Meeting A Girl Jokes

125 meeting a girl jokes and hilarious meeting a girl puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about meeting a girl that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Short Meeting A Girl Jokes
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Funniest Meeting A Girl Short Jokes

Short meeting a girl jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The meeting a girl humour may include short meeting the parents jokes also.

A man goes to a halloween party dressed up as a chicken and he meets a girl dressed up as an egg. The answer is the chicken.
Playing Oregon Trail. You meet a man on the Oregon Trail. He tells you his name is Terry. You laugh and tell him, That's a girl's name! Terry shoots you. You have died of dissin' Terry.
When I meet a girl for the first time I shake hands with my left. I don't want to intimidate her with the competition right away
My biggest fear, when I first started dating, was meeting the girl's father. But I mainly dated black girls, so it was never really an issue.
I used to go to Weight Watchers to meet women. There were tons of girls there, just not very many.
[Blind Date] Guy: Hi, my name is Heath. Girl: Hello, nice to meet you. I'm Heather.
Guy: This isn't a competition.
Confucious say, "Is good for girl to meet boy in park... but is better for boy to park meat in girl."
So there's this girl named Mary... 1. Mary meets a guy named Joseph
2. Mary ends up pregnant
3. ???
4. Prophet
Best Way To Impress a Girl.. Boy To Gym coach: "I Wanna Impress Cute Girl, I'm Gonna Meet In 3 Days Which Machine Should I Use?" Coach: "Use The ATM Machine Outside The Gym"
A girl said she has seen me in a vegetarian meeting... I told her I have never met herbivore

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Meeting A Girl One Liners

Which meeting a girl one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with meeting a girl? I can suggest the ones about meeting opener and meeting.

The reason why I only date black girls is because I don't like meeting dads.
What's the best part about dating a black girl? You don't have to meet her father.
How does a girl greet Bill Cosby on their 2nd date? "Nice to meet you"
I hate meeting dads. That's why I only date black girls.
If you ever meet a girl named stone... Don't take her for granite
What Do Sound Waves Say To Girls They Meet Online? Send nodes.
Whats the best part about dating a black girl? You rarely have to meet their dad.
Confucius said, it's better... to park meat in girl than meet girl in park
I only date black girls Cause I hate meeting fathers.
A redditor meets a girl... Ba-dum-tss!
It's the same old story; boy meets girl in park... ... boy parks meat in girl
If you meet a girl that likes the Chinese national banner, that's a big red flag
When your girl wants to meet your dad But so do you
I was supposed to meet up with a girl for a date last night... But she ghosted me :(
Its nice to meet girls in the park But its better to park meat in girls

Meeting A Girl Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.

What funny jokes about meeting a girl you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean meeting opening jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make meeting a girl pranks.

It's ok for boy to meet girl in park,

but it's better for boy to park meet in girl
*works better told out loud...*

First Impressions

A young teenage couple have been dating for a little while, so the girl says to the boy that she wants him to meet her parents. He is a little skeptical at this, but she tells him that if he can make a good impression with them that she will reward him with s**....
Extremely excited at the prospect of losing his virginity, the boy rushes to the local pharmacy to get some protection. However, he is a little embarrassed and unsure of himself. The pharmacist at the counter notices this and walks over to see if he can help. "First time?" the pharmacist guesses. The boy nods sheepishly. So the pharmacist gives him the basics on picking condoms. The boy thanks him, buys some, and leaves.
Finally, the big night arrives and the boy arrives at the girl's house. As the couple and the girl's parents sit down for dinner, they all bow their heads to say grace over the meal. Afterwards, they all look up to start eating, except for the boy, who still has his head bowed in prayer. Respectfully, the girl and her parents sit quietly as he continues praying to himself. After about 5 minutes pass, the girl leans over and whispers to him, "I never knew you were so religious!" He looks up at her and whispers back, "I never knew your dad was a pharmacist!"

So Thor hears about the other gods coming down to Earth for a good time ...

and decides to try it out for himself.
Meets a girl in bar and they get hot and heavy all night. At the end, he decides to tell her how he's honoured her: "I am Thor!"
And the girl says: "You're thor? I'm tho thor I can't pith."

Lipstick Girls

A principal of a small middle school had a problem with a few of the older girls starting to use lipstick. When applying it in the bathroom they would then press their lips to the mirror and leave lip prints.
Before it got out of hand he thought of a way to stop it. He gathered all the girls together that wore lipstick and told them he wanted to meet with them in the ladies room at 2pm. They gathered at 2pm and found the principal and the school custodian waiting for them.
The principal explained that it was becoming a problem for the custodian to clean the mirror every night. He said he felt the ladies did not fully understand just how much of a problem it was and he wanted them to witness just how hard it was to clean.
The custodian then demonstrated. He took a long brush on a handle out of a box. He then dipped the brush in the nearest toilet, moved to the mirror and proceeded to remove the lipstick.
That was the last day the girls pressed their lips on the mirror.

Foreign s**...

A man decides he wants to have a one night stand with a foreign girl. So he meets a girl they go to the bedroom. After the first round, the man says to her, You finish? The girl shakes her head, no. So they do it again. Now the man is really tired. So he says, You finish? Again, she shakes her head. So they do it again. By now, the man is exhausted. So he says to the girl, You finish? The girl answers, No, I Norwegian .

Man Periods

I'd hate to meet the girl of my dreams right now, because I, am on my man-period! No, let me explain: a woman would HATE to meet a s**... guy while on her period, because she knows it would mess up the part of her act where she pretends NOT to be berserk.
A man-period, is that special 2 to 3 days a month, when your unstoppable Juggernaut farts register on a seismograph. My last f**... sounded like a tornado went through a bassoon factory. I passed so much gas – Exxon called me up with an extraction lease, and the Department of Defense charted up a contingency plan.

John Snow.

John Snow was at a bar outside the great wall drinking. A beautiful girl comes inside and her eyes meet his. She likes him, so she goes and introduce herself.
-Hello, handsome. My name is Jenny Spring. What's yours?
John laughs and continues with his drink.
-Why is this funny?
John responds,
-Nothing. I just imagine how rare it would be to have 7 inches of Snow in spring...

Black guy and a white girl hook up.

A black guy and a white girl meet at a bar and go back to her house. They start fooling around and he begins taking his pants off. She stops him and says "is it true what they say about black guys"? He says " yes. Yes it is" then stabs her and takes her purse.

Why should you try to date girls you meet at the gym?

Because you already know she'll work out.

I think I may have met my new bestest friend!

While driving home, I eventually reached a red light. When I turned around, a cute foreign looking girl tried to communicate with me by writing me a note, and I think we really clicked. I think we are destined to meet again one day. By the way, does anybody know what "Help" means in foreign?

A depressed frog goes to visit a fortune teller

Hoping for good news he goes to meet with a fortune teller.
The fortune teller closes her eyes, makes some strange sounds, and finally says, "You will meet a beautiful young girl that will want to know everything about you"
The frog gets excited and says, "Wow! When will I meet her? At a party?"
"No," replied the fortune teller, "in her biology class."

FROG'S DREAM GIRL

A frog goes to a fortune teller and asks if he is going meet a young girl.
The psychic tells him, "Yes, you are."
The frog replies, "Where? In a bar or at a party?"
The psychic says, "In biology class."

So, I've been talking to a mixed girl...

she's half black and half white. But the great thing is that her mom is the white one, so I don't even have to worry about meeting her father.

Whenever I feel depressed in life.. I open my E-Mail spam inbox

I find:
* 10 banks are giving me easy loans.
* I have won GBP 10000000 and USD 500000 for unknown reasons.
* 10 Job companies have best jobs for me.
* 5 matrimonial sites have most suited matches for me.
* Dr. Batra has claimed that he will cure my hair fall.
* 3 universities are giving me degrees in random subjects.
* And Approx 40-50 mails from different girls who are feeling lonely and want to meet me.

The wizard of oz, synopsis.

Transported to a surreal landscape, a young girl kills the first person she meets and then teams up with three strangers to kill again.

If the Cholera Doesn't Get Ya...

Your on the Oregon Trail and you meet a man named Terry.
You laugh and say "Terry is a girls name!"
He shoots you.
You have died of dissin Terry.

Now Its the Father Problem

Fred is 32 years old and he is still single.
One day a friend asked, "Why aren't you married? Can't you find a woman who will be a good wife?"
Fred replied, "Actually, I've found many women I wanted to marry, but when I bring them home to meet my parents, my mother doesn't like them."
His friend thinks for a moment and says, "I've got the perfect solution, just find a girl who's just like your mother."
A few months later they meet again and his friend says, "Did you find the perfect girl? Did your mother like her?"
With a frown on his face, Fred answers, "Yes, I found the perfect girl. She was just like my mother. You were right, my mother liked her very much."
The friend said, "Then what's the problem?"
Fred replied, "My father doesn't like her."

r**... boy meets his dream girl!

A young boy comes home to his father one day after school.
"Dad, I met the most INCREDIBLE girl in the world today. She's smart, she's beautiful, AND she's funny."
Dad pats his son on the back and walks him into the kitchen, "That's great, son. I'm proud of you for finding someone you like so much."
"That's not the best part, Dad. She's a v**...."
At this point the father slams his hand down on the counter, "I forbid this relationship, son. I never want you to see this girl again. And if I find out you do, I'm going to give you the biggest whooping you ever had."
Tears stream down the son's face, "But, Dad, WHY? She's amazing and she likes me!"
"Well, son. If she ain't good enough for her own family, she ain't good enough for ours."

Friendship Merit!!!!

=>Boy: Hi
=>Girl: What?
=>Boy: How are you?
=>Girl: Do I know you?
=>Boy: I'm rich
=>Girl: Hi, I am Nani, I'm 20, nice to meet you!
=>Boy: no no, Rich is my name
=>Girl: sorry I don't talk to boys

Blonde Swimmer

In a swim-meet, after the blonde came in last place competing in the breast-s**..., she complained to the judges that all the other girls were using their arms.

Do you know why I only date black girls?

Because I hate the awkwardness of meeting a girlfriend's dad

What do you call a bunch of furries, an all girls volleyball meet, and a video game tournament?

Genesis 3.

A man sees an attractive girl sitting alone

At a restaurant, a man sees an attractive girl sitting alone at the next table.
Suddenly, she sneezes, and a glass eye comes flying out of her eye socket. It hurls by the man, and he snatches it from the air and hands it back to her.
"This is so embarrassing," the girl says, and she pops her eye back in place.
"I'm sorry to have disturbed you. Let me buy a drink to make it up to you. May I join you?"
He agrees.
The girls is good at keeping conversation, stunningly pretty, and the man finds they have a lot in common.
He asks her phone number and then he compliments her:
"You are the most charming girl I've ever encountered. Are you this nice to every guy you meet?"
"No", she replies. "You just happened to catch my eye."

Confucius said

Girl meets boy in park.
Boy parks meat in girl.
FYI: Saw this online in a picture of a graffiti

Who's your daddy?

A father's daughter brought home her prospective fiancee
It was the first time he'd met him and he took the opportunity to quiz him a bit
"So, what do you do for a living?" he asked
"I have no job" he replied
"Really? Well how do you expect to provide for my daughter?"
"God will provide, I'm sure" was the answer from the intended
"And how exactly will he do that then?"
"God is merciful and will ensure we do not want" he said with all sincerity
"And how about if you have kids? Who looks after you then?"
"God will ensure he provides bounty for the whole family"
"OK, so you say, but exactly how will God provide this?"
"I don't know yet. God will move in his own mysterious ways"
At this point, the father gives up and leaves the house fuming, heading straight for the bar. there he meets his friend Dave who asks,
"What's up friend? You seem troubled"
"Well, I've just met my girl's new fiancé"
"Oh man, bad news?"
"Well, on the plus side, he does at least seem to think I'm God..."

Whenever I meet a pretty girl, the first thing I look for is intelligence

because if she doesn't have that, then she's mine.

A black man meets a white girl in a club.

They go back to the girls house and start making out. The girl says seductively "show me that its true what they say about Black Guys". The man then precedes to stab the girl take her purse and run off faster then the wind.

want a smart girl, a nice girl, a romantic girl.

But most importantly, I want these women to never meet.

Holy moly, Swear to god, Just met a girl called Mercedes Bacon. I had to come share this here.

How often do you meet your three favorite things in one....
P.S. the name is a true story, a girl that I just met.

Two guys meet up at a high school reunion

They start talking about people from their past.
"Hey, remember that flat chested girl Sam?"
"Oh yea, how she doing?"
"I just saw her like 15 minutes ago and now she's like this" - He holds his hands in front of his chest, fingers curled in.
"Oh, she got breast e**...?"
"No, she's got severe arthritis"

I contacted and arranged for a meet with an undercover FBI agent to show my skills in deduction and reasoning..

Unfortunately,a 14 yr old girl showed up at the coffee shop

Girl meets boy

Girl: What do you do for a living?
Man: I work with animals.
Girl: Aw, thats so cute!
... Man, 30yrs, butcher.

As an 11 year old girl, I find online dating really frustrating

Whenever I meet up with someone, he gets arrested.

I've never dated a South African girl who I've disliked.

Every time I meet one, we click almost immediately.

A teen walks into a girl scout meeting.

They're learning how to tie different types of knots.
The girl says "Can I join you?"
They reply "Can you knot?"

Don't you hate it when you meet a hot girl who says she's "bi"...

...then the next morning you realize she meant "polar".

One day you're going to meet the girl of your dreams

And she won't want your money
She won't want your house, or your car
She won't want you either ;)

A man asks his boss for the day off...

"I must take today off sir, I am going to be a father"
The boss says sure and congratulates him
The next day the man comes back to work and meets his boss
"So do you have a baby boy or girl now?" The boss asks
The man says, "I don't know, ask me again in 9 months"

A British girl meets a guy...

And they hit it off immediately. The girl goes to her dad the next day to tell him about it.
"Oh, dad, he's just the sweetest! He loves dancing and photography, he's great with kids, and he volunteers at an animal shelter. He's funny, handsome, a great listener, oh! and he's a goalie for a local football team. Oh dad, what do you think?"
Her dad looked at her with an odd expression and said "Oh honey...
... *he's a keeper*"

Why do ghosts have trouble meeting girls at bars?

Because they're only there for the boos.

A guy meets his buddy at the bar.

He says, "I don't want to brag, but when I walked in, those two girls by the door looked at me, then both said to each other, 'nine' ". His buddy said, "Really? When I walked in, they were speaking German!"

You meet a man on the Oregon trail...

You meet a man on the Oregon trail that tells you his name is Terry. You laugh and tell him that Terry is a girls' name. Without hesitation Terry pulls out a gun and shoots you dead. You have died of dissin Terry.

Why are there no female s... b...?

Good luck convincing a girl by telling her if she do it, she will meet 70 virgins in heaven.

If Aladdin taught me anything about s**..., it would be...

...to always rub one out before you go meet the girl.

Hey girl, do you know how much a polar bear weighs?

Just enough to be awkward when meeting a girl, hi my names steve.

A teenage girl brought her new boyfriend home to meet her parents.

They were appalled by his leather jacket, motorcycle boots, tattoos, and pierced nose. Later, the parents pulled their daughter aside and confessed their concern. "Dear," the mother said, "he doesn't seem very nice."
"Oh please, Mom," the daughter replied. "If he wasn't nice, why would he be doing 200 hours of community service?"

A man meets a girl in a bar

The man says to the girl "every time you smile it makes me want to take you home"
The girl replies "Your words are beautiful, are you a poet?"
The man replies "No I am a dentist"

A guy was meeting his friend in the bar

As he walked in, he noticed two pretty girls looking at him. He heard one girl say to the other, "Nine." Feeling pleased with himself, he swaggered over to his buddy at the bar and told him that the girl in the corner had just rated him a nine out of ten. "Sorry to spoil your evening," said his friend, "but when I walked in they were speaking German"

Dating these days

Boy: Hi
Girl: What?
Boy: How are you?
Girl: Do I know you?
Boy: I'm Rich..
Girl: Oh! Hi. My name is Mary but you can call me "Baby" I'm 19 & I am very submissive. I love short men, especially like you & I'm glad to meet you. So, when are we going out?
Boy: No, no, no "Rich" is my name
Girl: Sorry I don't talk to strangers

I've been having trouble meeting girls, so I asked my dad for some advice. He said that if I wanted to break the ice, the next time I go out, I should use this pickup line...

"Ford F-150, Chevy Silverado, Dodge Ram, Toyota Tundra, Nissan Titan, GMC Sierra, Honda Ridgeline..."

In desperation I've been trying to meet girls through my Ouija Board

But they keep ghosting me

A frog

A frog telephones the Psychic Hotline. His personal psychic advisor tells him, "You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you." The frog is thrilled, "This is great! Will I meet her at a party?" "No," says his advisor, "In her biology class."

You can't trust anyone you meet in online dating.

Just last week I went on a date with a girl and stole $300 from her.

Like my grandpa said:

It's good to meet girls in a park but it's better to park your meat in a girl.

A guy and a girl meet for the first time...

Girl: Hi! My name is History.

Guy: What?

Girl: I'd rather not repeat myself.

They say the camera adds ten pounds

But after meeting a few girls online I'm convinced it takes away at least thirty

A man meets a foreign girl and says:"Hey girl, you're like Albert Einstein's last words"

Lost in translation

I met a girl online that was in a wheel chair.

We agreed to meet up for drinks but she stood me up.
I really wish this wasn't a true story.

How does NASA check if there is life on mars?

They go there and see if local girls in your area dying to meet you ad pops up.

I'm really good at dating in the Tinder age

Every girl I meet swipes left at me...usually across the face with an open hand.

Why did the p**... call a meeting of his girls when he felt unsure about himself?

He had to gather his thots.