Mexi Jokes
136 mexi jokes and hilarious mexi puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about mexi that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Mexi Short Jokes
Short mexi jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The mexi humour may include short burrito jokes also.
- What do you call an unsuccessful migrant trying to illegally cross the U.S. southern border? A Mexi*cant*
- Who's gonna pay for it?! MEXICO!
Who's gonna pay for it?!
MEXIC!
Who's gonna pay for it?!
MEXI!
Who's gonna pay for it?!
MEX!
Who's gonna pay for it?!
ME!!!!
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Mexi One Liners
Which mexi one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with mexi? I can suggest the ones about tortilla and taco.
- Who's Going to Pay For the Wall? Mexico
Mexic
Mexi
Mex
Me - What do you call a Mexican that can't cross the border? A Mexi*can't*
- The next X-Men movie should be called Mexi-Men
- What do you call a Hispanic walking across the street? A mexi ped
- Why did two Hispanic people drive over someone? Because they Mexi-can.
- What do you call a Mexican who goes on Tumblr? A Mexi-kin.
Hilarious Mexi Jokes for a Fun-Filled Night with Friends
What funny jokes about mexi you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make mexi pranks.
Why did only 2 Mexicans cross the border?
The sign said "No Trespassing"
(TRES-Passing)
Two mexicans are stranded in the desert for days....
... and they're at death's door....
They stumble on, hoping for salvation in the form of an oasis or something, they suddenly spy through the heat haze a tree off in the distance.
As they get closer, they can see that the tree is draped with s**... after s**... of bacon. There's smoked bacon, crispy bacon, life-giving juicy nearly- raw bacon, all sorts.
"Hey, Pepe" says the first hombre. "ees a bacon tree!!! We're saved!!!"
"You're right, amigo!" says Pepe.
So Pepe goes on ahead and runs up to the tree salivating at the prospect of food. But as he gets to within five feet of the tree there's the sound of machine gun fire, and he is shot down in a hail of bullets.
His friend quickly drops down on the sand, and calls across to the dying Pepe. "Pepe!! Pepe!! Que pasa hombre?"
With his dying breath Pepe calls out.... "Ugh, run,amigo, run!! ees not a Bacon Tree".......
"ees... a.... Hambush"
A Mexican, a Black guy and a White guy are walking down the beach...
They find a bottle and the Mexican guy decides pick it up and rub it. A genie comes out of the bottle and speaks to them and grants them each one wish.
The Mexican guy goes first and says, "I wish that all my Mexican brethren and I could be transported back to our native homeland and we could all be happy there."
The genie grants his wish and p**..., the Mexican guy disappears.
Now it's the black guy's turn. He says, "I wish that all my African brothers and I could all go back to our motherland and be happy, prosperous and free."
The genie grants his wish and p**..., the Black guy disappears.
Now it's the white guy's turn.
The white guy pauses for a moment, scratches his head and says "Are you telling me that all the b**... and Mexicans are gone from America?
The genie nods his head and says yes.
The white guy makes up his mind and says, "Ok, well i'll have a Coke, thanks."
Why did the Mexican throw his wife into the river?
Tequila.
Why does Mexico never get any Olympic medals?
Because any Mexican who can run, jump, or swim is in America already
How many Mexicans does it take to mow the lawn?
Only Juan.
You know, Mexican and b**... jokes are really starting to bore me.
Once you've heard Juan you've heard Jamal.
How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Just Juan.
Why are Mexicans bad at UNO?
They steal all the green cards.
Why don't Mexicans cross the border in groups of three?
Because it says "No Trespassing".
What did the Mexican say when a gust of wind blew his homework out the window?
Come back essay!
How many Mexicans do you need working in the kitchen?
Just Juan.
Two Mexicans were walking through the desert...
After days without food or water, one of them spot a tree on the horizon.
"Look ese" one of them says. "Is a bacon tree!"
The other Mexican becomes excited, and starts running towards the tree. When he is only a few yards away, a hail of bullets hit him, and he falls to the ground. With his last breath he shouts to his friend.
"Run ese, is no bacon tree. Is a ham-bush"
A Mexican, an Arab, and a r**... girl......
A Mexican, an Arab, and a r**... girl are in the same bar.
When the Mexican finishes his beer, he throws his glass in the air, pulls out his p**..., and shoots the glass to pieces. He says, 'In Mexico , our glasses are so cheap we don't need to drink with the same one twice.'
The Arab, obviously impressed by this, drinks his beer, throws it into the air, pulls out his AK-47, and shoots the glass to pieces. He says, 'In the Arab World, we have so much sand to make glasses that we don't need to drink with the same one twice either.'
The r**... girl, cool as a cucumber, picks up her beer, downs it in one gulp, throws the glass into the air, whips out her 45, and shoots the Mexican and the Arab. Catching her glass, setting it on the bar, and calling for a refill, she says:
'In America we have so many i**... aliens that we don't have to drink with the same ones twice.'
How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a light bulb?
...oh, wait. They're done
Why did the Mexican army attack the Alamo with only 2000 soldiers?
they only had one pickup
How do Mexicans play basketball?
Juan on Juan.
Why did the Mexican push his wife off a cliff?
Tequila.
Why doesn't Mexico have an olympic team?
Because everyone who could jump, run, and swim have already crossed the border.
Why did the Mexican Army only bring 5000 soldiers to the Alamo?
They only had 2 vans
Why aren't Mexicans ever indecisive?
Because if they're on the fence too long they get caught.
How many Mexicans does it take to replace a serviceable part of a complex machine?
Just Juan and Emmanuel.
A mexican boy with the desire to be white
A little Mexican boy goes into the kitchen where his mom is baking. He puts his hand in the flour and wipes it all over his face.
He says, "Mom, look, I'm a white boy!" His mom slaps him in the face and says, "Go show your father."
He goes to his dad in the living room and says, "Look Dad, I'm a white boy." His dad slaps him hard in the face and says, "Go show your grandmother."
The boy goes into his grandmother's room and say, "Mira la Abuela, I'm a white boy." His grandmother slaps him in the face and sends him back to his mother.
His mother says, "See, did you learn anything from that?" To which the boy replies, "Sure did! I have only been white for five minutes and I already hate you Mexicans!"
What does a Mexican wizard use to cast magic?
A Juand
Some say that Mexicans are bordering on the insane...
But so what? So are Canadians.
A Mexican Joke
A Mexican man finds a much needed job and asks the owner to hire him. The owner says he'll hire him ONLY if he can come up with a sentence using 3 words of his choice. The words are Green, Pink and Yellow. So the Mexican thinks for a second then replies (read in a Spanish accent) the phone goes Green Green, so I Pink it up and say Yellow?
Jajaja
The Mexican Magician
A Mexican magician declares that he will disappear on the count of three. He begins to count, "uno, dos..." *p**...* The magician vanished without a tres.
How do mexicans cut their pizza?
With Little Cesars
A Mexican with a r**... e**... walks into a wall. What part hits the wall first?
The lawnmower.
Mexican word of the day: wheelchair
Theirs only 1 taco left, so wheel chair.
A Mexican goes to a Chinese restaurant...
He sits down at his table, and notices a small bottle of black liquid on his table. He picks it up and looks at the label and says, "yes, you are."
A Mexican magician tells the crowd he will disappear on the count of 3...
He says "uno... dos..." *p**...*! and disappears without a tres.
I'm Mexican
I'm not offended by taco jokes or fiesta jokes. But Immigration jokes?
They cross the line.
I once saw a Mexican magician
He pulled me on stage and said he would make me disappear by the count of three. I didn't believe. Without warning he started counting. "Uno...Dos..." and *p**...*. I was gone without a Tres.
What did the mexican do when he lost his car in the parking lot?
He pressed hispanic button
Why did the Mexican put hot sauce on his taco?
Por flavor
Why did the Mexican guy rob a train?
He had a loco motive.
A mexican magician told the audience he'll disappear on the count of three. He said "Uno, dos" *p**...*
He disappeared without a tres.
What did the Mexican firefighter name his two sons?
José and Josb
What are Mexican hackers called?
BanDDoS
Why can't Mexicans bow hunt?
'Cause they don't Habanero!
Why did the Mexican fail English 101?
He wouldn't turn in his essay
Why did the Mexican train driver kill all of his passengers?
I'm not sure, but he must have had a loco motive.
A Mexican and a Doctor both build a house.
The houses are exactly the same and stand right next to each other.
After they are done the Mexican tells the doctor: "My house is much more valuable than your house", to which the Doctor replies: "Why should your house be more valuable? They are exactly the same."
"Isn't that obvious? My house is next to a doctors house, while yours is next to a Mexicans house"
Why didn't the Mexican go bow hunting?
Because he didn't habanero.
What did the Mexican say when his homework flew out the window?
Where you going essay!?
A mexican kid tells D. Trump:
I want to be President!
Trump says: are you s**...? Are you an idiot? Out of tour mind? Are you r**...?
Kid says: you know what, never mind those are too many requirements.
How many Mexicans does it take to build a...
Never mind, they're already done, and they paid for it too.
What do Mexicans play at their funerals?
Another Juan Bites The Dust
A Mexican performs a magic trick.
He tells the audience he'll disappear on the count of 3. He says, "uno, dos..." and then *p**...* … he disappeared without a tres!
in mexico, we don't say "I love you"
cause we dont speak english.
My Mexican friend was freaking out, but
I couldn't understand his panic.
Why do Mexicans always cross the border in twos?
Because the sign says No Tres passing
What did the mexican fireman name his 2 children?
Jose and Hose B
How many Mexicans does it take to run a computer?
Dos
Why couldn't the Mexican be a Firefighter?
Because he didn't know the difference between Jose and Hose B.
Mexico was pretty livid when Donald Trump announced his plan to build a wall along the southern border of the United States...
...But once it's erected and complete, I'm sure they'll manage to get over it.
A Mexican man was visiting America.
He wanted to go to a genuine American baseball game so that when he went home, he could tell his family all about it, but when he got there the game was sold out, so he climbed to the top of the flag pole to get a good look.
"What happened?" asked his family.
"Well, America is the nicest place in the world!" he said. "Before the game started, all the people in the stands, and all the players, stood up, looked at me and said, "Jose, can you see?"
Why don't Mexicans cross the border in 3's?
No tres passing
Where does a Mexican go when they feel threatened?
Hispanic Room
Why doesn't Mexico have a good Olympic team?
Because everyone who is good at running, jumping, and swimming have already made it into the U.S.
Why did the Mexicans ignore the "No Trespassing" sign?
It was just the two of them.
Why cant a Mexican man sleep with three women at once?
Fear of over dos
Mexican self defense
A Mexican passed a Japanese man and a Korean man as they were discussing their favorite type of martial arts.
Japanese man: I practice karate, the defense arts.
Korean man: I practice Taekwondo, teaches defense and attack.
At this point the men notice the Mexican and ask him what he practices
Mexican: Judono
Men: We have heard of Judo but not Judono, what is it?
Mexican: Well, judono if I got a gun, judono if I got a knife...
I know Mexican judo
Judo know if I have a knife.
Judo know if I have a gun.
A Mexican magician tells his audience...
"I will disappear on the count of three."
He counts down.. "Uno... dos..."
And then he disappears, without a tres.
How did the mexican girl get pregnant?
The teacher told her to make an essay.
There was a mexican magician...
...Who said "On the count of three, I will vanish!"
And so he counted, "Uno... Dos..."
And then he vanished, without a tres.
Why did the Mexican take v**...?
For Hispanic attacks
A Mexican attempts to pass the border
A border control officer catches them and says, "Papers."
The Mexican replied, "Scissors."
The border control officer replied,"d**...! Well, you're free to go!"
A Mexican magician tells a crowd he's going to disappear on the count of three...
He begins the countdown. "Uno, dos..." then, p**...! He disappeared without a tres.
A Mexican lying on his death bed
The sick Mexican was lying on his death bed. He had only hours to live when suddenly he smelled tamales. He loved tamales more than anything else in the world, especially his wife's tamales.
With every last bit of energy left in his body, the sick Mexican pulled himself out of bed, across the floor, down the hall, and into the kitchen. He saw that his wife was removing a fresh batch of tamales from the stove top. As he reached for one of the freshly made tamales, his wife smacked him in with a wooden spoon.
"Leave them alone, c**..., they're for the f**...."
What is a Mexicans favorite high school sport?
Cross country
Why do Mexicans s**... at playing Uno?
They always keep all the green cards
Why are there so many Mexican jokes but no black jokes?
Once you know Juan, you know Jamal
A Mexican boy meets Donald Trump
The Mexican boy says "One day, I'm going to be President of the United States!"
Donald Trump replied "Are you crazy?" "Are you r**...?" "Are you out of your mind?"
The Mexican boy pauses for a second and says "That's too many requirements for being President."
A Mexican magician once counted...
Uno, dos and vanished without a tres.
Why did the Mexican take a Xanax?
For hispanic attacks
What did one Mexican robber say to the other when they got to the "No Trespassing" sign?
"It's ok because there is only two of us."
What's the name of the Mexican that loses his car?
Carlos...
A Mexican magician said he was going to do a magic trick.
"Uno, dos..." *p**...* he disappeared without a tres.
A Mexican magician came up to me and said "I can disappear in 3 seconds"
"uno"
"dos"
...
he disappeared without a tres.
