Mental Jokes

Funniest Mental Short Jokes

Short mental jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The mental humour may include short mind jokes also.

1. At a mental hospital, one patient keeps yelling "I am a messenger of God! I am a messenger of God!" "I didn't send anybody" says someone in the adjacent room.
2. Statistics say that 60% of women take medication for mental illness, Which means 40% aren't taking their medication.
3. This is a frightening statistic 25% of the women in this country are on medication for mental illness!
   That's scary!
   It means 75% are running around untreated!
4. The doctor asked Fred if anyone in the family suffers from mental illness. Fred replied: "No, we all seem to rather enjoy it."
5. Cat with mental disorder The psychiatrist just diagnosed my cat for having dissociative identity disorder.
   She now have 45 lives.
6. My psychiatrist asked me if anyone else suffered from mental illness in my family. I answered " No they all seem to enjoy it"
7. The vet determined that my horse constantly imagines himself to be homeless. He has been declared mentally unstable.
8. There's no pleasing my wife sometimes. She wanted help with the housework so I got my girlfriend to come round and she went mental.
9. Do you know 25% of woman are seeking help for mental issues? That means 75% are not getting the help they need
10. I recently read that it's beneficial to your mental well being to share your bed with your pets... ... but in hindsight, I probably should have left them in the aquarium.

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Mental One Liners

Which mental one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with mental? I can suggest the ones about psych and mage.

1. My wife is leaving me because of my mental illness. At least thats what the cat told me.
2. I identify as an elongated fish. People say I'm mentally eel.
3. What do you call a person who kills cereal? Mentally ill.
4. What Christmas song do they play at the mental hospital? Do you see what I see?
5. Are you struggling with a mental illness? Or are you really good at it?
6. For Xmas I got you mental arithmetic. It's the thought that counts.
7. What do you call a horse that's thinking of home? Mentally in-stable.
8. My mother took to me one of those buildings where they take the mentally ill. A church.
9. My wife and I are a temperamental couple… I've got a temper and she's mental.
10. I'm thinking of joining a gym. I'm keeping mentally active.
11. What is the cutest mental disability? Awwtism
12. If mental hospitals had walkways... They'd be called psychopaths.
13. Where do you take someone who overdoses on homeopathic medicine? A mental hospital
14. What do they do at a prom for a school of the mentally disabled? Slow dance.
15. What do you call a horse with good mental health? Stable

Mental Hospital Jokes

Here is a list of funny mental hospital jokes and even better mental hospital puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• A man who thinks he's a piece of luggage has been admitted to a mental hospital. Psychiatrists say he's the strangest case they've ever come across.
• What's the best way to get to the mental hospital? Take the psychopath!!
• Whats the difference between the psychiatrists and the patients at a mental hospital? The patients are the ones who eventually get better and get to go home.
• A police officer arrested a man who was in a mental hospital. The officer busted a nut.
• What person shows you around a mental hospital? Tour-ettes :)
• What animal do psychiatrists bring in to mental hospitals to help patients with social anxiety? Squirrels; they're the best at getting nuts out of their shells.
• Why was the musician in hospital? Because he was instru-mental!
• What do you call a mental hospital's corridors? Psycho paths
• Why did the gay man sue the mental hospital? They held him in a straightjacket.
• Swimmer's mental problems An Egyptian swimmer and a French swimmer were recently taken to a mental hospital.
  One was in denial and the other was insane.

Mental Patient Jokes

Here is a list of funny mental patient jokes and even better mental patient puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• My friend wanted to make a language that was easy for mental patients to speak But I told him that the idea was crazy talk.
• In a mental asylum Patient 1: "Doctor, I am a messenger of god!"
  Patient next door: "Liar! I haven't send you anywhere!"
• A psychiatric patient believed he was running with the bulls. He was mentally in Spain.
• What do you call two mental patients in bed together? Two nuts in the sack.
• In front of a mental clinic, a patient was pulling a rope. Doctor: why are you pulling that rope?
  Patient: what do you want me to do, push it?!
• In Germany it's common for mentally ill patients to be committed to least ten different facilities. They're in-zehn asylums.
• A patient with a mental decease walks to a doctor the doctor asks: "What's your problem?"
  The patient: "I'm paranoid about the Backstreet Boys"
  Doctor: "Tell me why"
  Patient: \*screams\*
• What does uranium have in common with a mental ward patient? They're both unstable.
• What would you call the act of giving charity or help to a Mental Patient? "Fund-a-Mental"

Mental Illness Jokes

Here is a list of funny mental illness jokes and even better mental illness puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• If you hear a supernatural voice in your head telling you to destroy statues of the Ten Commandments, you might be mentally ill. But if the voice tells you to create them instead, you might be Moses.
• Mental illness is on the increase... At least that's what the ketchup bottle told me this morning.
• I've lived with a mental illness for 5 years. I'm now single.
• Americans are the best when it comes to taking care of their mentally ill. ..they make them their President.
• Cats don't cause mental illness, new study finds They're just a symptom of it
• They say mental illness is genetic I know my kids make me crazy
• 1 out of 4 suffer from a mental illness Does this mean that the other 3 *enjoy* it?
• I'm getting really sick of all this hate for Donald Trump. It isn't nice to make fun of mentally ill people.
• If you suffer from mental illness, it always helps to remember you are not alone. Unless the mental illness is schizophrenia
• How do you repair a relationship between two mentally ill people? Crazy Glue...

Mental Health Jokes

Here is a list of funny mental health jokes and even better mental health puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• Recent research shows that horses tend to have much better mental health than other farm animals Due to their stable environment
• Hi, I'm a mental health therapist helping people to be more at peace with their lives. Check out my Instagram! I'm a content creator.
• The new Joker went to see a doctor for his mental health, but didn't make an appointment. It was a Joaquin.
• What do you call the Mental Health class at Hogwarts? Defence against the Dark Thoughts.
• Apparently people who exercise have been shown to recover better and be less at risk from mental health issues... So who said you can't run away from your problems.
• Why is crushing pop cans taxing on one's mental health? Because it's soda pressing.
• My pronouns are Rare/Medium Rare. And if you don't use these, my feelings and mental health is at steak...
• In a bid to entice republicans, Biden vows to pick up right where Reagan left off... With rapidly detiorating mental health.
• My mental health is like a rainbow All over the spectrum
• I have a weird mental health issue where I have to get out and pull my car every time I go through a tunnel. It's car-pull tunnel syndrome.

Mental Health Nurse Jokes

Here is a list of funny mental health nurse jokes and even better mental health nurse puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• What is similar between students with mental health issues and nurses giving vaccinations? They both tend to shoot up schools.

Hilarious Mental Jokes that Bring Laughter with Friends

What funny jokes about mental you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean brain jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make mental pranks.