Medici Jokes
16 medici jokes and hilarious medici puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about medici that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Medici Short Jokes
Short medici jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The medici humour may include short bye jokes also.
- Great dynasties of history Egypt: Ayyubid
South Africa: Zulu
China: Ming
Greece: Helena
Italy: Medici
U.S.: Duck - Why couldn't the Medici family diversify their wealth? Because in Renaissance times, stocks were bonds.
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What funny jokes about medici you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean bald jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make medici pranks.
There's a medicine you can buy that apparently cures scepticism.
But I'm not buying it.
The Best Medicine
A man went to his doctor and said, "You've got to check my leg. Something's wrong. Just put your ear up to my thigh and you'll hear it!"
The doctor placed his ear against the man's thigh and heard, "Gimme $10! I really need $10!"
"How long has this been going on for?" the doctor asked.
"That's nothing!" the man said. "Put your ear up to my knee!"
The doctor put his ear up to the man's knee and heard, "I really need $20! Please give me $20!"
"Ah," the doctor said. "I know exactly what's wrong. Your leg appears to be broke in two places."
How does the medicine in a suppository get absorbed into the body?
Assmosis.
I wish there was a medicine that could cure procrastination
Eh, who am I kidding, I'd probably put off taking it.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How do you use medicine to assassinate an aunt?
Anti-Venom
Okay, so you want her alive, how do you just stop her fawning over you?
Anti-Dote
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What medicine do men take when their privates start hurting?
p**...-illin'
Medicine
Jim walked up to Joe who was frantically jumping up and down. So he asked Joe, "what are you doing?" Joe said while jumping, "This bottle says to shake well before use!"
I was once a medicine salesman, but I was soon fired.
I lost my job for not selling drugs.
Why was the medicine man for bald eagles arrested?
He was selling ill-eagle drugs.
What's the best medicine to cure a nymphomaniac?
The taste of wedding cake.
Take the medicines if fever reduces it means they involve fever medicine also.
What happens when you take medicine and homeopathic medicine at the same time?
Nothing. Doctors recommend taking pills with water anyway.
What medicine do you give to a depressed cancer patient?
Emotherapy.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Medicine is so advanced
A British doctor says: "In Britain, medicine is so advanced that we cut off a man's liver, put it in another man, and in 6 weeks, he is looking for a job."
The German doctor says: "That's nothing,
in Germany we took part of a brain, put it in another man, and in 4 weeks he is looking for a job."
The Russian doctor says: "Gentlemen, we took half a heart from a man, put it in another's chest, and in 2 weeks he is looking for a job."
The American doctor laughs: "You are all behind us. A few months ago, we took a man with no brain, no heart, and no liver and made him President.
Now, the whole country is looking for a job!"