The Best 50 Medieval Jokes
Following is our collection of funniest Medieval jokes. There are some medieval feudal jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these medieval ancient puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Funny Medieval Jokes and Puns
What would be one of the worst crimes to commit if you were a sheep living in the medieval times?
Muttiny
did you hear that hollywood offered Arnold Schwarzenegger his choice of roles in a movie about medieval composers?
he said " I'll be Bach"
Did you know there were vegetarians in Medieval Europe?
More often than not, they were called "peasants"
This day is medieval...
Because it's a dragon.
What did the Medieval Gynecologist say to his patients?
At your cervix, m'lady
Today, someone asked me if there's a possibility that I know anything about Medieval music.
I said, "not a Gregorian chants".
Are you a good knight, or a bad knight?
Ehh, medieval.
What do you call a medieval dentist?
A plaque doctor.
What did the borg say to the medieval peasant?
Resistance if feudal
I googled 'missing medieval servant boy'
404 Paige not found
Tried Googling "Missing Medieval Servant"
but I kept getting Page Not Found
You can explore medieval chivalry reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean medieval skilled dad jokes. There are also medieval puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
What can you find in both medieval English castles and American art museums?
Norman Rock Wells.
What is the rain's favorite medieval reenactment?
Storming a castle.
Being 110kg sucks...
that feel when you won't be hurled at least 300m by the ideal medieval siege engine
TIL: Many medieval surnames like Fletcher or Cooper refer to the patriarch's traditional occupation.
I guess I won't be marrying Mr. Dickinson.
What happens if you google "Lost Medieval Servant Boy"?
It says "This paige cannot be found".
I was sword fighting this guy medieval style then all of a sudden he starts to unscrew his pommel
And then it hit me...
I recently came out to my family, I told them I wasn't on the outside who I was on the inside. I told them I wasn't a boy but a medieval stringed instrument.
They called me a lyre.
Have you noticed if you Google the term "lost medieval servant boy"
It says "page not found"
[Stupid] Why was the medieval man such an a-hole on the plane ride?
Because U-KNIGHTED AIRLINES
I tried searching the internet for a medieval servant boy...
but I kept getting the same error.
Page not found!
My buddy was into medieval things, so I asked if he had ever been poked by a lance,
He said "no but I was once lightly caressed by a Stephen"
People often misuse the word "chivalry."
I looked up the rules of chivalry. Only one part is about respecting women. The rest is medieval battle etiquette.
The other day I didn't open a door for a women behind me. "I guess chivlary is dead," she said. Enraged, I challenged her to armed combat
Turns out I'm the better jouster.
Chivalry is alive but that woman is dead.
I like my wine like I like my medieval cities.
Fortified.
A guitarist traveled back in time to the Medieval Ages and became an apprentice to a noble knight
He was a squier.
Back in medieval times King Arthur had a knight that collected taxes
His name was Sir Charge
Medieval Minstrels were the first victims of EA's corporate greed
They could only access their instruments by opening Lute Boxes
Me: Honey, we are having dinner tonight with a medieval ruler of Germany.
Her: F*ck. Not Burger King again!!
What do you call a stunt rider from the 1200's?
Medieval Knievel
I told my wife to spend the evening polishing my medieval battle uniform, whilst I went out to the pub.
She's always going on about wanting a night in, shining armour.
I asked my wife to polish my medieval battle uniform while I go to the pub.
She always wanted a night in, shining armour.
When did medieval soldiers go to sleep?
Knight time.
Last night, I gave my girlfriend a medieval battle uniform to polish while I went to the bar. I mean, she always said she wanted...
...a night in, shining armor.
Have you noticed that if you google the phrase "lost medieval servant boy"
It comes back with "this page cannot be found"
Have you noticed that if you google the phrase "lost medieval servant boy"
The search returns "Page not found".
Did you know, if you google medieval squire boy....
it'll say this page cannot be found.
Hey did you hear about that medieval soldier that didn't get proper sleep?
Well, it's probably because he kept pullin' an all Knighter
I Googled "Missing Medieval Servant"
It came back: "Page Not Found"
One Time Long Ago, Way Back In Medieval Times...
There was a brave knight named Sir Finley who fought everything the king commissioned him to. One day, a dragon terrorized a nearby village, scaring the kingdom. Sir Finley was sent of to slay this terrible dragon. Once he got there, the dragon's tail knocked him off balance. Sir Finley fell to the dragon, and the dragon cut off his feet first when starting to cook.
Sir Finley was de-feet-ed.
What is the name of a medieval castle for stoners?
Fort Wenty
What do you call a medieval ruler who frequently says farewell, is attracted to both genders, rides a motorcycle, and originates from Scandinavia?
A biking
A strange sight was seen in the Skies of Medieval Canterbury
It was a flying Chaucer!
A medieval worker in England was fixing the fence on the top of the castle
He decided to take a break because he was hungry.
Two knights practicing combat nearby. One of them accidentally made a mistake and got shoved into the unfixed fence.
When the fence broke, he forcefully fell down the long distance. When he got down, in his dying breath, he screamed "THIS ISN'T EVEN REPOSTED!"
A joke I translated from Russian
A pauper is sitting by a road in medieval England. All of a sudden, Robin Hood comes out of the forest, throws a bag of gold at the pauper's feet and says, "I am Robin Hood. I take from the rich and give to the poor."
The pauper tears up, embraces Robin Hood and says, "I am finally rich." Robin Hood then stabs the pauper with his sword,
"I am Robin Hood. I take from the rich and give to the poor."
I wanted to name my son Lance, but my wife said it was to uncommon...
... I told her that in medieval days, people were named Lance a lot.
Why did the cannibal have a medieval peasant and JK Rowling over for dinner?
They wanted to eat serf and terf.
What do you call a Medieval spy?
Sir Veillance
When medieval armies went off to war...
were they playing for keeps?
Lance is an uncommon name nowadays.
But in medieval times people were named Lance a lot.
A medieval astrologer prophesied to a king that his favorite mistress would soon die.
Sure enough, the woman died a short time later. The king was outraged at the astrologer, certain that his prophecy had brought about the woman's death. He summoned the astrologer and gave him this command: "Prophet, tell me when you will die!"The astrologer realized that the king was planning to kill him, immediately, no matter what answer he gave. So he said, finally, "I do not know when I will die. I only know that whenever I die, you will die three days later."
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the medieval warrior jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working medieval blownaparte piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.