media Jokes

funny jokes and hilarious media stories

What are the best Media puns and pranks?

Did you ever wanted to prank someone about Media? Well here is a complete list of Media to have fun with:

North Koreans believe they live in the best country in the world because they're brainwashed by the government and the media.

When every American knows that America is the best country in the world.

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Scientist: "My findings are meaningless if taken out of context."

Media: Scientist claims "Findings are meaningless."

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North Koreans believe they live in the best country in the world because they're brainwashed by the government and the media

But every American knows that America is the best country in the world

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So the media say GTA V will cause players to commit crime.

Bullshit, I've got the Coronation Street board game and I'm not a pedophile.

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I found this new social media channel of a cute girl in revealing outfit that teaches elementary mathematics

Her account is "The THOT that Counts"

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What does a fencer do on social media?

Riposte

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Have you heard about the social media stars who are coughing and sick?

They're Instagram Influenzas

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How did the media know JFK was cheating on his wife?

They saw him getting blown in the back seat.

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After a long discussion with his second in command, the commander-in-chief had made his decision.

He said, in a press conference, "we will be sending six thousand troops and a blonde with big tits to Ukraine."

There was a massive response over the following week in the media, asking "why are we sending a blonde with big tits to Ukraine!?"

The commander looked at the Vice President and said, "I told you nobody would care about us sending the troops!"

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What do you call a documentary on Nuns?

Virgin Media.

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The mean, median, and mode walk into a Republican bar

The median says "Wow, this place us really skewed to the right! Me, though, I'm a centrist."

The mode was taller than everyone else and got the most numbers.

Meanwhile, the mean was overly influenced by outliers and got high off to the side.

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Topical Jokes for 2/15

(for best results, read in the voice of your favorite late night host)

In New York City, Justin Bieber posed for a photo with cops after he picked up their check at a diner. The officers quickly posted the photo to social media, right after they cropped out Justin Bieber.

In Pennsylvania, middle school students were accidentally given a word puzzle based on 50 Shades of Grey. Most of the sixth graders didn't even notice the sexy puzzle, because they were too busy watching porn on their phones.

Facebook announced that users can designate a friend to run their page after they die. So expect to see Facebook posts like, OMG, I would totally be craving Starbucks right now if I hadn't been hit by that train.

Bill Clinton has apologized to Mexico for the war on drugs. Clinton said he could've made a better decision about it, but he was really high at the time.

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These quad copters just can't seem to leave the news...

The media and hobbyists just keep droning on and on about them

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It's sad what's happening with India these days...

... they're developing a bad rapeutation in the media :(.

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Accounting for news media

Dr Cash

Cr Controversy

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Brooke Gladstone told this on "On The Media" today. Told it to several people and no one else thought it was nearly as funny as I did except for my brother and my wife.

Okay. So a guy is going down the street and he sees his friend. He hasn't seen him for I don't know how long. And he has this big orange head. And, and he goes up to him and he goes, hey, what's with the big orange head? And he goes, you know, it's a funny story. I was, I was in an antique shop and I found this lamp and I, I rubbed it and a genie came out, it gave me three wishes. And so, I wished for a gorgeous house and, and you see behind me this huge mansion. Yeah, it's really nice. That's the house. And then I wished for a beautiful wife, and, and you see that really lovely blonde coming down the street. That's my wife! And, and then here's where I think I went wrong. I wished for a big orange head.

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Why are all these Juice fad diets so popular?

Because Juice control the media

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Glass Shower Door Media

There are plenty of cleaning products that are available over the counter which can clean the glass, tiles and every other part of the shower. However, there are other ways to do shower glass door cleaning which you can do on your own. Here are some materials that you can find at home which can also work great for your shower.
Glass Shower Door Media

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A friend asked me if it was wrong for him to send messages to himself online in order to appear more popular on social media

I said "No, go on, tweet yourself."

Shamelessly stolen from Jimmy Carr.

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Did you hear about the bagel shops that started attacking each other in the media?

It was a real schmear campaign.

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Why are there school shootings?

Mr.Garrison: "Let's start the day with a world news question. Why are there school shootings?"
The media: "Violent video games?"
Mr.Garrison: "Okay, now lets try to get an answer from someone who's not a complete retard.

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Why do feminists hate the portrayal of women in the media?

Because only men can be seXY.

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What do you call a social media website for men who love to masterbate?

Reddick

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A blond, a brunette and a redhead . . .

were in a breast stroke competition to cross the English Channel. They all dove in together on the shores of the UK. Across the Channel on the shores of France, the judges and media waited patiently.
After a few hours the redhead emerged from the waters to hearty cheers. About a half hour later, the brunette emerged to polite applause. But where was the blond?
They waited and waited. The sun was starting to set when the blond came out of the water, nearly dead from exhaustion. The few newsmen that remained rushed to her and asked if she had anything to say.
"Yes!" she gasped. "I don't want to sound like a sore loser, but I think that brunette and redhead were using their arms!"

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Social media presentation

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What is the best or funny excuse to give when leaving a social media group (large group) for Whatsapp, Telegram etc ?

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Today I was offered sex from a grown women in exchange for advertising on my social media accounts to promote her new cleaning products.

Of course I declined because I have morals and strong self-respect. Which is also as strong as ajox, the super strong bathroom cleaner. Now available in lemon and vanilla scents.

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My cusion just got a new job at Virgin Media

PewDiePie needed an editor.

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Annoying couples on social media

What is an annoying couple's favorite sport?

Bae-sball

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Tim Cook has come out the closet...

and has presented the media with invites to the 2015 Queernote Speech

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Tiger Woods playing golf.

Sorry if this is a repost, but I found this one quite funny.

Tiger Woods is practicing golf one day, surrounded by fans and media. While he's practicing, an amateur
golfer confidently walks up to him and challenges him to a match. Tiger knew he'd win, so he agrees thinking that it would be a fun break from serious practice. "OK," the amateur says, "Since I'm an amateur and you're a pro, you'll have to allow me two gotchas". Tiger didn't know what a gotchas is, but he didn't ask because he thought he'd win regardless of what handicap is placed on him. The fans and media leave the two alone so they can play in peace.

A few hours later, the two come out of the golf course and it turns out that Tiger Woods lost. The fans and media surrounded him wanting to know what happened. Tiger says, "I was starting the first hole, concentrating to tee off, you know, deep in thought. Right when I was about to drive the ball, he ran up from behind, grabbed my nuts and squeezed them tight while loudly screaming 'GOTCHA!!' can you imagine me trying to play eighteen holes waiting for the next gotcha?"

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Fighting on social media is so stupid what you gonna do Busta CAPS LOCK on me!!!

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How many Republicans does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three. One to screw it in, one to call the media and publicize and one to blame the Democrats on the electric bill.

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What is the media of choice for the mallard?

**DUCK TAPE!!!** lololololololol-- *cough cough* --lololololol

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Fred Phelps is dyslexic...

The media is abuzz with the news that Fred Phelps, pastor of the Westboro Baptist Church, is apparently at death's door. Before he shuffles off this mortal coil, it would be nice to get a few things cleared up.

First, it's recently come out that to be a member of the WBC, you have to be dyslexic. This makes a lot of sense - turns out that all along they've been trying to tell us that "God hates gafs". That's all - He just doesn't want us to make any mistakes.

At the same time, they continue to condemn dyslexic devil worshippers, whom they teach us have sold their souls to Santa!

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A joke I can't post on social media but can post here

What's Putin's favourite song?

Crimea River

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How to get away with murder

Step 1: Join the police force.

Step 2: Pick a target.

Step 3: Find a methhead.

Step 4: Pay him $20 to say, on record, that your target has meth.

Step 5: Kick in your target's door.

Step 6: Shoot him in the fucking head.

Step 7: Tell media that no drugs were found, but the investigation is ongoing.

Step 8: Get off scott-free!

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Why don't they have phone books in China?

Because everyone uses the Internet to look up phone numbers or people don't have landlines anymore and cell phone numbers aren't listed in the phone book. Also people use social media to communicate and connect with people.

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The city Zoo had to close their monkey exhibit today due to primates contracting diarrhoea.

Witnesses have told media that shit was bananas.

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CONCLUSION

You've read some of the best media jokes of all time. Most of the stories are suitable for kids with good sense of humor, children or teens boys and girls, of course dads. You must supervise kids not to read pranks for adults. Note that some jokes are disgusting, filled with black humor so don't tell dirty media gags to your kids. These jokes are updated with new ones in December 2019.

How do I make my girlfriend or boyfriend laughs? Well, this list of funny stories will make you cry in laughter. Some of these media jokes are funny and some are hilarious.

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