Mental Health Jokes
62 mental health jokes and hilarious mental health puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about mental health that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Mental Health Short Jokes
Short mental health jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The mental health humour may include short mental illness jokes also.
- I've been doing my psychology phd thesis on the mental health and wellbeing of little people. After 4 long years and multiple studies, I've concluded... 6 out of 7 dwarves aren't Happy.
- Recent research shows that horses tend to have much better mental health than other farm animals Due to their stable environment
- Hi, I'm a mental health therapist helping people to be more at peace with their lives. Check out my Instagram! I'm a content creator.
- Why can't you hear a psychiatrist go to the bathroom? Because the 'P' is silent.
I work in mental health and a patient told me this one the other day - The new Joker went to see a doctor for his mental health, but didn't make an appointment. It was a Joaquin.
- Apparently people who exercise have been shown to recover better and be less at risk from mental health issues... So who said you can't run away from your problems.
- My pronouns are Rare/Medium Rare. And if you don't use these, my feelings and mental health is at steak...
- In a bid to entice republicans, Biden vows to pick up right where Reagan left off... With rapidly detiorating mental health.
- I have a weird mental health issue where I have to get out and pull my car every time I go through a tunnel. It's car-pull tunnel syndrome.
- The UK is officially changing its name in honor of mental health awareness. The new name being "U.O.K.?"
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Mental Health One Liners
Which mental health one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with mental health? I can suggest the ones about mental disorder and mental patient.
- What do you call a horse with good mental health? Stable
- What do you call the Mental Health class at Hogwarts? Defence against the Dark Thoughts.
- Why is crushing pop cans taxing on one's mental health? Because it's soda pressing.
- My mental health is like a rainbow All over the spectrum
- If I had 50 cents for every mental health exam I've failed... I'd have cats.
- How can you tell if a tiktoker has mental health issues? They'll tell you.
- We should all be donating more to mental health charities It really is *fundamental*.
- Support mental health or I'll kill you!
- We should care more about the mental health of batteries.. They are all bipolar.
- I don't engage in mental combat with the unarmed.
- Video game addiction is now an official mental health disorder.
- My imaginary friend thinks you have serious mental health issues
- We need to show compassion for the mentally ill without letting them run for President.
- Best way to solve all Western people's Mental health Problems.... Is beating.
- I think my cat has a mental health problem. She's auhisstic. *rimshot*
Uproarious Mental Health Jokes to Have a Laugh Out Loud Good Time
What funny jokes about mental health you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean mental asylum jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make mental health pranks.
Mental health hotline.
Hello, welcome to the mental health hotline.
If you have obsessive compulsive disorder, press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
If you have multiple personality syndrome, press 3, 4, 5, and 6.
If you suffer from paranoid schizophrenia, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call.
If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transfered to the mothership.
If you are hearing voices, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press.
If you are manic depressive, it doesn't matter which button you press. No one will answer anyway.
If you are dyslexic, press 96969696969696.
If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the pound button until a representative comes on the line.
If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, phone number, date of birth, social security number, and your mother's and grandmother's maiden names.
If you have post traumatic stress disorder, slowly and carefully press 911.
If you have bi-polar disorder, please leave a message after the beep. Or before the beep. Or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.
If you have short term memory loss, please try you call again in a few minutes.
If you have low self esteem, please hang up. All our representatives are busy.
A man went to the doctors...
He said "Doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains"
The doctor had him sectioned and detained under the Mental Health Act
Hello, welcome to the mental health hotline.
If you are Obsessive Compulsive, press 1 repeatedly. If you are codependant, have someone press 2 for you. If you have multiple personalities, press 3,4,5,6. If you are paranoid, we know which one you want.
What is similar between students with mental health issues and nurses giving vaccinations?
They both tend to shoot up schools.
42! 42! 42!
A man Is walking past a mental health building, he can hear the patients in a yard shouting " ", not being able to see over the high walls, he finds a hole in the wall, as he looks through, a Finger pokes his eye. "43! 43! 43!" The yard shouts!
25% of the women in this country are being medicated for mental health problems
Which means 75% of women are running around untreated!
My job is affecting my mental health
Whenever I put my welding hood on, the world just seems like a dark place...
Love him or hate him at least President Trump is raising awareness of one of the greatest challenges facing America.....
....Mental Health. 'Cause either that dude is crazy or I am and my best guess is before all this is said and done we're all going to need a little therapy.
Statistics show that 34% of women are on medication for some form of mental health disorder.
That means the other 66% of crazy women are walking around unmedicated!
Depression in Mexico
There are been a sharp increase in depression in Mexico since Trump got into office on the platform of building a wall between the two countries.
Leading mental health experts have said that sadly many Mexicans will never get over it.
The one about the Pakistani Mental Health Hotline
*Hotline*: Pakistani Mental Health Hotline, how can I help you?
*Caller*: My life s**..., I see no way out.
*Hotline*: Do not worry, we are here to help you.
*Caller*: I'm feeling suicidal. What should I do?
*Hotline*: How close are you to India?
*Caller*: Don't know exactly, maybe 400km.
*Hotline*: So can you drive a truck?
Did you hear about the doctor who sent a group of crows to a mental health institution?
He committed a m**....
New study shows procrastination is as harmful to mental health as alcohol a**...
To combat this, I've decided to form Procrastinators anonymous, please consider joining it!
Things have gotten so bad in The US that during the last parade they surrounded Donald Trump with bullet proof glass.
Just because he's a White guy with mental health issues doesn't mean he's gonna start shooting up the crowd
What are the three Ms that women take from me?
Money...
Mental health...
My t**......
My school was having a mental health fair
So I went there and donated all of my mental health.
When I was a teenager, I used to flush my anti-depressants down the toilet.
Not good for my my mental health, but the Dog was never happier.
Did you hear the judge's recent linguistic faux pas, when they were addressing a recently convicted defendant?
I Order you to serve 2 years incarcerated, 2 years active probation, 1 year of passive probation, 400 hours of community service, evidence of completion of an education service approved by the court, submit to a mental health evaluation..., etc., etc..
Yeah, it was a run-on sentence.
During this lockdown, please think of the confidence level and mental health of your companies IT person.
They have gone more then three months without being able to look you in the eye without smirking, while first turning your computer off and then on again, before accessing the admin profile to delete then add the wireless printer again so you can print your emails.
At work today I brought my team new markers, crafting paper, decks of cards, and snacks
They didn't know I was coming, so I jumped out and yelled SUPPLIES!!
(We work in Children's mental health and everyone got a kick out of it)
Basic Psychology
The psychology instructor had just finished a lecture on mental health and was giving an o**... test. Speaking specifically about manic depression, she asked, "How would you diagnose a patient who walks back and forth screaming at the top of his lungs one minute, then sits in a chair weeping uncontrollably the next?"
A young man in the rear raised his hand and answered, "A basketball coach?"
i was excited when i was asked to participate in experiment about regular s**... and its effects on mental health
being in control group definitely make me depressed
I found out that the girl I'm dating is a gold digger
Idk how to tell her but I don't like gold diggers. It's not safe for her mentally as well as physically and the mine she works at doesn't give them health insurance or anything. What should I do?
My therapist says I should think of my mental health like s**...
Because I always come first
A man in a mental health facility was having an argument.
A man in a mental health facility was arguing with a hazelnut. "I'm not crazy! You're crazy!" He says.
The squirrel chimed in and said, "You're both nuts!"
Thank you for calling the Psychiatric Institute of Mental Health
If you have an obsessive-compulsive disorder, please press button 1. Again. And again. And again.
If you have a multiple personality disorder press in rapid sequence keys 2, 3, 4, 5, and 6.
If you suffer from paranoia, we have to inform you that we already know who you are, what you do in life, and what you want from us. Please stay on the phone while we trace your call.
If you suffer from hallucinations, press the 7 on the big pink telephone that you, and only you, see at your immediate right.
If you are suffer from chizophrenia, please kindly ask your imaginary friend to press the 8 key for you.
If you suffer from depression, it doesn't matter which key you press, as there is nothing to do: yours is a basket case, and there is no cure.
If you suffer from amnesia, press keys in rapid sequence 2, 7, 5, 3, 9 5, 7, 5, 1, 6, 4, 9 and repeat out loud, in the following order, your name, surname, home address, mobile number, e-mail, social security number, bank account number, ATM pin code, date of birth, marital status, place of birth and your grandmother's maiden name.
If you suffer from indecision, leave your message before, after, or during the beep.
If you suffer from short-term memory loss press 0.
If you suffer from short-term memory loss press 0.
If you suffer from short-term memory loss press 0.
If you suffer from obsessive avarice we have to inform you that this call costs 500 euros per minute.
If you suffer from low self-esteem, keep waiting: all our operators are busy responding to people who are much more important than you.
If you are one of the Italians that voted for Berlusconi, please hang up. We cure the crazy, not the jerks.
