The Best 62 Melon Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Melon jokes. There are some melon watermelon jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these melon seedless puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Melon Jokes and Puns

What do you get when you mix a broccoli and a melon?

The saddest vegetable known to man: a melonccoli.

What did the melon tell her boyfriend when he proposed?

Yes but we cantaloupe.

why don't melons run away to get married?

because they cantaloupe

Melon joke, why don't melons run away to get married?

The warning sign

There was a watermelon plantation which had been constantly spoiled by night thieves who were trespassing to steal melons. The owner came with an idea to repel the intruders: he put a warning sign on the plantation's fence: "Beware! Steal on your own risk! One melon below this fence is poisoned!"

The next day, there were no more missing melons and a short text added on the warning sign: "Now there are two".

Why couldn't the melons get married?

Because they cant-elope

Why would two melons in love hate their parents?

Because they cantaloupe.


What do you call a pessimistic melon?

A cantaloupe

Melon joke, What do you call a pessimistic melon?

Why don't melons marry on a whim?

They cantaloupe.

There was a farmer who grew watermelons...

He was doing pretty well, but he was disturbed by some local kids who would sneak into his water melon patch at night and eat his watermelons. After some careful thought, he came up with a clever idea that he thought would scare the kids away for sure. He made up a sign and posted it in the field. The next day, the kids show up and they saw the sign which read, "Warning! One of the watermelons in this field has been injected with cyanide." The kids ran off, made up their own sign and posted it next to the farmer's sign. When the farmer returned, he surveyed the field. He noticed that no watermelons are missing, but the sign next to his read, "Now there are two!!!"

What did one Melon say to the other after it was asked marry it?

We Can't Alope

What do you call a Mexican melon?

A cantelopez!

Came up with this on all by myself. I'm a new Dad, so I feel as if I've significantly leveled up my Dad Joke ability.

You can explore melon oranges reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean melon pear dad jokes. There are also melon puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

Why were the melons upset when they were denied a marriage license?

Because it means they *cantaloupe*

What did the one melon say to the other melon?

We're too young to marry. We cantaloupe.

What's the best kind of fruit to marry?

A melon.
They can't elope.

What did the runaway melon say to the honeydew on Valentine's Day?

I cantaloupe.

Why did the melon leave her boyfriend?

He said he can't elope.

Melon joke, Why did the melon leave her boyfriend?

Two melons have a secret love affair...

One melon says to the other, "baby, I love you so much. I just wanna sneak away and get married right now."

The other responds, "no, we cantaloupe."

Why were the two melons in love so frustrated?

Because they cantaloupe.

Why do melons always have big weddings?

Because they can't elope.

Why did the couple bring a melon to their honeymoon?

Because they cantaloupe...

Why do melons always have church weddings?

Because they cantaloupe.

What did one melon say to the other?

"Honeydew love me??"
"Yes! But I... Cantaloupe"

I tried marrying a melon...

But apparently we cantaloupe

A melon went to ask his girlfriends parents if he could marry her

The mother replied, "sure but you cant elope"

Why do melons always get married in a church?

Because they cantaloupe!

^^^^^^^I'm ^^^^^^^so ^^^^^^^sorry

Why do melons have expensive weddings?

They cantaloupe.

Why do melons have such extravagant weddings?

Because they cantaloupe

What's half fruit, half dog and is rather sad?

A Melon Collie.

...I'll get my coat.

Why did the melons have a small wedding?

Because they cantaloupe.

What do you call a melon that can't marry abroad?

A cantaloupe.

Why do melons always have traditional weddings?

Because they cantaloupe

Why do melons hold the traditional ceremony of marriage in such high regard?

Because they can't elope.

When I was a boy...

"I was walking along a street and happened to spy a cart full of watermelons. I was fond of watermelon, so I sneaked quietly on the cart and snitched one. I then ran into a nearby alley and sank my teeth into the melon.

No sooner had I done so, however, than a strange feeling came over me. Without a moment's hesitation, I made my decision. I walked back to the cart, replaced the melon -

And took a ripe one."
-Mark Twain

Why do melons have large weddings?

Because they cantaloupe.

I wanted to marry a melon

but I cantaloupe.

2nd attempt because marry not merry

Why do melons need their parents' permission to get married?

Because they can't elope!

What's the saddest part about the relationship between a melon farmer and the girl who is allergic to melons?

They cant-elope!

Two Melons Fall In Love

The guy says, I love you so much, my sweet little honey dew. I don't want to wait. Let's run away to Vegas together.

The girl replies, No, baby. I cantaloupe.

Two melons are sitting in a field, talking about how much they love each other...

The first melon talks about how it wants a great big wedding, and how all their fruit and vegetable friends will be there to celebrate. The other melon wants them to run away together and have a 4-H judge do a quick ceremony. They argue passionately back and forth, when exasperated the second melon asks, "why do we even need to have a wedding?" The first melon replies, "don't be silly honey, we cantaloupe."

My girlfriend of six years is a melon. She broke my heart when I proposed to her today.

She said, I just cantaloupe with you.

Mr. Pineapple and his Honey Melon are berry in love..

"Sweety, we are ripe for a wedding! Let's invite olive our fruity friends!"

"Are you sure we cantaloupe?"

What do you call a sad cantaloupe in a telephone booth?

Melon call ya

Where do melons go for summer fun?

John Cougar Mellencamp

What did one melon say to the other when it was asked by it to run away and get married?

We cantaloupe

My neighbor has a 15 acre farm, he breeds dogs to do work on them. He grows cantaloupe, and come harvest time the dogs sniff out the ripe ones and bring them back to the barn.

He says the breed are Melon Collies

Why is the quarantined melon couple sad?

Because they cantaloupe :(

My dog got a cantaloupe stuck on his head

Ever since then he's been a little melon collie.

Why did the melon go to jail?

Because it committed a melony.

Why do melons have weddings?

Because they cantaloupe!

Why do melons always get married in church?

They cantaloupe

Why did the two melons have a large wedding?

Because they can't elope.

Just found out there was a anew town in America for sad people who just ate fruit.

Twas a melon colony.

Why don't melons ever get married?

They cantaloupe

Did you know that cultures with arranged marriages typically serve melon at the wedding feast?

Yep. It symbolizes the fact that they cantelope.

Why didn't the fruit salad get sunburnt?

Because it had plenty of melon in.

Why can't melons get married?

They cantaloupe ^sorry ^I'll ^leave

What kind of melon can't get married in Las Vegas?


...I'm sorry.

Why was the young melon couple so upset?

Because they cantaloupe

What do you call a bra company for cows?

Moo Moo Melon.

Why did the melon boyfriend and girlfriend have a big wedding?

Because they cantaloupe!

What did the watermelon say to the honeydew melon?

We're not right for each other, we can't elope (Cantaloupe)

Standing in the produce area of the grocery store, holding up a melon.....

Once you get married, you cantalope

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the melon plums jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working melon gourd piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes