Meeting Jokes

169 meeting jokes and hilarious meeting puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about meeting that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Whether you're in a virtual meeting, a reunion, a meeting of the parents, or just trying to break the ice with a girl, the best way to lighten up the mood is with a few meeting jokes. Get the conversation flowing with these funny takes on meeting agendas, minutes, and more.

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Funniest Meeting Short Jokes

Short meeting jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The meeting humour may include short meets jokes also.

  1. Where do little jokes come from? Well, a dad joke meets yo momma joke and then they knock knock.
  2. Apparently my family is racist I had them meet my new black girlfriend and they all started screaming at us. Especially my wife.
  3. My wife told me, If anything happens to me, I want you to meet someone new. Apparently, anything doesn't include getting stuck in traffic.
  4. Father: Son, you were adopted. Son: What?! I knew it! I want to meet my biological parents!"
    Father: We are your biological parents. Now pack up, the new ones will pick you up in 20 minutes.
  5. Guys, don't install adblock I did, and now the hot singles in my area don't want to meet me any more.
  6. The women I meet in bars have the WORST pickup line... They're like, "Hey, what's your friends name?" Never works on me ladies.
  7. I brought my girlfriend home to meet my family. They criticized everything she did, mocked her heritage and gave her a psychiatric disorder.
    I guess I shouldn't have insisted on the royal treatment.
  8. Son, you're adopted "I Knew it! I want to meet my biological parents."
    "We are your biological parents, your adoptive parents will come for you tomorrow."
  9. Hipsters I had the joy of meeting a couple of hipsters today, and they yelled at me for making fun of them. Apparently the politically correct term is "conjoined twins".
  10. In a safety meeting at work they asked me what steps I'd take in a fire Apparently "Really big and fast ones" was the wrong answer.

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Meeting One Liners

Which meeting one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with meeting? I can suggest the ones about conference and appointment.

  1. I met an Anti-Vaxxer today... Unfortunately, I couldn't meet his son.
  2. The reason why I only date black girls is because I don't like meeting dads.
  3. What's the best part about dating a black girl? You don't have to meet her father.
  4. How does a girl greet Bill Cosby on their 2nd date? "Nice to meet you"
  5. I used to run a dating service for chickens... But i was struggling to make hens meet.
  6. I married a beautiful woman - a smart one too. Hopefully they'll never meet.
  7. I am a social vegan. I'm avoiding meets.
  8. Aliens don't want to meet us. They've looked at the reviews…
    only 1 star!
  9. President Joe Biden just had a meeting with the Cabinet. Now he's talking with the couch
  10. What company is the best at meeting deadlines? The Make a Wish Foundation
  11. A toast to wives, girlfriends, and lovers. May they never meet.
  12. What do you call a meeting of 72 virgins? A scientific conference
  13. Why aren't Koalas actual bears? They DO NOT meet Koalafications
  14. You think you are introverted? Wait until you never meet me.
  15. Autopsy club meeting Saturday! Its open Mike night.

Meeting A Girl Jokes

Here is a list of funny meeting a girl jokes and even better meeting a girl puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • A man goes to a halloween party dressed up as a chicken and he meets a girl dressed up as an egg. The answer is the chicken.
  • Playing Oregon Trail. You meet a man on the Oregon Trail. He tells you his name is Terry. You laugh and tell him, That's a girl's name! Terry shoots you. You have died of dissin' Terry.
  • When I meet a girl for the first time I shake hands with my left. I don't want to intimidate her with the competition right away
  • My biggest fear, when I first started dating, was meeting the girl's father. But I mainly dated black girls, so it was never really an issue.
  • I used to go to Weight Watchers to meet women. There were tons of girls there, just not very many.
  • [Blind Date] Guy: Hi, my name is Heath. Girl: Hello, nice to meet you. I'm Heather.
    Guy: This isn't a competition.
  • Confucious say, "Is good for girl to meet boy in park... but is better for boy to park meat in girl."
  • So there's this girl named Mary... 1. Mary meets a guy named Joseph
    2. Mary ends up pregnant
    3. ???
    4. Prophet
  • Best Way To Impress a Girl.. Boy To Gym coach: "I Wanna Impress Cute Girl, I'm Gonna Meet In 3 Days Which Machine Should I Use?" Coach: "Use The ATM Machine Outside The Gym"
  • I hate meeting dads. That's why I only date black girls.

Meeting Minutes Jokes

Here is a list of funny meeting minutes jokes and even better meeting minutes puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • I went to my first Fight Club meeting last night Unfortunately I arrived 10 minutes late so I missed the introductions but I must say I had a fantastic time I'd recommend it to everyone.
  • Father: Son you were adopted Son: I knew it I want to meet my real parents
    Father: We are your real parents your new ones are coming in 20 minutes
  • Son, you are adopted. Son: What?! I knew it! Where are my real parents, I want to meet my real parents!
    Dad: Oh, no no. We are your real parents! The new ones will arrive in 20 minutes.
  • "I have slept with 3 men before meeting you " said my blind date "Man,I was just late by 20 minutes" ..
  • Two admins meet at work "A friend of mine was able to shut down the main server just in 5 minutes!"
    "Wow. He is a hacker?"
    "No. Just an idiot."
  • How can you tell a dinosaur is an herbivore? They will tell you within three minutes of meeting them and remind you every fifth sentence.
  • How can you tell if someone is from New York City? Don't worry, they'll tell you within the first few minutes of meeting them.
  • I've finally decided to never get married. The minute I met any of my girlfriends parents they hated me immediately, and I'm always extra polite, "nice to meet you, I'm Joe King."
  • I was going to meet my biological dad today but he pulled out at the last minute.
  • You are my family? Nice to meet you! Wifi went down for five minutes, so i had to talk to my family. They seem like nice people.
Meeting joke, You are my family? Nice to meet you!

Business Meeting Jokes

Here is a list of funny business meeting jokes and even better business meeting puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Two blondes meet at a busy chicken market A: If I can guess how many chickens you have in that bag, can I have one?
    B: You can have both
    A: Three
  • LPT: If you are ever at a party or business meeting with Spanish speakers, make sure to stand up and say Mucho It means a lot to them
  • My son asked if he could meet the British Prime Minister I said "Boris Johnson? Liz Truss will probably be too busy. What do you want to meet Rishi Sunak for anyway?"
  • What do you call a gay business meeting? A mandate :3
  • A Dairy Farmer got into the healthy Oat Milk business. He *barley* made ends meet.
  • A kid is dying at a hospital and wanta to meet eminem. The nurse then says
    "He's pretty busy but you are going to meet Tupac real soon."
  • Officials from Bangkok are attending a business meeting in Jamaica this weekend… They're calling it a black-Thai event.
  • Tough business I started a business breeding chickens, but I'm struggling to make hens meet.
  • Two gentiles meet on the street.
    One says, "How's business?"
    The other says, "Great!"
  • Why did the necromancer fail to meet his quarterly sales goal? He ran his business on a skeleton crew.

Meeting Room Jokes

Here is a list of funny meeting room jokes and even better meeting room puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • I've just discovered the quickest way to call a family meeting. I turned off the WiFi router and simply waited in the room where it's located.
  • At a recent meeting at the Vatican the pope joked "I've never seen so many priests in one room" I guess he's never been to a kids party then
  • 3 young boys walk into a room full of Catholic Priests.... They tell the boys to leave because it was a private meeting
  • We All KEA! My first day on the job at an IKEA store, I was told by my boss that employees needed to go to the meeting room before every shift. I asked why. He said, "Assembly required."
  • "Ok, now lets address the elephant in the room." "Which one?" *at an Overeaters Anonymous meeting*
  • What's the difference between a k**... meeting and a court room in the south? Just the dress code.

Meeting Ice Breaker Jokes

Here is a list of funny meeting ice breaker jokes and even better meeting ice breaker puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • When I first meet someone I always want to talk about that movie with Kate Winslet and Leonardo DiCaprio... but the Titanic is a terrible ice breaker.
  • When I meet someone new I always try to start a conversation about the Titanic Yes, I know. It's a terrible ice breaker.
Meeting joke, When I meet someone new I always try to start a conversation about the Titanic

Rib-Tickling Meeting Jokes that Bring Friends Together

What funny jokes about meeting you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean track meet jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make meeting pranks.

Four CEOs of beer companies are having a meeting and they decide to get a drink.

The CEO of Budweiser orders a Bud light.
The CEO of Miller orders a Miller Lite.
The CEO of Coors orders a Coors Light.
The CEO of Guinness orders a Coke.
The three CEOS then ask him, why aren't you ordering a Guinness?
He replies: "If you guys aren't drinking beer than neither will I."

Irishman looking for a parking place

p**... was driving down the street in a sweat because he had an important meeting and couldn't find a parking place. Looking up to heaven he said, "Lord take pity on me. If you find me a parking place I will go to Mass every Sunday for the rest of me life and give up me Irish Whiskey!"
Miraculously, a parking place appeared.
p**... looked up again and said, "Never mind, I found one."

An angel appears at a faculty meeting...

... And tells the dean that in return for his unselfish and exemplary behavior, the Lord will reward him with his choice of infinite wealth, wisdom, or beauty. Without hesitating, the dean selects infinite wisdom.
"Done!" says the angel and disappears in a cloud of smoke and a bolt of lightning. Now, all heads turn toward the dean, who sits surrounded by a faint halo of light. At length one of his colleagues whispers, "Say something."
The dean sighs and says, "I should have taken the money."

A man was meeting a girlfriend somewhere...

And she said: "is that a gun in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?"
He replied: "Either way, we're having s**... tonight"

Nescafe and the Pope

Nescafe manages to arrange a meeting with the Pope at the Vatican.
After receiving the Papal blessing, the Nescafe official whispers,
"Your Eminence, we have an offer for you. Nescafe is prepared to
donate $100 million to the church if you change the Lord's Prayer from
'give us this day our daily bread' to 'give us this day our daily
The Pope responds, "That is impossible. The prayer is the word of the
Lord. It must not be changed."
"Well," said the Nescafe man, "we anticipated your reluctance. For
this reason we will increase our offer to $300 million."
"My son, it is impossible, for the prayer is the word of the Lord and
it must not be changed."
The Nescafe guy says, "Your Holiness, we at Nescafe respect your
adherence to the faith, but we do have one final offer.... We will
donate $500 million - that's half a billion dollars - to the great
Catholic Church if you would only change the Lord's Prayer from 'give
us this day our daily bread' to 'give us this day our daily coffee.'
Please consider it."
And he leaves.
The next day the Pope convenes the College of Cardinals.
"There is some good news," he announces, "and some bad news.The good
news is that the Church will come into $500 million.'"
"And the bad news, your Holiness?" asks a Cardinal.
"We're losing the Wonder-Bread account."

Best Read with a German Accent (Warning: Holocaust Joke)

One day during the war, h**... gathered his top advisers to hold a top secret meeting. He said "Ok, tomorrow ve vill kill 1,000 Jews and three hamsters". His advisors looked at one another, and one said, "But h**..., vhy ze three hamsters". h**... smiled at his advisers and replied, "You see, no one cares about ze jews!"

A factory owner is trying to come up with innovative ideas to save money and therefor save his business from going under.

The owner calls a meeting with all of his 200 employees out on the plant floor.
"Ok everyone, we are in deep trouble. I will give $2000 dollars to the first person that comes to me with a cost saving idea."
Immediately a guy in the front row shoots up his hand.
Owner says "Yes, Barry. That was fast, what's your cost saving plan?"
Barry says "make it $1000".

When the Saxons landed in England...

...they decided to split up into five groups to cover as much ground as possible.
One group headed West and Wessex was born.
A particularly lazy bunch decided to stay exactly at the meeting point and incorporate Middlesex.
Another went South to form Sussex, which is still exactly where they made it, while yet another formed Essex to the East.
Oh, nearly forgot about the very conservative pack who went North. Nobody heard from them again

A business man goes to Japan for a business meeting...

This man gets there late at night. He was feeling a little lonely, so he got a Japanese h**.... He has his way with the h**... and feels like he did a pretty good job, considering she was screaming out one word the entire time in Japanese. The next day, this man went golfing with the Japanese business men he was going to meet with. During their golf outing, he gets a hole in one! The Japanese men start screaming and celebrating in Japanese words. The man got very excited too and yelled out the only Japanese word he could think of, and that was the one he learned from his h**.... He yelled out this word, and all the Japanese business men look at him strangely. One of them comes up to the business man and asks "what you mean wrong hole?"

So p**... was driving down the street

And he was in a sweat. He was late for an important business meeting and he couldn't find a place to park. In desperation he looked up to god and prayed, "if you find me a parking space, I will go to mass every Sunday from now on and give up drinking whiskey." Miraculously a spot appeared. p**... looked up again and said, "nevermind, I found on."

Two women meet in heaven...

There's these two women meeting for the first time in heaven who's names are Carol and Lydia. Carol leans over and asks Lydia what the cause of her death was. Lydia says, "Well I froze to death. How did you die?" To which Carol replies "I died of a massive heart attack." Very concerned, Lydia asks "What caused the heart attack?" Carol starts then explaining on how she thought her husband was cheating on her. And how she had come home early to catch him in the act but, to her surprise, only found her husband sitting in the den reading a book. But convinced there was another women in the house, she frantically started destroying the house looking for the other women until she was so exhausted that her heart just stopped working. Amazed at the story, Lydia looks at Carol and says, "If you would have looked in the freezer, we'd both still be alive."

A lawyer is meeting the devil to make a deal

... and says, "Alright, I want to win my next 10 cases in a row, for settlements of no less than $1 million!"
The Devil replies, "Ok mister lawyer, but in return, I demand the souls of your wife and child for 1000 years!"
The lawyer scratches his head and says, "I don't get it, where's the catch?"
From my dad.

There was a Jewish businessman

There was a Jewish businessman who was almost late at an important business meeting where punctuality was highly priced. But there were no empty parking spots around and the time was running. He looked to the sky and prayed: "Dear God, give me a parking spot now and I will donate 100 thousand to the synagogue!" Suddenly, a car left exactly in front of him. Relieved, the guy looked again at the sky and said: "It's okay, forget it, I got one."

So a man is at an airport.

He approaches the Customs officer, passport in hand.
The customs officer looks it over and says, "So is this trip business or pleasure?"
The man sighs. "Neither. Im meeting my wife."

The owners of a micro-brewery are sitting around a table having their monthly board meeting.

The accountant stands up and says "So, let's see, this month, we lost ... hmm... hmm... Hey! Does anybody have a black pen?"
The CEO says "I can go buy one."
The accountant replies "Yeah, but then we won't need it anymore."

Why was the meeting for impotent men cancelled?

They knew no one would come.

Barack Obama and Vladimir Putin were in a meeting

Obama said, "Mr. Putin, the reason that I love my country is that a man can walk right into The White House and say, 'I don't like the way that Barack Obama is running The United States of America.'"
Putin responded, "That's true in Russia, too. Anyone can walk into the Kremlin and say, 'I don't like the way that Barack Obama is running the United States of America.'"

I called Masturbators Anonymous to let them know I wouldn't be at the meeting...

...because I'm just not feeling myself today.

My boss told me to "dress for the job you want, not the job you have."

Now I'm in a disciplinary meeting dressed as Batman.

I had to cancel my dsylexics meeting tonight

I never go out on Friday the 13th

Two engineers are meeting for lunch

Two engineers are meeting for lunch. The second arrives on a bicycle that the first doesn't recognize.
"Where did you get the bike? " the first asks.
The second explained, "It was the weirdest thing. I was walking over here when a beautiful woman rode up on the bike, hopped off, tore off all her clothes and said 'take what you want!' So I took the bike."
"Good call," mused the first, "the clothes probably wouldn't have fit."

Praying for a parking space..

A laywoman was driving down the street in a sweat because she had an important meeting and couldn't find a parking space. Looking up toward heaven, she said, Lord, take pity on me. If you find me a parking place I'll go to Mass every Sunday for the rest of my life and give up drinking wine.
Miraculously, a parking space opened up right in front of her destination.
The woman looked up to heaven and said, Never mind, Lord; I found one on my own.

I've really got into dating black chicks recently.

Not because they take my fancy but I'm really bad at meeting the dad.

Husband talks to a rabbi.

A husband goes to talk to a rabbi about how his wife is trying to make him consume poison. The rabbi shows concern and tells the husband, "don't worry I'll talk to her". The next day the husband and the rabbi meet together, and the rabbi informs the husband of the meeting with his wife. "I saw your wife - I talked to her for 3 hours! Take the poison!"

You can burn up to 150 calories through one vigorous session of m**......

Still got me kicked out of my weight watchers meeting though.

I've started a time travellers club

The first meeting will be yesterday at 5pm

Do you know why I only date black girls?

Because I hate the awkwardness of meeting a girlfriend's dad

This chick came up to me and claimed she recognized me from a vegan meeting

but I'd never met herbivore

Here's one from Russia

A guy is late for an important meeting but can't find a place to park.
In desperation, he begins to pray.
"Please Lord, if you help me find a parking stall right now, I promise to go to church every Sunday and never drink v**... again!"
A moment later, he sees a beautiful empty spot right next to the entrance.
"Never mind. Found one!"

A 96 year old man goes to an addictions therapy meeting...

He listens as each person explains their addiction and then its his turn.
"Hello, my name is Bob and I have a s**... addiction," he says. "I have s**... at least once a day, sometimes two or three times."
"Hello Bob," says the therapist. "Glad you are here. Never too old to get help."
"Help?" says Bob, "I ain't here to get help. I just came to brag!"

fight club

I went to my first fight club meeting last night, i showed up late so i missed the first few rules but it was awesome i love fight club cant wait for the next meeting

Pedro was driving down a street when...

Pedro was driving down the Panjim street in a swift because he had an important meeting and couldn't find a parking place.
Looking up to heaven he said, "Lord take pity on me. If you find me a parking place I will go to Mass every Sunday for the rest of my life and give up my whiskey. I will give up gambling and womanising too!!"
Miraculously, a parking place appeared.
Pedro looked up again and said," Never mind, I found one ! Sorry I bothered you !!"

I only date black chicks

cause I hate meeting fathers..

A girl said she has seen me in a vegetarian meeting...

I told her I have never met herbivore

I was nervous about meeting new people on a cruise...

... until I realised, we are all in the same boat.

My boss phoned me and he wasn't happy.

"You're late!" he yelled. "We've got an important meeting in ten minutes!"
I said, "I'm on my way to my car as we speak."
He said, "Do you think you'll make it?"
I said, "Probably, it's only a few feet away."

There's a giant hole in town and everybody is falling in it and going to the hospital

The mayor holds a meeting and asks everyone to propose a solution.
Someone stand up and says: "We should put a cop next to the hole and whenever someone falls he'll call an ambulance."
Another person offers to put an ambulance next to the hole.
Someone else offers to build a hospital next to the hole.
At this point everybody starts arguing so the mayor shuts everybody up and says: "You are all s**.... We should close up the hole and dig another one next to the hospital."

A Jew, a Catholic and a m**... were having drinks at the bar following an interfaith meeting...

The Jew, bragging on his virility, said, "I have four sons. One more and I'll have a basketball team."
The Catholic, pooh-poohed this accomplishment, stating, "That's nothing, boy. I have 10 sons, one more and I'll have a football team."
To which the m**... replied, "You fellas ain't got a clue. I have 17 wives. One more and I'll have a golf course."

2 Trump Supporters go to heaven

St. Peter greets them at the Pearly gates and asks if there is anything in the universe they'd like to know before meeting God. The fist guy asks, "What was really in Hillary's emails?"
"Nothing incriminating really", replies St. Peter.
The other guy turns and whispers, "Wow, this goes higher than we thought."

Donald Trump is said to have lack of foreign policy experience to be president, but in fairness, he has spent time meeting with foreign leaders around the world.

Ms. Sweden, Ms. Argentina...

My father complained "I've been using a dating app, but I'm only meeting Middle Eastern men."

Dad, you're using Uber.

Mexico's president says he will not go to the U.S. for a meeting with Trump

The wall's not even finished and it kept a Mexican out!

I am meeting with a private detective in one hour...

Can someone please tell me where Cognito is?

A group of satanists have a meeting when one sneezes.

Then it got really awkward when someone said "God bless you."

At a Plastic-Surgery-Addicts-Anonymous meeting

Ah, I see we have a few new faces here today.

So there I was hard at work

Then all of a sudden my boss tells me to step out of the meeting because I was making my colleagues uncomfortable

A guy was meeting his friend in the bar

As he walked in, he noticed two pretty girls looking at him. He heard one girl say to the other, "Nine." Feeling pleased with himself, he swaggered over to his buddy at the bar and told him that the girl in the corner had just rated him a nine out of ten. "Sorry to spoil your evening," said his friend, "but when I walked in they were speaking German"

I didn't know what to wear to my first Masturbaters Anonymous meeting the other day...

So I just came in my pants

Wisdom, Beauty, or Money

At a meeting of the college faculty, an angel suddenly appears and tells the head of the Physics department, I will grant you whichever of three blessings you choose: Wisdom, Beauty—or ten million dollars.
Immediately, the professor chooses Wisdom.
There is a ash of lightning, and the professor appears transformed, but he just sits there, staring down at the table. One of his colleagues whispers, Say something.
The professor says, I should have taken the money.

A man goes on a business trip to Japan. The night before his big meeting, he hires a p**....

He really seems to be having a good time, because as they do their thing, she keeps enthusiastically saying things in Japanese over and over again.
The next day, he invites the Japanese businessmen out for a game of golf after their meeting. After a nice hole-in-one, he decides to try out a phrase his p**... used the other night to express his excitement. One of the businessmen turns to him and says, "What do you mean, 'wrong hole'?"

An American, Frenchman, Israeli, Spaniard, and a German are on a video call. Their boss logs in and starts the meeting by askng "How's my connection, can everybody see me alright?" They answer:

"yes", "oui", "ken", "si", "ja"

Teacher at parents meeting :

- Your boy was caught smoking m**... !!!
The mother :
- Oh my God. I wonder where he found it from ??
- He said he got it from his best friend.
The father, wiping a happy tear :
- My boy really said that ... ?

This happened at a meeting with my boss:

Boss: How good are you at PowerPoint?
Me: I Excel at it!
Boss: Was that a Microsoft Office pun?
Me: Word.

I told my buddy we should go to a gambling anonymous meeting. He said 'Why? We don't have gambling problems!'

I replied, 'You wanna bet?'

My dad just called a family meeting.

Me, mum, my two brothers, my sister and grandma hurried into the living room and gathered round an IKEA box laying on the floor.
"Dad, it's some flat pack furniture, what do you need the whole family for?" I asked.
"Well, it must be these strange Swedish customs", he replies, "It says assembly required".

I always keep a loaded gun on my nightstand in the event of an intruder

So I can shoot myself to avoid meeting new people

On meeting Donald Trump, Kim Jon Un says I will destroy America...

Trump replies, No way, that's my job. I won't have another asian stealing an American job.

Everyone has a certain joke they always tell when meeting new people

Personally, I enjoy talking about my life

Kim Jong Un and Vladimir Putin were having a meeting in a 20-story building.

During a break the two leaders made a bet about the loyalty of their guards.
First, Putin called his guard Ivan into the room, opened the window and said, "Ivan, jump down."
Ivan replied in tears, "Mr. President, how could you do this to me? I have a wife and a son."
Putin explained that he was only joking, and let Ivan out.
Then Kim Jong-Un called his guard Lee, and told him to jump. Lee started running toward the window.
Putin grabbed him and said, "Are you crazy? You will die if you jump!"
Struggling, Lee replied, "Let me go! I have a wife and a son!"

I would never...

On the way to meeting her parents...
Girlfriend: 'Please don't let my dad know that we have s**.... He is scared that I might get pregnant'
At the door...
Girlfriend's Dad : So, are you coming inside?
Me: [pretty much flustered] No sir, I would never...

A CEO and his board of directors gather for a meeting

CEO: We need to stop testing our products on animals.
BOD: Why? Shampoo companies do it all the time.
CEO: Yeah but we make hammers

A scientist runs into an AA meeting...

...and exclaims "we did it! We found a medical cure for alcoholism! All you have to do is take this one pill daily and you are cured."
Slowly a hand raises in the back and a man says "what happens if you take two?"

They say the camera adds ten pounds

But after meeting a few girls online I'm convinced it takes away at least thirty

There is no ghost

While visiting a spooky historic house, a lady confided in the guide that she was terrified of ghosts and dreaded meeting one on the tour.
To reassure her, the guide told her that in all the years he had worked at the house, he had never seen a single ghost.
And how long have you worked here? asked the woman.
Three hundred years.

Why was the PTA meeting h**... difficult to solve?

Because it wasn't apparent who did it.

I always keep a gun on my night stand in case of an intruder

so I can shoot myself instead of meeting new people

Why is it called a zoom meeting

When it should be a co-vid

p**... was driving down the street in a sweat because he had an important meeting and couldn't find a parking place.

Looking up to heaven he said, 'Lord take pity on me. If you find me a parking place I will go to Mass every Sunday for the rest of me life and give up me Irish Whiskey!'
Miraculously, a parking place appeared.
p**... looked up again and said, 'Never mind, I found one.'

My friend and I had arranged a meeting to insult each other but he didn't show up

It was a diss appointment

What do you call a meeting of the Knights of the Round Table?

A *circonference*.

Why did the wizards show up to battle empty handed?

Their weapons were at a staff meeting.
Yes, yes. Groan, downvote, and move on. It popped into my head and I shouldn't have to suffer alone.

We had a mandatory meeting at work today

Tory and Amanda weren't even there!!!!

Why are narwhals good at meeting new friends?

They are very good at breaking the ice.

I told a joke over my zoom meeting

It wasn't even remotely funny

I need everyone to wish me luck. I have a meeting at the bank later and if all goes well, I will be out of debt.

I'm so excited I can barely put on my ski mask.

Meeting joke, I need everyone to wish me luck. I have a meeting at the bank later and if all goes well, I will be

jokes about meeting