Merchant Jokes
21 merchant jokes and hilarious merchant puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about merchant that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Discover some of the funniest jokes based on merchant related themes like the Merchant of Venice, the Merchant Navy, the Merchant Marine, builders merchants, grocers, and more. With jokes for all ages, you'll be sure to find a chuckle at the local market, emporium, or online marketplace.
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Funniest Merchant Short Jokes
Short merchant jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The merchant humour may include short vendor jokes also.
- A merchant told another "I'll trade you a barium atom and two sodiums for that weight measuring device." "BaNaNa for scale?"
- A merchant had been selling salt and pepper for 30 years... He's a pretty seasoned salesman
- What happens if you befriend Karl Marx while watching a rug merchant's scam? He becomes your Con-rad.
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Merchant One Liners
Which merchant one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with merchant? I can suggest the ones about commercial and dealer.
- Why can't your PC handle naval merchant vessels? It doesn't have a USB-seaport!
- What does the cabbage merchant use to fix his cabbages? A cabbage patch! - Sokka
- What do you call a Jewish astronaut? Merchant of Venus
- Why was Muhammad a successful merchant? Because he was god's profit.
- Why did the failed merchant slip and fell? There was no purchase
- Why was the merchant murdered? He was a trader to the crown.
- I guess you can say trusting a Russian merchant is pretty... Roosky business
- What do you call a man who sells clockwork toys? A Wind-up Merchant.
Humorous Merchant Jokes to Bring Fun and Laughter to Your Life
What funny jokes about merchant you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean seller jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make merchant pranks.
"Oh man, Juan Valdez died this morning."
Ok, so it's not a 'joke' joke, but that's what you say. Maybe at work, at the bar with friends. Say it in a lull in the conversation. If you're really good, say it while scanning the paper or a news site.
Some people go, "oh!" And some people say, "wait, the Colombian coffee merchant?" and some people say, "oh my god, he *did?*" People always say something.
And then *you* say, "he did, he was assassinated. Someone from a drug cartel shot him with a golf gun. Bizarre story."
And you leave it there.
And if someone presses further, perhaps mention how terrible it must be to get shot by a golf gun.
And you'll eventually be asked, "what's a golf gun?"
To which you say, "don't know, but it sure made a hole in Juan!"
A man and his wife are touring Egypt.
While looking at the pyramids, a local merchant calls them over. He offers the man 100 camels in exchange for his wife. The man takes a few minutes, but ultimately refuses the offer and the two go on their way. A bit later the man's wife asks him, "What took you so long to say no?". The man replies, "I was trying to think of a way to bring 100 camels back home!"
I was trying to find out where my local pelt-merchant was hosting a Lupine Designs fashion gala for his fellow lycanthropes this year
So I asked Where is the werewolf's wolf-wares warehouse where werewolves wear wolves' wares?
A wise man is walking through a market with a bag of gold.
As he passes the various sellers, a merchant quickly lights some incense and a beautiful aroma fills the air. It's frankincense, the merchant says. The best in the land.
The wise man gets some and is about to leave when the merchant calls out, But wait ... there's myrrh!
When traveling the coast, a struggling merchant and his wife come accross a giant beached whale with gold coins oozing from its mouth. When his wife asked if they should take the gold for themselves, the merchant replied...
"Midas whale"
One day, a merchant set up a sign in front of his stall: "Mandarins - $500 each"
A man comes up and asks the merchant:
"Why are they so expensive? No one's going to pay that much for a mandarin!"
The merchant replies:
"You don't know how much I spent on forging his working visa"
What do you call a really really big ant?
A GIANT!
Now what do you call a baby ant?
an Infant!
What do you call an ant thats into business?
A Merchant!
please post more ant jokes if you know of any.
