Metal Jokes
166 metal jokes and hilarious metal puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about metal that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Are you looking for a good laugh? Check out our selection of metal jokes about a variety of metals, from scrap metal to death metal, alkali metal and precious metal. Whether you’re a fan of Metallica or simply enjoy jokes about utensils and implants, these metal jokes are sure to leave you smiling.
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Funniest Metal Short Jokes
Short metal jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The metal humour may include short steel jokes also.
- All day I drill holes in metal and bolt them together. At first it's boring, then it's riveting.
- Why is Metallica the safest band to listen to in an airport? Because they haven't set off a metal detector since 1989.
- Two wind turbines are talking to each other... One asks, "What's your favorite kind of music?"
The other turbine replies, "Well...I'm a big metal fan." - Two wind turbines... Two wind turbines are in a field when one turns to the other:
He says: "What's your favourite type of music"
The second one says: "Actually I'm a huge metal fan" - Two windmills are sitting on a hill. One turns to the other and asks "What kind of music do you like?" The other windmill replies "I'm a big metal fan."
- Not all construction work is equally enjoyable. For instance, drilling a large hole is boring, but fastening two pieces of metal together is riveting.
- In my day, schooling was so severe. If we got answers wrong in class, teachers would hit us with unbreakable metal ruler.
Tough measures. - Two windmills stood on a hill with a radio. One turned to his friend and asked, What's your favourite music?
The other windmill said, I'm a big metal fan. - Two Wind turbines are in a field. One turns to the other and asks: " what is your type of music ?"
"i'm a huge metal fan" - I took my metal detector to the beach today expecting to find antiques of great value. Beach better have my money
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Metal One Liners
Which metal one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with metal? I can suggest the ones about iron and rock.
- The adjective for metal is metallic, but not so for iron, which is ironic.
- What do you call a heavy metal band With financial problems? Megadebt
- What kind of music do wind turbines like? They're huge metal fans
- What is a windmill's favorite kind of music? I've heard they're huge metal fans...
- What are windmills' favorite genre of music? They're big metal fans
- What's Santa's favourite heavy metal band? Sleigher
- I was just at a lecture about how to fasten metal together. Riveting stuff.
- What kind of music do wind turbines like? They seem to be big heavy metal fans.
- What kind of music do windmills listen to? They're all big metal fans.
- I once knew a blacksmith who didnt like metal... it was ironic.
- What do snakes use to build clocks? Metal Gears
- What do you tell a metal head who's walking on an icy street? Slip not.
- Did you see the show about metal fasteners? It was riveting.
- Ever heard of that Hebrew metal band? Guns N' Moses
- What music do wind turbines like? They're big metal fans.
Metal Music Jokes
Here is a list of funny metal music jokes and even better metal music puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Two electric windmills are standing in a field. One turns to the other and asks "What kind of music do you like?" The second one replies "I'm a huge metal fan".
- Two windmills were hanging out in a field. One windmill asked the other, what type of music do you like? The other responded, I'm a huge metal fan.
- One windmill asked another what kind of music it likes The other windmill responded "I'm a big metal fan"
- Two windmills stand on a hill. The first says, "So what kind of music do you like?"
The other answers, "I'm a big metal fan." - Two wind turbines were talking One asked the other, "What's your favorite kind of music? "
The other replied, "Well I'm a big Metal Fan" - Two windmills are in a field. One turns to the other and asks, "What's your favorite type of music?"
"I'm a big metal fan" the other one replies. - What's a wind turbine's favourite kind of music? Well I don't know much but I'd say they're a big metal fan
- Two wind turbines are standing in a wind farm. One of them turns to ask the other, "What kind of music are you into?" The other replies, "I'm a big metal fan."
- Two windmills are in a field. One windmill says to the other, "what type of music do you like?"
The other windmill replies, "well I'm a big metal fan." - After a night of drinking, John walks into a metal bar The music was great and he hooks up with a beautiful blonde.
He awakes at the hospital with a mild concussion.
Heavy Metal Jokes
Here is a list of funny heavy metal jokes and even better heavy metal puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- So I started a new band. We scream aggressively about how broke we are to heavy guitar riffs.
We're called Debt Metal. - I don't always listen to heavy metal, but when I do... ...so do the neighbors.
- Did you hear about that new heavy metal themed sandwich shop? It's called Pantera Bread
- The death count nears 50 after scaffolding collapses and crushes fans at a rock music festival... Eye-witnesses say there was a lot of heavy metal.
- Two windmills are out in a field... ...and one says to the other: "What kind of music do you listen to?"
The other replies: "I'm a big heavy metal fan." - The plane turbine says to the candy... "What kind of music do you listen to?"
The candy says "Oh, I'm into rap. What about you?"
The turbine says "I'm a big heavy metal fan." - did you hear about the guy stuck in a heavy metal box? don't worry, he's safe now.
- Why does windmills like heavy metal? Because they are a huge metal fan
- So I heard wind turbines enjoy listening to rock music.. Apparently they're big heavy metal fans.
- Why can't you improve the efficiency of wind farms by playing country music around them? Because they're really just big heavy metal fans.
Metal Band Jokes
Here is a list of funny metal band jokes and even better metal band puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I like metal bands with female lead singers... Something about women screaming makes me rock hard.
- I'm going to start a metal band that writes songs about how important it is to connect with people in your professional network... ...and call it LinkedIn Park.
I'll show myself out now. - What do you call a punk band that knows how to play their instruments? A metal band
- So an IT guy is really bad at his job and decides to quit and start a Nu Metal band. It was named: System Always Down
- The special ed students made a metal band. It's called Syndrome of a Down.
- We're doing kids jokes? From my 10 year old this morning What's a bird's favourite band?
Metalli-CAH! (screech) - OJ Simpson has a new death metal band called: Black Stabbeth
- What was the Vegan Metal Bands name? Plantera
- What do you call a baby metal band? Ultrasound
- I just listened to a heavy metal band singing about norse gods Now that's what I call Ragna-rock!
Death Metal Jokes
Here is a list of funny death metal jokes and even better death metal puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What do you call someone who writes death metal instrumentals? A decomposer
- What do you call someone who writes Death Metal music? A Decomposer
- I like my death metal like I like my coffee. Dark and with lots of Meshuggah.
- A metal band comprised of Chernobyl survivors 6 Finger Death Punch
- A baker was killed by a falling metal pan... you could say his death was filled with irony.
Ba-Dum-Tsss - Little known fact: after their supposed death, Pierre and Marie Curie went on to become successful underwater assassins using a certain heavy metal. Hundreds of people died of mer-Curie poisoning.
- A paperclip walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the pointy face?" The paperclip, incapable of human speech, forms a long, thin sliver of metal and stabs the bartender to death.
- What does an old rocker listen to? Near-death metal.
- What do you call Islamic death metal? Allahu Rockbar.
- Why did the heavy metal rocker become an actuary? He wanted to be paid to predict death and destruction.
Scrap Metal Jokes
Here is a list of funny scrap metal jokes and even better scrap metal puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Did you hear about the Jewish kamikaze pilot? He crashed his plane onto his brothers scrap metal yard.
- Tom used to pick up scrap metal. Then the police started an investigation to find out why. It turned out that he was a forger. Makes cents.
- Why was a piece of scrap metal liked by everyone? Because it was ex-scythe-thing.
- I've found a new genre of music. It's a combination of heavy rock n' roll, hip hop, and folk music. I call it Scrap Metal.
Ridiculous Metal Jokes to Spark Fun and Laughter
What funny jokes about metal you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean gold jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make metal pranks.
Two wind turbines in a field and one says to the other, "Do you like music?"
He replies, "I'm a big metal fan."
How did Metallica get people to stop pirating their music?
They stopped releasing anything worth listening to.
Did you hear about the suspect who was released from jail after he touched grounded metal and received a static shock?
He was cleared of all charges.
I hate going through airport security...
For some reason I'm always stopped at the metal detector, even if i'm carrying NOTHING! So as you can imagine, on my latest trip, when I successfully got past the metal detector I was so pleased that I whispered "YES" to myself. As you can imagine, that didn't go down too well.
The Rabbit, The bear, and The genie.
A bear is chasing a rabbit through the woods. The rabbit trips on a glistening metal object. The bear quickly picks up the object which appears to be a silver oil lamp.
A genie appeared forth.
The genie looked at the bear then the rabbit, then back at the bear.
"Alright, which of you schmucks freed me?"
"Me" the bear and rabbit said simultaneously.
The genie looked at the rabbit, then back at the bear. "Alright, I'm in a good mood, so you both get three wishes. Who's going first?"
The bear volunteered. "I wish all the other bears in this forest were female" He said.
"I wish I had a motorcycle" said the rabbit.
"Done and done" said the genie. Next wish?
The bear got a dumb smile and said "I wish all the other bears in the surrounding forests were female."
The rabbit hopped on the motorcycle. "I wish I was wearing a helmet"
"Alright. easy enough."
The bear a grin across his face yelled "I wish all the other bears in the world were female!"
The rabbit revved the engine, put on some goggles and as he sped away yelled "I wish the bear was gay!"
Just in time for the holidays
A guy goes back to his home town for Christmas, and he stops by the local diner to get his favorite breakfast, eggs Benedict. But he has a special request, he wants it served on a big shiny metal plate. The waiter doesn't understand why, so he asks him "Sir, why do you want eggs Benedict on a shiny metal plate?" And the man says "Because there's no place like chrome for the hollandaise."
A man is getting ready to go on a business trip...
He has been suspicious of his wife cheating on him. So he places under his bed a spoon attached to a string that hangs on the metal frame with a bowl of milk under it. He measures the weight of his wife in bed alone to make sure it is not in the milk unless there is more weight.
The man leaves and comes home after a few days and looks under his bed to find a bowl of butter.
SPOILER ALERT:
I just had a piece of metal fitted to the back of my car to reduce drag and increase fuel efficiency.
I'm s**... attracted to metal boxes with locking systems.
But don't worry. It's safe s**....
Why Won't Michigan Governor Rick Snyder Take Any Flint Tap Water With Him Overseas In Order To Stick To His Promise That He'd Drink It For A Full Month...?
Because he can't get it through the airport metal detectors.
A wind turbine's friend asks him what music he likes
Wind turbine: "I'm a big metal fan."
A paranoid man stays at a hotel,
As per habit, he checks every inch of his hotel room looking for mics, cameras or any surveillance device.
Sure enough, right in the centre of the room, under the bed, under the carpet is a small, black metal object firmly bolted to the floor.
He takes out his equipment, detaches the metal object & throws it out the window.
The next morning the hotel manager knocks on his door & asks him,
"Good morning sir, did you have any problems last night?"
"Not at all" the man answered, "why do you ask?"
"Well, it's very strange" said the manager, "but in the room directly below yours, the chandelier suddenly fell down in the middle of the night".
What kind of metal was the Titanic made out of?
Zinc
Titanium is a most amorous metal...
When it gets hot, it'll combine with anything.
What would someone in the 13 hundreds say if you told them we fly in giant metal birds all around the world?
You mean across?
Lot's of people know about Will Smith and rap, but did you know he's good with metal too?
Because he's a black Smith.
An old man is walking through a crowded cafeteria...
Blocking the exit is a man with 14 children.
The old man scowls and makes his way through the children, but his metal cane hits some of the childrens' legs as well as the man's legs.
The man angrily says "Hey, could you put some rubber on that tip of yours! You're bangin' us up!"
The old man haughtily replies "If you had done that before then we wouldn't be in this situation!"
Why did the robot see a psychiatrist?
Because he had metal health problems...
A man walks into a bar with a little sliver of metal on his tie...
The barman says "sorry, we don't want your tie-pin here"
Walter.
I was in the park the other day and saw a guy practising his athletic trials, with a long metal stick for the Olympics. I asked if he was a pole vaulter, and he replied "Nein, I'm German. How did you know my name was Walter?"
What sound does a red metal rod make when it hits a white metal rod?
*PINK!*
2 windmills next to each other in a field, one goes "what kind of music do you like?" ...
The other goes "I'm a big metal fan"
Metallica and Nonmetallica should come together...
To form a ionic band
What do you call a Metallica song after being transcribed?
Sheet metal.
I was going to put a joke on here about carpentry.
But i didn't think it wood work........
so i decided to add some metal work instead,
but i realised it steel wooden work.....
I tired to impress a girl by putting the pedal to the metal
But she'd seen transhcans open like that before
Imagine how someone from a thousand years ago would respond if you told them that in the future there will be giant metal birds that fly people around the world?
Don't you mean across?
What does a metal frog say?
Rivot rivot
What music do wind turbines listen to.....
They're huge metal fans.
Ba-dum chi
A stranger gave me a really old metal box...
He said it was supposed to contain gold coins, but the lock and the hinges were so rusty which made it very hard to open. I tried a hammer and a crowbar, but the box just won't budge.
So, I'm thinking of trying to open this box with a stick of dynamite, as a last resort. I'll update you guys later if it works or not.
Two windmills are standing in a wind farm.
**One asks, "What's your favorite kind of music?"**
**The other says, "I'm a big metal fan."**
Have you heard the joke about the steel rod?
No? Let metal you.
What happens when you eat aluminium foil?
You sheet metal
Two giant wind turbines are standing in a field
One turns to the other and asks what of music do you like?
The second one says, well, I'm a huge metal fan
A solar panel, a wind turbine and a hydro dam are all getting to know each other.
'What kind of music are you into?' asks the dam.
'I'm into trance', replies the solar panel.
'Ooh, too intense for me', dam says, 'I much prefer classical melodies, maybe a little 60s soul at the weekends.'
'What about you Mr Turbine? What are you into?'
'Me?' He replies, 'I'm a huge metal fan.'
The adjective for metal is metallic .
The adjective for metal is metallic .
But that's not the case for iron , which is ironic.
Two windmills are standing on a wind farm.
One asks the other, What's your favorite type of music?
* I'm a big metal fan. *
Some construction jobs are more interesting than others.
For example, drilling holes is boring but fastening metal plates together can be riveting.
Eggs Benedict
A man goes to breakfast during the Christmas season. He orders eggs Benedict from the server since it's the special.
The server returns several minutes later with the dish, steaming on a an old metal hubcap from a car.
What's the meaning of this? The man exclaims.
It's the holiday special, replied the waiter. There's no plate like chrome for the hollandaise.
Ever seen a blacksmith join two metal sheets?
It's riveting
This time of year reminds me of that time I spent Christmas on the road ...
I stopped into a little diner for breakfast, and ordered the Christmas Eggs Benedict. The waitress came and delivered it on a shiny metal plate. I said, "This is fancy." She replied, "Well hon', you know there's no plate like chrome for the hollandaise!"
An Amish man and his son are at a mall.
They're taken aback as they look around. The son points to an elevator and asks his father, "What is that?" The man says, "I don't know, son, but let's watch." An old, fat woman gets on and the metal doors slide shut. A few moments later the doors slide open and a gorgeous young blonde gets off. The man turns to his son and says, "Go get your mother."
I found a Land Rover whilst metal detecting today
It was a lovely discovery
