Mexican Border Jokes
71 mexican border jokes and hilarious mexican border puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about mexican border that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Mexican Border Short Jokes
Short mexican border jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The mexican border humour may include short mexico border jokes also.
- A man crosses the mexican border seeking better living conditions for his family. Then his constituency calls for him to resign as a senator from Texas.
- This is now the longest government shut down in US History. In lighter news, if seeing who will crack first on the border wall is prolonging it, then this shut down truly is... a Mexican stand off.
- I see a border patrol car drive by... So I ask my mexican co-woker if he has his visa. He looks at me cofused for a minute then says "no no I only have debit card" (true story)
- The Democrats agreed to sign over $6 Billion for the construction of the border wall, on one condition... that Trump stay on the other side. Trump agreed.
...but Mexicans refused. - I wanted to smoke a joint at the Mexican border... I wonder why everyone ran away when I asked for papers
- Did you guys hear this joke about Trumps Mexican border wall? It's hilarious. I'm still trying to get over it.
- How did the Mexicans get across the border? They went through Juan by Juan.
^Forgive ^me. - A Mexican gets arrested at the US border When the Immigration officer interrogates him, he asks, "how many people were you travelling with?"
"Only Juan", the Mexican replies. - I would tell a mexican joke.. I would tell a Mexican joke but that would be crossing the border..
- Instead of a wall on the Mexican border, Trump could build a dome over the continental U.S. They'll call it: The Freedome.
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Mexican Border One Liners
Which mexican border one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with mexican border? I can suggest the ones about mexican crossing the border and border wall.
- How do you get a Mexican across the border using only math? Carry the Juan
- What's the first place Dora explored? The mexican border.
- What do you call a Mexican in Canada? ACCOMPLISHED. They crossed two borders!
- How do you pick up Mexican Girls? Border Patrol.
- What do you call a street on the Mexican border? Wall Street
- What do you call a line of Mexicans buried across the border? A spicket fence
- Where does a Mexican shop for books? Borders
- Why did the Mexican jump the border? To get back to Mexico
- What Is A Mexican's Favorite Bookstore? Borders.
- A Mexican wont help you cross the street But he will definitely help you cross the border
- A Mexican Class Topper Recounts "Graduating was harder than crossing the border."
- What do you call a light skinned Mexican? Border white
- Whats the closest a Mexican will ever be to happiness? The border.
- What makes a Mexican saddest about the rise of ebooks? The closing of the Borders.
- Why did only 2 Mexicans cross the border? The sign said "No Trespassing"
(TRES-Passing)
Humorous Mexican Border Jokes to Bring Fun and Laughter to Your Life
What funny jokes about mexican border you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean crossed border jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make mexican border pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two blondes were running from the cops as they had just been caught sneeking over the border into Mexico.
They dashed up to a fence and climbed over it, lights and sirens running behind them.
As they arrived on the other side, they came face to face with a long river.
One blonde said to the other. "Here I'll shine this flashlight over the water and you can walk accross the beam of light."
The other said: "What do you think I am, s**...!? I'll get halfway accross and you'll turn it off!"
Two entrepreneurs, Jack and John, decided to start a bungee-jumping business south of the border.
They went to Casa del Sol, Mexico, built a huge platform, and opened for business.
By noon the first day, they both noticed that while everyone was watching, no one was buying tickets.
Jack told John to go up and jump, so everyone could see how much fun it was, and then they would buy tickets and try it.
John jumped, almost reached the ground, and sprang back up.
Jack saw that his shirt was torn and his hair was mussed.
John came down again and sprang back up.
This time he had several bruises and his clothes were ripped to shreds.
The third time down and back up, and he had several open wounds, a broken arm, and was bruised over most of his body.
Jack quickly raised John to the platform and asked him what in the world was going on.
John replied, "I’m not sure. Do you know what 'pinata' means?"
Juan comes up to the Mexican border on his bicycle.
He’s got two large bags over his shoulders.
The guard stops him and says, "What’s in the bags?"
"Sand," answered Juan.
The guard says, "We’ll just see about that – get off the bike!"
The guard takes the bags and rips them apart, he empties them out and finds nothing in them but sand.
He detains Juan overnight and has the sand analyzed, only to discover that there is nothing but pure sand in the bags.
The guard releases Juan, puts the sand into new bags, hefts them onto the man’s shoulders, and lets him cross the border.
The next day, the same thing happens.
The guard asks, "What have you got?"
"Sand," says Juan.
The guard does his thorough examination and discovers that the bags contain nothing but sand.
He gives the sand back to Juan, and Juan crosses the border on his bicycle.
This sequence of events is repeated every day for a year.
Finally, Juan doesn’t show up one day and the guard meets him in a Cantina in Mexico.
"Hey, Buddy," says the guard, "I know you are smuggling something. It’s driving me crazy. It’s all I think about… I can’t sleep. Just between you and me, what are you smuggling?"
Juan sips his beer and says, "Bicycles."
Two Mexican men have just crossed the border into the U.S.
They are now wandering through the Arizona desert. In short time, they become lost amongst the sand, praying for any sign of civilization. They spend days out there, and are on the verge of death from heat and starvation.
When suddenly, a shining oasis appears before them. The water is crystal clear and it is surrounded with lush foliage. And in the center is one specific tree. It is a majestic plant and from it's branches hang the most unexpected of things.
Bacon. Delicious, crispy bacon. Enough to feed a man for days. Without even thinking, one of the men bolts for the oasis, desperate for food and water. As he reaches the half way point, from behind the tree springs forth a man wielding a machine gun. The poor immigrant is gunned down and lays in the sand, dieing. His friend runs to him and says
> Miguel, are you alright? What happened to you?
To which the man responds, looking up at his friend with his dieing breath
> Pedro, it is not a bacon tree...it is a hambush.
A Mexican man sneaks across the border to watch his favorite football team play...
...and makes it all the way to the stadium. He doesn't have tickets so he finds a large pole to climb up on and jumps down into the top of the bleachers to get a bird-eye view of the game.
After the game was over and his buddies ask him how the game was back in Mexico he replies:
"I don't know why you all don't think Americans are nice. As soon as I sat down everyone turned around, looked at me, and started singing 'Jose, can you see?'"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call a Mexican that can't cross the border?
A Mexi*can't*
Mexican cartel drones were found near the border in a failed attempt to smuggle drugs
I guess the drones got too high and crashed
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A joke I heard some time ago
A texan man is driving over the Mexican border with his family. The border guard looks out his booth and notices the jam-packed pickup truck with trailer.
Raising an eyebrow he asks the man: "Planning a longer stay, sir?"
"We're emigrating." the man replies.
Visibly surprised the guard asks: "Why's that?"
The man responds: "Thirty years ago homosexuality was despised. Twenty years ago it became tolerated. Ten ago it was widely accepted. This year it became equal. We're leaving before it becomes mandatory."
2 Mexican brothers crossed the border and need money
(Slightly Racist - You have been warned)
Jose and Juan, 2 brothers, crossed the border to USA and had no cash. Their plan was to beg on the streets for some money. So the two brothers both got cardboard and made their own signs. Juan says "Lets split up, you go up the street, I do down, we meet here at night."
Jose agrees to the plan and heads up the street with his sign begging for money at a busy intersection. Juan feeling good about his plan goes down the street at another intersection and begs also.
By the end of the day, the 2 brothers meet where they started with all their money. Juan, still feeling good about his plan, shows his younger brother he made $40! While Juan is laughing, his younger brother pulls out $200 from his pockets.
Juan shocked ask his brother, "How did you make so much money?" His brother responded, "Read my sign." Jose's sign reads "Need $20 to go back to Mexico"
(My dad told me this joke when I was 10, I live in LA area)
A border patrol officer stops a Mexican immigrant...
...on his way in to the U.S.
He says to the Mexican: "If you can make a whole sentence using the words Green, Pink and Yellow, Ill let you in with no delay"
The Mexican pauses to think for a few minutes then replies: "The phone goes Green-Green, I Pink it up and I say Yellow"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What did the Mexican say when the other Mexican said he was jumping the border?
You ese?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Some jokes on Mexicans can be funny,
but a lot of the times they cross the border.
^^^^^OC ^^^^^but ^^^^^rephrased
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Guys we should stop saying these Mexican jokes... (To be said after few Mexican jokes)
We're crossing the border
Crossing the Border
A young Mexican man decides he wants to see a bit of America. He swims across the Rio Grande and finds a college football game about to start. He doesn't have any money to get in, so he climbs a flag pole to watch the game. Later that night he swims back across the river and tells his family how friendly the Americans all were, as they all turned to him at the start of the game and asked together, "Jose, can you see?"
Pink Floyd is planning a reunion close to the Mexican border next year
Word on the street says they're gonna play a few hits from The Wall
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Once an American asked a Mexican..
"What separates dogs and Mexicans?"
The Mexican said, "A border".
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
If a mexican kid jumps the border and a child m**... rapes them...
Would it be Alien vs Predator?
TIL about Mexican drug birds.
During the early 60s drug cartels would use South-American mallard flocks to smuggle drugs over the border.
The birds' predictable migration patterns and considerable size made them perfect for the job, until a few years later.
That's when the ducks got wise and just started smoking all the quack.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A Mexican attempts to pass the border
A border control officer catches them and says, "Papers."
The Mexican replied, "Scissors."
The border control officer replied,"d**...! Well, you're free to go!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two Mexicans are making an attempt to cross the U.S. border.
A border patrol agent spots them and yells out, "HEY, what do you think you're doing??"
One responds, "We're invading America!"
The agent says, "Just the two of you???"
"No, we're the last two. The rest are already there!"
-Props to John Cleese
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
There is a fence
A deer walks up to the fence and jumps over it.
An antelope walks up to the fence and goes under it.
A French guy walks up to the fence and surrenders.
A German guy walks up to the fence and builds a bigger gun.
An Italian walks up to the fence and starts eating pasta.
A pothead walks up to the fence, sits on it and starts smoking w**....
An American walks up to the fence, shoots the pothead, tests how sturdy the fence is, and strips it up to put it on the Mexican border.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
China has a border wall
And they have no Mexicans
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
So Donald Trump is standing on the nearly completed US-Mexican wall...
President Trump is standing on the US-Mexico border, next to his nearly completed border wall.
Alongside him is the president of Mexico who is smiling and looking genuinely pleased.
**Trump**: I have just added the final brick onto the wall so it is now complete. What are you smiling about.
**Mexican President**: I'm just really happy that you decided to build this beautiful wall.
**Trump**: Why?
**Mexican President**: Because you are in Mexico at the moment.
In the Old West
In the Old West, a man robbed a bank in El Paso and rode south. The sheriff quickly formed a posse and they captured him in a small cantina near the Mexican border, but he didn't have the money. The sheriff decided to interrogate him, but the robber only spoke Spanish, so they got the bartender to translate.
Sheriff, through translator: "Where's the money?"
Bank robber, through translator: I'll never tell you."
The sheriff puts his revolver to the bank robber's head. Now, tell me where the money is!
Bank robber (in Spanish): I hid it under the bridge south of town!
Translator: He says he's not afraid to die."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My lady friend was thinking of smuggling some Mexican Romaine into the US due to the outbreak.
It's not a terrible idea, but I'm afraid that if she's caught they'll have to Caesar at the border.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call a border crossing Mexican.
A jumping bean.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I asked my Latino friend if Mexicans are offended by all the talk of building a wall on the southern border...
He said, "Eh... we'll get over it"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Mexicans were asked what they thought of Trump's border wall. They replied, "we're very upset...
...but we'll get over it."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Donald Trump decides to visit Mexico to see the progress of his border wall.
While out in the middle of the hot sun he notices a pond of water by a farm. Thirsty, after having drunk all the water he brought with him, he decided to kneel down and take a drink.
An older Mexican man approaches him and says No bebas el agua, las vacas se han cagado en ella. (Translated: Don't drink the water, the cows have crapped in it.)
Donald shouts back: Don't you know who I am. I'm Donald Trump, president of the United States of America. How dare you speak to me in that dirty language. You must speak to me in English and show me the respect I deserve!
The man responds, Use two hands, you'll get more.
A Mexican Immigrant Wants to Cross the Border
There is a guard waiting at the border, who tells hi to go home, as he is not allowed to pass. The Mexican man refuses to leave so he sits beside the guard for over 4 hours. The guard, who has given up, tells the man that if he can use the words green, pink, and yellow in a sentence, he can pass. Confident that the Immigrant doesn't know much English, they agree to these terms. The Mexican man says, Easy. I am at home. The phone goes 'green, green, green'! So I pink it up, and I say 'yellow'?
A young Mexican man named Jose was curious about America so he snuck across the border.
He wanted to go see a baseball game so when he went home, he could tell his family all about it. When he got there, the game was sold out, so he decided to climb to the top of a flag pole to get a better look. When he returned home, his family was anxious to hear about his experience:
"What happened?" asked his family.
"Well, America is the nicest place in the world!!" he said. "Before the game started, all the people in the stands and all the players stood up, looked at me and said, "Jose, can you see?"
