Media Jokes

What are some Media jokes?

North Koreans believe they live in the best country in the world because they're brainwashed by the government and the media.

When every American knows that America is the best country in the world.

Scientist: "My findings are meaningless if taken out of context."

Media: Scientist claims "Findings are meaningless."

Breaking News: In a press media briefing, United Airlines CEO Oscar Munoz has stated...

"Since we cannot beat our competitors, we have resorted to beating our customers".

With all this media coverage about the clowns...

I'll be so glad when the election is over.

Obvious media bias

Michelle Obama gives a speech when her husband is being nominated, and the media is generally positive. Melania Trump gives the exact same speech, and the media pretends it's some kind of scandal.

Apparently people are getting paid now to mention products in their social media posts

That's as crazy as the discounts at Dave's furniture Emporium.

A median and a mode walk into a bar.

The bartender says, I'm glad you dumped your buddy. He's mean.

What is Thanos favourite social media?

Obviously Snapchat

Sociologists say that social media is creating the laziest generation ever.

I expressed my opinion in great detail by hitting the Like button.

Me: Doctor, you've gotta help me! I'm addicted to Social Media.

Doctor: I don't follow you.

A reporter from North Korea's state-owned media asks a farmer...

A reporter from a North Korea's state-owned media asks a farmer, "Would you give your mansion to the supreme leader if you had one?"

The farmer answers, "Yes, of course I would!"

"If you had one million dollar, would you give it to the supreme leader, too?"

"Yes, absolutely!"

"How about five cows, would you give them to the supreme leader?"

The farmer hesitates, then answers, "No..."

The reporter is confused, "you would give a mansion and one million dollar to the supreme leader, why would you not give only five cows? Is it because you think cows can't match the highness of the supreme leader?"

"Well, yes... and also I really do have five cows..."

Tiger Woods playing golf.

Sorry if this is a repost, but I found this one quite funny.

Tiger Woods is practicing golf one day, surrounded by fans and media. While he's practicing, an amateur
golfer confidently walks up to him and challenges him to a match. Tiger knew he'd win, so he agrees thinking that it would be a fun break from serious practice. "OK," the amateur says, "Since I'm an amateur and you're a pro, you'll have to allow me two gotchas". Tiger didn't know what a gotchas is, but he didn't ask because he thought he'd win regardless of what handicap is placed on him. The fans and media leave the two alone so they can play in peace.

A few hours later, the two come out of the golf course and it turns out that Tiger Woods lost. The fans and media surrounded him wanting to know what happened. Tiger says, "I was starting the first hole, concentrating to tee off, you know, deep in thought. Right when I was about to drive the ball, he ran up from behind, grabbed my nuts and squeezed them tight while loudly screaming 'GOTCHA!!' can you imagine me trying to play eighteen holes waiting for the next gotcha?"

Three social media news article writers walk into a bar

You won't believe what happens next.

A blond, a brunette and a redhead . . .

were in a breast stroke competition to cross the English Channel. They all dove in together on the shores of the UK. Across the Channel on the shores of France, the judges and media waited patiently.
After a few hours the redhead emerged from the waters to hearty cheers. About a half hour later, the brunette emerged to polite applause. But where was the blond?
They waited and waited. The sun was starting to set when the blond came out of the water, nearly dead from exhaustion. The few newsmen that remained rushed to her and asked if she had anything to say.
"Yes!" she gasped. "I don't want to sound like a sore loser, but I think that brunette and redhead were using their arms!"

Hillary Meets with Satan

Hillary was finishing up a day on the campaign trail when the Devil suddenly appeared in her and made her an offer...

"I am here to offer you a deal," the Devil said. "I will give you unlimited wealth, even more power, and a media that will pander to your every whim. In return, all I ask for is your soul, the souls of every member of your family, and the souls of all your constituents."

Hillary pondered for a moment and then asked, "Unlimited wealth and power?"

"Absolutely unlimited," the Devil asserted.

"A pandering media?" she asked.

"They'll fall over themselves to support you, no matter what you say or do," the Devil assured.

"And you want my soul, my family's souls, and the souls of my constituents?" she asked.

"Yes. All of them," the Devil answered.

Hillary was deep in thought for a moment, then finally spoke:

"So...what's the catch?"

Kim Jong Un walked into a bar

The North Korean media still said he got a gold for high jump

Antivaxxers should create social media accounts for their children

They'll go viral in no time.

So apparently a gorilla got shot at the zoo for grabbing a kid that had wandered into its enclosure..

And social media went apeshit.

Did you hear about the big toothpaste scandal?

The media are calling it Colgate...

I tried to start a religious social media page called Faithbook...

...but it was deemed offensive by the American Lisp Association.

A 90 year old man wins the Powerball for 400 million dollars..

He arrives at the press conference, accepts his giant check and teary eyed with joy proceeds to take questions from the media storm. First reporter asks "What is your full name?" He replies his name is Ira Mandelbaum. Second reporter asks "What are you going to do now?" Ira replies "First, I am going to buy all of my children their own homes. Next, I am going to buy myself a nice car. Then I am going to set-up college funds for my grandchildren. After all the I am going to build a huge statue of Hitler in my front yard." The reporters all get quiet until someone finally says "Sir, you just said you wanted to build a tribute to Hitler, why on earth after all he had done to our people would you do this?" Ira pauses, looks him in the eye, rolls up his sleeve and says "Simple, he gave me the numbers."

What do you get when you cross a duck and a pig?

A media circus that focuses on the morals and ethics of genetic engineering.

A place got lit on fire

But the firefighters were too late to reach and put it out. Media arrived as well to which one of the firefighter giving report said, "I've got a good news and a bad news, the bad news is, 41 children died in that fire. But the good news is it was an orphanage, so I have no parents to notify"

Donald Trump calls the media 'fake news' even when they're directly quoting something he said/tweeted...

...but since most of the things he says are fake, by transitive property, the news is fake too

Everyone is concerned about Trump's health after he posted an incomprehensible tweet about his covfefe

But don't worry. Dr. Hufghfufu just assured the media that he's agvofofi.

I'm thinking of starting a social media network for chickens

But not as my full-time job. Just as a way to make hens meet.

Don't forget to use social media to say Happy Fathers Day to your father who doesn't use social media and won't see it

A bunch of girls in the local collage went the Bra-less feminist way

Their spokesperson said to the local media : "Yes we know we don't have much support, but word's out that the Male students appreciate the movement "

How did the media find out that princess Diana had dandruff?

They saw her head and shoulders in the glove compartment

What do you say to someone who studied media at university?

Can I have fries with that please?

A Soviet official visits the US

Part of his visit is about free media. His guides show him around the country. They visit different media outlets, they show him excerpt of media, to show how free the media is.

At the end of the visit, the official is impressed. Before leaving he asks his guides one last question.

'How do you do it?' He asks.

'Do what?'

'Make them all say the same thing'

North Korea's state media is very truthful

They accurately portray United States as a country where half of it is burning and half of it is drowning.

Donald Trump was admiring the Sistine chapel

Trump : this is the bestest painting I've ever seen

Docent : yes indeed Mr. President , it was painted by Michaelangelo ..

Trump : I know the fake news media makes me look like an idiot but I'm not foolish to believe that it was painted by a freaking turtle

So the media say GTA V will cause players to commit crime.

Bullshit, I've got the Coronation Street board game and I'm not a pedophile.

Do you remember how before social media nobody cared what, where and with whom you ate?

Still nobody cares.

I wonder why animals have only two genders.

Probably because they don't use social media.

What's the worst kind of media?

chlamydia

What's Leatherface's favourite social media?

Facebook.

Bernie supporters are dumber than Hillary supporters. Proof?

Hillary supporters spam social media for cash, while Bernie supporters do it for free.

What's a Viking's favourite social media?

Raid-it

I can't call people Grammar Nazis on social media anymore....

Now I call them the Alt-Write.

Just in from the Middle East

Media reports that people in Dubai wouldn't understand the
humor in the "Flintstones" but, I know for a fact that
people in Abu Dhabi do.

What is a mainstream media award for accurate, fair and even-handed journalism called?

A pink slip.

What do you call a goose in a tuxedo telling the news?

Media Proper Gander

The media should be more like batman

They shouldn't bring the news people want,
they should bring the news people need.

Colorado keeps advertising their legalised weed through the media...

I'm fed up of seeing all that propaganja.

The media that got everything wrong ....

will now tell you what will happen now that what they said wouldn't happen happened. Think about that for a minute...

Bernie Sanders may be old, but he loves modern technologies such as. . .

Socialist Media.

A government run initiative to restore the male geese population is getting a lot of media attention...

Critics are referring to it as proper gander.

The amount of salt on social media...

... is more than enough to cover all of the fries produced by McDonalds next year.

What is Thanos' favorite social media?

Snapchat

Trump Administration blocked CNN, BBC, New York Times, LA Times from media briefing

Looks like Little Donald needs a safe space...

Samsung left the stage with one final note

It made social media blow up.

They're really just "Grammer Nazis"

But the media keeps calling them "Alt-Write"

Why did the teenagers cross the road?

Because they saw other teenagers doing it on social media.

I really like seeing #MeToo on social media

It tells guys like me to either shape up or just go ahead and run for President.

What does a fencer do on social media?

Riposte

In the old days, folks used to say "tisk, tisk" to shame others

Now social media connects us to millions, and allows us to multi-tisk.

I'm writing a musical about a rag-tag team of Breitbart columnists standing up to the mainstream media elites.

It's called Fake Newsies.

What do you call it when a cow gives a false media report?

Fake moos.

Trump is like Hurricane Matthew

The media is talking about it nonstop. Nobody knows how bad it's going to be, but you can't help shake your head at the Floridan who ignores the warning.

How to make Media jokes?

We have collected gags and puns about Media to have fun with. Do you want to stand out in a crowd with a good sense of humour joking about Media? If Yes here are a lot more hilarious lines and funny Media pick up lines to share with friends.

Joko Jokes