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Messi Jokes

57 messi jokes and hilarious messi puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about messi that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Love jokes? Check out these hilarious Messi jokes! From his rivalry with Ronaldo to his record-breaking football stats, this article provides an entertaining look at one of the greatest footballers in history. Laugh away as you get to know more about Messi, the legendary Barcelona and Argentina rugby superstar!

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Funniest Messi Short Jokes

Short messi jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The messi humour may include short footballer jokes also.

  1. I always thought the hole in boxer briefs was a messy idea... until I learned it goes in the front.
  2. When I was a teenager, my mom always said that your bedroom is so messy that you will never get any self-respecting girl to come back here. Luckily they weren't the ones I was going after.
  3. Why is Bon Jovi's bed always messy? Because he doesn't think it matters if you make it or not.
  4. Messy drinker A skeleton walks into a bar. The bartender says, What'll you have? The skeleton says, Gimme a beer and a mop.
  5. As I sat on the toilet this morning I was reminded of my first divorce. At first I thought it had been a clean break, but then it got messy and there was lots of paperwork.
  6. My friend has a weird quirk: he gets explosive diarrhea and just can't contain himself when he sees a certain soccer player... And boy, it's Messi.
  7. We hoped for a good clean World Cup Final. But instead we got a Messi one.
    Congrats to argentina.
  8. When Lionel Messi dies.. He should have his Argentinian team mates bury him so they can let him down one last time..
  9. Sitting on the toilet this morning, I was reminded of my recent divorce. At first I thought I thought I was in for a clean break, but then it got messy and there was lots of paperwork.
  10. My friend and I were having a heated argument about the angle of a triangle Things got messy and we went off tangent

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Messi One Liners

Which messi one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with messi? I can suggest the ones about rugby and goalkeeper.

  1. My son played soccer in the mud all day. He was a little Messi.
  2. Why does C. Ronaldo comb his hair every game break? So it won't get too Messi.
  3. My pet pig loves soccer. Usually he plays clean but as soon as he's in mud he's Messi.
  4. Why did the soccer player have to ask for a bib at the restaurant? Because he was Messi
  5. Why is Cristiano Ronaldo's room always clean? Because he's not Messi.
  6. Why are kidney donors' houses so messy? They are disorganized.
  7. Basketball players are very messy eaters They're always dribbling
  8. Why is Argentina struggling so much in the World Cup? Their style of play is too Messi!
  9. I heard Barcelona is ironing out a new deal with their best player. It might get Messi
  10. Why are computers so messy when they eat? They take megabytes.
  11. Why did they invent white chocolate? So black kids could get messy too.
  12. I always wanted a Messi shirt But I got a clean one instead
  13. What does unrequited love and underwear have in common? "The end of both is messy!"
  14. My room is getting so messy ...that F.C. Barcelona is trying to recruit it
  15. What do you get when you mix Lionel Messi and Chris Brown? A striker!

Ronaldo And Messi Jokes

Here is a list of funny ronaldo and messi jokes and even better ronaldo and messi puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • ronaldo and Messi will finally both meet each other during the World Cup... at an Airport as they return their respective home countries.
  • Who is the best player in the world? Like for Ronaldo

    Love for Messi
    Haha for your ex
  • Why is Ronaldo tidy? Because he does not want to be called Messi.
  • [FUT] I hate when I accidently switch out Messi instead of Ronaldo Oops, wrong sub

Lionel Messi Jokes

Here is a list of funny lionel messi jokes and even better lionel messi puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What is Lionel Messi's favorite soft drink? Si, era Missed
  • Why does nobody like eating with Lionel? Because he is a Messi eater!
  • Lionel Messi used to be the GOAT Now he's just ba-aaa-aaad
  • Why did Lionel Messi cross the road? to retrieve his penalty kick
  • That €8.5 million penalty Lionel has to pay... Sure cleaned up that messy business.
  • Did you hear about the most recent FIFA scandal? Turns out Lionel was a little Messi in his financial records.
  • Lionel Messi is overrated.
  • Lionel Messi might just redefine s**... and PHYSICS Because he doesn't any space to score
Messi joke, Lionel Messi might just redefine s**... and PHYSICS

Messi joke, Lionel Messi might just redefine s**... and PHYSICS

Uproarious Messi Jokes to Share with Friends

What funny jokes about messi you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean football jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make messi pranks.

After a freak accident; Zlatan, Messi and Ronaldo enter the kingdom of heaven.

Messi is first to be judged by the lord, God looks upon Messi and says "Messi, you shall sit on my right side" and Messi takes his rightful place.
Ronaldo is next up and God tell him "Ah, Ronaldo, You shall be seated at my left side for eternity"
Then Zlatan walks up and says "Move over, you are in my spot"

Cristiano Ronaldo Went to the barbershop for a new haircut.

He went home to his girlfriend and asked, "Well what do you think?". She took a couple of minutes looking his new hair cut over and replied "Well... at least it's not Messi".

My cousin is obsessed with football (soccer). So when I entered his room...

When I entered his room and saw that it was covered in posters of a famous Argentinian player, I thought to myself...
That's a Messi room.

Messi, Ronaldo and Zlatan died in a car c**... and goes to heaven.

The three walks up to God sitting on his throne. God says:
"Messi, what is the best thing about football?"
Messi bows and answers:
"The best thing about football is that I have been able to spread joy to people, earn money for my living and seeing the world." God felt it was a good answerr>when he said: "Good Messi, come and sit at my left side."
God then looked at Ronaldo and said: "And you Ronaldo, what is the best thing about football?
Ronaldo responds a little timidly:
"Lord, I come from poor backgrounds and have managed to show my fellow human beings that there is a way out of it all and that you do not have to be doomed to a life of misery. Meanwhile, I was able to spread joy to the people. "
God replied: "Good answer Ronaldo, come and sit on my right side.".
God then looked at Zlatan and said: "What do you think then Zlatan?"
Zlatan looks up, clears his t**..., spits on the ground and says:
"You're sitting in my chair."

I've been messing about with my ouija board and i asked it if i was gonna get laid tonight.

The pointer keeps gliding between the H and the A. It's been half an hour now....

If football had never existed,

Messi would've been just a normal guy. Maybe I'm the best player of a sport that doesn't exist and that's why I'm a normal guy.

Dragon Ball Z is real.

Messi collected 7 golden b**... and successfully wished for a world cup.

Did you hear about the Barcelona football star who got busted for tax evasion?

They said his tax returns were Messi.

Before he was a footballer, Messi used to be a stand-up comedian

He had to quit because his jokes kept flying over the audience's heads.

BREAKING: Messi has just been substituted by a noob player, these are the words of the coach post-game!

"Ah woops, wrong sub"

What did Messi say in his goodbye letter to the soccer goal

You will be missed

There was this former soccer star...

who quit at the peak of his career. When a reporter asked him why, he replied It was Messi business.

TIL A ref can show a player the red card for a loud f**... ...

even if it isn't Messi.

Argentinians like their s**... the same way they like their football.

Messi.

Messi joke, Why did Lionel Messi cross the road?