The Best 19 Metro Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Metro jokes. There are some metro hideout jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these metro metropolis puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Metro Jokes and Puns

Metroid and Zelda walk into a bar

The bartender says that's not their name

A terrorist had two cases at home...

he stuffed one of them with explosives and headed to the metro. Once inside a wagon he waited until the doors were closed and shouted "Infidels!! now you will die!". Fortunately, that was not the case.

What do the Washington Metro system and the Little Mermaid have in common?

They're both under DC.

Metro joke, What do the Washington Metro system and the Little Mermaid have in common?

What do you call a dwarf who regularly rides the Paris Metro?

A Metrognome.

What do you call a well dressed dwarf that keeps perfect time?

A Metro Gnome


Which kind of sharply dressed, tiny dwarves make the best drummers?

metro gnomes

A friend of mine used to brag about picking up hundreds of women a day.

And then METRO laid him off.

Metro joke, A friend of mine used to brag about picking up hundreds of women a day.

A guy walks into a car part store...

He says to the man behind the counter, "I need a gas cap for a Geo Metro."

The guy behind the counter thinks for a second and then says, "I think that's a fair trade."

I saw a garden elf

On the subway today muttering to himself click.... click.... click.... click....

He was a metro gnome.

Metro: Exodus is the 3rd game in the Metro series.

No wonder its not releasing on Steam.

Why aren't there metro systems in the countryside?

There are already enough terrains.

You can explore metro hilton reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean metro underground dad jokes. There are also metro puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


OC: what do you call a couple making out on a Subway?

Metro sexuals

So I confessed to my parents that I like trains

I told them I was Metro Sexual

Women are hypocrites

You can't want a man with a big crotch AND complain he's taking up space in the metro

The Metro Church of Christ published a circular

The circular says: Bored? Try a missionary position.

I just saw a Lilliputian wearing a hijab on the metro.

Someone ticked me on my shoulder and said i could make a wish. 'Please don't blow up' i wished.

Metro joke, I just saw a Lilliputian wearing a hijab on the metro.

What do you call a bisexual elf who's always on beat?

A metro gnome

The metropolitan police have received information that 1 in 3 bottles of Heinz ketchup may be poisonous...

They say the sauce is unreliable...

3 Muslims walk into an airport and a metro station in Brussels, what happens?

216 virgins.


Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the metro commuter jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working metro underpass piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes