Following is our collection of funny Met jokes. There are some met meet jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these met dozentit puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
So I made her marry an old guy she's never met to secure an alliance with the French.
When we got outside, she ran a 40 yard dash in 4.8 seconds.
We just clicked.
They promptly arrested me
There she was in her uniform – straightaway I knew she was a keeper.
Guess who just got Darth Vader unlocked...
If you put your ear against it and listened closely, you could smell the sea.
Jokes on her, I'm 4'11
She's just a "waitress" and she was just "doing her job".
All of the ones I've met have just been Jew-ish
Unfortunately, I couldn't meet his son.
You can explore met meetup reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean met asked dad jokes. There are also met puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
So we made her marry a man she never met in order to secure a French alliance.
Met a beautiful girl down at the park today.
Sparks flew, she fell at my feet and we ended up having sex right there and then.
God, I love my new Taser...
He said "Alright, I'll write all right."
The moment I saw her there, dressed head to toe in khaki and covered in animal shit, I knew she was a keeper.
Today i asked a pretty young homeless women if i could take her home, and she said yes with a big smile.
The look on her face soon changed when i walked off with her cardboard box.
So I had her repost a joke for me that's been posted 5,000 times in the past week
Two blondes meet up for coffee and one asks the other what she has been up to.
"I had sex with two Brazilian guys last night", she said.
"Wow - I've never even met that many guys" replied the other.
When I put my ear to it I could smell the sea
They probably have the same names
The chicken
...She takes him by the hand to the bedroom and winks at him and says: "why don't you show me if what they say about black guys is true." So he stabs her and steals her TV.
P.S: don't worry, it's ok for me to make such jokes because I'm racist.
Brocco Lee
But I've never met herbivore!
I was met with a stoney silence. Something tells me that she's beginning to regret letting me name the twins.
We couldn't come to a decision between the two so we are letting her live for now.
I swear I've met herbivore
It was destiny
I guess he's homeless.
so I made her marry a man she has never met before in order to secure an alliance with France.
I said I never met herbivore
They say they will release one politician per hour if their demands aren't met.
Which was weird, because I'd never met herbivore.
We just clicked.
He made me an offer I couldn't understand.
..then we met.
Must be big love, haven't seen her for weeks.
Sparks flew, she fell at my feet, and we wound up having sex right then and there!
Gosh I love my new taser
Two blondes meet up for coffee and one asks the other what she has been upto;
"I had sex with two Brazilian guys last night"
"Wow - I've never even met that many guys" replied the other
A deer enters a bar and sits by the bartender. "Whatever's on tap, and keep them coming. I lost a patient today."
The bartender brings over a drink and says, "That's really rough. But I've never met a deer that's a medical practitioner. How did that happen?"
The deer replied, "Well I came from a impoverished part of the forest. It was difficult to get food, difficult to get water, and difficult to find shelter. Nothing came with ease, that's for sure."
"And a deer with no ease becomes a dr."
But then every time the phone rang it was for her. It was very confusing and annoying
I've never met *herbivore*
:)
It was her made-in name
His underwear fits like a glove.
I met a woman with 8 sons named Joe;
I said, "They're all named Joe?"
She said "Yeah it's great! When it's time for dinner I just have to yell "Joe! Dinner!" and they all come running.
I said, "but what do you do if you just want one of them?"
She said, "Oh then I just use their last name."
This morning on the way to work I drove into the back of a car, at some lights, whilst not really paying attention.
The driver got out and he was a dwarf.
He said, "I'm not happy."
I replied, "Well, which one are you then?"
It has now been reported that Trump actually managed several sentences in almost fluent English.
Next week we're going to go on a date
and I met a girl who was dressed as an egg. One thing led to another and a lifelong question was answered; it was the chicken.
He said "Like a glove!"
When he gets to LA, he decides to stop at a local watering hole and grab a beer. He's sitting there in his hat, jeans, and boots, when a woman walks up and sits down beside him.
Woman: Are you a cowboy?
Cowboy: Well yes ma'am, I am.
Woman: Like a real deal cowboy?
Cowboy: I don't know any other kind.
Woman: I've never met a real cowboy before.
Cowboy: Well now you have.
Woman: Well?
Cowboy: Well what?
Woman: Aren't you going to ask what I am?
Cowboy: Well, uh, what are you?
Woman: I'm a lesbian.
Cowboy: A lesb- . . . I don't believe I know what that is.
Woman: It means that I like women. I like to kiss them and touch them and make love to them.
Cowboy: . . . .
The woman gets up and leaves and another woman comes into the bar. She spots the cowboy sitting there with his beer and takes a seat beside him.
Woman: Are you a cowboy?
Cowboy: Well ma'am, I thought I was, but I just found out I'm a lesbian.
harharhar.
I asked him: "How did you ever get a name like that being a Chinese?"
He said: "Many, many years ago when I first went to USA, I was standing in line at the Political Asylums Immigration Counter. The man in front of me was a Sri Lankan Tamil refugee.
The white lady at the counter looked at him and asked "What is your name?" He replied "Kannaswami".
Then she looked at me and asked "What's your name?"
I said, "Sem Ting".
He was an Iraqnid.
A young man met a cowboy who was 104, still active and in good health. He asked the old-timer what the secret was to his longevity.
The old man said, "You gotta sprinkle a little gunpowder on your oatmeal every morning see. If you do, you'll live to a nice, ripe old age."
So the young man did this religiously every day for the rest of his life, and sure enough, lived to the age of 100.
When he died he left behind 6 children, 10 grandchildren, 56 great-grandchildren...and a 16 foot hole in the wall of the crematorium.
Husband: I met a girl with 12 breast.
Wife : That sounds strange.
Husband: Dozentit.
She's my Seoul mate.
Met a girl in the park last night and there was an instant spark between us, a definite connection, she fell at my feet.
These taser guns are well worth the money.
I asked her what are the prices?
She said:
£20 for a hand job
£50 for a blow job
£80 for sex
And for £120, i'll do anything!
Anything hmmm....
She's now fitting my downstairs bathroom and repainting my living room.
You can ge some real bargains if you shop around!
I met my wife, who was raised by two dads. That's when I came to my senses and realized.. NO MOTHER-IN-LAW!
If you find 400 pounds on the street in America, you've met Phillip.
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the met ethan jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working met tinder piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.