Following is our collection of Medium jokes which are very funny. There are some medium seance jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these medium dwarf puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Did you hear about the mind reading midget that escaped from prison? The papers said small medium at large.
A small medium at large.
and he goes to the female cashier and asks how he can know what size condom he should wear. She tells him to step behind the counter, she unzips his pants, gives him a few tugs and says "Medium". He buys his condoms and tells his buddy "Hey, there's this girl at the CVS who can guess your condom size just by looking!". His buddy, being a 'skeptic' goes and checks it out. She follows the same routine and says "large". He calls his friend when he gets home and is ecstatic. His 14 year old brother overheard the conversation and decided to 'try it out' for himself. So he goes to the CVS and asks the cashier what size condom he is, she asks him behind the counter, gives him a few tugs and says "Clean up on register 5!".
**tl;dr - handjobs.**
If you slice up a large pizza, that's no big deal.
But if you slice up a medium, you can get jail time.
And she should have seen it coming.
Be on the lookout for a small medium at large.
A man and his wife arrive from a business trip and
go to his favorite steakhouse unaware of the mad cow outbreak in his town. The waiter sits them and says, "Our special today is duck or shrimp."
The man replies, "I want a T-bone steak medium well."
The waiter, a bit miffed continues, "What about the mad cow?"
The man looks at the waiter and says, "She can order for herself."
Medium.
is a rare medium well done
This is during the time the Mad Cow disease ravished Britain. A man and a woman are sitting at a table when the waiter approaches them, asking "what would you like for dinner?"
The man replies, I'll have a fat juicy steak, medium rare with all the trimmings. Gravy and roast potatoes please. The waiter asks "what about the mad cow?"
To which the man replies
"Nahh she'll just have fish"
A man meets a gorgeous woman in a bar. They talk, they connect, they end up leaving together.
They get back to her place, and as she shows him around her apartment, he notices that her bedroom is completely packed with teddy bears.
Hundreds of small bears on a shelf all the way along the floor, medium sized ones on a shelf a little higher and huge bears on the top shelf along the wall.
The man is kind of surprised that this woman would have a collection of teddy bears, especially one that's so extensive, but he decides not to mention this to her.
After a night of passion, as they are lying together in the after glow the man rolls over and asks, smiling, "Well, how was it?"
The woman says, "You can have any prize from the BOTTOM shelf."
"Small medium at large"
You can explore medium fortuneteller reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean medium media dad jokes. There are also medium puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
She's a small medium at large.
A small medium at large.
The call went out that there was a small medium at large.
It's rare to see a medium well done.
A small medium at large
Because you should always try and strike a happy medium!
He's a small medium at large.
There's a small medium at large.
"So anyway here's your medium Latte that'll be 3.79"
Why can't I find a happy medium?
A Small Medium at Large
A psychic walks into a clothing store looking for a new shirt.
Employee: "How about this shirt?"
Psychic: "That shirt is too small."
Employee: "You didn't even try it on"
Psychic: "Because I am a medium"
It's a rare medium done well.
The suspects stole 3 medium popcorns, 1 bag of skittles and 4 small diet cokes.
When one of them pulls out some weed and asks:
"Wanna get medium?"
A small medium at large.
Do they get high, or just get medium?
Employee: How about this one?
Psychic: That shirt is too small
Employee: You didn't even try it on
Psychic: I'm a medium
A small medium at large
Some time ago, a medium contacted Hitler's spirit by accident. Out of curiosity, he decided to listen to what Hitler had to say.
"Listen to my words, you little brat: I'm gonna reincarnate someday, and I'm gonna kill six million Jews and two dogs".
"Why the two dogs?" the medium replied.
"See, nobody cares about the Jews!"
Small medium at large.
...do they get high, or do they just get medium?
Because he was a medium
Now there's a small medium at large.
A small medium at large.
A small medium at large!
Police are looking for a small medium at large.
medium rawr
A small medium at large
There's a small medium at large.
The call went out that there was a small medium at large.
Four-chin teller
Maybe I should quit ordering the medium fries.
Not to brag or anything but it's kind of a big dill.
Because it isn't rare and is never quite well done
They're saying he's a small medium at large.
**Breaking News**
Small Medium at Large
Small, medium, and liar.
Small medium at large.
A Small Medium at Large
Is it that hard to find a healthy medium?
'They're looking for a small medium at large.'
Medium Rare.
To get to the other side.
He is a small medium at large.
She shook her head, sighed, and told me, "Steak jokes are a rare medium well done."
A small medium at large.
The cashier asks if she wants it cut into four or eight slices.
"Hmm... four. I don't think I can eat eight."
They get medium, they're to short to get high
So I went to a woman who could speak with the dead. I told her my situation, and described my dad. She went into a trance and, after a few moments, said "I'm communing with your father."
Then she smiled, so I punched her.
"What did you do that for?!" she demanded, shocked.
"It's what my dad would have wanted," I told her. "He always said it's important to strike a happy medium."
She's a small medium at large.
News headlines say "Small medium at large".
An small medium at large!
A small medium at large
He made all the spirits disappear.
He was a medium.
I just don't think I can finish a large.
The small medium is at large.
Small medium at large.
Me: Guess
Waiter: Medium rare?
Me: Well done
Waiter: Uhhh..
She walks in and sees a table with three bowls of porridge and three bottles of liquor. She's hungry so she eats the big bowl of porridge. She's thirsty so she drinks the medium bottle of liquor. She gets tired so she goes to sleep in the little bed. The bears get back home and the big bear exclaims: "Hey someone ate my porridge!" To which the medium bear responds: "Who cares about your porridge - someone drank my liquor!" The little bear turns to the two and says calmly: "Let's all just relax and call it a day."
The waiter, for some reason, took my order first. "I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please."
He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?"
"Nah, she can order for herself."
He's a small medium at large
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the medium psychic jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working medium large piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.