicans you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make mexicans pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Not everything donald trump says is s**....
The Chinese built a wall 2,000 years ago - and they still don't have any Mexicans!
So I did some research...
and Chinese people like listening to music on their phones with earbuds, black people like portable speakers, Mexicans prefer cheaper systems in their home with big speakers and white people like higher end but compact systems...
Sorry, I guess I shouldn't be discussing racial stereo types.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
U.S. Navy destroyer stops four Mexicans rowing towards Texas. The Captain gets on the loud-hailer and shouts:
Ahoy, small craft. Where are you headed?"
One of the Mexicans puts down his oar, stands up, and shouts, "g**..., we are invading the United States of
America to reclaim the territory taken by the USA during the 1800's."
The entire crew on the destroyer doubles over in laughter.
When the Captain finally catches his breath, he gets back on the loud-hailer and asks, "Just the four of you?"
The same Mexican stands up again and shouts, "No, we're the last 4. The other 20 million are already there.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
All I'm saying is the Chinese built a wall 2,000 years ago
...and they still don't have any i**... Mexicans.
What is a Mexicans favorite high school sport?
Cross country
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How many stuttering Mexicans does it take to c**... a server?
D--Dos
A man walks into a gun shop.
He looks over the guns until the cashier asks what he wants. The man couldn't decide so the cashier asked, "what are you shooting?" The man said "cans". The cashier asked, "what kind of cans?" The man took a pause, than finally said "oh you know, Americans, Mexicans, Africans."
Pixar movies over the years
What if toys had feelings?
What if bugs had feelings?
What if monsters had feelings?
What if fish had feelings?
What if superheroes had feelings?
What if cars had feelings?
What if rats had feelings?
What if robots hadd feelings?
What if boy scouts had feelings?
What if gingers had feelings?
What if feelings had feelings?
What if dinosaurs had feelings?
What if Mexicans had feelings?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A Mexican, a Black guy and a White guy are walking down the beach...
They find a bottle and the Mexican guy decides pick it up and rub it. A genie comes out of the bottle and speaks to them and grants them each one wish.
The Mexican guy goes first and says, "I wish that all my Mexican brethren and I could be transported back to our native homeland and we could all be happy there."
The genie grants his wish and p**..., the Mexican guy disappears.
Now it's the black guy's turn. He says, "I wish that all my African brothers and I could all go back to our motherland and be happy, prosperous and free."
The genie grants his wish and p**..., the Black guy disappears.
Now it's the white guy's turn.
The white guy pauses for a moment, scratches his head and says "Are you telling me that all the b**... and Mexicans are gone from America?
The genie nods his head and says yes.
The white guy makes up his mind and says, "Ok, well i'll have a Coke, thanks."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I don't understand why ...
I don't understand why Mexicans are so upset that Trump is going to build a wall.
They should just get over it.
Depression in Mexico
There are been a sharp increase in depression in Mexico since Trump got into office on the platform of building a wall between the two countries.
Leading mental health experts have said that sadly many Mexicans will never get over it.
What do you call 4 Mexicans in quick sand?
Cuatro cinco
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why can't Mexicans bow hunt?
'Cause they don't Habanero!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A U. S. Navy destroyer stops four Mexicans in a row boat rowing towards California...
The captain gets on the loud-hailer and shouts, "Ahoy, small craft. Where are you headed?"
One of the Mexicans puts down his oar, stands up, and replies, "We are invading the United States of America to reclaim the territory taken by the USA during the 1800s."
The entire crew of the destroyer doubled-over in laughter. When the captain was finally able to catch his breath, he gets back on the loud-hailer and asks, "Just the four of you?"
The same Mexican stands up again and shouts, "No, we're the last four. The rest are already there!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How many Mexicans does it take to mow the lawn?
Only Juan.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two mexicans are stranded in the desert for days....
... and they're at death's door....
They stumble on, hoping for salvation in the form of an oasis or something, they suddenly spy through the heat haze a tree off in the distance.
As they get closer, they can see that the tree is draped with s**... after s**... of bacon. There's smoked bacon, crispy bacon, life-giving juicy nearly- raw bacon, all sorts.
"Hey, Pepe" says the first hombre. "ees a bacon tree!!! We're saved!!!"
"You're right, amigo!" says Pepe.
So Pepe goes on ahead and runs up to the tree salivating at the prospect of food. But as he gets to within five feet of the tree there's the sound of machine gun fire, and he is shot down in a hail of bullets.
His friend quickly drops down on the sand, and calls across to the dying Pepe. "Pepe!! Pepe!! Que pasa hombre?"
With his dying breath Pepe calls out.... "Ugh, run,amigo, run!! ees not a Bacon Tree".......
"ees... a.... Hambush"
The Bacon Tree
Two Mexicans are stuck in the desert after crossing into the United States, wandering aimlessly and starving. They are about to just lie down and wait for death, when all of a sudden Luis says...
"Hey Pepe, do you smell what I smell? Ees bacon, I theenk."
"Si, Luis, eet sure smells like bacon. "
With renewed hope they struggle up the next sand dune, & there, in the distance, is a tree loaded with bacon.
There's raw bacon, there's fried bacon, back bacon, double smoked bacon... Every imaginable kind of cured pork.
"Pepe, Pepe, we ees saved. Ees a bacon tree."
"Luis, maybe ees a meerage? We ees in the desert don't forget."
"Pepe, since when deed you ever hear of a meerage that smell like
bacon...ees no meerage, ees a bacon tree."
And with that, Luis staggers towards the tree. He gets to within 5 metres, Pepe crawling close behind, when suddenly a machine gun opens up, and Luis drops like a wet sock. Mortally wounded, he warns Pepe with his dying breath;
"Pepe... go back man, you was right, ees not a bacon tree!"
"Luis, Luis mi amigo... what ees it? "
"Pepe.. ees not a bacon tree. Ees
Ees
Ees
Ees
Ees a ham bush...."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why do Mexicans s**... at playing Uno?
They always keep all the green cards
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two out-of-work Mexicans knock on a rich guy's door - looking for odd jobs
The rich guy feels for them, so he says, "I'll give you 100 bucks to go out back and paint my porch."
The Mexicans can't believe their luck - and agree. The rich guy gives them a few gallons of paint and some brushes.
About an hour later, they knock on the door. The guy answers, and the Mexicans tell him they are done. He says, "I can't believe you're done so fast. That should have taken at least 5 hours."
One of the Mexicans says, "We are done, Senor. But I have to tell you - that wasn't no porch. That was a Mercedes."
At a contest, I was asked to name one thing that is found in cells
Apparently 'Mexicans' was not the right answer
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Mexicans were asked what they thought of Trump's border wall. They replied, "we're very upset...
...but we'll get over it."
What do Mexicans play at their funerals?
Another Juan Bites The Dust
what do you call 4 mexicans in a sinking boat?
quatro cinqo
^im sorry
How many Mexicans does it take to replace a serviceable part of a complex machine?
Just Juan and Emmanuel.
What do you call 4 Mexicans caught in quick sand?
Quatro Sinko
How do Mexicans play basketball?
Juan on Juan.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why did only 2 Mexicans cross the border?
The sign said "No Trespassing"
(TRES-Passing)
Large tsunami hits Mexico - 300k were killed...
...Canada sends money, Brazilia sends food, USA sends 300k mexicans.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why does America use Mexicans to pick our oranges?
As we saw on Tuesday, it takes 1/2 of America to pick an Orange.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Overheard from a 14 year old: Why does Donald Trump watch the Olympics?
To see how high Mexicans can pole vault
A Mexican and a Doctor both build a house.
The houses are exactly the same and stand right next to each other.
After they are done the Mexican tells the doctor: "My house is much more valuable than your house", to which the Doctor replies: "Why should your house be more valuable? They are exactly the same."
"Isn't that obvious? My house is next to a doctors house, while yours is next to a Mexicans house"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
China has a border wall
And they have no Mexicans
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
After record breaking single day sales at Chic-Fil-a amid the same s**... controversy
today CEO of Jack in the Box Ted Fuller said he "hates Jews and Mexicans."
Donald Trump, Enrique Peña Nieto and Vladimir puttin are travelling in a helicopter for a top secret meeting when
Suddenly Vladimir Putin throws his beautiful secretary out of the helicopter.
Others:- Why did you do that?
Vladimir Putin :- too many beautiful women in our country
Then,Enrique Peña Nieto throws his tequila out
Others :- Why?
Enrique Peña Nieto :- Too much tequila in our country.
Donald Trump being anxious, throws Enrique Peña Nieto and exclaims"Too many Mexicans!"
Two mexicans are in a car. Who drives?
The police officer
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
When asked if they were emotionally disgruntled by Trump's wall, Mexicans responded..
'Meh, we'll get over it.
Did you hear about the three Mexicans who robbed a bank?
One of them was captured but the other two vanished without a tres.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
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What do you call a bunch of high Mexicans?
Baked Beans
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
New band.
I'm starting a new band with 5 homosexual Mexicans.
Juan Direction.
I heard Mexicans are pretty good at boxing
Strawberries, raspberries, blueberries, tomatoes.
A huge earthquake shook Mexico
Around 3000 people died.
The world combined efforts to help Mexico during these hard times.
England gave medicine.
France sent food.
Germany made huge donations.
USA sent 3000 Mexicans to replenish the stock
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I still don't know why people think Donald Trump's wall would never work.
China did it, and they barely have any Mexicans
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do Mexicans put under their carpet?
UNDERLAY! UNDERLAY!
I got a job at Chipotle by telling this joke during my interview.
What do Mexicans use to cut their pizza with?
Little Ceasars.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call rich Mexicans?
The Juan percent.
I see two Mexicans fighting
Call that a Juan on Juan
Mexicans
What's a Mexicans least favorite sport?
Fencing
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Once an American asked a Mexican..
"What separates dogs and Mexicans?"
The Mexican said, "A border".
What do Mexicans send their mail in?
Envelopez.
A joke that is mildly racist
How.come there were only 1800 Mexicans at the Alamo?
Because they only had two pickup trucks
What car transmission do Mexicans use?
Manuel.
What do you call two Mexicans fighting each other?
JUAN ON JUAN
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call white people pushing a car up a hill?
w**....
What do you call asian people pushing a car up a hill?
Asian power.
What do you call mexicans pushing a car up a hill?
Grand theft auto.
What do black mexicans call their friends?
Amiggas.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
This one's mainly for Mexicans and Texans.
What did Daniel Boone say to Davey Crocket when thousands of Mexicans charged at them at the Alamo?
"Davey.... are we pouring concrete today??"
what's a Mexicans favourite type of joke?
Juan liners
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two Mexicans
What do you call two Mexicans in the back of a fire truck? José and Hose B
Why don't Mexicans have BBQs?
Because the beans keep falling through the grill.
Mayonnaise
In 1912, the Titanic sank and everyone still talks about it to this day.
But only weeks after the incident, another ship fell victim to the harsh ocean. This was a large cargo ship that contains various products that were supposed to be delivered to Mexico, among them were sugar, coffee beans, but the bulk of the shipment comprised of mayonnaise. You see, Mexicans love mayonnaise. That's why when it happened on a sad day in May 5th, the whole mexican wept for the fallen sailors and the delicious products they were supposed to enjoy.
Since then, the day of mourning came to be: >!Sinko De Mayo!<
Two mexicans attempted to rob an old train for its parts
Authorities say it's a loco motive
The Democrats agreed to sign over $6 Billion for the construction of the border wall, on one condition... that Trump stay on the other side.
Trump agreed.
...but Mexicans refused.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Well, this is awkward...
A priest and a Rabbi walk into a bar. They both look left and right and to their surprise see nothing but Mexicans. After this moment of confusion, the Rabbi turns to the priest and says "You know what? I think we're in the wrong joke...."
Three Mexicans walk in to a bar...
You'd think Juan would've seen it.
What do Mexicans call a Catholic handgun?
Epistle
Stonewalls seem to be a continuous problem for minority groups.
Black people had to deal with Stonewall Jackson.
Gay people had to deal with the Stonewall riots.
Mexicans will have to deal with a Stonewall.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Some jokes on Mexicans can be funny,
but a lot of the times they cross the border.
^^^^^OC ^^^^^but ^^^^^rephrased
Why did 5000 Mexicans show up to fight at the Alamo?
They only had two cars.
What cloud based storage service do mexicans use?
JuanDrive
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call four drowning Mexicans?
Cuatro cinco
What do Mexicans call aliens?
Greengos
What do you call 5 mexicans stuck in quicksand?
Quattro sinko
Two mexicans walk into a haunted forest...
...Only Juan comes out.
There has been an earthquake in Mexico...
.
.
.
.
300.000 casualties. Brazil sends medical help, Germany sends food, England sends money and the USA sends 500.000 Mexicans
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two Mexicans are making an attempt to cross the U.S. border.
A border patrol agent spots them and yells out, "HEY, what do you think you're doing??"
One responds, "We're invading America!"
The agent says, "Just the two of you???"
"No, we're the last two. The rest are already there!"
-Props to John Cleese
What's the difference between Donald Trump and the Chupacabra?
One is a monster that scares Mexicans, the other eats their goats.
What standardized test do mexicans take?
The ESE T !!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call two Mexicans...
Q: What do you call 2 Mexicans playing basketball?
A: Juan-on-Juan
Q: What do you call 4 Mexicans standing in quicksand?
A: Quatro cinco
Q: What do you call a Mexican with a rubber toe?
A: Roberto
