Metaphors For Jokes
80 metaphors for jokes and hilarious metaphors for puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about metaphors for that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Metaphors For Short Jokes
Short metaphors for jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The metaphors for humour may include short metaphor jokes also.
- What do you call a really long metaphor? It's like, a metafive
PS I made this up myself and I'm really proud of it - The editor rejected my book, he said my metaphores are incomprehensible... I'm sad as a coconut.
- People say that Steve Jobs died too soon. But I think his death was a fitting metaphor for apples attitude to battery life.
- Grammar tip Farther = physical distance
Further = metaphorical distance
Father = emotional distance - I sneezed in front of my stuttering friend and said, "man, my sinuses are on fire". "i-i-is i-i-it an-an-allergy?" he asked
I said, "no, it's a metaphor". - I hate it when people use metaphors that are physically impossible. It makes my blood boil.
- I finally saved up enough money that I could afford to listen to my heart. It turns out that's just a metaphor.
Anyway, I have a stethoscope for sale. - Why are dyslexic authors so friendly? They don't know the difference between smiles and metaphors.
- Humans are like grapes... Grapes are green or purple, and a human has colors too. A grape is picked, and eaten by a human. Then we die of old age. I'm not good with metaphors.
- For all those who like to compare a situation with Star Wars to explain it better, Metaphors be with you.
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Metaphors For One Liners
Which metaphors for one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with metaphors for? I can suggest the ones about idioms about and analogy.
- What is a simile? It's like a metaphor.
- Why don't kleptomaniacs understand metaphors? Because they take everything, literally.
- I met a girl called simile. I don't know what I metaphor.
- Don't use metaphors when talking to kleptomaniacs. They take things literally.
- I went on a date with a girl called simile. I don't know what I metaphor.
- Metaphors aren't like similes. Metaphors are similes.
- How do poets say hello? *"Hey, haven't we metaphor?"*
- What do you call a really long metaphor? It's like, a metafive
- My friend met a girl named simile He didn't know why he metaphor
- I was watching Star Wars in English Class And a classmate says "metaphors be with you"
- "Man, my sinuses are on fire!" "An allergy?"
"No, a metaphor". - Jedi Knights love analogies. "Metaphors be with you!"
- A bad metaphor is like a cucumber with a parachute.
- What do Jedi Knights say to encourage the use of analogies? "Metaphors be with you."
- Figurative digits When is a 2 literally a 6? When it has metaphor.
Metaphors For Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about metaphors for you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean figure of speech jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make metaphors for pranks.
What's the difference between a simile and a metaphor?
A Simile is like a metaphor while a metaphor *is a Simile.
There's an Italian in a language class.
"Today we are learning about similes and metaphors. Can anyone give me an example" says the tutor.
A Spaniard pipes up "My wife dances salsa like a goddess"
Then a french man has his turn "My wife has p**... like a forest"
The Italian guy likes how this language works, so he has a try "I met a woman last week, Her eyes where like stars in the sky. Her hair was like soft velvet. She had a body like a supermodel" the tutor cuts him off there seeing that he could go on for ages "could someone give us an example of a metaphor now?"
"Well I was getting to that" says the Italian. "She was so fine I had to ask her out, And yesterday I met 'er for lunch".
I think it's from an old British comedy show, when TV was racist, but I'm not sure.
I've got a horrible memory.
I couldn't remember what onomatopoeia or metaphor meant and then BAM it hit me like lighting. It was like the time I remembered similes and realized I am dumb as a box of rocks.
Fruit Joke Request
I'm writing a speech and I need help with a joke, was hoping someone here might have some good ideas.
Part of my speech is where I compare myself to a piece of fruit (currently a peach), using metaphor. I wanted to start out saying something along the lines of "Then I had the epiphany... I was just like this peach... no... I'm not (insert joke)"
The first thought that popped into my head is to say I'm not fruity, but I don't want to be offensive.
Any ideas? I prefer peach related, but any fruit would work.
Thanks!
People say Steve jobs died too earlier...
... I think it's a fitting metaphor for the iPhone's battery life
Making an analogy that references itself is like good word play.
You don't do it anytime you want. You have to have a good reason to go metaphor.
A good metaphor for today's youth is the book Peter Pan...
Kids sneak out. Get high on dust together. Beat up handicapped man, and steal his boat.
A couple after a divorce are at court over who could keep the child.
So the mother goes:" i carried that child for 9 long months and gave birth to it under a lot of pain. I should keep it.
The judge asks the father if he has anything to add.
The father calmly replies:" let me explain this situation with a metaphor; if you walk up to a coca-cola machine, put in a dollar and a coke comes out, does the coke belong to you or the machine?"
Some people say Steve Jobs died to early...
but I'd say its an appropriate metaphor for his companies policy on battery life
When life throws you a curveball..
..you just dont know enough about baseball to finish the metaphor.
I have just read an interesting dictionary.
It had literally no metaphors.
I'll ^show^myself^out...
My friend asked me, "How would you describe your blind date last night?"
I said "Metaphor."
Pretty sure Betsy DeVos said the grizzly metaphor because the 2nd amendment says,
The right to bear arms.
What's a metaphor?
Keeping the cows in
I once went out with this girl called simile..
..it was a waste of time, I don't know why I metaphor.
Why do hypocrites avoid mixed metaphors?
The don't count their chickens in the same basket.
Don't be afraid of a little metaphor.
It won't bite you.
What do you call a number that constantly talks about itself...
A Metaphor
What would Obi-wan say if he was a teacher?
Metaphors be with you
I hate it when people confuse reality with metaphors...
It makes my head literally explode!
Jesus. You can't swing a dead cat without hitting some loudmouth who objects to an old metaphor. Luckily ...
I don't have a dog in this fight.
Using a smartphone is the prefect metaphor for getting laid.
It feels so much better without protection, but it's way riskier, and you probably can't afford the consequences.
I asked a f**... director about mausoleums and he would only speak in metaphors.
He was acting very cryptic.
Every time I come up with a new metaphor it makes me sneeze.
It really sets off my analogies.
Whenever I tell someone I sleep like a baby they always seem pleased
I should probably find a different metaphor for waking up at 3am screaming, covered in my own u**....
An allegory is just a metaphor on a pedestal
They can't
What's metaphor?
Describing data
When your not clever enough for metaphors...
I've found literal comparisons make great fact similes.
What do comedians do nowadays?
First they steal a reporter's script before every show. Then they throw in some curses and metaphors.
My English teacher was always mixing metaphors, like he's so far off-base he'll have to swim back to shore.
My English teacher marked me down for using jerking off as a metaphor for self-indulgence
but I really think the court order was uncalled for.
Friend keeps telling me my mixing of metaphors will get me in trouble....
But we'll burn that bridge when we get to it
I have this weird problem where I can't understand metaphors, unless they are also ladder-related puns.
My psychologist keeps is trying to find some Holy Rail of a solution, but I'm pretty content to continue to sweep it under the rung.
How do poets say hello to each other?
Hey, have we metaphor?
My friend is very literal
He trips on every metaphor he stumbles across
There's a gray line between getting a metaphor right or wrong
And in the fine area there's a punch line
Have you heard that really convoluted metaphor about poorly constructed bridges?
It's hard to get across.
Metaphors
People say I mangle metaphors, but you can't make an omelet without beating a few dead horses.
A good analogy is like a box of chocolates-
you never know when you're going to get a mixed metaphor.
Today, I met Bruce Lee's vegetarian brother, Broco Lee.
I met a few of his cousins too;
The one who can't take a joke, Serious Lee.
The one is always there last minute, Sudden Lee.
The one who doesn't understand Metaphors, Literal Lee.
The one who is always throwing shade, Sarcastic Lee.
The one who is so sure of himself, Definite Lee.
The one you can always predict, Usual Lee.
The one whose always smiling, Happy Lee.
The one in disgrace, Shameful Lee.
The one that isn't very good looking, Ug Lee
AND,
The one who likes perfection, Exact Lee
In short, I met the whole Fama Lee.