Melania Trump Jokes
48 melania trump jokes and hilarious melania trump puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about melania trump that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Melania Trump Short Jokes
Short melania trump jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The melania trump humour may include short ivanka trump jokes also.
- Donald Trump is the next President but... The biggest winner is Melania Trump. She can now call herself The First Lady instead of The Third Wife.
- Why doesn't Melania Trump want her husband to become President? She doesn't want to move into a smaller house in a black neighborhood.
- Donald Trump and his wife Melania have tested positive for coronavirus. I didn't realise they were that close!
- President Trump treated Biden likely how he treats Melania. He never lets either of them finish.
- It's Trump's wedding anniversary in a few days and in a rare tender moment, he described the first time he ever laid eyes on Melania... ..and clicked 'add to cart'
- What's the difference between Melania Trump and the FBI? The FBI is still coming for President Trump.
(Fixed the typo...) - What did Melania Trump have on her Black Friday shopping list? A copy of everything Michelle Obama had on her list
- After the debate Melania went up to Trump and said We can still win this, we just have to be positive and patient.
- Trump and Melania are in bed... Melania says she wants to get a few new things for their house. Trump replies about what he'd like in return.. Melania replies "Donald, our shower is already golden"
- What's the difference between a gemologist and Melania Trump? A gemologist knows what hard feels like.
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Melania Trump One Liners
Which melania trump one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with melania trump? I can suggest the ones about donald trump and michelle obama.
- What did Melania Trump say to her divorce lawyers? Stand back and stand by
- Trump: THE BIG ONE is coming! The court: Denied. Melania: Same lie every night
- Melania Trumps RNC speech just leaked on live TV It was read aloud by Michelle Obama.
- Breaking news: Melania Trump's n**... pics are now online Fake n**...
Hilarious Melania Trump Jokes for a Fun-Filled Night with Friends
What funny jokes about melania trump you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean hillary clinton jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make melania trump pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
So Barack Obama and Donald Trump somehow ended up at the same barber shop...
As they sat there, each being worked on by a different barber, not a word was spoken. The barbers were both afraid to start a conversation, for fear that it would turn n**.... As the barbers finished their shaves in silence, the one who had Trump in his chair reached for the aftershave. But Donald was quick to stop him, jokingly saying, "No thanks. My wife, Melania, will smell that and think I've been in a brothel." The second barber turned to Barack and said, "How about you, Mr. Obama ?" Barack replied, "Go right ahead, my wife Michelle doesn't know what the inside of a brothel smells like."
I knew something wasn't right with Melania Trump's speech...
... when she came out on stage in blackface and referred to her daughters Malia and Natasha.
Obvious media bias
Michelle Obama gives a speech when her husband is being nominated, and the media is generally positive. Melania Trump gives the exact same speech, and the media pretends it's some kind of scandal.
All these people are so quick to criticize Melania Trump for wanting to take on cyber bullying when that's something her husband has a problem with
But no one criticized Laura Bush for wanting to teach kids how to read
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I finally figured out why Donald Trump married Melania...
...she came from ***YUUUUUUUUUUUUG***oslavia.
~~(thank you, thank you, I'll be here all week)~~
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Melania Trump had just undergone f**... botox surgery when an extremely venomous snake bit her eyebrow. Sadly, no living thing has ever survived this creature's toxin.
The snake died moments later.
So I heard Donald Trump announced Melania will be giving a speech...
... glad to hear Michelle Obama will have writing work after leaving the White House.
What's the worse that can happen with Trump & Melania
Melania divorces Trump and gets half the country of USA.
Trump was stunned when he first laid eyes on Melania. Slowly he approached.
He smiled and said "I must order this one" as he picked up the catalogue from the table.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Barack V/s Trump
Barack Obama and Donald Trump somehow ended up at the same barber shop, can you just imagine…
As they sat there, each being worked on by a different barber, not a word was spoken. The barbers were both afraid to start a conversation, for fear it would turn n**....
As the barbers finished their shaves, the one who had Trump in his chair reached for the aftershave.
But Donald was quick to stop him, jokingly saying, "No thanks. My wife, Melania, will smell that and think I've been in a brothel."
The second barber turned to Barack and said, "How about you, Mr. Obama ?"
Barack replied, "Go right ahead, my wife Michelle, doesn't know what the inside of a brothel smells like."
A secret service agent, nervous on his first day, sees Donald, Melania, and Barron Trump walking through the Whitehouse.
The new agent asks his supervisor, "Wow, is that really the First family?"
The supervisor, unfazed, replies, No, I think this is at least the third for Mr. Trump."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Obama vs trump
Donald Trump and Barack Obama ended up at the same barber shop. As they sat there, each being worked on by a different barber, not a word was spoken. The barbers were both afraid to start a conversation, for fear that it would turn n**.... As the barbers finished their shaves in silence, the one who had Trump in his chair reached for the aftershave. But Donald was quick to stop him, jokingly saying, "No thanks. My wife, Melania, will smell that and think I've been in a brothel." The second barber turned to Barack and said, "How about you, Mr. Obama?" Barack replied, "Go right ahead, my wife Michelle doesn't know what the inside of a brothel smells like."
Source : Quora
During a quiet moment at a White House dinner, Melania Trump leaned over to chat with secretary of State, Tillerson.
"I bought Donald a parrot for his birthday. That bird is so smart, Donald has already taught him to say more than two hundred words!"
Wow, that's impressive," said Tillerson, "but, you do realize he just speaks the words. He doesn't really understand what they all mean.
"Oh, I know", replied Melania, but neither does the parrot."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Trump and Obama at the barber
Donald Trump and Barack Obama ended up at the same barber shop. As they sat there, each being worked on by a different barber, not a word was spoken. The barbers were both afraid to start a conversation, for fear that it would turn n**.... As the barbers finished their shaves in silence, the one who had Trump in his chair reached for the aftershave. But Donald was quick to stop him, jokingly saying, "No thanks. My wife, Melania, will smell that and think I've been in a brothel." The second barber turned to Barack and said, "How about you, Mr. Obama?" Barack replied, "Go right ahead, my wife Michelle doesn't know what the inside of a brothel smells like."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Obama and Trump get a shave...
Donald Trump and Barack Obama ended up at the same barber shop. As they sat there, each being worked on by a different barber, not a word was spoken. The barbers were both afraid to start a conversation, for fear that it would turn n**.... As the barbers finished their shaves in silence, the one who had Trump in his chair reached for the aftershave. But Donald was quick to stop him, jokingly saying, "No thanks. My wife, Melania, will smell that and think I've been in a brothel." The second barber turned to Barack and said, "How about you, Mr. Obama?" Barack replied, "Go right ahead, my wife Michelle doesn't know what the inside of a brothel smells like."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Trump and Obama at a Barber shop
Donald Trump and Barack Obama ended up at the same barber shop. As they sat there, each being worked on by a different barber, not a word was spoken.
The barbers were both afraid to start a conversation, for fear that it would turn n**....
As the barbers finished their shaves in silence, the one who had Trump in his chair reached for the aftershave. But Donald was quick to stop him, jokingly saying, "No thanks. My wife, Melania, will smell that and think I've been in a brothel."
The second barber turned to Barack and said, "How about you, Mr. Obama?" Barack replied, "Go right ahead, my wife, Michelle, doesn't know what the inside of a brothel smells like."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
One of the better Trump jokes I have heard
Donald Trump and Barack Obama ended up at the same barber shop. As they sat there, each being worked on by a different barber, not a word was spoken. The barbers were both afraid to start a conversation, for fear that it would turn n**.... As the barbers finished their shaves in silence, the one who had Trump in his chair reached for the aftershave. But Donald was quick to stop him, jokingly saying, "No thanks. My wife, Melania, will smell that and think I've been in a brothel." The second barber turned to Barack and said, "How about you, Mr. Obama?" Barack replied, "Go right ahead, my wife, Michelle, doesn't know what the inside of a brothel smells like."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Donald Trump and Barack Obama ended up at the same barbershop.
As they sat there, each being worked on by a different barber, not a word was spoken. The barbers were both afraid to start a conversation, for fear that it would turn n**.... As the barbers finished their shaves in silence, the one who had Trump in his chair reached for the aftershave. But Donald was quick to stop him, jokingly saying, "No thanks. My wife, Melania, will smell that and think I've been in a brothel." The second barber turned to Barack and said, "How about you, Mr. Obama?" Barack replied, "Go right ahead, my wife, Michelle, doesn't know what the inside of a brothel smells like."
Everyone is on Trump for avoiding the WWI Memorial because of rain, but it was really Melania who didn't want to go.
She doesn't remember what it's like to be wet.
Trump: "How dare you call me conniving!" Mueller: "Mr. Trump, do you know the meaning of the word 'connive'?
Trump: "Of course I do! It's what Melania uses to cut my steak!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The Trump Family is flying from New York to DC
Donald-"I think I'll throw a $1000 bill out the window and make some American happy"
Melania- "Why don't you throw ten $100 bills and make ten Americans happy?
Ivanka- "It will be even better if you throw one hundred $10 dollar bills and make one hundred people happy?
The pilot hears the conversation and exclaims "Why don't y'all jump out the window and make the entire country happy?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Trump was out walking on a beautiful snowy day, when he saw that somebody had urinated on the White House lawn to spell out "The President s**...."
Infuriated, Trump called on the secret service to figure out who had done it. In a few hours, they came to him and told him that there was some bad news and some worse news.
"The bad news is that the u**... is from Putin."
"Vlad? How could he do this to me? What could be worse than this?"
"The handwriting's is Melania's."
Great 1st Ladies of the United States have there own cause. Michelle Obama's: Your Truth, Melania Trump's: Be Best...
Jackie Kennedy's: Take your shot
As Trump flies in his helicopter over DC
As Trump flies in his helicopter over DC, he says to Melania:
Look, there are a million Trump fans gathered in the streets to wave to me.
She says: No, Donald. There are five million. But they are only waving with one finger each.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's the similarity between America and Melania Trump?
They're both getting s**... by Donald Trump and neither one of them is happy about it.
I came up with this last night, but it might be a repost.
Donald and Melania Trump walk into a restaurant
They sit at a table and peruse the menu, and the waiter comes over.
Good afternoon, can I take your order please?
Can I have the chocolate fudge dessert, and Melania will have the sorbet
Just desserts Mr President?
Yes, Just Desserts
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Trump looks out on the snow covered White House Lawn, and notices that someone has p**... Trump s**... in the fresh snow.
Furious, he demands the Secret Service investigate. A few days later, the head of the SS says Mr President, I've got good news and bad news. The good news is we've done a dna test on the u**..., and found the culprit. It turns out it's Mike Pence's. That traitor , shouts Trump. I'll have him hanged! Now, what did you say was the bad news? Well , says the SS chief, turns out it's Melania's handwriting .
A guy walks up to the Trump residence and presses the interphone...
Melania answers...
He says: Can I talk to the president?
Melania: Sorry, but mr. Trump isn't the president anymore...
He waits for a few minutes and rings again: Can I talk to the president?
Melania: Sorry, but mr. Trump isn't the president anymore...
He does this a couple of times until
Melania: Hey mister! I TOLD YOU, DONALD ISN'T THE PRESIDENT ANYMORE!!!
Guy: I know... it just great to hear it again and again...
Biden and Trump are at the same barber shop
Biden and Trump are at the same barber shop. As they sat there, each one being worked on by a different barber, not one word was spoken. When the barbers finished shaving, the barber that had Trump reached for the aftershave. Trump quickly stopped him saying: No thanks, Melania will smell that and think I've been in a brothel. The second barber turned to Biden and said, How about you, Mr. Biden? Joe replied, Go ahead, Jill doesn't know what the inside of a brothel smells like.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What does Michael Jordan and Melania Trump have in common?
The both made a fortune playing with orange b**...