The Best 43 Meter Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Meter jokes. There are some meter kilometre jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these meter milli puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Meter Jokes and Puns

Is it bad that I hate certain races...?

Because the hundred meter dash really irks me.

How does Santa know if he lands on a Jewish house?

There's a parking meter on the roof.

Jewish house on Christmas

You know if a house is Jewish on Christmas if there's a parking meter on the roof.

Meter joke, Jewish house on Christmas

Einstein, Newton and Pascal are playing hide and seek...

Einstein is seeking, so Pascal runs to go hide. Newton stays where he is and draws a 1 meter by 1 meter square in the dirt and stands in the middle of it. Einstein turns around and immediately spots Newton. "Newton!" he exclaims "I found you!"

Newton smiles and replies "You didn't find me, you found a Newton over a square meter. You found Pascal!"

What does a Jew do to make them love Christmas?

Install a parking meter on the roof.


scientific joke

Scientists were playing hide and seek. Einstein was seeker.

Amongst the other scientists, Newton did not hide and stood in a 1 meter square.

Einstein: I found you Newton, I-spy

Newton: I am not Newton, as I am standing in 1 mtr square, I am newton per meter square: I am Pascal

!@#$%^&*()

Einstein, Newton & Pascal are playing hide and seek

Einstein starts counting "1...2...3..." and Pascal immediately runs away to hide. Instead of hiding Newton knees down and draws a square of one meter side length. Then he steps inside of it. Einstein finishes counting and turns around. He instantly yells "Newton I have found you!" But Newton replies: "No, what you see is one Newton over one square meter - so what you have found is one Pascal."

Meter joke, Einstein, Newton & Pascal are playing hide and seek

Nerd joke.

Einstein, Newton and Pascal are playing a rousing game of hide and seek. Einstein begins to count to ten. Pascal runs and hides. Newton draws a one meter by one meter square in the ground in front of Einstein then stands in the middle of it. Einstein reaches ten, uncovers his eyes, and exclaims Newton! I found you! You're it! Newton replies You didn't find me. You found a Newton over a square meter. You found Pascal!

Is it bad to hate a certain race?

Because I despise the 100 meter

Newton, Einstein and Pascal are playing hide and seek...

Einstein is it and starts counting. Pascal immediately runs off and hides. Newton just stands there and draws a 1 meter by 1 meter square and sits there waiting for Einstein to finish counting. When Einstein finishes counting, he immediately sees Newton, exclaiming, "You're it!" Newton only smiles and says, "You didn't find me, you found a Newton over a square meter. You found Pascal!"

How do the French Train for War?

The 100 Meter Sprint

You can explore meter measurement reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean meter kilogram dad jokes. There are also meter puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


100m Dash

A girl says to her friend "The last time I had sex was like the 100 meter dash"

Her friend says "What, over in 6 seconds?"

"No, with 8 black men and a gun."

What do you call it when ISIS soldiers run for cover?

100 meter Daesh

Limericks by Jenny

There was a young woman named Jenny

Whose limericks were not worth a penny.

Oh, the rhyme was all right,

And the meter was tight,

But whenever she tried to write any,

She always wrote one line too many!

What's a dinosaur's favourite poetic meter?

Ptero-Dactyls

Three econometricians went out hunting and came across a large deer.

The first econometrician fired, but missed by one meter to the left. The second econometrician fire, but missed by one meter to the right. The third econometrician didn't fire, but shouted in triumph, "We got it! We got it!"

Meter joke, Three econometricians went out hunting and came across a large deer.

Newton, Einstein and Pascal are playing hide and seek

While Einstein is counting down from 100, Pascal runs and hides. Newton stands in pain view, and carefully measures out a meter square, then stands in it.

When Einstein turns around, he exclaims "Newton you're supposed to hide so I can't find you" . Newton replies "you found a Newton over a square meter, you found a Pascal"

A 3.14 meter long snake !

What do you call a 3.14 meter long snake ?

- a "Py"thon

What do you call a 43 kilometre long snake ?

- a marathon !

My parents are mixed race...

Dad prefers the 100 meter, but Mom is a real fan of the marathon.


What do you call several blonde hair blue-eyed men doing the 100 meter dash?

The superior race

This is a Science Joke: Boyle, Pascal and Newton wanted to play Hide and Seek

So Boyle closed his eyes and started counting, Pascal went to hide, and Newton just stood there and drew a square with a side of 1 meter.

When Boyle opened his eyes, he found Newton, and said "Newton I found you".

To which Newton Replied: "No I'm not Newton, I'm Pascal, Because Pa=N/m^2 "

Einstein, Newton, and Pascal are playing hide and seek.

Einstein, the seeker, turns around and begins his count to 50. Pascal immediately runs off. Newton, however, takes a marker and draws a meter-by-meter square on the ground. When Einstein finishes his count, he turns around and sees Newton standing in his square. When Einstein exclaims that he found Newton, Newton responds with, "No, one Newton over a square meter is a pascal!"

Three statisticians go out hunting...

and come across a large deer.
The first statistician fires, but misses by a meter to the left.
The second statistician fires, but also misses, this time by a meter to the right.
The third statistician doesn't fire, but starts shouting in triumph "We got it! We got it!"

Einstein, Newton and Pascal decide to play hide and seek.

Einstein is it, closes his eyes, counts to 10 then opens them.

Pascal is no where to be seen. Newton is sitting right in front of Einstein, with a piece of chalk in his hand. He's sitting in a square drawn on the ground, a meter to a side.

Einstein says Newton, you're terrible, I've found you! Newton says No no, Einy. You've found one Newton per square meter. You've found Pascal!

I am totally not a racist but...

Compared to all the others types of races, I think the 400 meter hurdles present the most barriers for track athletes.

Is it OK to hate certain races?

Try as I might I just can't get myself to like the 200 meter dash.

A doctor, a lawyer and a statistician go hunting.

After a while they spot a deer. The doctor shoots first missing the shot by a meter to the left. The lawyer proceeds to shoot and misses the shot by a meter to the right.

That's when the statistician throws his gun to the ground, start jumping and cheers "Yaaaayy, we hit it!!!!"

I took my old computer to a computer repair shop

I asked the shop owner "My computer is too slow. What can I do ?"

Shop owner inspected the computer and said "It needs some hardware acceleration"

Me: How much acceleration would it need ?

Shop owner: 9.8 meter per second squared.

Einstein, Newton, and Pascal are playing hide and seek.

Einstein, Newton, and Pascal are playing hide and seek, with Einstein seeking. As he counts down, Pascal goes and hides in the bushes but Newton stands in front of him, takes out a piece of chalk, and draws a square around himself on the ground. When Einstein reaches 0, he looks up and sees Newton and declares, "I've found Newton!"

Newton replies, "No you haven't. You've found one Newton over a square meter. You've found Pascal!"

What do they use to track Olympic swimmers' speed?

A speedo meter.

The Gryffindor trio went for a roadtrip.

Halfway there, Harry realised him being the driver forgot to check the meter.

"What were you thinking?", Ron & Hermione exclaimed.

*"Expecto Petroleum?"*

Einstein, Newton, and Pascal decide to play hide-and-seek.

Einstein is "It," closes his eyes, counts to 10, and then opens them. Pascal is nowhere to be seen.

Newton is sitting right in front of Einstein, with a piece of chalk in his hand.

He's sitting in a box drawn on the ground, a meter to one side. Einstein says, "Newton, you're terrible, I've found you!"

Newton says, "No no, no. You've found one Newton per square meter.

You've found Pascal!"

Albert Einstein, Sir Isaac Newton, and Blaise Pascal are playing hide and seek.

Einstein is it, so he closes his eyes and starts to count. Pascal runs off to hide, but Newton doesn't budge. Right in front of Einstein he bends down and scratches a box in the dirt, one meter on a side. The he just stands there, right in the middle of the box.

Einstein opens his eyes and says "Newton! I found you! You're it!"

"No," says Newton. "You found a Newton in one square meter. You found Pascal!"

The safety distance of 2 meters has been hard for the people in Finland.

Luckily, when it's over, we can return to the usual 10 meter distancing.

Einstein, Newton and Pascal play hide and seek.

It's Einstein's turn to be it.
Pascal is nowhere to be found, but Newton draws a 1m X 1m square right in front of Einstein and stands in its centre.
Einstein says, Newton, you're terrible! I found you right away!
Newton replies, No, Einy. You've found one Newton per square meter. You've found Pascal!

Most blocks in Minecraft are one square meter. Where in Minecraft can you find a block that has only two square feet?

Whichever one the player's standing on.

Newton, Einstein and Pascal meet in Heaven.

They're bored, so Einstein suggests they play hide and seek. Einstein starts counting to 10. Pascal runs to find a good hiding spot, Newton on the other hand stays in place. He draws a 1 meter by 1 meter square with chalk on the ground and stands in it. Einstein finished counting, turns around, notices Newton and says: Ha, gotcha Newton! , but Newton just replies: Nah man, you got Pascal.

What happened to the frog who didn't pay the parking meter?

He got toad.

I am sick of this pandemic and the 2 meter distancing.

I can't wait until its over so I can go back to my usual 15 meter distancing.

Today, Ronald McDonald put a quarter in my expired parking meter ...

what a kind jester!

Isaac Newton, Albert Einstein, and Blaise Pascal are playing hide and seek

Einstein is it, and he covers his eyes and begins to count. Pascal runs off to hide, but Newton doesn't move. He leans down, scratches out a square one meter on a side, and just stands there, right in front of Einstein.

Einstein finishes counting, uncovers his eyes, and exclaims "Newton! I found you! You're it!"

Newton replies "No. You found a Newton in a square meter. You found Pascal!"

What do non-Americans call someone with a foot fetish?

A meter maniac..

Why can't a nose be 30.48 centimeters?

Because then it would be .3048 Meter!



Some jokes just don't translate well.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the meter centimetres jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working meter metre piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes