The Best 49 Memories Jokes
Following is our collection of funniest Memories jokes. There are some memories memorize jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these memories memory clinic puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Funny Memories Jokes and Puns
I woke up after losing all my memories and this woman claimed to be my wife
I have a feeling that we've been together for as long as I can remember
Car company executives must have the best memories in the world
because GM recalls everything.
My first drink with my son
I was reading an article last night about fathers and sons, and memories came flooding back of the time I took my son out for his first drink.
Off we went to our local bar, which is only two blocks from the house.
I got him a Miller Genuine. He didn't like it – so I drank it.
Then I got him a Fosters, he didn't like it either, so I drank it.
It was the same with the Coors and the Bud.
By the time we got down to the Irish whiskey,
I could hardly push the stroller back home.
a man goes to confess after 25 years
So the man walks into the confession booth for the first time in his adult life, having nothing but bad memories about it from when he was a child.
So he opens the door, sits down and notices a couple of playboy nude calenders on the wall, a bottle of whiskey in the corner and a nice box of cigars next to it, and he thinks to himself "Wow, this place has really improved over the years"
But then the Father opens the door and yells "Get out! that's my booth!"
List of the shortest books
1. The Australian Book of Foreplay.
2. Contraception by the Pope.
3. The American Guide to Etiquette.
4. Healthy Marriages by the British Royal Family.
5. Consumer Marketing Ethics.
6. Career Opportunities for History Majors.
7. My Life's Memories by Ronald Reagan.
8. Integrity by Bill Clinton.
9. The Wit and Wisdom of George W. Bush.
10. What I've Accomplished by Barack Obama.
Oh the memories
You can tell a woman that she is beautiful 1000 times and she will pay no mind to your comments. But tell her that she's fat, just one time, and she will never let you forget it.
Do you want to know why that is?
Because an elephant never forgets.
I fondly remember the time I found a cure for dementia.
Ahh......That brings back memories.
I have fond memories of the sausage factory.
It was the best of times, it was the wurst of times.
What do you call memories of zombies?
FLESHBACKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ann! do you remember me? We have so many memories together
Ann: **SEGMENTATION FAULT**
Why do Indians have such good memories?
They're always recording you!
You can explore memories reminisce reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean memories memoirs dad jokes. There are also memories puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
An Irishman's First Drink With His Son
I was reading an article last night about fathers and sons, and memories came flooding back to the time I took my son out for his first drink.
Off we went to our local bar, which is only two blocks from the house.
I got him a Guinness Stout. He didn't like it - so I drank it.
Then I got him an Old Style. He didn't like it either, so I drank it.
It was the same with the Coors and the Bud.
By the time we got down to the Irish whiskey . . .
I could hardly push his stroller back home.
Memories.
That's how I want to be remembered.
What do people store their fondest memories in?
A nostaljar.
Apparently there is a way to permanently remove memories
But I forgot it.
Lately I've been confusing dreams with real memories.
This makes me sad because it means my dreams are becoming increasingly pedestrian.
How many Gestapo agents does it take to change a lightbulb?
VE VILL ASK ZE QUESTIONS!!!!
Courtesy of my brain throwing up random memories from primary school
Whenever i think of the past
It brings up so many memories
Goldfish
One day, baby goldfish went to ask him father :
"Dad, why do our memories only last for 3 seconds?"
"What son?"
"What?"
Did you hear about Michael Jackson's memoir of his childhood?
It's called *Fondle Memories*
I glued a picture of my deceased parrot onto my boomerang.
It brings back good memories.
I was visiting my hometown and I drove past the data recovery center I used to work at.
It really brought back a lot of memories.
One of my most loving memories of my mom was when I scraped my knee and she kissed my boo-boo and put a bandaid on it.
It really stuck with me.
I learned an evil magic spell to make readers feel great despair with only 3 words.
Awkward childhood memories.
Today Trump said that he has "one of the great memories of all time."
It was the time he walked into the Miss Teen USA dressing room.
I'm pretty sure that I experimented with homosexuality in college...
I'm not sue though, my memories are kind of Spacey.
When I was a kid I used to think I had a photographic memory.
All of my memories were blurred and cut off at the neck.
It was an amateur photographic memory.
My childhood memories of Christmas are dominated by the time I sneaked downstairs one Christmas Eve and heard my mother telling Father Christmas that he was a fat, lazy, good for nothing drunken slob...
I saw mommy dissing Santa Claus...
One of my proudest memories as a father was the day I got to cut the cord...
Needless to say my son won't be bungee jumping again.
I found my boomerang with RAM glued to it
Man that thing brought back memories
Playing a childhood video game to relive old memories is like hooking up with your EX...
Seems fun at first, but then you remember why you stopped in the first place.
I have the most vivid memories from my infancy
They're the breast.
One of my favorite childhood memories is my father coming out of the closet...
It was a huge surprise to me that not just *one*, but *both* my fathers were gay.
Final Memories
Three friends from the local congregation were asked, "When you're in your casket, and friends and congregation members are mourning over you, what would you like them to say?"
Artie said, "I would like them to say I was a wonderful husband, a fine spiritual leader, and a great family man."
Eugene commented, "I would like them to say I was a wonderful teacher and servant of God who made a huge difference in people's lives."
Al said, "I'd like them to say, 'Look, he's moving!'"
My fondest memories are of all the round trip plane tickets I bought.
Really takes me back.
Elton John
On vacation, Elton John finds himself meandering in a Mediterranean orchard. Spying a tree, Elton decides to relive some boyhood memories and climb a tree, albeit only the first branch.
As Elton sits, his well-heeled (and sparkly) feet dangling, a local boy walks by. Waving, Elton call out, "Would you like anything?"
"Fig!" The boy yells back.
Offended, Elton crosses his arms. "What did you call me?"
"No," the boy replies, pointing, "THAT low hanging fruit!"
The earthquake in Japan brought back a lot of tragic memories for everyone....
Like that time your mama fell over
"We divided the population as you requested Mr. President", announced the assistant at the door,"so we're just waiting for your approval on the memory wipe"
"Wipe the memories of groups 1-8, leave 9 and wipe 10 too." "Why leave 9 sir? 9 refers to children born between 1990 and 1999, why should they be left with their memories?"
The president looked out of the window
"Only 90s kids will remember this."
Where do you save your happiest memories?
On Cloud 9
It's not that pachyderms have great memories. They're just very adept at forgetting only that which is irrelephant.
TIL Hippocampal lesions prevent you from forming new memories
There was a note taped to my fridge
One of my earliest memories is seeing my mother's face through the oven window.
As we played hide and seek and she said: 'you're getting warmer'.
DID ANYONE SEE THE GIANT MAN EATING SPIDER ON TV LAST NIGHT????
I forgot he erases memories
Credit to my brother
My Memory is like a Goldfish.
Like a Goldfish, all my memories start with water in front of my eyes.
Just some aqueous humor for you guys.
Harry was finally a groom and was very excited about his upcoming marriage.
He was on his way out of the office when his boss came over to him.
Congratulations Harry, his boss said. I just wanted to tell you I've been married for 22 years, and I'm sure that you will always remember this day with the fondest of memories, as the happiest day of your life.
But, I'm not getting married until tomorrow, Harry said.
Yeah I know, his boss said.
Are people born with photographic memories,
or does it take time to develop?
One of my earliest memories as a child was getting to meet the pope,
It was a touching experience.
You know?If I learned anything...
I can say, 'maturity is a lot like my childhood memories of my school time bullies. They were right'.
Doctor tells a man that he will die by the next morning
The man goes home and tells his wife about this and asks her to stay awake the whole night so they can talk about all the good memories they share.
The wife starts to fall asleep after some time. The man asks "Why are you falling asleep?"
The wife replies "You don't have to wake up tomorrow morning, but I do!"
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the memories fondly jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working memories childhood piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.