The Best 35 Messi Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Messi jokes. There are some messi game jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these messi barcelona puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Messi Jokes and Puns

Why does C. Ronaldo comb his hair every game break?

So it won't get too Messi.

The German players enjoyed some Argentinian steak today...

but it was a little Messi

Before he was a footballer, Messi used to be a stand-up comedian

He had to quit because his jokes kept flying over the audience's heads.

Messi joke, Before he was a footballer, Messi used to be a stand-up comedian

Why did the soccer player have to ask for a bib at the restaurant?

Because he was Messi

My son played soccer in the mud all day.

He was a little Messi.

When Lionel Messi dies..

He should have his Argentinian team mates bury him so they can let him down one last time..

I just used the messiest urinal...

If you ever see the model "Dyson Airblade" just go use a regular toilet. If you'll excuse me, I need a shower.

Messi joke, I just used the messiest urinal...

Why does nobody like eating with Lionel?

Because he is a Messi eater!

Did you hear about the most recent FIFA scandal?

Turns out Lionel was a little Messi in his financial records.

Why did Lionel Messi cross the road?

to retrieve his penalty kick

Argentinians like their sex the same way they like their football.


You can explore messi rugby reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean messi goalkeeper dad jokes. There are also messi puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

TIL A ref can show a player the red card for a loud fart ...

even if it isn't Messi.

Did you hear about the Barcelona football star who got busted for tax evasion?

They said his tax returns were Messi.

I've been messing about with my ouija board and i asked it if i was gonna get laid tonight.

The pointer keeps gliding between the H and the A. It's been half an hour now....

BREAKING: Messi has just been substituted by a noob player, these are the words of the coach post-game!

"Ah woops, wrong sub"

If football had never existed,

Messi would've been just a normal guy. Maybe I'm the best player of a sport that doesn't exist and that's why I'm a normal guy.

Messi joke, If football had never existed,

My friend has a weird quirk: he gets explosive diarrhea and just can't contain himself when he sees a certain soccer player...

And boy, it's Messi.

Cristiano Ronaldo Went to the barbershop for a new haircut.

He went home to his girlfriend and asked, "Well what do you think?". She took a couple of minutes looking his new hair cut over and replied "Well... at least it's not Messi".

With all this rioting and and protest in Catalonia the situation is getting pretty...


There was this former soccer star...

who quit at the peak of his career. When a reporter asked him why, he replied It was Messi business.

Why is Cristiano Ronaldo's room always clean?

Because he's not Messi.

Why did the soccer player need a shower?

Because he was Messi

What did Messi say in his goodbye letter to the soccer goal

You will be missed

Messi won a beauty pageant before

He was crowned Miss Penalty

I always wanted a Messi shirt

But I got a clean one instead

Why is Argentina struggling so much in the World Cup?

Their style of play is too Messi!

Lionel Messi used to be the GOAT

Now he's just ba-aaa-aaad

According to reports, Argentina are picking their own team for the game against Nigeria, and are split from their coach tactics and opinions...

Sounds like it's getting Messi.

Ronaldo and Messi will finally both meet each other during the World Cup...

at an Airport as they return their respective home countries.

Why don't people like playing soccer against Argentina?

It gets a little Messi.

Why does Messi train alone?

Because he's a Barca loner

Lionel Messi might just redefine SEX and PHYSICS

Because he doesn't any space to score

What do you get when you mix Lionel Messi and Chris Brown?

A striker!

My pet pig loves soccer.

Usually he plays clean but as soon as he's in mud he's Messi.

My cousin is obsessed with football (soccer). So when I entered his room...

When I entered his room and saw that it was covered in posters of a famous Argentinian player, I thought to myself...

That's a Messi room.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the messi argentina jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working messi cristiano piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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