Men Club Jokes
38 men club jokes and hilarious men club puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about men club that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Men Club Short Jokes
Short men club jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The men club humour may include short men suits jokes also.
- A white girl met a black guy in the club. He took her home and then she asked him, "Show me if it's true what they say about black men."
So he stabbed her and stole her purse. - What do the lady reindeer do while the men are out with Santa on Christmas Eve? They all head down to the Elks club and blow a few bucks.
- I am starting a club for middle aged women to gather and find younger men to take home and make love to in front of their husbands. I'll call it, the Coug Cucks Clan.
- I tried starting a unisex cooking group focused on fried foods But no one will join me in "The Battered Men & Women's Club"
- I've started handing out guns to large men at gay clubs. Just exercising my right to arm bears.
- On a noticeboard in a men's room at a sports club: There will be no gambling here. Someone had scribbled underneath: Wanna bet?
- Ladies dating a short guy is fun until you can't find him at the club and you don't have taxi money to go home.
- Our town's male s**... club has employed a lot of poorly endowed men. Ironically, they aren't short staffed.
- G Spot A friend of mine opened a s**... club called The g**...
It closed after a week as most men couldn't find it! - Why was the g**... Club not making profit in the nightclub business? Most men couldn't find it.
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Men Club One Liners
Which men club one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with men club? I can suggest the ones about women men and mean men.
- Starting a Chippendales club in Utah, guess what it's going to be called? "MOR-MEN"
- I went to a club the other night where all the men were dressed as women. What a drag
- There were no gay men at the country club For the second straight year.
- When I was younger I was offered to join Boys 2 Men Not the band. The s**... club
- Why was the annual X-men team outing to a s**... club ruined? Because Storm made it rain.
- I tried to join a club for men with large p**... I now have a member-ship
Cheeky Men Club Jokes to Experience Good Cheer & Frivolity
What funny jokes about men club you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean clubs jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make men club pranks.
The Perfect Husband
Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A cell phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands-free speaker- function and begins to talk. Everyone else in the room stops to listen.
MAN: "Hello"
WOMAN: "Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?"
MAN: "Yes."
WOMAN: "I'm at the mall now and found this beautiful leather coat. It's only $1,000. Is it OK if I buy it?"
MAN: "Sure, go ahead if you like it that much."
MAN: "How much?"
WOMAN: "$65,000."
MAN: "OK, but for that price I want it with all the options."
WOMAN: "Great! Oh, and one more thing. The house we wanted last year is back on the market. They're asking $950,000."
MAN: "Well, then go ahead and give them an offer, but just offer $900,000."
WOMAN: "OK. I'll see you later! I love you!"
MAN: "Bye, I love you, too."
The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room are looking at him in astonishment.
Then he smiles and asks: **"Anyone know whose phone this is?"**
So a man h**... to a s**... club
He sits down in the front row. A man sits behind him.
A girl comes out and starts dancing. Both of the men cheer.
She takes off her top. Both men cheer.
She takes off her bottom.Only the man in the front cheers.
Curious the man in front turns around and asks
Where'd all the enthusiasm go.
The man response. "all over your back"
Three old men
Three old men are golfing. One of them complains,
"Ya know, the hills these days are getting steeper and steeper"
His buddy one chimes in:
"Yep, and the clubs are getting heavier. They were way lighter when we were younger"
The third old man patiently listening finally says,
"Oh quit whining you two, at least we're on the right side of the grass."
Two Men in a Country Club...
Two men in a country club are in the locker room getting undressed. Bob, asks Mike, "How long have you been wearing women's underwear?". Mike answers, "Since my wive found a pair in my car."
Two men are playing a round of golf.
The third tee is close to a road, and just as one of the players is about to tee off he sees a f**... cortège driving slowly by. He breaks his shot, lays down his club, takes off his cap and bows his head as the procession passes.
'Wow' says his friend, 'That was very respectful.'
'I suppose so' says the first man, 'Mind you, I was married to her for 40 years.'
Two men were playing golf..
when the man about to tee off noticed a f**... procession moving down the road next to the golf course. He stopped, put his club away, took off his hat and waited respectfully for them the pass. "My friend that was a very decent and respectful gesture" his friend commented. "The least I could do, I was married to her for eighteen years after all"
Two Scottish men go golfing on a Saturday morning...
As they are in the middle of their round, a f**... procession passes in full view of the two golfers. One of them stops everything, pulls his hat off, and holds it over his heart as he watches. He stands there, not touching his clubs until the very last car passes the course.
"Wow," says his friend. "That's the most touching thing I've ever seen."
"Well," says the first. "We *were* married for 40 years."
(Told to me by a Scottish golfer.)
A priest, a philosopher and a politician are playing golf. However, the holes are being blocked by a man seemingly doing silly moves with the club and failing to reach the holes.
The three men start complaining, but the field's manager tells them that the man is blind.
The priest says:
- I'm thankful to Lord that he has given me the sight to see people's failings and tell them the Gospel!
The philosopher says:
- When you think about it, the difficulties faced by this man are unconceivable to us, and yet he is still doing anything he can to live a normal life.
The politician says:
- Can you ask him to play at night?
The Gentlemens Club of Jokes
In search of a new hobby a man enters a club where several men sit at table, drinks and cigars at hand.
From time to time someone says a random number and everyone is laughing. Bewildered, the man takes one of the gentlemen aside and asks "What the heck is going on here?" - "Well, you see, we tell each other jokes. But because we know every joke we numbered them, so when someone says '8' we all know which joke is told and everyone is having a good time".
The man thinks 'That sounds fun, I'll give it a try', sits down at a table and says "13". Silence follows. Surprised, the man asks "What did I do wrong?"
- "It also depends on how you tell the joke"
There's this one about two old men in the Explorer's Club...
And the elder of the two was describing his first trip to Africa on safari as a young lad.
"I rode through the jungle with the tribesmen and hunting party for days on end, and suddenly, out of the trees, came this huge tiger!"
His companion said "And what did you do, sir?"
"Well, we were all frozen in fear. And before any of us could aim our rifles, the tiger let out this big roar: RRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHRRRRRRRRRRRR!
I don't mind telling you, I s**... my pants!"
His companion said "Well, sir, I'm not surprised after witnessing that!"
The old man shook his head.
"Not that, when I went RRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHRRRRRRRRRRRR!"
My Mommy, the Dancer
One day a fourth-grade teacher asked the children in her class what their mothers did for a living.
All the typical answers came up -- teacher, nurse, businesswoman, saleswoman, doctor, lawyer, and so forth.
However, little Johnny was being uncharacteristically quiet, So when the teacher gently prodded him about his mother, He replied, "Well my mother's an exotic dancer in a club and takes off all her clothes in front of men, and they put money in her underwear. Sometimes, if the offer is really good, she will go home with some guy and stay with him all night for money."
The teacher, obviously shaken by this bold statement, hurriedly set the other children to work on some exercises and then took little Johnny aside to quietly ask him, "Is that really true about your mother, dear?"
Nope," the boy said, "She works for the Democratic National Committee and is helping to get Hillary Clinton to be our next President, but I was too embarrassed to say that In front of the other kids."
A priest, a doctor, and an engineer go golfing
They get stuck behind a group of golfers who seemed to be moving slower than usual.
One of the country club members explains to them that this is a group of blind men who lost their eyesight as firefighters. The country club allows them to use the course once a year free of charge.
The priest immediately chimes in and says, "I am going to pray for these men everyday in my church to help their well being."
The doctor then exclaims, "I am going to get the best medical care in the country to research a possible way to help these men."
The engineer then says, "Why don't they just golf at night?"
A cell phone rings in a full mens locker room, the man answers the phone
He puts it on speaker.
Man: "Hello!"
Woman: "Hi honey, it's me. Are you at the club?"
Man: "Yes."
Woman: "I'm at the mall and i just saw this beautiful leather coat and it's only $2,000, can i have it?
Man: "Sure!"
Woman: "Oh, and i just stopped by at the Lexus dealership and saw one i really liked, can i have it?
Man "How much is it?"
Woman: "$90,000."
Man: "Well if it's that much i want it with all the features."
Woman: "Ofcourse, one more thing. I just finished talking to Sarah, and the and the house i wanted is back on the market, they're asking 980.000 for it."
Man: "Ok, make an offer for 900.000, if they don't take it offer them the extra 80k if that's what you really want."
Woman: " Thank you so much honey, love you, bye!"
Man: "Love you too, bye."
The man hung up, everyone in the locker room was staring at him in astonishment. The man then calmly looked around and asked "Ok, whose phone is this?"
A s**... club owner is lamenting about his dwindling business to his wife.
A s**... club owner is eating breakfast with his wife. He begins to cry. "Honey, things are changing. Men just ain't spending money at t**... bars like they used to."
"Oh that can't be." She responds. "There are some things men will always go to a s**... club for."
"But honey, I've tried everything. They just seem disinterested these days." He hangs his head in defeat, wiping tears from his eyes.
His wife leans in to try to comfort him. "It's ok. Your business will come back around. Men will always enjoy being groped by a strangers, spending hundreds of dollars for the VIP experience, the occasional BJ in the bathroom, and getting black out drunk then waking up in a completely different city. That's what s**... clubs are for."
The husband looks up and responds. "I know, but Delta airlines offers a round trip."
For the Australians out there!
Tony was at school this morning when the teacher asked all the children what their fathers did for a living.
All the typical answers came out: Policeman, Fireman, Salesman, etc. But Tony was being uncharacteristically quiet and so teacher asked him about his father.
'My father is an exotic dancer in a gay club and takes off his clothes in front of other men. Sometimes if the offer is really good he'll go out with a man, rent a cheap hotel room and let them sleep with him.'
The teacher quickly set the other children some work and took little tony aside to ask him if that was really true.
'No' said Tony, 'He plays cricket for Australia, but I was just too embarrassed to say'.
Hopefully this isn't a repost, but I love this one.
A group of men are changing in locker room at a golf club. Suddenly a cell phone on the bench starts to ring, and a man puts it on speaker phone as he continues getting dressed. He says "Hello?", the woman on the other line says "Honey, it's me. Are you still at the golf club?"
"Yeah, what's going on?"
"I'm out shopping and found this great new leather coat, and it's only $500 dollars, can I get it?"
"Sure, if you like it"
"Thank you! I was also at the dealership earlier and saw the new Mercedes models, and there is one that's absolutely gorgeous, and I really want it!"
"How much is it?"
"About $80,000..."
"Alright, but for that price I want all the extra options included."
"Great! One other thing. The house we wanted last year is back on the market, but they're asking for 1,500,000."
"Well, go ahead and make them an offer, but don't go above 1,250,000."
"Really? Okay! I love you, see you later!"
"Love you too."
The rest of the men in the club stare at him wide eyed. As he hangs up the phone he looks at the men and asks "Anyone know whose phone this is?"
