Metric System Jokes
72 metric system jokes and hilarious metric system puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about metric system that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Metric System Short Jokes
Short metric system jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The metric system humour may include short metric jokes also.
- Why will the American people never convert to the metric system? Because they'll never accept a foreign ruler.
- I finally learned how to convert units to the metric system! It's a real 1.61kilometers6.35kilograms for me.
- Why won't the US change over to the Metric system? Because we'd rather die on our feet than live on your 30.48 centimeters.
- There are two types of countries, Those that use the metric system and those that have put a man on the moon.
- My friend wanted me to meet someone so I could learn about the metric system. I said I didn't want to meter.
- Studies have shown that American youth has already started using the metric system Nowadays you can even find students from various schools in America using 9mm
- It's amazing how popular Instagram is in America. Didn't think they liked the metric system.
- There are two kinds of countries Those who use the metric system, and those who have their flag on the moon.
- To all of you who say I'm "obsessed with the metric system" Don't judge me until you've walked 1609 metres in my shoes.
- Before you judge somebody who doesn't use the metric system... You should walk 1.609344 kilometers in their shoes.
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Metric System One Liners
Which metric system one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with metric system? I can suggest the ones about weights and measures and standard time.
- Americans do use the metric system... Because they use 9mms at school.
- Down with the metric system No more foreign rulers!
- Why won't the U.S. switch to the metric system? There would be mass confusion
- You give Americans an inch... And they'll invent their own metric system.
- An American lost a lot of weight When he switched to metric system
- Why don't podiatrist use the metric system? Because they get paid by the foot.
- Imagine the US switched to the metric system. Everyone would be kilogramming your mom.
- Why don't anarchists accept the metric system? They refuse to have liters.
- The USA is changing to the metric system... Inch by inch
- How did Europe feel after switching to the metric system? Defeeted
- How are the British taking to the Metric System? Inch by inch
- I wish I was the Metric System.... Because I really wanna km/s.
- I love the metric system. It's the best by an absolute 1.6km
- I know of someone who uses the metric system I really want to metre
- Why does North Korea use the metric system? How else will they have a Supreme Liter?
Metric System Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about metric system you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean meter jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make metric system pranks.
Metric system.
If God wanted America to use the metric system, why did he give us 2 feet and not 2 meters?
What do you call a Persian monarch who doesn't understand the metric system?
Miley Cyrus
School in US would be 10 times easier if we use metric system, 12 times harder if we don't.
Do people who use the metric system have meter sales?
You know why matter is fond of using the metric system?
Because a lot of it is Pro-ton
What do the metric system and Oscar Pistorius have in common?
No feet.
A recent survey revealed that computer science majors prefer the metric system.
They're pro-grams.
I heard the United States is slowly moving towards the metric system...
They're getting closer inch by inch
What do you rate the metric system?
I give it a 10 out of 10.
I hate the Imperial System; it's so confusing! I will always use Metric…
Every inch of the way!
Metric system isn't popular in the United States?
Nonsense, just look how popular are two-liter bottles and nine-millimeter bullets
Why won't Americans switch to the metric system?
They like to stick to their guns.
If the US switched from the standard measurement system to metric overnight,
there would be mass confusion.
My girlfriend is happy the metric system was invented
Otherwise I'd have never meter
What's type of boat does the metric system hate?
Galleons
America could never switch to the metric system.
Kilometers Davis, how does that sound?
It always makes me smile when people suggest switching to the metric system.
Or should it rather make me skilometer?
Alligators can grow up to 15 metres...
The joke doesn't work with the metric system...
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A girl asked me if I had a f**.... I said no.
I use the metric system.
I'm wondering why everyone doesn't use the metric system
since that 15/16 of the world's population uses it.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why doesn't the US use the metric system?
Because they can't stand foreign rulers.
21 Savage will have to change his name to comply with the metric system
53.34 Savage sounds fitting.
There are 2 types of country
One is to use the metric system, and the one lost wars against some rice farmers
What would it take to get America to switch to the metric system?
The right liter ship
We Americans know how to embrace the metric system
I'm an American. When I was a kid, my Dad told me, "The metric system is gonna be big. Support it and use it - the whole nine yards - every inch of the way."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
All of my European friends tell me I have a f**....
I tell them, I'll never understand the metric system.
British people like to make fun of Americans for not using the metric system.
But I've never heard of a single British person walking into a pub and ordering a half liter…
People really need to start calling out US imperialism.
I can't believe they haven't switched to the metric system yet.
My online gf is teaching me the metric system on our first real date…
I can't wait to metre
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
You know what they call a f**... in Paris?
They got the metric system, they wouldn't know what the h**... a foot is.
Americans will never switch to the metric system
It keeps getting struck down by the Supreme Quart.
I think I cracked the overweight problem
# I think I cracked the overweight problem
Last week I weighed 150 pounds, I felt so miserable and was loosing all hope for my future. I couldn't think of a way to get over the shame. Then it struck me and I figured out the ultimate way to get it over with. I immediately did what I had to do, I ordered a new weighing scale from Amazon. I was waiting this entire week for it to arrive. It finally arrived today. I just weighed myself, it's 69 now. I'm so proud of myself and the metric system.