So I made her marry an old guy she's never met to secure an alliance with the French.
When we got outside, she ran a 40 yard dash in 4.8 seconds.
We just clicked.
They promptly arrested me
Guess who just got Darth Vader unlocked...
Jokes on her, I'm 4'11
She's just a "waitress" and she was just "doing her job".
All of the ones I've met have just been Jew-ish
Unfortunately, I couldn't meet his son.
So we made her marry a man she never met in order to secure a French alliance.
Met a beautiful girl down at the park today.
Sparks flew, she fell at my feet and we ended up having sex right there and then.
God, I love my new Taser...
He said "Alright, I'll write all right."
Today i asked a pretty young homeless women if i could take her home, and she said yes with a big smile.
The look on her face soon changed when i walked off with her cardboard box.
So I had her repost a joke for me that's been posted 5,000 times in the past week
Two blondes meet up for coffee and one asks the other what she has been up to.
"I had sex with two Brazilian guys last night", she said.
"Wow - I've never even met that many guys" replied the other.
When I put my ear to it I could smell the sea
They probably have the same names
The chicken
...She takes him by the hand to the bedroom and winks at him and says: "why don't you show me if what they say about black guys is true." So he stabs her and steals her TV.
P.S: don't worry, it's ok for me to make such jokes because I'm racist.
Brocco Lee
But I've never met herbivore!
I was met with a stoney silence. Something tells me that she's beginning to regret letting me name the twins.
I swear I've met herbivore
It was destiny
I guess he's homeless.
so I made her marry a man she has never met before in order to secure an alliance with France.
I said I never met herbivore
They say they will release one politician per hour if their demands aren't met.
Which was weird, because I'd never met herbivore.
We just clicked.
He made me an offer I couldn't understand.
..then we met.
Must be big love, haven't seen her for weeks.
Sparks flew, she fell at my feet, and we wound up having sex right then and there!
Gosh I love my new taser
Two blondes meet up for coffee and one asks the other what she has been upto;
"I had sex with two Brazilian guys last night"
"Wow - I've never even met that many guys" replied the other
But then every time the phone rang it was for her. It was very confusing and annoying
I've never met *herbivore*
:)
It was her made-in name
His underwear fits like a glove.
I met a woman with 8 sons named Joe;
I said, "They're all named Joe?"
She said "Yeah it's great! When it's time for dinner I just have to yell "Joe! Dinner!" and they all come running.
I said, "but what do you do if you just want one of them?"
She said, "Oh then I just use their last name."
This morning on the way to work I drove into the back of a car, at some lights, whilst not really paying attention.
The driver got out and he was a dwarf.
He said, "I'm not happy."
I replied, "Well, which one are you then?"
It has now been reported that Trump actually managed several sentences in almost fluent English.
Next week we're going to go on a date
and I met a girl who was dressed as an egg. One thing led to another and a lifelong question was answered; it was the chicken.
He said "Like a glove!"
I asked him: "How did you ever get a name like that being a Chinese?"
He said: "Many, many years ago when I first went to USA, I was standing in line at the Political Asylums Immigration Counter. The man in front of me was a Sri Lankan Tamil refugee.
The white lady at the counter looked at him and asked "What is your name?" He replied "Kannaswami".
Then she looked at me and asked "What's your name?"
I said, "Sem Ting".
He was an Iraqnid.
Met a girl in the park last night and there was an instant spark between us, a definite connection, she fell at my feet.
These taser guns are well worth the money.
I asked her what are the prices?
She said:
£20 for a hand job
£50 for a blow job
£80 for sex
And for £120, i'll do anything!
Anything hmmm....
She's now fitting my downstairs bathroom and repainting my living room.
You can ge some real bargains if you shop around!
I met my wife, who was raised by two dads. That's when I came to my senses and realized.. NO MOTHER-IN-LAW!
If you find 400 pounds on the street in America, you've met Phillip.
They were all just sort of jew-ish
She told that if I put my ear to it, I can smell the ocean.
but alas, it was in vein.
He said, "shuriken."
Being a master macaroni maker myself, I responded to his offer, and we set up a time and place to meet so I could teach him. When we met up, he took one look at me, and he told me that I didn't look like someone who could even make halfway decent macaroni. "Sir", I assured him, "I promise I'm a master of my Kraft."
fell in love and got married. The wedding wasn't much but the reception was *excellent*.
I think she's beginning to regret letting me name the twins.
He was bigger than I expected.
But I'd never met herbivore.
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