Mexican English Jokes
21 mexican english jokes and hilarious mexican english puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about mexican english that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Mexican English Short Jokes
Short mexican english jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The mexican english humour may include short mexican spanish jokes also.
- What's the difference between E.T. and a Mexican? E.T. learned English and wanted to go home.
- How many mexicans does it take to change a light bulb? Juan.
*SPOILER* - For those who dont get it, if u say "juan" in spanish, it sounds like "one" in english. - What do a baseball and a Mexican have in common? The harder you hit it the more English you get
- What's different between mexican university and english ones? Finishing earlier on your essay is frowned upon.
- A Spanish man who doesn't speak English says to a Mexican woman, "Lady, I want to make the love with you," and she says, "Mande?" and he says, "No Monday, today."
- My Mexican cousin who can't speak a word of English just came back from Thailand all bloodied up. I asked him "que paso?" He said muy Thai
- Super Mario is the most diverse video game character. He's an Italian plumber, who was made by the Japanese, speaks English, looks like a Mexican, jumps like a black man, and grabs coins like a Jew!
- How are a Mexican and a cue ball alike? The more you hit them, the more English comes out.
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Mexican English One Liners
Which mexican english one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with mexican english? I can suggest the ones about mexican word and spanish english.
- Why did the Mexican fail English 101? He wouldn't turn in his essay
- Why did the Mexican fail English class? Because he refused to turn in his essays
Howlingly Hilarious Mexican English Jokes for All Ages to Enjoy
What funny jokes about mexican english you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean mexican american jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make mexican english pranks.
Two mexican children are learning how to count in english
The first one asks: "What was it that comes after twenty?
The second one absentmindedly replies: "What?"
To which the first one angrily responds: "Twenty, Juan!"
I'm the only one in my Mexican family that knows English...
...I always tell my siblings, "learn English so you can get a better job!" but they don't take my advice.
It's like they don't understand what I'm saying...
A mexican boy in english class...
A mexican boy in english class passed a note to his friend. The teacher saw it, and screeched "WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?"
To which he replied, "writing an esé"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I asked my Mexican GF to please speak English when we're having s**......
Now she keeps screaming "Illustrated Example! Illustrated Example!!
Two mexicans are walking in a desert....
and are extremely thirsty and hungry, and are out of food and water. As they continue on their journey to reach their homeland, Carlos says to Juan in broken english, "I don't think we es going to make it, Juan." Juan replies, "We must keep trying Carlos, we es got no choice."
As Carlos and Juan approach a big hill of sand in the desert, Carlos immediately smells bacon. "Juan!!! You smell that? Smells like.... Bacon!!!!" Carlos replies reluctantly, "How could you just, smell bacon out here? Make no sense Juan." Juan replies, "Es a bacon tree! I can tell!" Carlos replies, "No Juan, es a mirage!! Es messing with your mind!"
Juan would not listen. "Ok Carlos, your choice." Juan proceeded to climb the hill, while Carlos waited down at the bottom for him, knowing that this was way to good to be true.
As Juan disappeared from Carlos's view, Carlos heard many gunshots. Terrified and confused, he didn't know what to do. Slowly, he saw Juan climb, with gunshot wounds, over the edge of the hill. "Carlos, don't go up there!!"
"Es no bacon tree." "Es a.... Es a hambush."
A Mexican Immigrant Wants to Cross the Border
There is a guard waiting at the border, who tells hi to go home, as he is not allowed to pass. The Mexican man refuses to leave so he sits beside the guard for over 4 hours. The guard, who has given up, tells the man that if he can use the words green, pink, and yellow in a sentence, he can pass. Confident that the Immigrant doesn't know much English, they agree to these terms. The Mexican man says, Easy. I am at home. The phone goes 'green, green, green'! So I pink it up, and I say 'yellow'?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Donald Trump decides to visit Mexico to see the progress of his border wall.
While out in the middle of the hot sun he notices a pond of water by a farm. Thirsty, after having drunk all the water he brought with him, he decided to kneel down and take a drink.
An older Mexican man approaches him and says No bebas el agua, las vacas se han cagado en ella. (Translated: Don't drink the water, the cows have crapped in it.)
Donald shouts back: Don't you know who I am. I'm Donald Trump, president of the United States of America. How dare you speak to me in that dirty language. You must speak to me in English and show me the respect I deserve!
The man responds, Use two hands, you'll get more.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The final word on nutrition and health.
The final word on nutrition and health.
1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than the English.
2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than the English.
3. The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than the English.
4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than the English.
5. The Germans drink a lot of beer and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than the English.
CONCLUSION: Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The Problem with Speaking English
1. Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.
2. Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.
3. Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.
4. Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.
5. Germans drink beer and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.
CONCLUSION: Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you.