Met Jokes

Funniest Met Short Jokes

Short met jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The met humour may include short encounter jokes also.

1. My girlfriend kept telling me to treat her like a princess. So I made her marry an old guy she's never met to secure an alliance with the French.
   
2. I met a girl at a club the other night & she told me she'd show me a good time. When we got outside, she ran a 40 yard dash in 4.8 seconds.
3. I met two guys wearing matching clothing. So I asked them if they were gay. They promptly arrested me
4. What is a Pirate's favorite letter? The one from the General Manager telling him he's been traded to the Mets.
   Thanks to everyone who awarded this post! You're so kind .
5. I met my girlfriend whilst she was working at the zoo. There she was in her uniform – straightaway I knew she was a keeper.
6. I met a magical genie once. He gave me one wish. I said "I wish I could be you" The genue saud, "weurd wush but U wull grant ut."
7. This girl I met on Tinder had a tattoo of a seashell on her innerthigh If you put your ear against it and listened closely, you could smell the sea.
8. A girl I met on tinder said "don't even bother talking to me if your height starts with 5" Jokes on her, I'm 4'11
    
9. I thought me and my girlfriend had something. She met my parents, brought me dinner and called me honey. Now suddenly... She's just a "waitress" and she was just "doing her job".
10. Why haven't I ever met a full blooded jew? All of the ones I've met have just been Jew-ish

Share These Met Jokes With Friends

Met One Liners

Which met one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with met? I can suggest the ones about meet and tinder.

1. I met a North African girl the other night, we spoke for hours. We just clicked.
2. I once went on a blind date with a vegan I never met herbivore
3. I met an Anti-Vaxxer today... Unfortunately, I couldn't meet his son.
4. Today i have met the vegetarian brother of Bruce Lee Brocco Lee
5. A stranger just came up to me and told me she was vegan... I swear I've met herbivore
6. I met my current girlfriend at a midnight game release It was destiny
7. I met my wife in an African Languages class. We just clicked.
8. My wife and I were happy for 20 years.. ..then we met.
9. I met an Asian girl today with the last name of "China" It was her made-in name
10. I met a girl who was a solid 10 but she hated Harry Potter Now she is a 9¾
11. I met Bruce Lee's vegetarian brother Broco Lee
12. I once met a spider from Baghdad... He was an Iraqnid.
13. I've never met a full on jew They were all just sort of jew-ish
14. I met a nice guy online. He says he's from South Korea. I think he might be my Seoulmate
15. Two red blood cells met and fell in love but alas, it was in vein.

How I Met Your Mother Jokes

Here is a list of funny how i met your mother jokes and even better how i met your mother puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• My sisters and I met yesterday to discuss whether or not to bury or cremate our mother.. We couldn't come to a decision between the two so we are letting her live for now.
• I watched the Indian version of How I Met Your Mother… There's just one episode and it is about the wedding.
  ​
• I Wasn't Too Keen On The Idea Of Gay Parenting Until I met my wife, who was raised by two dads. That's when I came to my senses and realized.. NO MOTHER-IN-LAW!
• How I Met Your Mother... ... is the longest and most popular Ted talk.
• If the big bang theory, how I met your mother and two and a half men had ever crossed over it would've been called How I banged your mother with two and a half men
• Have you seen the Indian adaptation of 'How I Met Your Mother' ? It's called 'How My Parents Met Your Mother's Parents'
• My boyfriend and I met on the internet! My boyfriend and I met on the internet. My mother asked him what line he used on me and my boyfriend replied, I just used a modem.
• What's the world's longest Ted Talk? How I Met Your Mother
• I sat my children down to tell them the story of how i met their mother... They said "Dad, Atleast wait until Mom dies to start thinking of dating someone else...."
• I watched the Hindu version of How I Met Your Mother... There's just one episode about the wedding.

Demands Met Jokes

Here is a list of funny demands met jokes and even better demands met puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• Terrorists have hijacked a plane filled with politicians... They say they will release one politician per hour if their demands aren't met.
• Terrorists have taken >500 hostages at the Bar Association annual conference Unless their demands are met, they'll release one lawyer every hour.
• The people you meet as a firefighter are really weird sometimes. I met this woman today who kept demanding I shave her baby.
• A busload of lawyers was hijacked by terrorists... ... They're threatening to release one per hour until their demands are met.
• Did you hear about the terrorists who hijacked a plane of lawyers? They threatened to release one every hour til their demands were met.
• I promised my wife that I haven't kissed a single girl since we met the married ones are less demanding
• The Dallas shooting suspect demanded a cell phone. The police met his demand In fact they gave him the latest phone, the brand new Samsung Galaxy C4
• A t**... group has taken Donald Trump hostage. They are threatening to release him if their demands are not met.

How We Met Jokes

Here is a list of funny how we met jokes and even better how we met puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• My friend wanted to feel like a princess on her wedding day So we made her marry a man she never met in order to secure a french alliance.
• I met Matthew McConaughey and asked him to sign a photo for me. I told him to make sure he doesn't write anything in the left side of the picture though. He said "Alright, I'll write all right."
• A Genie grants a wish. I met a magical Genie. He gave me one wish. I said, "I wish I could be you.
  The Genue saud, "Weurd wush but U wull grant ut."
• I met a girl at a club the other night who said she'd show me a good time and incredibly, when we got outside... She ran a 40-meter dash in just 4.5 seconds.
• I met Tom Hanks once. He was so rude I asked for his autograph and all he wrote was thanks.
• I once met a girl with a tattoo of a conch on her inner thigh When I put my ear to it I could smell the sea
• The other day, I met a genie who granted me one wish. So, I told him: "I just want to be happy." Now I'm living in a cottage with 6 dwarves and working in a mine.
• I went to a halloween party dressed as a chicken. Met a girl dressed as an egg. A question as old as time was answered The chicken
• I met a homeless guy on the streets today who was asking for money. I had 20 dollars with me but I didn't want it to be spent on drugs and alcohol so i gave him all of it.
• This girl said she knew me from the vegetarian restaurant... But I've never met herbivore!

Met Gala Jokes

Here is a list of funny met gala jokes and even better met gala puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• What did they say about the Swordsman's outfit at the Met Gala? That is was very Avant En Garde.

Laughable Met Jokes for Instant Grins & Giggles

What funny jokes about met you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean fulfill jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make met pranks.