Memo Jokes

President George W. Bush decides it is time to do some public relations at a local Washington DC nursing home.
The President begins his "tour" down the main hallway and passes by a little old man who doesn't seem to notice him.
Sensing this, President Bush backtracks to the resident and asks, "Do you know who I am?"
The little old man looks up from his walker and says, "No, but if you go to the front desk, they will tell you your name."

My first memory occurred 9 months before I was born...

...I remember going to this party with my dad but then i went home with my mom.

The memo

An older man hires a guy every fall and his only job is to use my leaf blower and get the leaves out my yard.
He only pays in checks though. Just so he may write "thanks for the blow" on the memo line.

My memory is fantastic! In fact, I have a photogenic memory!

Whenever I think back, I recall how great I looked!

What did the memory say to the processor?

If you apply a voltage to me, I'm going to flip a bit!

I have a photographer's memory

Or is it photographic? I always forget.

Memorizing the Capitols

A man tells his friend, "I've memorized the capitols of every state." His friend is suspicious, and asks, "What's the Capitol of New Hampshire?" The man laughs. "That's a trick question. There's two. N and H."

The memory on my phone is FIFA'ed

Sorry.....Corrupt.

My memory is warped and skips often

You could call it phonographic

Memories.

That's how I want to be remembered.

Memorial Day...respectful joke. A small boy was staring at the names on the wall of an old church

when the pastor noticed him.
"What are you looking at?" asked the clergyman.
"All those names. Who are they?" the boy asked.
The pastor nodded, and said, "They are the reason we have Memorial Day. They are those who died in the service."
The little boy considered that, then asked quietly, "The 9 o'clock service or the 11 o'clock?"

My memory isn't what it used to be

...i think. I can't really remember how good it was.

In memory of Arnold Palmer, I wore my golf underwear today...

...the one's with 18 holes.
(Too soon?)

I've memorized all the digits in pi, I'm not sure why everyone thinks it's so hard.

0, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9

My memory is like a stick of RAM

It forgets everything by the time I go to sleep

My memory is kinda foggy...

A lot of the details get mist.

My memory is bad so I put 'incorrect' as my password.

Whenever I type a wrong password it'd say 'Your Password is Incorrect'

What did the memory address say to the program when the program was giving advice to it?

Thanks for the pointer!

If Memory serves me right this time...

I'll have an extra side of mashed potatoes!

In memory of my father, who died of blood loss because sadly no one could figure out his blood type.

As I stood beside him it was incredibly moving to hear him repeat, over and over, these inspirational last words: "Be positive, son! Be positive!"
Father, I don't know if you can hear me, but if you do, just know I will always remember to be positive.

What's more memorable than a passionate kiss?

A stab wound

Everyone has memory problems and they are no laughing matter.

I can't remember who isn't a laughing matter, but I think it's someone we shouldn't be laughing at.

In memory of Stephen Hawking, I am reminded of my favorite quote from him:

My memory foam mattress broke yesterday...

It has amnesia

Let's memorize the repeated decimal 0.818181..... forever.

You said you would never forget 9/11

I have the memory of an elephant.

I remember one time I went to the zoo and saw an elephant.

I have the memory of a goldfish

And a Nobel prize for inventing the device that could extract it.

I have a memory from before I was even born....

I remember I went to the park with my dad, then went home with my mom.

If everyone had the memory of a goldfish.

I forgot where I was going with this.....

I've memorized the hippocratic oath! It goes: 'Clack clack clack clack clack!'

To be fair, it's the Hungry Hungry Hippocratic oath.

My Memory is like a Goldfish.

Like a Goldfish, all my memories start with water in front of my eyes.
Just some aqueous humor for you guys.

Memory foam pillows are the worst.

As soon as I lay down on them, I start remembering all the things I messed up during the day.

Say what you will about memory loss...

But, say what you will about memory loss.

Memory problems are no joke

Because you forget the punchline

Memory joke

Jimmy: I have a joke.
Sara: OK, tell me.
Jimmy: It's about memory.
Sara: OK.
Jimmy: I forgot what it was.

How much memory does it take to store a joke ?

One Gigglebyte.

In memorial of Sean Connery: My favorite knock knock joke. (Say out loud for best effect)

Knock knock.
Who's there?
Dish
Dish Who?
(Said in Sean Connery accent) DISH IS SEAN CONNERY LET ME IN!

I tried to memorize 100 digits of pi today

But why would I worry about pi on my cake day?

How do you memorialize the death of a planet?

You write an orbituary.

I think I might have a memory problem.

I think I might have a memory problem.

Memory foam underwear

I bought some shoes with memory foam insoles. I was so excited about them! I told my wife I can't wait to wear them, they have memory foam! I want memory foam underwear! She said your underwear shouldn't remember anything.

They say memory is the second thing to go as you get older

What is the first thing to go? I don't remember...

How do you get your memory foam bed to like and support you?

You make a good impression.

In memory of recently passed Benedict XVI

WW2. Young german soldier captures pole. At the moment he aiming to shoot him lightning crack the sky and they hear God's voice:
- Don't shoot him, he is a future Pope
- Wow what about me?
- Ok, fine, you too