Mercedes Benz Jokes
43 mercedes benz jokes and hilarious mercedes benz puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about mercedes benz that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Mercedes Benz Short Jokes
Short mercedes benz jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The mercedes benz humour may include short new mercedes jokes also.
- BMW tried to make an amphibious vehicle... Mercedes and BMW started selling amphibious vehicles. Soon, however, BMW was forced to stop selling them, as their customer's kept getting the Benz.
- So a police officer is called out to the scene where a Mercedes is wrapped around a tree, He said "Well, I guess that's the way the Mercedes Benz"
- BMW and Mercedes used to make scuba gear... ...but eventually BMW was forced to shut down. People kept getting the Benz.
- Did you hear about the guy who crashed his car into a tree? He wanted to see how much his Mercedes Benz
- An expensive car got into an accident, so I turned to my buddy and said, "That's the way the mercedes-benz."
- Man to very beautiful airhostess:- "What's your name?"
Air hostess:- "Eva Benz.."
Man :- "Lovely name...any relation to Mercedes Benz?"
Air hostess:- (smiling) "maintenance cost is same" :D
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Mercedes Benz One Liners
Which mercedes benz one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with mercedes benz? I can suggest the ones about mercedes name and car model.
- Can a toyota stretch? No, but a Mercedes-Benz
- Why did the woman drive her car into a tree? To see how her Mercedes Benz!
- What's the common thing between Mercedes and iphone 6? Mercedes Benz...
- I crashed my family's car I've always wanted to see how a Mercedes-Benz.
- Doesn't matter how many CDs you have... Benz has Mercedes.
- Crashed My Car Into A Tree... And I learned how the Mercedes Benz.
- What type of car does a washed up celebrity drive? A Mercedes Has-Benz
- Why did Thom York buy a newborn a Mercedes? Because baby's got the Benz.
- What did Thom Yorke name his 1995 Mercedes? The Benz
- A woman gets hit by a car... looks like she got to see how the Mercedes Benz
- Buddy of mine got a brand new Mercedes Benz for his Wife d**... good trade if you ask me.
- Outie belly b**... are so disgusting Mine is Mercedes-Benz
Mercedes Benz Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about mercedes benz you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean sports car jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make mercedes benz pranks.
On the plane
A businessman travels on the plane, first class. He tries to start a conversation with beautiful stewardess:
-What's your name?
-Angela Benz, sir.
-That is a beautiful name! Is there any connection with Mercedes Benz?
-Yes, sir. A very close one.
-How close?
-Same price.
I bought a used Mercedes last week...
... and I'm really happy with everything about it, except that the windshield wipers always seem to leave streaks on the driver's side while the passenger side is spotless. I tried replacing the blades, but that didn't work. So I called the guy I bought it from to see if he had any advice, and all he said was "I noticed that too. I guess the glass is always cleaner on the other side of the Benz."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What a dumb blonde... wait...
*Blonde goes into a bank
Blonde: I need a loan for $5,000.
Bank-teller: We'll need some sort of deposit.
Blonde: Ok, here's the keys to my car (Mercedes-Benz S600)
*Blonde leaves
Bank-teller(laughing): She's so s**...! Leaving a $100,000 car as a deposit for a $5,000 loan.
*Bank-teller parks car in secret underground parking garage. Then he does research on the blonde and finds out she's a multimillionaire.
Bank-teller: She's an idiot! Why would she borrow $5,000 if she's a multimillionaire?
*Two weeks later
*Blonde comes back and pays bank-teller $5,000 with $15.41 interest
Bank-teller: Why would you borrow $5,000 and leave an expensive car here if you're a multimillionaire?
Blonde: Where else in New York City can you park a $100,000 car for two weeks for only $15.41 and expect it not to get stolen?
*
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
If you want to change your life significantly just walk to the Mercedes-Benz 600 standing at the junction, take a brick and throw it into the windshield.
My dad tried to translate a joke from Spanish to English once.
His English translation:
There was a man driving his Mercedes on a deserted road at night. He reached an old rickety bridge that didn't look strong enough to hold his car. He got out and went to inspect the bridge, and stomped all the way to the other side to make sure it was safe. He decided it was, and turned back to his car and said Mercedes, come.
That's is that's the joke.
Fun fact, in Spanish, the word for -come- is ven and in Spanish, the v sound is pronounced more like the b sound. Mercedes Benz... get it.
Not all jokes translate well.
There was an ad in the newspaper Mercedes Benz for 10$.Everyone thought it was some sort of a prank so pretty much everyone ignored it
One gentleman out of curiosity went to the mentioned address.He rang the doorbell and an old looking lady came to greet him. He asked to see the car which was for sale.The lady took him to the garage and there it was a silver mercedes in the best looking condition.
The man made sure to get the papers checked and after getting the keys to the car and the papers he asked the lady I can't help myself but wonder why sell this at such ridiculously low price. The old lady smiled and said I'm just fulfilling my husband's last wish to sell the car and give the money to his second wife
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A man in a Mercedes-Benz picks a hitchiker up.
After a while, the hitchiker points at the Mercedes emblem and asks "What is that?"
The driver says "It's an optical sight. Every time I put someone in the crosshairs, I run them over. Here, look at this pedestrian". The driver pointed his car at the pedestrian, but turned away in the last moment. However, at the same time, the hitchiker opened and closed the door.
After that, the hitchhiker said "Your sight s**.... We wouldn't have hit him if I hadn't opened the door."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Welfare Check
A guy walked into the local welfare office to pick up his check. He marched
straight up to the counter and said,"Hi. You know...., I just HATE drawing
welfare. I'd really rather have a job."
The social worker behind the counter said, "Your timing is excellent. We
just got a job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a Chauffeur and
bodyguard for his beautiful daughter. You'll drive his 2011 Mercedes-Benz CL
and he will supply all of your clothes.
"Because of the long hours, meals will be provided. You'll also be expected
to e**... the daughter on her overseas holiday trips. This is rather awkward
to say, but you will also as part of your job description have to satisfy
her s**... urges. The daughter is in her mid-20's and has a rather strong
s**... drive."
The guy in wide-eyed amazement said, "You're kidding me!"
The social worker said: "Yeah, well ... You started it".
smart blonde joke
A blonde walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the Loan officer. She says she's going to Europe on business for two weeks and Needs to borrow $5,000.
The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for the loan, so the blonde hands over the keys to a new Mercedes Benz SL 500.
The car is parked on the street in front of the bank, she has the title and everything checks out. The bank agrees to accept the car collateral for the loan.
The bank's president and its officers all enjoy a good laugh at the blond for using a $110,000 Benz as collateral against a $5,000 loan.
An employee of the bank then proceeds to drive the Benz into the bank's underground garage and parks it there. Two weeks later, the blonde returns, repays the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to $15.41.
The loan officer says, "Miss, we are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multimillionaire.
What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow $5,000?"
The blonde replies, "Where else in New York City can I park my Car for two weeks for only $15.41 and expect it to be there when I return?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Southern Ladies
Three southern ladies are sitting on a porch, talking about how much their husbands love them. The first lady says, "My husband loves me so much! He bought me this diamond ring!" The second lady responds, "Oh my!" and the third lady says, "Isn't that nice". The second lady then boasts to her friends, "Well, my husband loves me more! He bought me a Mercedes Benz!" The first lady gasps, "Golly! he does love you!" The third lady says, "Isn't that nice". They then proceed to sip their tea when the first lady looks over at the third and says, "Well, doesn't your husband love you? What did he buy you?" The third lady raises her eyebrows, looks at her and says, "My husband sent me to finishing school, so instead of saying f**... You' I say, 'Isn't that nice!'".
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A guy walks into a...
A guy walks into a local welfare office to pick up his check. He marched straight up to the counter and said,"Hi. You know...., I just HATE drawing welfare. I'd really rather have a job." The social worker behind the counter said, "Your timing is excellent. We just got a job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a Chauffeur and bodyguard for his beautiful daughter.
You'll drive his 2011 Mercedes-Benz CL and he will supply all of your clothes. "Because of the long hours, meals will be provided. You'll also be expected to e**... the daughter on her overseas holiday trips. This is rather awkward to say, but you will also as part of your job description have to satisfy her s**... urges. The daughter is in her mid-20's and has a rather strong s**... drive." The guy in wide-eyed amazement said, "You're bullshittin' me!"
The social worker said: "Yeah, well ... You started it".
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Welfare Check
A guy walked into the local welfare office to pick up his check.
He marched straight up to the counter and said, "Hi.. You know...., I just HATE drawing welfare. I'd really rather have a job.
The welfare clerk behind the counter said, Your timing is excellent. We just got a job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a Chauffeur and bodyguard for his beautiful daughter. You'll have to drive around in his 2011 Mercedes-Benz CL, and he will supply all of your clothes.
"Because of the long hours, meals will be provided. You'll also be expected to e**... the daughter on her overseas holiday trips. This is rather awkward to say but you will also have as part of your job assignment to satisfy her s**... urges as the daughter is in her mid-20's and has a rather strong s**... drive."
The guy, just plain wide-eyed, said, "You're bullshittin' me!
The welfare clerk said, "Yeah, well ... You started it."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A guy walks into a welfare office...
to pick up his check. He marched
straight up to the counter and said, "Hi. You know, I just HATE drawing
welfare. I'd really rather have a job."
The social worker behind the counter said, "Your timing is excellent. We just got a job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a chauffeur and bodyguard for his beautiful daughter. You'll have to drive around in his 2011 Mercedes-Benz CL, and he will supply all of your clothes.
"Because of the long hours, meals will be provided. You'll also be expected to e**... the daughter on her overseas holiday trips.
This is rather awkward to say but you will also have, as part of your job, the assignment to satisfy her s**... urges as the daughter is in her mid-20's and has a rather strong s**... drive."
The guy, just plain wide-eyed, said, "You're bullshittin' me!"
The social worker said, "Yeah, well ... You started it."