Mermaid Jokes
131 mermaid jokes and hilarious mermaid puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about mermaid that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
This is a collection of the funniest mermaid jokes. If you're looking for a good laugh, then look no further. These jokes will have you in stitches.
Quick Jump To
- Short Mermaid Jokes
- Mermaid One Liners
- Little Mermaid Jokes
- Mermaid Man Jokes
- Mermaid Bra Jokes
- Ariel Mermaid Jokes
- More Mermaid Jokes
Funniest Mermaid Short Jokes
Short mermaid jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The mermaid humour may include short sea creature jokes also.
- Why did the mermaid rush out of her maths exam, red faced and embarrassed? Because her algaebra didn't hold up.
- How does a pregnant mermaid give birth? "Sea-section"
Sorry, I thought of that last night and just had to share my genius with the world. - What does a mermaid wear to a Maths class ? An algaebra.
Note: Not my original. I had read this somewhere a few years ago. Kudos to the original creator. - Why does the little mermaid wear sea-shells? Cause B-shells are too small, and D- shells are too big.
- Do you know why the Little Mermaid wore seashells? Because she was too small for D shells.
- What do math and mermaids have in common? They both have an alge-bra.
- Why did the mermaid wear sea shells? Cause she was too big for B- shells!
- What is the opposite of a Mermaid... ... a landlord!!
- What does a mermaid wear to math class An algae-bra
I'm not sorry - Why did the Little Mermaid run away with the fisherman? He had allure.
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Mermaid One Liners
Which mermaid one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with mermaid? I can suggest the ones about medusa and sea animal.
- Why did the mermaid wear seashells? Because she grew out of b shells
- Why did the mermaid wear seashells? She grew outta her beeshells!!!
- What kind of STD's do fish get? Merm-aids
- Why was the mermaid kicked out of Geometry class? She forgot her Algae-bra.
- Why do mermaids wear sea shells? B shell aren't big enough.
- What did the mermaid forget to bring to math class? Her algae bra
- What STD do sailors get the most? Merm-aids
(Inspired by a Family Guy joke) - Why do mermaids wear seashells? Because B shells are too small and D shells are too big.
- How do mermaids give birth? A sea section.
- What do you call a mermaid prostitutes? Water Hose.
- Why does the little mermaid wear seashells? Because she's too big for B shells
- What does a mermaid mathematician wear? An algae bra!
- Why does the Little Mermaid wear seashells? She outgrew her B-shells.
- I know The Little Mermaid's breast size. It's obvious. She's wearing C-shells.
- Why does the little mermaid wear sea shells? She's not big enough for d shells.
Little Mermaid Jokes
Here is a list of funny little mermaid jokes and even better little mermaid puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What do the Washington Metro system and the Little Mermaid have in common? They're both under DC.
- Why does the Little Mermaid wear a seashell bra? Because she outgrew her B shells.
- Was The Little Mermaid directed by a pilot? Because it's mostly Ariel footage.
- What does the Little Mermaid put on before math class? An Algebra
- I need help. Whenever I call my redheaded wife "my little mermaid" she always lights up How else can I politely say "your bottom half smells like fish"?
- How do you take a picture of the Little Mermaid? Using Ariel photography. (If that doesn't work, try your shell phone.)
- Why couldn't the little mermaid get into college? Her GPA was unda da C.
- How can we tell that Ariel, The Little Mermaid, is a horrible student? Even on a curve, her grades are always under the 'C'.
- What kind of bra did the Little Mermaid wear? An Algebra
(Algae Bra) - What swims slightly faster than a shark? The Little Mermaid on her period.
Mermaid Man Jokes
Here is a list of funny mermaid man jokes and even better mermaid man puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- How do we know a blind man created mermaids? He smelled the bottom half of a woman..
- A man fell in love with a mermaid Everything went on smoothly until his mother began to smell something fishy.
- What did Columbus actually see when he thought he saw mermaids? Man-a-tease!
- How does a mermaid give a man head? She blows him out of the water
- If a Woman says you're "u**..."... ...she means "you're unattractive". If a Man says you're "u**..." it means "you're a Mermaid"
Mermaid Bra Jokes
Here is a list of funny mermaid bra jokes and even better mermaid bra puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- what did the mermaid wear to the maths class? An "algae bra"
- What does a Mermaid bring to math class? An algae-bra.
- What kind of underwear does a math-obsessed mermaid wear? An algae bra.
- Wat did the mermaid wear to her math exam? An algae-bra.
- What did the mermaid wear to the math class? Algae-bra
P.S not my own . Reposting someone's original from years ago. Kudos to him - Why was the mermaid embarrassed and crying in the classroom? She forgot her Algae-bra. Ha..
Ariel Mermaid Jokes
Here is a list of funny ariel mermaid jokes and even better ariel mermaid puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Why do drones get so many pictures of mermaids? They're Ariel photographers
- Why do mermaids wear bras? To cover up their Ariel-as.
- What's the difference between a dirty bus station and Ariel from Little Mermaid? One is a crusty bus station, and one is a b**... crustacean.
Uproarious Mermaid Jokes to Share with Friends
What funny jokes about mermaid you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean marine jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make mermaid pranks.
My girlfriend is like a mermaid
She looks like a woman from the waist up and smells like a fish from the waist down.
How did the mermaid get into a car c**...?
...because she was fish tailing!
How do mermaids have babies?
Sea-sections
Why do mermaids wear sea shells?
Because they can't fit in d-shells.
WALKS INTO A BAR... MERMAID s**...
An old man walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender notices the guy's head is the size of a cue ball.
"I got to ask, sir," says the bartender. "What happened?"
The old guy sighs and tells him, "My ship was torpedoed by the Germans in WWII. A mermaid rescued me and promised to grant me three wishes. For my first wish, I asked to return to the States. My second wish was to have all the money I would ever need. Finally, my third wish was to have s**... with the mermaid."
"That doesn't sound too bad," says the bartender. "Then what happened?"
"Well," sighs the man, "mermaids can't have s**..., so I asked her if I could just have a little head... ."
What do you call a samoan Mermaid?
A walrus.
What did the mermaid wear for math class?
Algaebra
What does a mermaid wear to math class?
An "algebra"
So my brother is dating a mermaid.
Yeah, apparently their relationship's on the rocks.
mermaid procreation
how does a mermaid give birth?
sea section
What do you call a mermaid cop?
A Police Siren!
A man walks into a bar...
An old man walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender notices the guy's head is the size of a cue ball.
"I got to ask, sir," says the bartender. "What happened?"
The old guy sighs and tells him, "My ship was torpedoed by the Germans in WWII. A mermaid rescued me and promised to grant me three wishes. For my first wish, I asked to return to the States. My second wish was to have all the money I would ever need. Finally, my third wish was to have s**... with the mermaid."
"That doesn't sound too bad," says the bartender. "Then what happened?"
"Well," sighs the man, "mermaids can't have s**..., so I asked her if I could just have a little head... ."
What does a math mermaid wear?
An algeabra....
What does a Nymphomaniac Mermaid crave for?
"s**..."
Why did the hipster mermaid leave the sea?
It was too current.
Two fishermen caught a mermaid.
One of them holding the mermaid in his arms looked at her attentively and threw her back into the sea.
But why? - asked the other fisherman.
But how? - answered the first one.
How did the mermaid p**... make all her money?
Blue whales
Was told to turn on the water hose
I was told to turn on the water hose.
Responded
"I don't know anything about mermaid sexuality"
What did the lobster say when he saw the mermaid?
Gotta lay off the sea-w**....
Why did the comedian mermaid die ?
Because it had a dry sense of humor .
Manatees
A Spanish sailor and a French sailor are talking at a port bar together. The French sailor tells the Spanish sailor that he's been hearing stories of mermaids from the English sailors. The Spanish sailor says that mermaids are just a myth and the English just mistook manatees for mermaids. The French sailor asks how could you mistake a manatee for a mermaid? The Spanish sailor responds "Have you seen English women?"
(Corny)-What do you call a mermaid on a roof?
Aerial
Society is full of double standards
For example, when Ariel from The Little Mermaid swims around half n**..., singing with her underwater friends, people say that she is "sweet" and "beautiful"
But when I do it, people say that I'm "drunk" and "no longer welcome at the aquarium".
Sailor with a Small Head
One day, a man sees a sailor walking around, and he notices that the sailor has a very small head.
The man asks the sailor, "Why is your head so small?" The sailor replies, "When I was sailing, I saw a beautiful mermaid, and she said she would grant me one wish. And you know what, I thought about it for a while, until a brilliant idea struck. I went over to the mermaid, and asked, 'How about a little head?'"
What do mermaids wash their fin with?
Tide
What do you call a mermaid o**...?
Polymermaid
You guys hear about the half of a mermaid that washed up on shore?
It's only a tale...
Why do mermaids wear sea shells?
Because they outgrew their B-Shells. 😉
Why did the heavyset mermaid wear a turtleneck?
So you wouldn't sea urchins!
I overheard a mermaid sitting behind me on the bus...
"I like to sit on the beach, but my other half likes to swim"
A mermaid finally got off the couch and hit the gym once she found a dolphin physical trainer.
She moved with a porpoise.
What does a math-loving mermaid usually wear?
Algebra.
Mermaid Mafia
Did you hear the one about the mermaid p**... that got on the wrong side of the Mafia?
She's sleeping with the fishes now.
What does a mermaid use to clean her tail?
Tide!
The little mermaid asked the prince: what so you like more-h**..., or v**... s**...? to which the prince replied:
Darling it's better
Down where it's wetter
Take it from me
What do you call a male mermaid?
A merbutler.
What Do Mermaids Wash Their Clothes With?
Tide.
Why does a mermaid wear sea shells?
She outgrew her B shells
What does a mermaid wash their fins with?
Tide
Who cleans the sea?
A mer-maid
Why do mermaids wear sea shells?
Because the B shells are too tight
how do mermaids give birth?
they get a sea-section
Three fishermen catch a mermaid. If they agree to set her free, she will grant them each a wish. The first guy says, "OK, I want you to double my I.Q." Immediately, the guy recites Shakespeare flawlessly. The second guy asks the mermaid to triple his I.Q.
Suddenly, he's spouting complicated mathematical solutions. Impressed, the last guy asks the mermaid to quintuple his I.Q. The mermaid hesitates and asks, "Are you sure that's what you really want?" "Absolutely!" says the man. The mermaid smiles. Instantly, the third man turns into a woman.
Why do mermaids wear sea shells?
Because B shells are too small.
Two English gentlemen are fishing on a boat
As they are both fishing in silence, as gentlemen do, the one gets a big pull on his line. After a fair amount of fighting, he pulls a beautiful mermaid out of the water. As he is holding her, he looks at her head to tail: top half woman, and from the waist down fish.
The mermaid looks at him straight in the eye with an amorous look. Then, without saying a word, he drops her back into the water.
His friend, in complete disbelief, exclaims: "But why?"
To which the first replies: "But how?"
Why did the mermaid stop dieting?
She was too fin.
Where do mermaids go to watch movies?
The dive in.
