Medieval Times Jokes
14 medieval times jokes and hilarious medieval times puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about medieval times that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Medieval Times Short Jokes
Short medieval times jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The medieval times humour may include short medieval jokes also.
- Lance It isnt a common name anymore, but in medieval times, people were named Lance a lot.
- If I lived in medieval times, I'd be a tavern guard. I've always been known for my Inn-Security.
- Back in medieval times King Arthur had a knight that collected taxes His name was Sir Charge
- What would be one of the worst crimes to commit if you were a sheep living in the medieval times? Muttiny
- A guitarist traveled back in time to the Medieval Ages and became an apprentice to a noble knight He was a squier.
- Dance music... Dance music can be traced back to medieval times when a farmer dropped some heavy beets.
- Why were people in the Medieval times so self absorbed? Because they thought that they were the center of the universe.
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Medieval Times One Liners
Which medieval times one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with medieval times? I can suggest the ones about medieval knight and old time.
- When did medieval soldiers go to sleep? Knight time.
Cheeky Medieval Times Jokes that Will Make You and Your Friends Chuckle
What funny jokes about medieval times you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean dark ages jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make medieval times pranks.
In medieval times, people used to attach a lamp to a horse when riding at night.
This is the earliest known form of saddle light navigation.
*I'll fetch my coat of arms*
A medieval astrologer prophesied to a king that his favorite mistress would soon die.
Sure enough, the woman died a short time later. The king was outraged at the astrologer, certain that his prophecy had brought about the woman's death. He summoned the astrologer and gave him this command: "Prophet, tell me when you will die!"The astrologer realized that the king was planning to kill him, immediately, no matter what answer he gave. So he said, finally, "I do not know when I will die. I only know that whenever I die, you will die three days later."
Two medieval stringed instrumentals meet each other for the first time.
One asks the other, what type of instrument are you? I've never seen one like you before? The other replies I'm a lute, lots of strings, fat and folded at the end that's me. What about yourself, I haven't seen an instrument like you before either. The one replies Oh I'm a harp. The other instrument is skeptical I don't think you have enough strings to be a harp, and you are too symmetrical.
Are you calling me a lyre?
One time in medieval England ...
One time in medieval England, there was a Lord who opposed hunting. One day, he issued a verdict that forbade hunting on his land. The peasants were angry, but the economy soon recovered.
But within a few years, wild animals were overpopulating and began traveling into the fields and eating the crops. Peasants once more began to protest, but the Lord ignored them.
Soon, the peasants could not grow food because the animal population was eating everything they planted. A large group stormed the castle, demanding the Lord end the ban, but he refused, and they killed him.
This marked the only time in history that a reign was called because of the game.
There was this really talented female painter
and one day she painted this magnificent painting inspired by medieval times of a ball. It was filled with lords and ladies dancing with each other, a table filled with food for the feast, fools entertaining, and men in armor standing guard. She was so proud of this picture she called her friend over to show it to her.
The friend saw it and said, "Wow this is really great! But I have just one question, why was this painted mostly in red?"
"Well I used my menstrual blood to paint most of it." The painter replied. Her friend just stared at her in horror. She continued to explain, "Its a period piece you see."