Mexican Jokes
179 mexican jokes and hilarious mexican puns to laugh out loud. Read ethnic jokes about mexican that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
This is a Mexican jokes article. Enjoy the best funny Mexican jokes and laugh out loud at these hilarious Mexico jokes.
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Funniest Mexican Short Jokes
Short mexican jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The mexican humour may include short salsa jokes also.
- A man crosses the Mexican border seeking better living conditions for his family. Then his constituency calls for him to resign as a senator from Texas.
- "Jesus loves you" is a wonderful thing to hear in church. But a horrible thing to hear in a Mexican prison.
- I don't understand why some people say, "Taco Bell isn't real Mexican." It gets the job done for less than half the cost. That's about as Mexican as it gets.
- What's the difference between E.T. and a Mexican? E.T. learned English and wanted to go home.
- "Jesus loves you." A nice thing to hear in church. And a horrific thing to hear in a Mexican prison.
- There was a Mexican magician who was about to disappear on the count of three. He said "uno... dos-" and vanished. He disappeared without a tres
- I always thought Americans should say "B". Because Canadians say "Eh", and Mexicans say "Ci".
- what do you call 2 mexicans on a fire truck? Jose and Jos-B
this was always my mom's favorite joke, R.I.P. Mom - A Mexican goes to a Chinese restaurant... He sits down at his table, and notices a small bottle of black liquid on his table. He picks it up and looks at the label and says, "yes, you are."
- I feel really bad for the Mexican Olympian disqualified from weightlifting for excessive use of protein. They told him, "No whey, José."
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Mexican One Liners
Which mexican one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with mexican? I can suggest the ones about guacamole and mexican food.
- Why did the Mexican take a Xanax? For hispanic attacks
- Did you ever hear about the Mexican train killer? He had locomotives
- How does a Mexican cut a pizza? With *little* *caesars*
- What do you call a Mexican guy who's car broke down? Joaquin
- Why did the Mexicans ignore the "No Trespassing" sign? It was just the two of them.
- Why did the Mexican Army only bring 5000 soldiers to the Alamo? They only had 2 vans
- How many Mexicans does it take to run a computer? Dos
- What do you call a Mexican fighting a Priest? (slightly offensive) alien vs. Predator
- What are Mexican proteins made of? Amigo-acids
- What do you call a Mexican space chicken? Apollo.
- I've started saying mucho to all of my Mexican coworkers. It means a lot to them.
- What do you call a fight between a Mexican and Jared Fogle? Alien vs Predator.
- What do a gay Mexican and a highschool nerd have in common? They both do their essays.
- What do you call a Mexican who transitions? Señor Rita
- Why couldn't the Mexican fire his bow? He didn't habenero.
Why Did The Mexican Jokes
Here is a list of funny why did the mexican jokes and even better why did the mexican puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What did one Mexican robber say to the other when they got to the "No Trespassing" sign? "It's ok because there is only two of us."
- I'm Mexican I'm not offended by taco jokes or fiesta jokes. But Immigration jokes?
They cross the line. - Why couldn't the Mexican be a Firefighter? Because he didn't know the difference between Jose and Hose B.
- Jesus loves you.
A good thing to hear in church but a terrifying thing to hear in a mexican prison. - What is an alcoholic Mexican's favorite book? Tequila Mockingbird
- Mexico's president says he will not go to the U.S. for a meeting with Trump The wall's not even finished and it kept a Mexican out!
- What is a Mexicans favorite high school sport? Cross country
- I told my Mexican student to turn in his essay He said "I ain't no snitch!".
- Where does a Mexican go when they feel threatened? Hispanic Room
- What did the Mexican say when his homework flew out the window? Where you going essay!?
So Mexican Jokes
Here is a list of funny so mexican jokes and even better so mexican puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Did you hear about the Mexican that got stabbed on a golf course? I guess someone made a hole in Juan.
- What do you call a Mexican who lost his car? Carlos.
- Everyone is panicking about the stock markets.... But the 31 foot mexican ladder company I invested in is surging.
- What do you call a Mexican Jedi? Obi-Juan
- Today, I decided to donate all my worldly possessions and give myself up to Jesus It's pretty hard to say no to a Mexican dude with a knife.
- What did the Mexican say when a gust of wind blew his homework out the window? Come back essay!
- My Mexican wife divorced me. Now she's my Latinx
- This is now the longest government shut down in US History. In lighter news, if seeing who will crack first on the border wall is prolonging it, then this shut down truly is... a Mexican stand off.
- Why did the Mexican push his wife off a cliff? Tequila.
- What does a Mexican wizard use to cast magic? A Juand
Mexican Juan Jokes
Here is a list of funny mexican juan jokes and even better mexican juan puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What do Mexicans play at their funerals? Another Juan Bites The Dust
- How many Mexicans does it take to replace a serviceable part of a complex machine? Just Juan and Emmanuel.
- What do you call a Mexican man who escapes the cops? The Juan that got away.
- How do Mexicans play basketball? Juan on Juan.
- Why didn't the Mexican ever walk into a glass door again? Because Juan does not simply walk into more doors.
- What do you call a guy thats half Mexican and half Chinese that wears only one sneaker? Juan Chu
- How do you get a Mexican across the border using only math? Carry the Juan
- When the Mexican guy forgot his ticket to the water park, the employee let him in anyway Typically I'm a stickler about this sort of thing, he remarked But I'm gonna let this Juan slide.
- What do you call the Mexican airforce? Twenty Juan Pilots
- I witnessed a Mexican Standoff the other day. It was Juan v Juan.
Mexican American Jokes
Here is a list of funny mexican american jokes and even better mexican american puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- A blessing It is a blessing to hear "Jesus loves you." In an American prison, but in a Mexican prison... Oh boy.
- What you call a house with a Mexican and American ghost? A Juan-Ted house
- I love dieting. I'm actually on 4 diets. Chinese, American, Italian and Mexican.
- To all my Americans today: Happy Cinco de Mayo To all my Mexican-American friends: happy Wednesday
- In Colorado you're American In Juarez you're a Mexican.
In the bathroom European. - My dad told me: Never say you can't. You're an AmeriCAN Not a MexiCan. My dad was a racist.
- My friend got in trouble for shooting cans... Americans, Mexicans....
- I like American cola just fine, and Mexican cokes are even better! But Columbian coke is especially great!
- if Canadians say "aye" and Mexicans say "si"... does that mean Americans say "b"?
- What did the American Army General say after the first opposing casualty in the Mexican-American War? Juan down, a million more to go.
Mexican Food Jokes
Here is a list of funny mexican food jokes and even better mexican food puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Large tsunami hits Mexico - 300k were killed... ...Canada sends money, Brazilia sends food, USA sends 300k mexicans.
- Joke my 12 year old son made up: What do you call it when you throw Mexican food at high velocity? Fa-yeet-a
- My local Greek restaurant just started serving tacos and burritos.... I tried it earlier today and it turns out it's plain old Greecey Mexican food.
- What kind of food does a Mexican snowman serve? Brrrrrritos
- Last night I made some fish tacos. Turns out they don't like Mexican food.
- What do you call cold Mexican food? A Brrrr-rito.
Guess what I had for breakfast. Apologies if repost. - Seven days without Mexican food.... Makes Juan weak.
- What did the Japanese guy say when he tried Mexican food? Takoyaki!
- What do you call Mexican food when it gets cold? A burrrrrrito.
- There has been an earthquake in Mexico... .
.
.
.
300.000 casualties. Brazil sends medical help, Germany sends food, England sends money and the USA sends 500.000 Mexicans
Experience Instant Grins & Giggles with Playful Mexican Jokes
What funny jokes about mexican you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean mexican girl jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make mexican pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A Mexican kid meets Donald Trump and says to him, I want to be President one day.
Trump says, Are you s**...? Are you an idiot? Out of your mind? Are you r**...?
The kid replies, You know what, I've changed my mind. Those are too many requirements.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call a mexican with a rubber toe?
Roberto
A rich guy hires an out of work Mexican to do some work.
The guy hands him a 5 gallon bucket of green paint and says, "Go around the side of the house, and paint my porch."
The Mexican knocks on the door a few hours later and says, "I'm finished mister - but I have to tell you, that was no porch, that was a Mercedes."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two mexicans are stranded in the desert for days....
... and they're at death's door....
They stumble on, hoping for salvation in the form of an oasis or something, they suddenly spy through the heat haze a tree off in the distance.
As they get closer, they can see that the tree is draped with s**... after s**... of bacon. There's smoked bacon, crispy bacon, life-giving juicy nearly- raw bacon, all sorts.
"Hey, Pepe" says the first hombre. "ees a bacon tree!!! We're saved!!!"
"You're right, amigo!" says Pepe.
So Pepe goes on ahead and runs up to the tree salivating at the prospect of food. But as he gets to within five feet of the tree there's the sound of machine gun fire, and he is shot down in a hail of bullets.
His friend quickly drops down on the sand, and calls across to the dying Pepe. "Pepe!! Pepe!! Que pasa hombre?"
With his dying breath Pepe calls out.... "Ugh, run,amigo, run!! ees not a Bacon Tree".......
"ees... a.... Hambush"
A Frenchman, a Mexican, and an American are on a plane...
The pilot informs them that they lost an engine and must drop some weight. The frenchman throws a bottle of wine out the window, "we have way too much of this in my country." The Mexican throws out his drugs, "we have way too many of these in my country." The American quickly tosses the Mexican out.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A Mexican, a Black guy and a White guy are walking down the beach...
They find a bottle and the Mexican guy decides pick it up and rub it. A genie comes out of the bottle and speaks to them and grants them each one wish.
The Mexican guy goes first and says, "I wish that all my Mexican brethren and I could be transported back to our native homeland and we could all be happy there."
The genie grants his wish and p**..., the Mexican guy disappears.
Now it's the black guy's turn. He says, "I wish that all my African brothers and I could all go back to our motherland and be happy, prosperous and free."
The genie grants his wish and p**..., the Black guy disappears.
Now it's the white guy's turn.
The white guy pauses for a moment, scratches his head and says "Are you telling me that all the b**... and Mexicans are gone from America?
The genie nods his head and says yes.
The white guy makes up his mind and says, "Ok, well i'll have a Coke, thanks."
A Frenchman, A Mexican, And an American are sitting in a train car together
The Mexican is eating a taco, Stops, And throws it out the window;The Frenchman asks, "Why did you do that?" The Mexican responds, "We have so many in my country, I just wanted to." So the Frenchman takes a croissant and throws it out the window, Saying, "We have too many of these." He then turns to the American and asks, "What do you have too many of in your country?" The American then throws the Mexican out the window.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How many Mexicans does it take to mow the lawn?
Only Juan.
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You know, Mexican and b**... jokes are really starting to bore me.
Once you've heard Juan you've heard Jamal.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
"Jesus loves you" can be very comforting words...
unless you hear them in a Mexican prison
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
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Czech and a Mexican
A Czechoslovakian and a Mexican go camping, while they were in the woods the Czech gets eaten by a bear. So the Mexican runs to find the park ranger and says "park ranger a bear ate my friend"
The park ranger and the Mexican find two bears, a male and a female. The park ranger asked the Mexican which ate his friend he points to the male and the ranger kills him and guts him there are no remains of the Czech man in the bear. Moral of the story never trust a Mexican when he says the Check is in the male
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call a little Mexican?
A paragraph, because he's not quite an essay.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
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What's the only major difference between Cinco de Mayo and Saint Patrick's day?
Nobody wants to pretend to be a Mexican for a day.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
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a golfer stabbed a Mexican the other day....
it was a hole in Juan
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A Mexican, an Arab, and a r**... girl......
A Mexican, an Arab, and a r**... girl are in the same bar.
When the Mexican finishes his beer, he throws his glass in the air, pulls out his p**..., and shoots the glass to pieces. He says, 'In Mexico , our glasses are so cheap we don't need to drink with the same one twice.'
The Arab, obviously impressed by this, drinks his beer, throws it into the air, pulls out his AK-47, and shoots the glass to pieces. He says, 'In the Arab World, we have so much sand to make glasses that we don't need to drink with the same one twice either.'
The r**... girl, cool as a cucumber, picks up her beer, downs it in one gulp, throws the glass into the air, whips out her 45, and shoots the Mexican and the Arab. Catching her glass, setting it on the bar, and calling for a refill, she says:
'In America we have so many i**... aliens that we don't have to drink with the same ones twice.'
Three men are on a boat back to North America...
A Mexican, an American, and a Canadian are all heading back to their home countries after going on a vacation in Europe. Suddenly the boat starts to sink. The Canadian says, "The boat is too heavy, we need to get rid of some stuff." The Mexican says, "We already have too many of these in Mexico!" and he throws the tacos out of the boat. The Canadian says, "We already have too many of these in Canada!" and he throws all the maple syrup off the boat. The American says, "We already have too many of these in America!" and he throws the Mexican off the boat.
*apoligies for racism, I am not a racist person*
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
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I got in to a gun fight with a mexican at a golf club.
I shot a hole in Juan.
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Did you hear about the Mexican racist?
Hey tried to join the que que que.
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The Bacon tree
Two Mexican brothers are lost in the desert.
They're hungry and thirsty, and have been walking for miles on end.
Suddenly, Jose yells at his brother. "Brother! Do you smell that? It smells like bacon!"
He rushes ahead, and sure enough, over the next dune, he sees it. A bacon tree. Glorious strips of crispy bacon, glistening in the sun, waiting to be eaten.
Jose runs head long at the tree, just as his brother climbs the dune behind him. Suddenly two machine guns pop out of the bacon tree and cut him down!
He turns to his brother, and with his last breath he yells out
"Brother! Is not a Bacon Tree!"
"Is..."
"Is a..."
"Is a Hambush..."
What do you call a Mexican without his car?
Carlos
My favorite joke when I was a kid..
There are four men on a small boat: an Italian, Chinese, American and Mexican.
The boat is too heavy, and begins to sink. The American yells "quick, throw out whatever you have most of in your country!"
The Italian throws out pasta.
The Chinese throws out rice.
The Mexican throws out oranges.
The American throws out the mexican.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A Mexican with a r**... e**... walks into a wall. What part hits the wall first?
The lawnmower.
Mexican word of the day: wheelchair
Theirs only 1 taco left, so wheel chair.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why did the crazy mexican c**... a train?
He had loco motives...
I'll show myself out
A border patrol officer stops a Mexican immigrant...
...on his way in to the U.S.
He says to the Mexican: "If you can make a whole sentence using the words Green, Pink and Yellow, Ill let you in with no delay"
The Mexican pauses to think for a few minutes then replies: "The phone goes Green-Green, I Pink it up and I say Yellow"
What did the Mexican firefighter name his two sons?
José and Josb
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why can't Mexicans bow hunt?
'Cause they don't Habanero!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
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An Irish Mexican teenager starts a job as a builder..
Only one hour into his first job he tries to hammer a nail with a screwdriver. The boss spots this and walks over to let him know he's doing it wrong. "You've got a lot to learn young p**... Juan".
What do you call a Mexican girl who converts to Islam?
Dora the Exploder
Crossing the Border
A young Mexican man decides he wants to see a bit of America. He swims across the Rio Grande and finds a college football game about to start. He doesn't have any money to get in, so he climbs a flag pole to watch the game. Later that night he swims back across the river and tells his family how friendly the Americans all were, as they all turned to him at the start of the game and asked together, "Jose, can you see?"
A guy walks into a Mexican restaurant and takes a seat...
A guy walks into a Mexican restaurant and takes a seat.
Before he gets to order a his food, the bowl of tortilla chips in front of him says "Hey, you're a handsome fellow."
The man tries to ignore the chips and orders a margarita.
The chips say, "Ooooh that drink is delicious. Great choice. You're a very smart man."
Starting to freak out, the guy screams to the waiter, "Hey what the heck, this bowl of chips keeps saying nice things to me!!"
Waiter says, "Don't worry about it, the tortilla chips are complimentary."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Jesus loves you.
These are beautiful words to hear in a church, and absolutely horrifying ones to hear in a Mexican prison.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Donald Trump, a white worker , and a Mexican worker are sitting at a table.
A waiter comes over carrying 10 cookies on a plate. Before the waiter even gets a chance to set the plate on the table, Donald Trump reaches over and takes 9 cookies and stuffs them in his pocket. He then leans over to the white worker and says "watch out, that r**... is looking at your cookie."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A black guy, a white guy, and a Mexican guy were eying a h**... from across a bar.
She notices them looking at her, so she walks up to them.She says, " I want a man that"s smart. Use the words LIVER and CHEESE in one sentence. "The black guy goes " I love to eat liver and cheese. "The white guy goes " I like to cook liver and cheese. "The Mexican guy goes up to the girl and tells the guys " Liver alone, cheese mine!!"
A Mexican man was visiting America.
He wanted to go to a genuine American baseball game so that when he went home, he could tell his family all about it, but when he got there the game was sold out, so he climbed to the top of the flag pole to get a good look.
"What happened?" asked his family.
"Well, America is the nicest place in the world!" he said. "Before the game started, all the people in the stands, and all the players, stood up, looked at me and said, "Jose, can you see?"
An American, a Brit and a Mexican are sitting in a helicopter.
The Brit throws out a bag of tea, explaining to the confused others: "We have so much tea in England we can just throw it out!"
The Mexican proceeds by throwing a bag of peppers out, explaining "We have so much peppers in Mexico, we can just throw it out!"
The American proceeds to throw the Mexican out of the helicopter.
"Why did you do that?!" exclaimed the Brit.
The American turns around. "He killed my wife."
The Lawyer and the Mexican
A lawyer and a Mexican live next to eachother in the most cookie-cutter neighborhood you can imagine.
One day, they're both mowing the frontlawn. The Mexican says:
"You know, my house is worth more than yours."
The lawyer is confused. He responds:
"How? Our houses are identical. Did you renovate the interior?"
"No."
"Did you modernize the kitchen or the bathroom?"
"I didn't."
"Then how can your house be worth more than mine?!", the lawyer cries.
"Well, I live next to a lawyer, and you live next to a Mexican."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two r**... are admiring their firearms.
One says, I keep these around for hunting, home protection, and to defend my 2nd amendment rights. The second says, I just like shooting cans.
That's a lot of firepower just for shooting cans.
Well, there's so many of them: Mexi-cans, Afri-cans, Puerto Ri-cans...
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The i**... protesting with Mexican flags, shouting "Trump is not my President" are telling the truth.
Their president is Enrique Peña Nieto.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
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Black jokes and Mexican jokes are all the same...
Once you've seen Juan you've seen Jamal.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call a Mexican bodybuilder who runs out of protein?
No Whey José.
Mexican self defense
A Mexican passed a Japanese man and a Korean man as they were discussing their favorite type of martial arts.
Japanese man: I practice karate, the defense arts.
Korean man: I practice Taekwondo, teaches defense and attack.
At this point the men notice the Mexican and ask him what he practices
Mexican: Judono
Men: We have heard of Judo but not Judono, what is it?
Mexican: Well, judono if I got a gun, judono if I got a knife...
I know Mexican judo
Judo know if I have a knife.
Judo know if I have a gun.
There was a mexican magician...
...Who said "On the count of three, I will vanish!"
And so he counted, "Uno... Dos..."
And then he vanished, without a tres.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Has anyone played that weird Mexican carnival game where groundhogs pop out of holes and you have to smear them with avocado?
I really s**... at Guac-a-mole.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A Mexican attempts to pass the border
A border control officer catches them and says, "Papers."
The Mexican replied, "Scissors."
The border control officer replied,"d**...! Well, you're free to go!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A Mexican lying on his death bed
The sick Mexican was lying on his death bed. He had only hours to live when suddenly he smelled tamales. He loved tamales more than anything else in the world, especially his wife's tamales.
With every last bit of energy left in his body, the sick Mexican pulled himself out of bed, across the floor, down the hall, and into the kitchen. He saw that his wife was removing a fresh batch of tamales from the stove top. As he reached for one of the freshly made tamales, his wife smacked him in with a wooden spoon.
"Leave them alone, c**..., they're for the f**...."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A Black Guy, a Mexican, and a Muslim holding a Gay Chicken Walk Into a Bar
Bartender says, "We don't do jokes in here."
The chicken says, "Come on guys I know a place across the street."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why do Mexicans s**... at playing Uno?
They always keep all the green cards
Ban?????
"How did things go organizing a muslim travelling band?"
"Band? Sir, i'm sorry we thought you said ban."
"Ban! That's a bit harsh isn't it? Nevermind, how are things progressing with our new Mexican mall?"
What book does every Mexican student read in school?
Tequila Mockingbird.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I was about to smoke w**... with a couple cute Mexican girls...
I asked them if they had papers. They immediately ran off.
Donald Trump goes to a fortune teller and asks "When am I going to die?"
The fortune teller replies: "you will die on a major Mexican holiday."
Trump asks: "Which Mexican holiday? Cinco de Mayo? Dia de los muertos?"
The fortune teller replies: "ANY day you die, Donald, will be a major Mexican holiday!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Jesus loves you.
A beautiful sentiment to hear at church.
The stuff of nightmares in a Mexican prison.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why was the Mexican prescribed Xanax?
For Hispanic attacks.
