Metres Jokes

Funniest Metres Short Jokes

Short metres jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The metres humour may include short kilometers jokes also.

1. The Speed of Light is 3*10^8 metres per second. What then is the Speed of Darkness? 100 metres over 9.58 seconds.
2. To all of you who say I'm "obsessed with the metric system" Don't judge me until you've walked 1609 metres in my shoes.
3. A programming genius named Sewter Built a limerick-writing computer
   The metre was fine
   And the rhymes quite divine
   But for some reason it always got the last line wrong
4. I come from a mixed race family... My father prefers the 100 metres...and my mother is Pakistani.
5. My online gf is teaching me the metric system on our first real date… I can't wait to metre
6. I saw a man 3 foot 3 outside my house looking for my utilities readings Turns out he was the metre man
7. A friend of mine called me and said, Come out tonight, and I'll show you a good time. Later, he ran the 100 metres in less than 12 seconds.
8. We don't need to cancel the World Cup because of Covid-19 Because soccer players never get within 2 metres of each other anyway.
9. Have you heard they have slashed production of many office supply items. Especially metre rulers, they won't be making them any longer.
10. 100 Metres Final Gatlin beats Bolt in the 100 metres final. All that buildup for 9.92 seconds and disappointment.
    Now I know how my girlfriend feels.

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Metres One Liners

Which metres one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with metres? I can suggest the ones about centimeters and meter.

1. I just got a new personal best in the 100 metre sprint! 73 metres.
2. I saw a snake that was 3.14 metres long I suppose it was a π thon
3. I'm really good at fighting.... I won my last fight by 100 metres
4. I know of someone who uses the metric system I really want to metre
5. Where do you take a girl who's 100cm tall on a date? You metre in the park
6. Alligators can grow up to 15 metres... The joke doesn't work with the metric system...
7. What would you use if you wanted to launch a 90kg projectile over 300 metres? Trebuchet.

Unearthly Funniest Metres Jokes to Tickle Your Sides

What funny jokes about metres you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean litres jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make metres pranks.