The Best 60 Memory Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Memory jokes. There are some memory memory clinic jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these memory memory loss puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Memory Jokes and Puns

The oldest computer can be traced back to Adam and Eve.

It was an apple but with extremely limited memory. Just 1 byte. And then everything crashed.

I walked down a street where the houses were numbered 64K, 128K, 256K, 512K and 1MB

That was a trip down memory lane

"Having too much sex can result in memory loss."

I read that on page 37, paragraph five of the New England Medical Journal on September 15th, 2014 at 10:37 am.

Memory joke, "Having too much sex can result in memory loss."

Memory Lane...

An elderly couple had dinner at another couple's house, and after eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen.
The two gentlemen were talking, and one said, 'Last night we went out to a new restaurant and it was really great.. I would recommend it very highly..'
The other man said, 'What is the name of the restaurant?'
The first man thought and thought and finally said, 'What is the name of that flower you give to someone you love?
You know.... The one that's red and has thorns.'
'Do you mean a rose?'
'Yes, that's the one,' replied the man. He then turned towards the kitchen and yelled, 'Rose, what's the name of that restaurant we went to last night?'

My first memory occurred 9 months before I was born...

...I remember going to this party with my dad but then i went home with my mom.


Why do they have fences around cemeteries?

Because everyone is dying to get in.

In memory of my Uncle David RIP. He would always tell this joke

An old actor has trouble getting work due to failing memory...

After contacting many people that he worked with in the past , he is finally able to land a job in a popular new Broadway play. The director tells him its only one line at the beginning of the play, but it is a very important line. It sets the mood for the rest of the play. It is ESSENTIAL he nails the line. The old actor emphasizes that he will nail it. The director reluctantly agrees and proceeds to tell him his role. You will take a beautiful rose, bring it to your nose and take a deep breath and say the following line: *Ah, the sweet scent of my mistress…* That's it. Do not screw this up! The old actor thanks him 10 times over and proceeds to practice for the next 2 weeks nonstop.

Opening night comes. It's a sold out theater. He takes to the stage, spotlight on him. He raises his hand, takes a deep breath and says the line perfectly * Ah, the sweet scent of my mistress… * Just after the line is delivered the auditorium burst into laughter. He walks off the stage distraught. I don't get it. I nailed the line perfectly. What happened? The director looks at him and yells YOU IDIOT! YOU FORGOT THE FLOWER!

Memory joke, An old actor has trouble getting work due to failing memory...

The Longest Memory in the World

One day, a young man takes a trip out West and comes across a little Native American village. He decides, what the heck, he'll stop and look around. One of the Native women, seeing that he's not from around, tells the man he should visit the Chief, who she says has the longest and best memory in the world. So the man decides to go visit the Chief and asks: "So I hear you have the greatest memory in the world." The Chief answers "I do. I can remember every single detail of my entire life." The man figures he should test this, and asks the Chief "What did you have for breakfast on April the 27th, 1959?" After stopping to think for a second, the chief answers "two eggs." Satisfied, the man says goodbye to the Chief and eventually leaves the village.
Twenty years later, the man takes another trip out West and comes across the same village. He's amazed when he notices the Chief, still alive after all these years. The man, stops and says hello, so he raises his hand and says, "How" and the Chief replies "fried."

I don't like my computer memory.

Not one bit.

My friend drowned last week

My friend drowned last week, so I had a wreath made in the shape of a life jacket in his memory. I'm sure it's what he would have wanted.

-Milton Jones

An elderly man and woman enter the bar and ask the bartender for their usual drinks.

The bartender serves them, speaking to the man, "Mr. Johnson, it's been awhile since we saw you last, how are you and your wife doing? We were worried about you, the last time you came in you didn't seem to recognize or remember anyone."

The elderly gentleman responds, "Well, you know how it is when you start getting up in years… but I've been seeing a fantastic memory therapist. She's taught me some mental exercises that have helped me to remember all the important things in life."

The bartender says, "That's great! What's the therapist's name?"

The elderly gentleman looks confused before snapping his fingers, "What's that flower? The red one with thorns on its stem?"

The bartender answers, "A rose?"

"Yes, that's it," the older man smiles before turning to his wife, "Rose, what's the name of that therapist I've been seeing?"

You can explore memory memories reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean memory remember dad jokes. There are also memory puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Three old women are discussing how their memory isn't what it used to be.

The first woman says, "Sometimes, I'm in the elevator, and I don't remember if I'm going up or down."
"The second woman says, "sometimes, I have a bottle of mayonnaise in my hand, and I don't remember if I'm taking it out of the fridge or putting it back."
"The third woman says, "Well, I don't have any of those problems, knock wood," knocking on the table. "Oh, hold on a second, someone's at the door."

I have a photographic memory

it just hasn't developed yet

A man meets a Native American with flawless memory...

When he meets this Native American Chief he notices he is older than most.
He asks the Chief many questions, and the Chief replies flawlessly to each one.

Then he thinks of a random date and asks the Chief, "What did you eat on October 18, 1987?" The Chief replies "Eggs".

He leaves the Chief and goes home. A year later he meets the Chief again. Feeling respectful he approaches the Chief, and says "How" and the Chief says, "Scrambled!"

Great pickup line...

You:Hey, do you have a Memory foam mattress?

Her: Yes.

You: Wanna Traumatize it?

What do you call an iPhone 6S that ran out memory space.

Successful

Memory joke, What do you call an iPhone 6S that ran out memory space.

From grandma: Why do women wear panties with flowers on them?

In memory of all the faces that were buried there.

2 older couple were having breakfast

Old man 1: We went to the best restaurant last night
Old man 2: What's it's name?
Old man 1: Oh, I have such a terrible memory. What's that red flower?
Old man 2: Carnation?
Old man 1: No, the one with the thorns.
Old man 2: Rose?
Old man 1: That's it. (turns to his wife) Hey Rose, what's the name of that restaurant we went to last night?

I can't remember where I read this, but I heard too much masturbating causes memory loss.


My father suffers from short term memory loss

I hope it doesn't run in the family because my dad has it.

My friend told me everytime he goes to this sub he finds new hilarious jokes

I was surprised at first, but then I remembered he has a short-term memory.

Three old men

Three elderly men were at the doctor for a memory test. The doctor asked the first man, "What is three times three?" "274," was his reply.
The doctor said to the second man, "It's your turn. What is three times three?" "Tuesday", he replied.

Then the doctor asked the third man, "Okay, your turn. What's three times three"? "Nine", he answered. "That's great!" said the doctor. "How did you get that answer?

"Easy," said the third man. "I subtracted 274 from Tuesday."

I just got a repressed memory foam mattress.

It holds me just like my uncle used to.

My mum suffers with short term memory loss

Hope it doesn't run in the family because my mums got it too

I'm going to open my own bar and call it "Chrome"

It will keep your tab open until you have no memory

I asked my librarian if she had a book on short term memory loss...

I asked my librarian if she had a book on short term memory loss...

Studies have shown that smoking weed causes short term memory loss.

Next thing you know they'll be saying smoking weed causes short term memory loss.

Yo mama's so fat

when she sat on a memory foam it forgot

Just got a repressed memory foam mattress,

it holds me just like my gym teacher did

In memory of my father, who died of blood loss because sadly no one could figure out his blood type.

As I stood beside him it was incredibly moving to hear him repeat, over and over, these inspirational last words: "Be positive, son! Be positive!"

Father, I don't know if you can hear me, but if you do, just know I will always remember to be positive.

10 years ago to this day, I cut myself with a stick of RAM

I guess you could say I have a pretty sharp memory.

Your mom is so fat

Her memory foam mattress drinks to forget.

I have the memory of an elephant.

I remember one time I went to the zoo and saw an elephant.

If smoking Marijuana causes short term memory loss,

what does smoking Marijuana do?

Did you know that cucumbers are good for your memory ?

Because I got one stuck in my ass a couple years ago and me, my family and doctor still remember it vividly

If you suck at playing the trumpet...

...that's probably why.

My neighbor who had horrible jokes passed away this week. This was one of his favorites. Enjoy a good (bad) pun in his memory.

A zookeeper lost a pair of mongoose to a storm and needed to replace them. He began writing an email to his supplier...

Dear sir, please send me two mongooses at once.

That didn't sound right, so he tried again.

Dear sir, please send me two mongeese at once.

That still didn't sound right, so he gave it one last attempt:

Dear sir, please send me one mongoose. And while you're at it- send me another mongoose.

(In memory of my dad who told that joke at every family gathering for 30 years.)

How much memory does it take to store a joke ?

One Gigglebyte.

My favorite childhood memory was building sandcastles with my grandmother

until my mom took the urn from me.

The oldest computer can be traced back to Adam & Eve.

It was an apple with extremely limited memory. Just 1 byte & then everything crashed.

Did you know too much sex can cause memory loss

I read that in a medical journal on page 34 at 3:23 pm last year on Wednesday November the 7th.

My fondest memory when I was a kid was building sandcastles with my grandpa.

I really enjoyed it until the day my mom hid the urn from me.

My favorite childhood memory was building sand castles with my grandpa.

Then my mom hid the urn from me.

So I bought a memory foam pillow second-hand

Got it for a good price, all was good until I laid down and it said "who the f@#k are you?"

If you thought alcohol was bad for your short term memory...

...just imagine what alcohol will do!

John's wife comes home to a dark house and her husband sitting there crying.

"honey, what's wrong? Why are you crying?"

John turns to his wife and says, "do you remember 20 years ago when your father caught us having sex in the car?"

John's wife smiles at the memory and replies, "of course, that was my first time."

John looks at his wife and says, "well 20 years ago your father gave me a choice. Either I marry you or spend 20 years in prison."

"That was a long time ago honey, and your not in prison."

John again starts sobbing and says, "I would have gotten out of prison today."

Did you guys know too much sex can cause memory loss?

I learnt that in a medical journal, page 34. At 3:38pm on Thursday the 7th.

I have the memory of an elephant.

I saw an elephant.

Wife asks her husband will he remarry if she dies.

Husband: No how can I think of remarrying.

Wife: Why not? You would need a partner for your bad times. Please remarry if I die.

Husband: You are so sweet... Even after death, you are worried about me.

Wife: Will you let her use my car?

Husband: Of course not

Wife: Will you give my jewellery to her

Husband: Not at all, I have some of my memories attached to it. I will keep it as your memory.

Wife: Will you give my shoes to her

Husband: No way... Her size is '5' and yours is '7'.

An 85-year-old grandfather was rushed to the hospital with no memory and brain damage.

The doctor asked him a series of questions:
Do you know where you are?
I'm at Rex Hospital.

What city are you in?
Raleigh.

Do you know who I am?
Dr. Hamilton.

the old grandfather then turned to the nurse and said, I hope he doesn't ask me any more questions. Why? she asked. Because all of those answers were on his badge.


guys i have copied this joke and edited formating. its not my original creation.

Do you know the oldest computer was owned by Adam and Eve?

It was an apple, with very limited memory, one byte and everything crashed!

A tourist decides to visit a Native American Chief who is famous for his perfect memory.

"Okay, Chief..." says the tourist,

"Let's test that memory of yours. What did you eat for breakfast on May 9th, 1972?"

The Chief thinks for a moment, and responds "Eggs."

The tourist replies, "Wow, that's incredible! You really do have a perfect memory." and leaves.



Ten years later the tourist finds himself in the Chief's neck of the woods and decides to pay him a visit.

He enters the Chief's home and respectfully greets him, saying "Hau, Chief."

The Chief promptly replies, "Scrambled."

Memory foam underwear

I bought some shoes with memory foam insoles. I was so excited about them! I told my wife I can't wait to wear them, they have memory foam! I want memory foam underwear! She said your underwear shouldn't remember anything.

Toughest time of my Life

I had the toughest time of my life. First, I got angina pectoris and then arteriosclerosis. Just as I was recovering from these, I got tuberculosis, double pneumonia and phthisis. Then they gave me hypodermics. Appendicitis was followed by tonsillectomy. These gave way to aphasia and hypertrophic cirrhosis. I completely lost my memory for a while. I know I had diabetes and acute ingestion, besides gastritis, rheumatism, lumbago and neuritis... I don't know how I pulled through it. It was the hardest spelling test I've ever had.

Yo momma's so fat...

She slept on a memory foam mattress and it never forgot.

If Alcohol can damage-your short term memory?

Imagine the damage Alcohol can do.

Why do women wear panties with flowers on them?

In loving memory of all the faces buried there.

Did you know there are many different words for lungs?

I just can't remember them because I have bad lung term memory

My fondest Childhood memory was making Sand Castles with Grandma.

Until my mother hid the Urn.

Remember sex on a regular basis helps keep your memory alive

I wish you all a happy 2016!

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the memory choice jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working memory bad memory piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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