Melted Jokes
53 melted jokes and hilarious melted puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about melted that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Are you ready to get your giggle on? Check out our collection of melted jokes! From puddles of melted snowman and sticky-sweet melted ice cream, to candy-like caramel and bejeweled bleu, these silly jokes will give you a serious case of the giggles.
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Funniest Melted Short Jokes
Short melted jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The melted humour may include short melts jokes also.
- My chemistry teacher told me I had to write a 1,000 word essay on acid. Unfortunately, my pen turned into a gorilla and the floor melted.
- Donald Trump is like a marshmallow... He's easy to roast, a little orange on top, catches fire easily, and will melt down when he gets under too much heat.
- What do you do with 365 used condoms? Melt them down, make a tire and call it a Goodyear.
(Yes, I have been waiting till the end of the year to write this) - For our chemistry exam we had to write a thousand words on acid. Unfortunately my pen turned into a gorilla and the floor melted.
- I just melted an ice cube by staring at it. Took a bit longer than I thought it would, though.
- For my chemistry homework, I was supposed to write a thousand words on acid. I tried, but my pen turned into a rainbow-coloured giraffe and then the desk melted.
- Why do snowflakes avoid the winter solstice? They don't want to melt under its powerful night time gaze.
- Why did the snowman invite the sun to the winter solstice party? To melt the ice and break the ice!
- Why did the snowman refuse to play cards on the winter solstice? It didn't want to "melt" under pressure.
- My health science teacher told me to write a 1,000 word essay on drugs The paper became a taco and the floor was melting.
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Melted One Liners
Which melted one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with melted? I can suggest the ones about melting ice and burnt.
- Global warming can reduce terrorism because the isis melting.
- Did you know global warming is reducing terrorism? The ISIS melting.
- What do you call a snowman's favorite winter solstice activity? Melting the night away!
- What do you call a snowman on the winter solstice? Melted potential.
- Why do snowmen make terrible detectives? They always melt under pressure!
- If someone calls me a snowflake one more time... I'm going to melt down.
- What did the sun say after melting Frosty the Snowman? I came, I thaw, I conquered .
- Why was no one sad when the headless snowman melted? He was a snowbody.
- Why are conservatives climate change deniers? Because they want to melt the snowflakes!
- It's so hot this summer… The Halloween candy at Walmart is starting to melt.
- Where do the monkeys melt their cheese? Under the gorilla.
- How does Trump not believe in climate change? He can't stop melting down
- Ice Cube is 48 years old, but still hasn't melted. Do you know why? Man's not hot.
- How do you melt a snowflake? Take a knee
- What do you call a sundae that melts away and turns into garbage? A Mon-dae
Melted Ice Cream Jokes
Here is a list of funny melted ice cream jokes and even better melted ice cream puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Have you ever seen a baby dragon eating ice cream? It'll melt your heart.
- Love is like an ice cream girl so eat it before it melts.
- Why'd the little girls ice-cream melt? She was on fire.
Melted Snowman Jokes
Here is a list of funny melted snowman jokes and even better melted snowman puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Why did the snowman bring a compass to the winter solstice party? He wanted to find his way home before he melted away.
- Heard this from a waiter at dinner tonight. Hey baby, my name is Olaf...like the snowman. Mind if I melt inside you?
Five star restaurant I am laughing out loud right now hahaj - One snowman asks another:'How do you stay in such a good shape?' He answers:'All I do is set the hairdryer on high heat and pounds just melt away' :D
- What do you tell a melting snowman? Chill out man
- What do you call a melted snowman? Spring.
Experience Instant Grins & Giggles with Playful Melted Jokes
What funny jokes about melted you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean shattered jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make melted pranks.
A little girl walked into a pet shop and asked in the sweetest lisp: "Excuthe me, mithter, do you keep widdle wabbits?"
As the shop keeper's heart melted, he got down on his knees to her level, asking: "Do you want a widdle white wabbit, or a thoft and fuwwwy bwack wabbit, or maybe one like this cute widdle bwown wabbit over here?"
The little girl leaned forward and said: "I don't fink my pet python weally gives a thit."
When Kim Kardashian dies...
Will she be put in a grave or melted along with the rest of the plastic?
I got arrested the other day after police found me covering a boy with melted sugar
I was charged with child molassation
How to get out of buying your kids Christmas presents
Explain to them that due to Global Warming that the North Pole melted and that Santa and the reindeer drowned.
Did you hear about the prisoners who got melted together?
It was Con-fusing to say the least.
I dropped an ice cube next to the freezer. It melted and got my sock wet the next time I went to the kitchen.
I was mad at first, but now it's mostly water under the fridge.
Many years ago I knew a man who's love for God was matched only by his love of dipping meat into melted cheese.
That's right, he was a Christian fonduementalist.
Step-dad tells his step-son to clean his room
Step-son: Am I going to have to pour hot melted cheese all over myself?
Step-dad: Why would you have to do that?
Step-son: To remind you that I'm NACHO son
I called my repairman to complain about a faulty icemaker that had been leaking ...
When he came back out to the house, he discovered it was just some ice that had fallen and melted on the floor. I offered my apologies for the mistake. The repairman told me not to worry, as far as he was concerned, it was water under the fridge.
A penguin takes his car to the shop and the mechanic says it'll take about an hour for him to check it
While he waits, the penguin goes to an ice cream shop and orders a big sundae to pass the time. The penguin isn't the neatest eater, and he ends up covered in melted ice cream. When he returns to the shop, the mechanic takes one look at him and says, "Looks like you blew a seal." "No," the penguin insists, "it's just ice cream."
My chemistry teacher told me to write 1000 words on acid
I tried, but my pen turned into a gorilla and the floor melted.
Did you hear about the guy at the gun store who got fired?
He went ballistic.
Did you hear about the apartment building that got blown up? There were roomers everywhere.
Bob: Do you know why my pool exploded?
Joe: Na.
Did you hear about the power plant employee that went on a shooting spree? People say he went melted down and went nuclear.
The Jackson estate recently made an announcement...
That upon his death, they'd had Michael's body melted down and cast into pieces of LEGO.
So now it's finally safe for the kids to play with Michael.
I am a 20 year old male dyslexic who loves cockporn..
and love to eat it with lots & lots of hot melted butter
Chuck Norris opened the Ark of the Covenant and kept his eyes open. The Ark melted.
Went ice fishing yesterday. Caught over a hundred pounds...
Unfortunately most of it melted by the time I got home.
How did i know for sure global warming was real?
On the day Trump got elected over 50 million snowflakes melted at once.
An ice cube decided to wear a new hat
A nice man saw this, and said to the ice cube: "Looking solid, dude!"
The ice cube absolutely melted at this sweet compliment.
Now he's looking liquid, dude.
If someone woke you up by throwing melted butter and flour on you...
It'd be a rouxed awakening.
What's grey?
A melted penguin
There is no solid evidence of global warming...
...it all melted.
The polar ice caps just melted and The Netherlands got fully submerged
Now they're called The m**... Trench
Why did Club Penguin shut down?
The Republicans melted the ice caps.
Do you know how easy it is to make a Victoria sponge topped with pepperoni and melted cheese?
It's a Pizza cake
