Mexican Jokes

180 mexican jokes and hilarious mexican puns to laugh out loud. Read ethnic jokes about mexican that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

This is a Mexican jokes article. Enjoy the best funny Mexican jokes and laugh out loud at these hilarious Mexico jokes.

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Funniest Mexican Short Jokes

Short mexican jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The mexican humour may include short tacos jokes also.

  1. A man crosses the Mexican border seeking better living conditions for his family. Then his constituency calls for him to resign as a senator from Texas.
  2. "Jesus loves you" is a wonderful thing to hear in church. But a horrible thing to hear in a Mexican prison.
  3. Mexican and African jokes are all pretty much the same.... Once you've heard Juan, you've heard Jamal...
  4. A Black Guy, a Mexican, and a Muslim holding a Gay Chicken Walk Into a Bar Bartender says, "We don't do jokes in here."
    The chicken says, "Come on guys I know a place across the street."
  5. What is the only reason Donald Trump is watching the Olympics? So he can determine how high Mexican pole vaulters can jump.
  6. I don't understand why some people say, "Taco Bell isn't real Mexican." It gets the job done for less than half the cost. That's about as Mexican as it gets.
  7. Donald Trump's plan to build a wall might actually work. The Chinese built a huge wall, and they have almost no Mexicans in their country.
  8. Who says building a border wall won't work? The Chinese built one over 2,000 years ago and they still don't have any Mexicans.
  9. I asked my Mexican friend if he will be upset if Trump manages to build the wall. He said, Eh. I'll get over it.
  10. Yo mama's like a brick..... dirty, flat on both sides, and always getting laid by Mexicans.

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Mexican One Liners

Which mexican one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with mexican? I can suggest the ones about salsa and guacamole.

  1. What do you call a Mexican bodybuilder who runs out of protein? No Whey José.
  2. Why did the Mexican take a Xanax? For hispanic attacks
  3. Did you ever hear about the Mexican train killer? He had locomotives
  4. How does every Mexican joke start? By looking over your shoulder.
  5. Why do only 2 Mexicans cross the border at a time? Because the sign says no trespassing.
  6. Why do Mexicans always cross the border in twos? Because the sign says No Tres passing
  7. How does a Mexican cut a pizza? With *little* *caesars*
  8. My Mexican uncle takes anti-anxiety medication It's for Hispanic attacks
  9. What do you call a Mexican midget? A paragraph because he's too short to be an essay
  10. Did you hear about the Mexican train bomber? He had locomotives.
  11. What do you call a Mexican guy who's car broke down? Joaquin
  12. Why did the Mexicans ignore the "No Trespassing" sign? It was just the two of them.
  13. Why don't Mexicans cross the border in groups of three? Because it says "No Trespassing".
  14. Why did the Mexican Army only bring 5000 soldiers to the Alamo? They only had 2 vans
  15. How many Mexicans does it take to run a computer? Dos

So Mexican Jokes

Here is a list of funny so mexican jokes and even better so mexican puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Guys I think Trump's immigration policies just might work. China built a wall and they have like, no Mexicans.
  • What do you call a Mexican fighting a Priest? (slightly offensive) alien vs. Predator
  • What are Mexican proteins made of? Amigo-acids
  • What's the difference between E.T. and a Mexican? E.T. learned English and wanted to go home.
  • "Jesus loves you." A nice thing to hear in church. And a horrific thing to hear in a Mexican prison.
  • What's the name of the Mexican that loses his car? Carlos...
  • There was a Mexican magician who was about to disappear on the count of three. He said "uno... dos-" and vanished. He disappeared without a tres
  • Why does nobody play Uno with Mexicans? They always steal the green cards.
  • I always thought Americans should say "B". Because Canadians say "Eh", and Mexicans say "Ci".
  • How many Mexicans? How many Mexicans does it take to...
    Holy sh\*\* they're already done.

Why Did The Mexican Jokes

Here is a list of funny why did the mexican jokes and even better why did the mexican puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • what do you call 2 mexicans on a fire truck? Jose and Jos-B
    this was always my mom's favorite joke, R.I.P. Mom
  • Have you ever heard of the mexican train killer? He had loco motives
  • Why were there only 40,000 Mexicans at the Battle of the Alamo? They only had 2 trucks
  • Did you hear about the Mexican racist? Hey tried to join the que que que.
  • Why did the Mexican army attack the Alamo with only 2000 soldiers? they only had one pickup
  • Now that Donald Trump is actually building the wall, I hear Mexicans are depressed I'm sure they'll soon get over it
  • What do you call a Mexican space chicken? Apollo.
  • A Mexican goes to a Chinese restaurant... He sits down at his table, and notices a small bottle of black liquid on his table. He picks it up and looks at the label and says, "yes, you are."
  • I've started saying mucho to all of my Mexican coworkers. It means a lot to them.
  • I feel really bad for the Mexican Olympian disqualified from weightlifting for excessive use of protein. They told him, "No whey, José."
Mexican joke, I feel really bad for the Mexican Olympian disqualified from weightlifting for excessive use of prot

Mexican Juan Jokes

Here is a list of funny mexican juan jokes and even better mexican juan puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Black jokes and Mexican jokes are all the same... Once you've seen Juan you've seen Jamal.
  • Did you hear about the Mexican that got stabbed on a golf course? I guess someone made a hole in Juan.
  • What do you call a Mexican Jedi? Obi-Juan
  • What do you get when you shoot a Mexican golfer? A hole in Juan
  • What did the cannibal say to 2 Mexicans? I thought I'd eat both of you but I only have room for Juan
  • How many Mexicans does it take to mow the lawn? Only Juan.
  • I got in to a gun fight with a mexican at a golf club. I shot a hole in Juan.
  • a golfer stabbed a Mexican the other day.... it was a hole in Juan
  • What do Mexicans play at their funerals? Another Juan Bites The Dust
  • How many Mexicans does it take to replace a serviceable part of a complex machine? Just Juan and Emmanuel.

Mexican American Jokes

Here is a list of funny mexican american jokes and even better mexican american puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • How many Americans does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, that's a Mexican's job.
  • If Canadians say "Ay" and Mexicans say "Si"... Why don't Americans say "B"?
  • A blessing It is a blessing to hear "Jesus loves you." In an American prison, but in a Mexican prison... Oh boy.
  • How many americans does it take to replace a light bulb? One Mexican.
  • Once an American asked a Mexican.. "What separates dogs and Mexicans?"
    The Mexican said, "A border".
  • What you call a house with a Mexican and American ghost? A Juan-Ted house
  • I love dieting. I'm actually on 4 diets. Chinese, American, Italian and Mexican.
  • To all my Americans today: Happy Cinco de Mayo To all my Mexican-American friends: happy Wednesday
  • How many Americans does it take to change a light bulb One American to hire a Mexican to change the bulb and other 323.99 million to complain about outsiders stealing their jobs
  • Why doesn't Mexico ever win the Olympics? Any Mexican who can run, jump, or swim is an American.

Mexican Food Jokes

Here is a list of funny mexican food jokes and even better mexican food puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Large tsunami hits Mexico - 300k were killed... ...Canada sends money, Brazilia sends food, USA sends 300k mexicans.
  • Joke my 12 year old son made up: What do you call it when you throw Mexican food at high velocity? Fa-yeet-a
  • My local Greek restaurant just started serving tacos and burritos.... I tried it earlier today and it turns out it's plain old Greecey Mexican food.
  • What kind of food does a Mexican snowman serve? Brrrrrritos
  • Last night I made some fish tacos. Turns out they don't like Mexican food.
  • What do you call cold Mexican food? A Brrrr-rito.
    Guess what I had for breakfast. Apologies if repost.
  • Seven days without Mexican food.... Makes Juan weak.
  • What did the Japanese guy say when he tried Mexican food? Takoyaki!
  • What do you call Mexican food when it gets cold? A burrrrrrito.
  • There has been an earthquake in Mexico... .
    300.000 casualties. Brazil sends medical help, Germany sends food, England sends money and the USA sends 500.000 Mexicans
Mexican joke, There has been an earthquake in Mexico...

Experience Instant Grins & Giggles with Playful Mexican Jokes

What funny jokes about mexican you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean mexican food jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make mexican pranks.

A Mexican kid meets Donald Trump and says to him, I want to be President one day.

Trump says, Are you s**...? Are you an idiot? Out of your mind? Are you r**...?
The kid replies, You know what, I've changed my mind. Those are too many requirements.

What do you call a mexican with a rubber toe?


A rich guy hires an out of work Mexican to do some work.

The guy hands him a 5 gallon bucket of green paint and says, "Go around the side of the house, and paint my porch."
The Mexican knocks on the door a few hours later and says, "I'm finished mister - but I have to tell you, that was no porch, that was a Mercedes."

Jesus loves you.

A good thing to hear in church but a terrifying thing to hear in a mexican prison.

A Mexican, a Black guy and a White guy are walking down the beach...

They find a bottle and the Mexican guy decides pick it up and rub it. A genie comes out of the bottle and speaks to them and grants them each one wish.
The Mexican guy goes first and says, "I wish that all my Mexican brethren and I could be transported back to our native homeland and we could all be happy there."
The genie grants his wish and p**..., the Mexican guy disappears.
Now it's the black guy's turn. He says, "I wish that all my African brothers and I could all go back to our motherland and be happy, prosperous and free."
The genie grants his wish and p**..., the Black guy disappears.
Now it's the white guy's turn.
The white guy pauses for a moment, scratches his head and says "Are you telling me that all the b**... and Mexicans are gone from America?
The genie nods his head and says yes.
The white guy makes up his mind and says, "Ok, well i'll have a Coke, thanks."

You know, Mexican and b**... jokes are really starting to bore me.

Once you've heard Juan you've heard Jamal.

"Jesus loves you" can be very comforting words...

unless you hear them in a Mexican prison

What did the Mexican say when a gust of wind blew his homework out the window?

Come back essay!

What do you call a mexican protein?

Amigo Acid

Why aren't Mexicans ever indecisive?

Because if they're on the fence too long they get caught.

Some say that Mexicans are bordering on the insane...

But so what? So are Canadians.

The Mexican Magician

A Mexican magician declares that he will disappear on the count of three. He begins to count, "uno, dos..." *p**...* The magician vanished without a tres.

What do you call a Mexican who lost his car?


A Mexican with a r**... e**... walks into a wall. What part hits the wall first?

The lawnmower.

A Mexican magician tells the crowd he will disappear on the count of 3...

He says "uno... dos..." *p**...*! and disappears without a tres.

I'm Mexican

I'm not offended by taco jokes or fiesta jokes. But Immigration jokes?
They cross the line.

I once saw a Mexican magician

He pulled me on stage and said he would make me disappear by the count of three. I didn't believe. Without warning he started counting. "Uno...Dos..." and *p**...*. I was gone without a Tres.

Why did the crazy mexican c**... a train?

He had loco motives...
I'll show myself out

A mexican magician told the audience he'll disappear on the count of three. He said "Uno, dos" *p**...*

He disappeared without a tres.

I told my Mexican student to turn in his essay

He said "I ain't no snitch!".

What do you call a Mexican whose car has been stolen?


What do you call a fight between a Mexican and Jared Fogle?

Alien vs Predator.

Why did the Mexican train driver kill all of his passengers?

I'm not sure, but he must have had a loco motive.

Why didn't the Mexican go bow hunting?

Because he didn't habanero.

An Irish Mexican teenager starts a job as a builder..

Only one hour into his first job he tries to hammer a nail with a screwdriver. The boss spots this and walks over to let him know he's doing it wrong. "You've got a lot to learn young p**... Juan".

What did the Mexican say when his homework flew out the window?

Where you going essay!?

A mexican kid tells D. Trump:

I want to be President!
Trump says: are you s**...? Are you an idiot? Out of tour mind? Are you r**...?
Kid says: you know what, never mind those are too many requirements.

How many Mexicans does it take to build a...

Never mind, they're already done, and they paid for it too.

Crossing the Border

A young Mexican man decides he wants to see a bit of America. He swims across the Rio Grande and finds a college football game about to start. He doesn't have any money to get in, so he climbs a flag pole to watch the game. Later that night he swims back across the river and tells his family how friendly the Americans all were, as they all turned to him at the start of the game and asked together, "Jose, can you see?"

Did you hear about that Mexican train thief?

They say he had loco motives.

Why couldn't the Mexican be a Firefighter?

Because he didn't know the difference between Jose and Hose B.

A black guy, a white guy, and a Mexican guy were eying a h**... from across a bar.

She notices them looking at her, so she walks up to them.She says, " I want a man that"s smart. Use the words LIVER and CHEESE in one sentence. "The black guy goes " I love to eat liver and cheese. "The white guy goes " I like to cook liver and cheese. "The Mexican guy goes up to the girl and tells the guys " Liver alone, cheese mine!!"

A Mexican man was visiting America.

He wanted to go to a genuine American baseball game so that when he went home, he could tell his family all about it, but when he got there the game was sold out, so he climbed to the top of the flag pole to get a good look.
"What happened?" asked his family.
"Well, America is the nicest place in the world!" he said. "Before the game started, all the people in the stands, and all the players, stood up, looked at me and said, "Jose, can you see?"

An American, a Brit and a Mexican are sitting in a helicopter.

The Brit throws out a bag of tea, explaining to the confused others: "We have so much tea in England we can just throw it out!"
The Mexican proceeds by throwing a bag of peppers out, explaining "We have so much peppers in Mexico, we can just throw it out!"
The American proceeds to throw the Mexican out of the helicopter.
"Why did you do that?!" exclaimed the Brit.
The American turns around. "He killed my wife."

Why don't Mexicans cross the border in 3's?

No tres passing

Don't be racist, be like Mario...

He's an Italian plumber created by Japanese people who speaks English, and looks like a Mexican, and runs like a Jamaican, and jumps like a Black man, and grabs coins like a Jew...

Two r**... are admiring their firearms.

One says, I keep these around for hunting, home protection, and to defend my 2nd amendment rights. The second says, I just like shooting cans.
That's a lot of firepower just for shooting cans.
Well, there's so many of them: Mexi-cans, Afri-cans, Puerto Ri-cans...

Everyone is panicking about the stock markets....

But the 31 foot mexican ladder company I invested in is surging.

Where does a Mexican go when they feel threatened?

Hispanic Room

The i**... protesting with Mexican flags, shouting "Trump is not my President" are telling the truth.

Their president is Enrique Peña Nieto.

Trump: "Let's get that Muslim band going"

"Band? We thought you said ban"
Trump: "No way, that's harsh. Also, how's the Mexican mall going?"

Mexico's president says he will not go to the U.S. for a meeting with Trump

The wall's not even finished and it kept a Mexican out!

A Mexican magician tells his audience...

"I will disappear on the count of three."
He counts down.. "Uno... dos..."
And then he disappears, without a tres.

Has anyone played that weird Mexican carnival game where groundhogs pop out of holes and you have to smear them with avocado?

I really s**... at Guac-a-mole.

A Mexican attempts to pass the border

A border control officer catches them and says, "Papers."
The Mexican replied, "Scissors."
The border control officer replied,"d**...! Well, you're free to go!"

What is a Mexicans favorite high school sport?

Cross country


"How did things go organizing a muslim travelling band?"
"Band? Sir, i'm sorry we thought you said ban."
"Ban! That's a bit harsh isn't it? Nevermind, how are things progressing with our new Mexican mall?"

I was about to smoke w**... with a couple cute Mexican girls...

I asked them if they had papers. They immediately ran off.

Donald Trump goes to a fortune teller and asks "When am I going to die?"

The fortune teller replies: "you will die on a major Mexican holiday."
Trump asks: "Which Mexican holiday? Cinco de Mayo? Dia de los muertos?"
The fortune teller replies: "ANY day you die, Donald, will be a major Mexican holiday!"

What did one Mexican robber say to the other when they got to the "No Trespassing" sign?

"It's ok because there is only two of us."

Jesus loves you.

A beautiful sentiment to hear at church.
The stuff of nightmares in a Mexican prison.

What do a gay Mexican and a highschool nerd have in common?

They both do their essays.

Two Mexican detectives were investigating the m**... of Juan Gonzalez.

How was he killed asked one detective. With a golf gun. Replied the second detective.
A golf gun? What's a golf gun?
I don't know, but it sure made a hole in Juan

Touched by Jesus

Saying that you were touched by Jesus is a completely different story in a Mexican prison.

Today, I decided to donate all my worldly possessions and give myself up to Jesus

It's pretty hard to say no to a Mexican dude with a knife.

I was gonna smoke w**... with this Mexican girl

Until I asked her for some papers and she ran off.

Mexican joke, I was gonna smoke w**... with this Mexican girl

jokes about mexican