Mere Jokes
37 mere jokes and hilarious mere puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about mere that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Quick Jump To
Funniest Mere Short Jokes
Short mere jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The mere humour may include short mare jokes also.
- People were astounded to find a stringed instrument hidden within the dry well but it was merely more evidence of the violins inherent in the cistern.
- Whenever someone says they did something, "like a boss", I assume that means they didn't do it at all and are merely taking credit for it.
- Today, I saw a painting unveiled at a museum, but it was merely a red dot on canvas. It must have been a period piece.
- Did you hear about the indignant thief who was caught robbing a furniture store? He claimed he was being penalised for merely taking a stand.
- When I was a kid I thought our family's cat looked like Timon from The Lion King so I thought he was a meerkat. Turns out he was just a mere cat.
- Apparently Newton wasn't the first to invent calculus, it was Leibniz. So Newton's work was merely derivative
- Once I performed a stage show that was nothing but puns. The critics panned it as merely being a "play on words".
- Russia is merely a buffer state. If it was not for the peaceful landmass, North Korea and Norway would be at each other's throats.
- "The Hobbit" was one man's gift to the world A mere Tolkien of appreciation for all the world had done for him
- I break out into a cold sweat at the mere thought of a card-based roll-playing game The doctor says I have PTSD&D
Share These Mere Jokes With Friends
Mere One Liners
Which mere one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with mere? I can suggest the ones about mate and aver.
- Earth is the best planet... The mere rotation of it makes my day!
- Whats the difference between Simba and Timon? Simba is a lion, and Timon is a mere cat.
- At first, I was merely a stock trading enthusiast… …but now I'm fully invested.
- I got kicked out of Microsoft store ... I was merely scratching the Surface ...
- A famous British boxer threw an object at me. It turned out to be a mere can!
- At my prime I was A Beast. Today I'm merely Obese.
- I like to think that I'm a tiger... even though I'm a mere cat.
- Zeus Cast Down A Sacred Pile of Cloth for Mere Mortals to Sleep On Mortals: Holy Sheet!
- What's the definition of a mere myth? A pirate ship thailing clothe to an itheberg
- My wine drinking is merely functional... My personality is better with a little marinade.
- Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
- Batman as a glove that can turn into a racket in mere seconds. It's his BatMitten.
- What car does Brockhampton hate the most? A mere van.
- When England exit a competition It's merely an Exit.. so much less complicated.
- Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
Share Hilarious Mere Jokes and Enjoy Unforgettable Laughter
What funny jokes about mere you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean pare jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make mere pranks.
An Easter joke.
A priest was arguing with a rabbi.
"What is great in our religion", says the priest, "is that there is room for advancement. A humble village priest can become a bishop, an archbishop, a cardinal, who knows?, maybe even the Pope!"
The rabbi answers: "What about the Almighty? Can he become the Almighty?"
"Certainly not!", responds the priest, "what a sacrilegious thought! No mere mortal man can aspire to become the Almighty!"
The rabbi retorts: "One of our boys made it!"
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because it had crippling depression, it was constantly reminded that it's life was worthless to those it was looked down on by. A mere piece of meat, not a living creature, worthy of respect, and dignity. It didn't want to live in a constant state of fear and depression, knowing that it's only purpose in life would be death. So it escaped the farm, and took off to the highway... it saw the lights, and though the creature feared death, it was relieved to be free from the fear that plagued it.
So in short... to get to the other side.
So a man one day gains the ability to make a car made of coins.
It's acceleration was a quarter faster than a dragster, the frame costed mere pennies, and the interior was full nickel, but people didn't think it made cents.
A news reporter rushes to the man in awe, asking, but does it even have brakes? The man simply looked back and said "Of course. It stops on a dime."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Trading humans like mere goods is highly i**... and immoral.
Unless you are a football team manager.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I went to the movies yesterday, and I met the most insensitive homophobe there
I mean, just the mere sight of me m**... sent him off on a rant about "morals" and "his children" and "security".
The price motion detectors has gradually decreased over time to the point where they're mere pennies.
There's a great book about this called "Cents and Sensibility"
You tell your friend that you once viewed an art gallery with 100's of paintings, in a mere second
Friend: "You're lying"
You: "Haha why?"
Friend: "The human eye can only see 60 frames per second"
The President of Russia walks into Melania's bedroom
and offers her cash in exchange
for ten minutes of pleasure.
"Vlad, a mere $10,000?
I ain't Putin out!"
How do we know that Unidan was a conspiracy theorist?
He didn't believe jackdaw sightings were mere crow-incidents.
A 401K is a really long foot race that people spend years building up for.
To run a 5K is mere child's play.
A talk with the Boss.
Boss: "Since you've started here, a year ago, you went from a mere assistant to regional manager, what can you say about that?"
Dude: "Thanks dad."
