Memory Jokes
166 memory jokes and hilarious memory puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about memory that are clean and suitable for kids and friends. We've covered all the best memory loss jokes, memory foam jokes, memory lane jokes.
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Funniest Memory Short Jokes
Short memory jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The memory humour may include short recall jokes also.
- The oldest computer can be traced back to Adam and Eve. It was an apple but with extremely limited memory. Just 1 byte. And then everything crashed.
- I walked down a street where the houses were numbered 64K, 128K, 256K, 512K and 1MB That was a trip down memory lane
- My favourite childhood memory with my grandad is when i was building a sand castle with him... ...until my mom took the urn back.
- My favourite childhood memory is building sand castles with my grandfather Until my mother took the urn from me
- My mum suffers with short term memory loss Hope it doesn't run in the family because my mums got it too
- My favorite childhood memory was building sandcastles with my grandmother until my mom took the urn from me.
- I have the memory of an elephant. I remember one time I went to the zoo and saw an elephant.
- My favourite childhood memory was making sandcastles with my grandfather. Until my mother hid his urn away from me.
Credit. Sandi Toksvig - My fondest Childhood memory was making Sand castle with Grandma. Until my mother hid the Urn.
- The oldest computer can be traced back to Adam & Eve. It was an apple with extremely limited memory. Just 1 byte & then everything crashed.
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Memory One Liners
Which memory one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with memory? I can suggest the ones about reminder and storage.
- Are people born with a photographic memory.... ....or does it take time to develop ?
- Yo mama's so fat when she sat on a memory foam it forgot
- I have the memory of an elephant. I saw an elephant.
- I found my boomerang with RAM glued to it Man that thing brought back memories
- Your mom is so fat Her memory foam mattress drinks to forget.
- I have the memory of an elephent. It was at the zoo.
- What do you call an iPhone 6S that ran out memory space. Successful
- I just got a repressed memory foam mattress. It holds me just like my uncle used to.
- I have the memory of an elephant... One time I went to the zoo and saw an elephant.
- I have a photographic memory it just hasn't developed yet
- Just got a repressed memory foam mattress, it holds me just like my gym teacher did
- How much memory does it take to store a joke ? One Gigglebyte.
- I don't like my computer memory. Not one bit.
- I have a photographic memory... I need to take a photograph to remember anything.
- I'm not saying my ex is fat... But my memory foam mattress took a year to forget her.
Memory Loss Jokes
Here is a list of funny memory loss jokes and even better memory loss puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- My father suffers from short term memory loss I hope it doesn't run in the family because my dad has it.
- I asked my librarian if she had a book on short term memory loss... I asked my librarian if she had a book on short term memory loss...
- Alcoholism causes memory loss, liver diesase, And memory loss.
- What do you call a show about two cokeheads with short term memory loss? Whose Line Is It Anyway?
- Stay away from the marijuanas it can cause memory loss Or even worse, memory loss.
- Drinking can cause memory loss...or even worse Memory loss
- If you suffer from short term memory loss If you suffer from short term memory loss
- I've heard that head injuries can cause memory loss, but I still don't wear a bike helmet. I don't even remember the last time I fell off my bike.
- What do you call it when a shepherd can't find his ram? Memory loss.
- My mom suffers from short term memory loss. I hope it isn't congenital Because my mom's got it too
Forgetful Memory Jokes
Here is a list of funny forgetful memory jokes and even better forgetful memory puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Yo momma so heavy She make memory foam forget!!!!!
- Call a girl beautiful thousand times and she'll not even notice. Call a girl fat once and she'll never forget. Because elephants have very good memory.
- When you have a pillow fight with a memory foam pillow, that's a pillow fight you'll never forget.
- Memory problems are no joke Because you forget the punchline
- I have a great memory I can't remember forgetting a thing, ever!
- My ex girlfriend recently claimed she had a great memory She was definitely lying because it didn't take her long to forget me
- Yo mama so big... ...her memory foam mattress drinks to forget.
- Yo mama so ugly Her memory foam wishes it could forget,
- 3 great things about getting old and losing your memory 1. You're always making new friends.
2. Every joke you hear is new.
3. I uh, I forget the third one. - Why did the bed not forget? Because of it's Memory Foam.
Memory Foam Jokes
Here is a list of funny memory foam jokes and even better memory foam puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Great pickup line... You:Hey, do you have a Memory foam mattress?
Her: Yes.
You: Wanna Traumatize it? - So I bought a memory foam pillow second-hand Got it for a good price, all was good until I laid down and it said "who the f@#k are you?"
- Your momma's so fat she gave her memory foam mattress brain damage....
- When I was a teenager, I used to punch my memory foam pillow when my anger was getting beyond control. Now it's memorized all my moves, and I live in constant fear.
- Me: How long have we had that mattress? Wife: No idea
Memory foam mattress: Two years, five months and two days - How do you get your memory foam bed to like and support you? You make a good impression.
- I'm not saying me and my partner are freaky in bed...... ....But our memory foam mattress has PTSD.
- I used to punch my memory foam pillow whenever I got mad. Eventually it learned my moves.
- My wife is coming back from holiday tomorrow... Does anyone know how to delete the memory, from my memory foam mattress?
- Yo mama so fat Her memory foam has Alzheimer's
Bad Memory Jokes
Here is a list of funny bad memory jokes and even better bad memory puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- If you thought alcohol was bad for your short term memory... ...just imagine what alcohol will do!
- My friends tell me I have bad memory, but jokes on them... My friends tell me I have bad memory, but jokes on them...
- My wife keeps saying that I'm not the man she married. I thought *my* memory was bad.
- Everybody picks on me because apparently my memory is so bad But I cannot remember the last time I forgot something.
- How do you fix a bad memory? I don't remember.
- Did you know there are many different words for lungs? I just can't remember them because I have bad lung term memory
- The doctor told me I have short term memory loss. That's the bad news.
The bad news is that I have short term memory loss. - If anyone tells you that your memory is bad just ignore it until you forget it about it.
- My memory is bad so I put 'incorrect' as my password. Whenever I type a wrong password it'd say 'Your Password is Incorrect'
- You know it's bad When you have no sporty hobbies and have finger muscle memory for a keyboard.
Memory Lane Jokes
Here is a list of funny memory lane jokes and even better memory lane puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I recently walked down a street where the homes were numbered 64K, 128K, 256K, 512K and 1024K It was a trip down memory lane
- I lost my computer RAM. I guess I will have to take a trip down memory lane to buy a new one.
- Recently I was at a store walking down the flash drives and hard drives section. I have to say, it was quite a walk down the memory lane.
- I am visiting my old neighbourhood, where many of the cognitive scientists lived... I will be going down the memory lane.
Happy Memory Jokes for a Lighthearted Night with Friends
What funny jokes about memory you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean knowledge jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make memory pranks.
"Having too much s**... can result in memory loss."
I read that on page 37, paragraph five of the New England Medical Journal on September 15th, 2014 at 10:37 am.
Help! I need a push!
A man and his wife were awoken at 3am by a pounding on the door.
The man gets up and goes to the door where a
drunken stranger, standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push.
"Not a chance," says the husband, "it is 3 in the
morning!"
He slams the door and returns to bed.
"Who was that?" asked his wife..
"Just some drunk guy asking for a push," he answers.
"Did you help him?" she asks.
"No, I did not, it is 3 in the morning and it is pouring rain out there!"
"Well, you have a short memory," says his wife.
"Can't you remember about three months ago when we broke down, and those two guys helped us?
I think you should help him, and you should be ashamed of yourself!"
The man does as he is told, gets dressed, and goes out into the pounding rain.
He calls out into the dark, "Hello, are you still there?"
"Yes," comes back the answer.
"Do you still need a push?" calls out the husband.
"Yes, please!" comes the reply from the dark.
"Where are you!" asks the husband
"Over here on the swing," replied the drunk.
Memory Lane...
An elderly couple had dinner at another couple's house, and after eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen.
The two gentlemen were talking, and one said, 'Last night we went out to a new restaurant and it was really great.. I would recommend it very highly..'
The other man said, 'What is the name of the restaurant?'
The first man thought and thought and finally said, 'What is the name of that flower you give to someone you love?
You know.... The one that's red and has thorns.'
'Do you mean a rose?'
'Yes, that's the one,' replied the man. He then turned towards the kitchen and yelled, 'Rose, what's the name of that restaurant we went to last night?'
My first memory occurred 9 months before I was born...
...I remember going to this party with my dad but then i went home with my mom.
Why do they have fences around cemeteries?
Because everyone is dying to get in.
In memory of my Uncle David RIP. He would always tell this joke
An old actor has trouble getting work due to failing memory...
After contacting many people that he worked with in the past , he is finally able to land a job in a popular new Broadway play. The director tells him its only one line at the beginning of the play, but it is a very important line. It sets the mood for the rest of the play. It is ESSENTIAL he nails the line. The old actor emphasizes that he will nail it. The director reluctantly agrees and proceeds to tell him his role. You will take a beautiful rose, bring it to your nose and take a deep breath and say the following line: *Ah, the sweet scent of my mistress…* That's it. Do not screw this up! The old actor thanks him 10 times over and proceeds to practice for the next 2 weeks nonstop.
Opening night comes. It's a sold out theater. He takes to the stage, spotlight on him. He raises his hand, takes a deep breath and says the line perfectly * Ah, the sweet scent of my mistress… * Just after the line is delivered the auditorium burst into laughter. He walks off the stage distraught. I don't get it. I nailed the line perfectly. What happened? The director looks at him and yells YOU IDIOT! YOU FORGOT THE FLOWER!
An old man goes to the doctor's
An old man goes to the doctor's because he has been feeling bad lately. The doctor does some tests on him and tells him to come back the next day for the results.
The next day the man gets his diagnosis. The doctor says: "Sir, I have bad news for you. You have inoperable cancer. The tests have also shown that you have problems with your memory. It seems you have Alzheimer's."
The old man says: "Well, at least I don't have cancer!"
The Longest Memory in the World
One day, a young man takes a trip out West and comes across a little Native American village. He decides, what the heck, he'll stop and look around. One of the Native women, seeing that he's not from around, tells the man he should visit the Chief, who she says has the longest and best memory in the world. So the man decides to go visit the Chief and asks: "So I hear you have the greatest memory in the world." The Chief answers "I do. I can remember every single detail of my entire life." The man figures he should test this, and asks the Chief "What did you have for breakfast on April the 27th, 1959?" After stopping to think for a second, the chief answers "two eggs." Satisfied, the man says goodbye to the Chief and eventually leaves the village.
Twenty years later, the man takes another trip out West and comes across the same village. He's amazed when he notices the Chief, still alive after all these years. The man, stops and says hello, so he raises his hand and says, "How" and the Chief replies "fried."
My friend drowned last week
My friend drowned last week, so I had a wreath made in the shape of a life jacket in his memory. I'm sure it's what he would have wanted.
-Milton Jones
An elderly man and woman enter the bar and ask the bartender for their usual drinks.
The bartender serves them, speaking to the man, "Mr. Johnson, it's been awhile since we saw you last, how are you and your wife doing? We were worried about you, the last time you came in you didn't seem to recognize or remember anyone."
The elderly gentleman responds, "Well, you know how it is when you start getting up in years… but I've been seeing a fantastic memory therapist. She's taught me some mental exercises that have helped me to remember all the important things in life."
The bartender says, "That's great! What's the therapist's name?"
The elderly gentleman looks confused before snapping his fingers, "What's that flower? The red one with thorns on its stem?"
The bartender answers, "A rose?"
"Yes, that's it," the older man smiles before turning to his wife, "Rose, what's the name of that therapist I've been seeing?"
Three old women are discussing how their memory isn't what it used to be.
The first woman says, "Sometimes, I'm in the elevator, and I don't remember if I'm going up or down."
"The second woman says, "sometimes, I have a bottle of mayonnaise in my hand, and I don't remember if I'm taking it out of the fridge or putting it back."
"The third woman says, "Well, I don't have any of those problems, knock wood," knocking on the table. "Oh, hold on a second, someone's at the door."
Did you hear about the new Mike Tyson computer?
It has two bytes and no memory
I've got a horrible memory.
I couldn't remember what onomatopoeia or metaphor meant and then BAM it hit me like lighting. It was like the time I remembered similes and realized I am dumb as a box of rocks.
Dementia
Three older men are undergoing a memory test at the doctor's office. The Doctor asks, "What is three times three?"
The first man answers, "274."
The second man answers, "Tuesday."
The third man answers, "Nine."
The doctor pleasantly surprised at the third man's correct response, inquires, "Great! How did you get that answer?"
"Simple. Just subtract 274 from Tuesday."
A man meets a Native American with flawless memory...
When he meets this Native American Chief he notices he is older than most.
He asks the Chief many questions, and the Chief replies flawlessly to each one.
Then he thinks of a random date and asks the Chief, "What did you eat on October 18, 1987?" The Chief replies "Eggs".
He leaves the Chief and goes home. A year later he meets the Chief again. Feeling respectful he approaches the Chief, and says "How" and the Chief says, "Scrambled!"
['90s] I just got a new computer.
It's called "The Tyson." It comes with two bytes and no memory.
From grandma: Why do women wear p**... with flowers on them?
In memory of all the faces that were buried there.
2 older couple were having breakfast
Old man 1: We went to the best restaurant last night
Old man 2: What's it's name?
Old man 1: Oh, I have such a terrible memory. What's that red flower?
Old man 2: Carnation?
Old man 1: No, the one with the thorns.
Old man 2: Rose?
Old man 1: That's it. (turns to his wife) Hey Rose, what's the name of that restaurant we went to last night?
I can't remember where I read this, but I heard too much m**... causes memory loss.
If they release three more sequels of 'Fast and Furious' series...
They should name the last one - "Fast10 - Your Seatbelt" in memory of Paul Walker.
If you want to be a General Motors engineer, your memory needs to be perfect.
You have to recall everything.
What an Idea..!!!
My laboratory assistant has invented a device that allows you to steal other people's ideas and then permanently delete them from the subject's memory.
Why didn't I think of that?
My friend told me everytime he goes to this sub he finds new hilarious jokes
I was surprised at first, but then I remembered he has a short-term memory.
Three old men
Three elderly men were at the doctor for a memory test. The doctor asked the first man, "What is three times three?" "274," was his reply.
The doctor said to the second man, "It's your turn. What is three times three?" "Tuesday", he replied.
Then the doctor asked the third man, "Okay, your turn. What's three times three"? "Nine", he answered. "That's great!" said the doctor. "How did you get that answer?
"Easy," said the third man. "I subtracted 274 from Tuesday."
I'm going to open my own bar and call it "Chrome"
It will keep your tab open until you have no memory
Vince McMahon opened a fitness center in the memory of r**... Savage.
The Slim Gym
The two most difficult things in programming...
The two most difficult things in programming are memory management, naming things, and off by one errors.
Studies have shown that smoking w**... causes short term memory loss.
Next thing you know they'll be saying smoking w**... causes short term memory loss.
I woke up in the police station this morning with no memory of the previous night.
I really need to stop drinking on duty.
In memory of my father, who died of blood loss because sadly no one could figure out his blood type.
As I stood beside him it was incredibly moving to hear him repeat, over and over, these inspirational last words: "Be positive, son! Be positive!"
Father, I don't know if you can hear me, but if you do, just know I will always remember to be positive.
10 years ago to this day, I cut myself with a stick of RAM
I guess you could say I have a pretty sharp memory.
What's the difference between a woman with a cold and a p**... with a photographic memory?
One blows her nose, one knows her blows
I have a Photographic memory
Unfortunately it's digital and it didn't come with a memory card.
h**... died.
When he woke up, he looked around. Only to see fire and t**.... In an attempt to question surroundings and to regain his lost memory, he asked the nearest figure.
"Where am I and who am I?"
The figure replied,"h**... h**...".
Yes...First Computer was from Apple
The first computer dates back to Adam and Eve. It was an Apple with limited memory, just one byte. And then everything crashed.
If smoking m**... causes short term memory loss,
what does smoking m**... do?
Did you know cucumbers improve your memory?
My uncle put one in me when I was a kid and I still haven't forgotten.
Did you know that cucumbers are good for your memory ?
Because I got one stuck in my a**... a couple years ago and me, my family and doctor still remember it vividly
If you s**... at playing the trumpet...
...that's probably why.
My neighbor who had horrible jokes passed away this week. This was one of his favorites. Enjoy a good (bad) pun in his memory.
A zookeeper lost a pair of mongoose to a storm and needed to replace them. He began writing an email to his supplier...
Dear sir, please send me two mongooses at once.
That didn't sound right, so he tried again.
Dear sir, please send me two mongeese at once.
That still didn't sound right, so he gave it one last attempt:
Dear sir, please send me one mongoose. And while you're at it- send me another mongoose.
(In memory of my dad who told that joke at every family gathering for 30 years.)
Warning.
Don't let them take your forehead temperature at the supermarket, because it erases your memory. I went for macaroni and cheese.
And came home with two cases of beer.
Did you know too much s**... can cause memory loss
I read that in a medical journal on page 34 at 3:23 pm last year on Wednesday November the 7th.
The earliest memory I have is going with my dad to get prescription glasses.
Life before that is a blur.
My fondest memory when I was a kid was building sandcastles with my grandpa.
I really enjoyed it until the day my mom hid the urn from me.
My favorite childhood memory was building sand castles with my grandpa.
Then my mom hid the urn from me.
John's wife comes home to a dark house and her husband sitting there crying.
"honey, what's wrong? Why are you crying?"
John turns to his wife and says, "do you remember 20 years ago when your father caught us having s**... in the car?"
John's wife smiles at the memory and replies, "of course, that was my first time."
John looks at his wife and says, "well 20 years ago your father gave me a choice. Either I marry you or spend 20 years in prison."
"That was a long time ago honey, and your not in prison."
John again starts sobbing and says, "I would have gotten out of prison today."
Did you guys know too much s**... can cause memory loss?
I learnt that in a medical journal, page 34. At 3:38pm on Thursday the 7th.
My favourite childhood memory is making mud pies with my grandad.
Until mom found out and hid the urn.
The oldest computer can be traced back to Adam and Eve.
Surprise, surprise!
It was an Apple,
but with limited memory.
Just one byte,
and everything crashed.
Wife asks her husband will he remarry if she dies.
Husband: No how can I think of remarrying.
Wife: Why not? You would need a partner for your bad times. Please remarry if I die.
Husband: You are so sweet... Even after death, you are worried about me.
Wife: Will you let her use my car?
Husband: Of course not
Wife: Will you give my jewellery to her
Husband: Not at all, I have some of my memories attached to it. I will keep it as your memory.
Wife: Will you give my shoes to her
Husband: No way... Her size is '5' and yours is '7'.
An 85-year-old grandfather was rushed to the hospital with no memory and brain damage.
The doctor asked him a series of questions:
Do you know where you are?
I'm at Rex Hospital.
What city are you in?
Raleigh.
Do you know who I am?
Dr. Hamilton.
the old grandfather then turned to the nurse and said, I hope he doesn't ask me any more questions. Why? she asked. Because all of those answers were on his badge.
guys i have copied this joke and edited formating. its not my original creation.
Do you know the oldest computer was owned by Adam and Eve?
It was an apple, with very limited memory, one byte and everything crashed!
A tourist decides to visit a Native American Chief who is famous for his perfect memory.
"Okay, Chief..." says the tourist,
"Let's test that memory of yours. What did you eat for breakfast on May 9th, 1972?"
The Chief thinks for a moment, and responds "Eggs."
The tourist replies, "Wow, that's incredible! You really do have a perfect memory." and leaves.
Ten years later the tourist finds himself in the Chief's neck of the woods and decides to pay him a visit.
He enters the Chief's home and respectfully greets him, saying "Hau, Chief."
The Chief promptly replies, "Scrambled."