The Best 54 Melons Jokes

Following is our collection of funniest Melons jokes. There are some melons melon jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these melons apples puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Funny Melons Jokes and Puns

What do gays and melons have in common?


Shopping for Melons

My wife sent me to the supermarket with a grocery list, but when I unfolded and read it, all it said was "melons".
I guess it was the honey dew list.


Ladies, If life gives you lemons, a simple operation can give you melons :p

Melons joke, Ladies....

why don't melons run away to get married?

because they cantaloupe

The warning sign

There was a watermelon plantation which had been constantly spoiled by night thieves who were trespassing to steal melons. The owner came with an idea to repel the intruders: he put a warning sign on the plantation's fence: "Beware! Steal on your own risk! One melon below this fence is poisoned!"

The next day, there were no more missing melons and a short text added on the warning sign: "Now there are two".

The melons

Why did the melons get married in a church?

Because they cant-elope.

Why couldn't the melons get married?

Because they cant-elope

Melons joke, Why couldn't the melons get married?

Why would two melons in love hate their parents?

Because they cantaloupe.


What kind of melons always have big weddings?


Tag line outside a Breast Implant Clinic:

If nature has given you "lemons"

we will re-arrange the alphabets & convert them into "melons" !!

Why don't melons marry on a whim?

They cantaloupe.

You can explore melons boobs reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean melons watermelon dad jokes. There are also melons puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

Why were the melons upset when they were denied a marriage license?

Because it means they *cantaloupe*

When life gives you melons

You might be a woman

I always wanted to marry a girl with nice big melons...

Too bad she cantalope :(

If life gives you melons, you might be dyslexic.

If life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. If life gives you melons...

You might have sex daily!

Melons joke, If life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. If life gives you melons...

Two melons have a secret love affair...

One melon says to the other, "baby, I love you so much. I just wanna sneak away and get married right now."

The other responds, "no, we cantaloupe."

Why were the two melons in love so frustrated?

Because they cantaloupe.

Why were the 2 in love melons upset?

Because they cantaloupe.

(The wife thought of this one... hopefully nobody else has posted it)

Why do melons always have big weddings?

Because they can't elope.

Why do melons always have church weddings?

Because they cantaloupe.

When life gives you lemons...

... a simple surgery can give you melons.

Why do melons always get married in a church?

Because they cantaloupe!

^^^^^^^I'm ^^^^^^^so ^^^^^^^sorry

Why do melons have expensive weddings?

They cantaloupe.

Why do melons have such extravagant weddings?

Because they cantaloupe

How do you know when you're dyslexic?

When life hands you melons.

Why did the melons have a small wedding?

Because they cantaloupe.

When life gives you melons

You play with them

Being dyslexic hasn't stopped me from having a positive outlook on life..

Because when life gives you melons, make melonade.

Why do melons always ask their parents before getting married?

Because they canteloupe.

What do you call two melons who can't be married?


Why do melons always have traditional weddings?

Because they cantaloupe

Why do melons hold the traditional ceremony of marriage in such high regard?

Because they can't elope.

Why do melons have large weddings?

Because they cantaloupe.

Why do melons need their parents' permission to get married?

Because they can't elope!

A farmer kept getting water melons stolen, so one day he puts a sign up that says 'one of these watermelons is poisoned' next day he gets up and goes out to work in his watermelon patch and sees another sign

'now there are two'

What's the saddest part about the relationship between a melon farmer and the girl who is allergic to melons?

They cant-elope!

Why are melons stuck in arranged marriages?

Because they cantaloupe.

Why don't melons get married?

They can't elope.

Two Melons Fall In Love

The guy says, I love you so much, my sweet little honey dew. I don't want to wait. Let's run away to Vegas together.

The girl replies, No, baby. I cantaloupe.

Two melons are sitting in a field, talking about how much they love each other...

The first melon talks about how it wants a great big wedding, and how all their fruit and vegetable friends will be there to celebrate. The other melon wants them to run away together and have a 4-H judge do a quick ceremony. They argue passionately back and forth, when exasperated the second melon asks, "why do we even need to have a wedding?" The first melon replies, "don't be silly honey, we cantaloupe."

Did you hear about the two melons who are being pressured by their parents into having a traditional wedding?

They cantaloupe

What do you call a group of sad melons?

A melon-colony.

Where do melons go for summer fun?

John Cougar Mellencamp

Melons are unable to run away and get married.

They can't elope

Why won't the melons get married?

Because they cantaloupe.

So two melons went to their local church and tried to get married.

...however, the preacher would not perform the ceremony. Then they ran away together and contacted a Justice of the Peace, but he wouldn't marry them either. When they asked why, he simply exclaimed, "cantalope".

When life gives you melons...

You are dyslexic

Why do melons always get married in church?

They cantaloupe

Why did the two melons have a large wedding?

Because they can't elope.

If life gives you melons...'re probably dyslexic

Why don't melons ever get married?

They cantaloupe

If life gives you melons.

You've probably got dyslexia

When life gives you melons

You're most likely dyslexic

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the melons baller jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working melons cantaloupe piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes