Methodists Jokes
5 methodists jokes and hilarious methodists puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about methodists that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Happy Methodists Jokes for a Lighthearted Night with Friends
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⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call a religious drug addict?
A crystal methodist.
the case for the lost bicycle
A Methodist preacher and a Baptist preacher live in a small southern town. Every day, they pass each other on their bycycles as they ride to their respective churches. One day, the Methodist notices the Baptist walking.
He says "Brother, where is your bicycle?"
"My heart is heavy, for I fear that a member of my congregation has stolen it" replied the Baptist.
"That's horrible." Thinking for a moment, the Methodist has an idea. "I know how we might get your bike back. This Sunday, you should preach the ten commandments. When you get to thou shalt not steal, really bear down on it. Maybe the theif will feel guilty and return your bike."
"That's a great idea, I'll try it!"
Sure enough, the following Monday, the Methodist preacher sees the Baptist Preacher riding his bike.
"I see my plan worked" said the Methodist.
"Well, not exactly" replied the Baptist. "I did like you said, and gave a real fire and brimstone sermon on the ten commandments. However, when I got to thou shalt no commit adultery, I remembered where I left my bike."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call a tweaker (m**... addict) who goes to church?
A Crystal Methodist.
What's the most popular religion for addicts?
the Crystal Methodists
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Saw a tweeker with a cross tattoo
Must be a Crystal Methodist.
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