Messy Jokes
69 messy jokes and hilarious messy puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about messy that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
With messy jokes, you'll need a sense of humor to get through the hair, house, room, desk, bun, eater, bed, and bedroom gags. Think outside the box and get ready for some good-natured ribbing about the dirtier side of life. Get ready to laugh until you tear up!
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Funniest Messy Short Jokes
Short messy jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The messy humour may include short messed jokes also.
- I always thought the hole in boxer briefs was a messy idea... until I learned it goes in the front.
- When I was a teenager, my mom always said that your bedroom is so messy that you will never get any self-respecting girl to come back here. Luckily they weren't the ones I was going after.
- Why is Bon Jovi's bed always messy? Because he doesn't think it matters if you make it or not.
- Messy drinker A skeleton walks into a bar. The bartender says, What'll you have? The skeleton says, Gimme a beer and a mop.
- As I sat on the toilet this morning I was reminded of my first divorce. At first I thought it had been a clean break, but then it got messy and there was lots of paperwork.
- We hoped for a good clean World Cup Final. But instead we got a Messi one.
Congrats to argentina. - My friend has a weird quirk: he gets explosive diarrhea and just can't contain himself when he sees a certain soccer player... And boy, it's messi.
- When Lionel Messi dies.. He should have his Argentinian team mates bury him so they can let him down one last time..
- Sitting on the toilet this morning, I was reminded of my recent divorce. At first I thought I thought I was in for a clean break, but then it got messy and there was lots of paperwork.
- My friend and I were having a heated argument about the angle of a triangle Things got messy and we went off tangent
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Messy One Liners
Which messy one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with messy? I can suggest the ones about sloppy and hot mess.
- My son played soccer in the mud all day. He was a little Messi.
- Why does C. Ronaldo comb his hair every game break? So it won't get too Messi.
- My pet pig loves soccer. Usually he plays clean but as soon as he's in mud he's Messi.
- Why did the soccer player have to ask for a bib at the restaurant? Because he was Messi
- Why is Cristiano Ronaldo's room always clean? Because he's not Messi.
- Why are kidney donors' houses so messy? They are disorganized.
- Basketball players are very messy eaters They're always dribbling
- Why is Argentina struggling so much in the World Cup? Their style of play is too Messi!
- I heard Barcelona is ironing out a new deal with their best player. It might get Messi
- Why are computers so messy when they eat? They take megabytes.
- Why did they invent white chocolate? So black kids could get messy too.
- I always wanted a Messi shirt But I got a clean one instead
- What does unrequited love and underwear have in common? "The end of both is messy!"
- My room is getting so messy ...that F.C. Barcelona is trying to recruit it
- What do you get when you mix Lionel Messi and Chris Brown? A striker!
Messy Divorce Jokes
Here is a list of funny messy divorce jokes and even better messy divorce puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I'm in the middle of a long and messy divorce and I've decided that s**... is the only way out… Now all I need to do is talk her into it…
- In the middle of a really messy divorce, I decided s**... was the only option. I just need to talk her into it now.
Messy Hair Jokes
Here is a list of funny messy hair jokes and even better messy hair puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I have Tindr hair.... It's messy, dry, and I swipe it to the right hoping for good looking results.
- I saw a Trump supporter in Texas the other day. His clothes were filthy, his hair was messy and he stank of alcohol. He was in a right state.
- I don't know many football players except... The one with the Messi hair
- I don't know the names of any soccer players, but One of them always has their hair pretty Messi
Messy Eater Jokes
Here is a list of funny messy eater jokes and even better messy eater puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Why does nobody like eating with Lionel? Because he is a Messi eater!
- Why are messy eaters so rude? They always have a chip on their shoulder.
Messy Room Jokes
Here is a list of funny messy room jokes and even better messy room puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- My room was messy. My Mom came and asked: "Why is everything on the floor? " Gravity mom. Gravity.
- [LPT] When cleaning a messy room start with your bed, you will have a better sense of accomplishment when you eventually give up and s**... uncontrollably.
Messy House Jokes
Here is a list of funny messy house jokes and even better messy house puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- This guy with OCD hosted a massive house party. Things didn't get pretty messy.
Uplifting Messy Jokes to have Hilarious Fun with Friends
What funny jokes about messy you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean messed up jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make messy pranks.
[OC] Why can't an orchestra made of OB/GYN doctors ever get good enough to perform a concert?
Because the C-section is always messy.
s**... is like a snowstorm...
s**... is like a snowstorm: It's advertised a beautiful, in reality gets messy very quickly, and if you take 10" overnight you are *not* moving the next day.
Anyone hear the one..
Anyone hear the one about the messy bed?
Yeah, I made it up.
I like my lovers like I like my golf score
Hand drawn, messy, and totally unconvincing.
Whenever I confront the messy baker
I'm always walking on eggshells.
I found a good bread recipe where you don't have to get your hands messy from mixing it
The bread was kneadless, to say
Out with the lads from OCD anonymous tonight.
Things aren't gonna get messy.
What's the difference between a pig and a dwarf janitor?
One is messy, and the other is a little cleaner.
Why did Ms. Frizzle get fired from teaching s**... Ed?
She told the class to take chances, make mistakes, and get messy.
A bar walks into a guy...
This'll be messy
I had an appointment with my dentist this...
...morning and she's agreed to go on a date with me tonight. My turn to give her a filling followed by a messy extraction.
My first time riding my bike was like losing my virginity....
It was good for about 30 seconds, then it got pretty messy and there was a lot of crying on my part.
True story
A few months ago one of my classmates enters a messy classroom and exclaims:
- These desks make me wanna learn sorting algorithms!
Jim was lazy, but boy was he clever.
A difficult customer walked into the shop that Jim didn't want to deal with, so he grabbed a mop and pretended to clean up a mess.
The manager came over and asked him what he was doing. After telling him that he was cleaning, the manager said, "It doesn't look messy here."
To which Jim replied, "Why, thank you!"
There's a lot of messy sports...
But soccer is the Messi-est.
Two men discussing
Man 1: I'm getting married. I'm sick and tired of my messy apartment, dirty dishes and the lack of clean things to wear.
Man 2: Hey, I'm getting divorced for the exact same reasons!
Why is it hard to make jokes about abortion?
The subject matter is funny but the delivery often gets messy.
A blonde's colleague complains that her desk is really messy
A messy desk is a sign of a messy mind he asserts.
and your desk is really empty. says the blonde.
How are Cinnabons and m**... the same
You don't want to be seen doing it in public, it is just as messy, cleanup is the same, and both have a feeling of guilt afterwards.
I was on a jungle expedition in bangladesh with some colleauges of mine, when we all came across a tiger...
It was really messy, so out of courtesy we tried wiping it off while profusely apologising.
I had a douchbag whale as a flatmate once...
I had this d**... whale as a flatmate once. He was really messy and never paid rent. Eventually the time came where I thought enough was enough and told him to leave, but, stubborn as he was, that didn't really work at all. So I hatched a plan. Late at night, when he was asleep, I secretly attached some wheels to his belly and pushed him out the door and back into the ocean and this time it worked wheely whale.
My art is like communism.
Fantastic in theory, mediocre in practice, messy in result.
A woman goes into a restaurant for her lunch break.
She sees a man sitting at a table, alone with his bowl of tomato soup. Politely she asks him: "Excuse me, sir, is this seat taken? Mind if I join you?" He answers: "No problem, ma'am. But I have to warn you, I'm a very messy eater!" She smiles and sits down, and says: "Then it was a good idea to wear a red shirt when eating tomato soup, wasn't it?" He answers: "Nope, I'm NOT wearing a red shirt..."
The bathroom had no toilet paper, and all I had to use was the money in my pocket.
So I did what had to be done.
It was tough, and a little messy.
But for a clean a**...?
it was the best 43 cents i'd ever spent.
Santa and his wife had a messy divorce after they both got colostomies.
After encouragement from friends and family, they both joined the support group for people with colostomies ironically named The Semicolon. Due to the help and support they got, they ended up remarrying.
Two independent Clauses were able to be joined as a result of The Semicolon.
