Medium Jokes

Funniest Medium Short Jokes

Short medium jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The medium humour may include short middle jokes also.

1. Most of the posts here are medium. They aren't rare and they are definitely not well done.
2. Waiter: And how would you like your steak prepared? Me: Guess
   Waiter: Medium rare?
   Me: Well done
   Waiter: Uhhh..
3. Psychic buys clothing Employee: How about this one?
   Psychic: That shirt is too small
   Employee: You didn't even try it on
   Psychic: I'm a medium
4. I cooked a medium-rare steak for my friend, and he said, I like it Well Done. I said, Thanks buddy. That means a lot.
5. A psychic midget has escaped from prison.. Police are looking for a small medium at large.
6. Steak related jokes are not very common... But when it's good, it's a rare medium well done.
7. Found a shirt that says, I see dead people But I can't wear it because it only fits mediums
8. All of the fortune teller I've met are either really depressing or overly enhusiastic. Why can't I find a happy medium?
9. Everytime I eat fast food I can talk to dead people... Maybe I should quit ordering the medium fries.
10. Every Psychic I ever visited was either a bit depressed or way too excitable.. It's really hard to find the happy Medium..

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Medium One Liners

Which medium one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with medium? I can suggest the ones about median and semi.

1. How rare is it for a cow to be struck by lightning? Medium rare.
2. What size clothes do fortune tellers wear? Medium.
3. What do you call a 4 foot psychic that got away with robbery? A small medium at large
4. Why couldn't the psychic fit in the small shirt? Because he was a medium
5. Did you hear about the alcoholic medium? He made all the spirits disappear.
6. A midget psychic broke out of prison. Now there's a small medium at large.
7. What do you call a psychic cow? Medium Rare.
8. What do you call a fat medium? Four-chin teller
9. Why are there no psychics who enjoy life Happy mediums don't exist
10. Condoms are available in three sizes: Small, medium, and liar.
11. There aren't many books on how to cook steak It's a rare medium done well.
12. Why did the psychic medium hang himself? To get to the other side.
13. A steak pun is a rare medium well done
14. How do emo's like their meat cooked medium rawr
15. Why are clairvoyants called mediums? Because they're not rare or well done.

Medium Rare Jokes

Here is a list of funny medium rare jokes and even better medium rare puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• A cannibal brings a fortune teller home to his wife. He says, "Remember not to overcook this one. I like a medium rare."
• Did you hear about that psychic who performed self-immolation in public today? It's rare to see a medium well done.
• The waitress brought me the wrong order at Texas Road House, and I told her it was a Miss Steak. She shook her head, sighed, and told me, "Steak jokes are a rare medium well done."
• Why is television called a medium? Because it isn't rare and is never quite well done
• A student wants to know how he did on a test Student: I know my curved score was a 90, but how was my raw score?
  Teacher: Medium rare
  Student: What does that mean?
  Teacher: Not well done.
• How rare is it for someone to die by falling into a campfire? Probably about medium rare.
• I made a good video about steak in a sea of bad videos about steak... I guess you could say it's a rare example of a medium well done.
• A coworker of mine dated a psychic He told me she was very unique and well cultured.
  I asked if she was a rare medium, well-done?
• "Two steaks please", I asked the writer. "Rare for me, medium rare for my friend." He brought us a lovely bit of panda and a nice chunk of giraffe.
• What size does Lady Gaga wear? Medium rare.

Medium Sized Jokes

Here is a list of funny medium sized jokes and even better medium sized puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• My grandfather could communicate with ghosts, who would often ask him about his clothes sizing. He was a medium.
• I'm gonna start a company that makes medium sized pickles Not to brag or anything but it's kind of a big dill.
• So, this fortune teller came in to buy a sweatshirt, but we were out of her size... Let me guess. She's a medium?
• Shirts So like, you know how there's Extra Large and Extra Small sized clothing? Why can't I get something Extra Medium, like its the most generic sized shirt possible.
• Waves passed through an average-sized psychic. He's a medium medium-medium.
• I was trying to recall what size shirt to get my friend the psychic, then I remembered…..medium, of course.
• What size clothing does a psychic wear? Medium
• What size shirt do ghosts wear? Spiritual Medium
• What do you call somebody who is content being average sized? A happy medium.
• Did you hear about the fortune teller who ordered shoes one size too large? Turns out he was a medium.

Medium Rare Steak Jokes

Here is a list of funny medium rare steak jokes and even better medium rare steak puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• My friend has become a master of making art out of steak. It is a rare medium, but well done.
• My local newspaper ran a story on the decrease of cow psychics. It was called "Steak Medium Rare"
• Why are Good steaks hard to find? Because it's a rare medium well done.
• Why dont most people order medium steaks? Because they're rarely well done
• About tasty steaks. You knowing the art of making a steak is a rare medium well done.
• My date left just because I wanted my steak medium rare. Oh well, I wouldn't have had it any other way.
• So a few friends end I walk into a restaurant. I order a steak. When the waiter asks if I would like it well done, medium rare, or rare; I reply
  "I like my steaks legendary"

Medium Size Jokes

Here is a list of funny medium size jokes and even better medium size puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• Today i took an L at the store I guess a Medium size would fit me better
• Chicken My brother and I walk into a butcher shop and ask for a medium size chicken.
  "Something like this?", the butcher asks.
  "Yes", my brother replies, "that's a chicken!"
• What do you call a medium sized thermometer? A fair in height thermometer
• I met Mia Khalifa out in the street, so I told her that I'm not a huge fan, just a medium-sized one.

Hilarious Fun Medium Jokes That Will Have You Rolling with Laughter

What funny jokes about medium you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean large jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make medium pranks.