Medical Condition Jokes
34 medical condition jokes and hilarious medical condition puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about medical condition that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Medical Condition Short Jokes
Short medical condition jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The medical condition humour may include short disease jokes also.
- I tried to apply for a medical exemption for the COVID vaccine. Apparently being a republican isn't an acceptable medical condition.
- I have this unusual medical condition where I can't stop making silly airport puns. The doctor says it's terminal.
- So this new little person turned up at my company today with his medical form explaining his condition. He'd joined with a short notice
- I have a medical condition where I'm allergic to only one type of pasta It's called macaroni and sneeze
- Please Help! I've got a medical condition where I can't discern between the letter "b" and the letters "th". Oops, wrong bread.
- As a child, I had a medical condition that meant I had to eat soil three times a day in order to survive. I was lucky my older brother told me about it, really.
- At my university the only way to have a mini-fridge in my room is to have a medical condition... Apparently being an alcoholic doesn't qualify...
- Some monsters have a medical condition in which it is actually imposible to take a cohesive picture of them Such monsters include: Sasquatch, The Loch Ness Monster, and Mike Wazowski.
- Did you hear about the psychologist who's career was ruined by a medical condition? She had a nut allergy
- There's no easy way to say this, but... you have a rare medical condition know as Irish Wristwatch Syndrome.
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Medical Condition One Liners
Which medical condition one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with medical condition? I can suggest the ones about illness and rare condition.
- What medical condition are elderly bats most afraid of? Incontinence.
- I'm not drunk! It's a medical condition I'm gravity intolerant.
- What is the most ridiculous medical condition? Radiculopathy
- What is the slow bunny's medical condition? It has watership down syndrome.
- What medical condition are Clinton supporters currently experiencing? Tendienitis
Rib-Tickling Medical Condition Jokes that Bring Friends Together
What funny jokes about medical condition you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean heart condition jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make medical condition pranks.
In one Intensive care unit
people always died on the same bed at 11 am on a Sunday morning, regardless of their condition. This puzzled medical staff, so a group of doctors decided to observe the bed in secret and waited for the fateful hour. Some held crosses and prayer books to ward off evil influences, while the less superstitious had video cameras to catch the whole thing on tape. At the 11th hour, the door to the ward slowly opened, then a cleaner came in, disconnected the life support machine and plugged in a vacuum cleaner.
A guy sees a sign that says, "Volunteers needed for medical experiment. $500 fee!"
So he goes in and they tell him they need humans to mate with gorillas. The guy thinks about it for a second, then says, "I'll do it under three conditions:
1) No one can find out that I did this.
2) If there are any offspring, they should be treated humanely.
3) I'm gonna need some time to come up with the $500."
So on a flight, there is a woman who is sneezing.
Now see, this woman is sneezing very vigorously. Eventually, a man leans over and asks 'what's wrong?'
The woman replies, 'I have a very rare condition wherein every time I sneeze I o**....'
The man replies, 'oh why that sounds terrible! What medication are you taking for it?'
The woman smiles and replies, 'pepper'.
When I was a little girl, I had a unique medical condition that required me to eat play-doh three times a day to survive.
I was very lucky that my older brother informed me about it and made sure I did it, or I might not be here today.
There was this haunted ICU in a hospital... People always died at 3pm on a Sunday afternoon, regardless of their medical condition.
This puzzled medical staff, so a group of doctors decided to keep a watch on the bed in secret and waited for the fateful hour.
At 3pm, the door to the ward slowly opened, then a cleaner came in, disconnected the life support machine and plugged in a vacuum cleaner.
The first 5G cell phone mast in town is put up
Suddenly, all sorts of people develop medical conditions. A citizens' initiative against the mast is formed. A public hearing is organized with the mayor and representatives of the telecom company. The people bring forward all the ailments they suffer from since the mast was erected.
The telecom technician replies: "For God's sake, what will be going on when we then put the mast into operation?"
A man is shopping without a mask on....
Man: *looks at store items without wearing a mask*
Shop Keeper: Hey sir, you can't shop hear without a mask on.
Man: Nah I have a Medical condition that makes it hard for me to breathe.
Shop Keeper: Oh, what condition?
Man: Covid-19
A guy walks into a bar, orders a bottle of champagne and yells "Happy New Year!"
"It's not even close to midnight yet, you idiot," the bartender reprimands him. "Oh, I'm sorry. I suspect I might have a rare medical condition that makes me yell that," the guy apologizes. "I think I suffer from p**... congratulations."
Medication
A distraught senior citizen phoned her doctor's office. "Is it true," she wanted to know, "that the medication you prescribed To me has to be taken for the rest of my life?"
"Yes, I'm afraid so," the doctor told her.
There was a moment of silence before the senior lady replied, "I'm wondering, then, just how serious is my condition because this prescription is marked 'NO REFILLS'."
A distraught senior citizen phoned her doctor's office.
"Is it true," she wanted to know, that the medication you prescribed has to be taken for the rest of my life?"
"Yes, I'm afraid so,"' the doctor told her.
There was a moment of silence.
The senior lady replied, "I'm wondering, then, just how serious is my condition
because this prescription is marked 'NO REFILLS'."
Medical emergency
Man was rushed to hospital with 6 plastic horses up his b**....
His condition is described as stable.
A man brought his sick wife to see a doctor.
The doctor examined the woman and he was quite concerned about her medical condition. He took the husband aside and said to him, "I don't like the looks of your wife at all."
"Me too", the husband remarked, "but she cooks well and takes care of the children."
So sad to hear the former lead singer of fleetwood Mac has emphysema.
Wheezy Nicks was always one of my favorite singers.
/disclaimer: I have no idea what her real medical condition is.
I have a medical condition that means I can die if I have burnt bread..
I am black toast intolerant
Why did Michael Jackson see a software engineer instead of a medical doctor?
Because he had a race condition.
What is the difference between ID and ED?
One of them is a flimsy thing that refuses to stand up on it's own. The other is a medical condition.