Medal Jokes

Funniest Medal Short Jokes

Short medal jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The medal humour may include short trophy jokes also.

1. What did Lochte say after his teammates told the police what really happened? "...and I would have gotten away with it if it weren't for you medaling kids!"
2. It was announced yesterday that the 2020 summer Olympics in Tokyo will make all of its medals from recycled cellphones. Well, they're going to make the Olympic torch out of a Samsung Galaxy.
3. Olympic Results for sailing are out: The British have taken the Gold medal.
   The French have taken the Silver medal.
   The Somalians have taken the boats.
4. If you were stranded on an island and could bring three items what would you bring? Michael Phelps, a saddle, and stick with a gold medal on the end.
5. I'd like to congratulate Donald J Trump for winning The silver medal in the 2020 presidential election.
6. Australia is doing phenomenally on the Olympic medal tally considering our population #1. USA: 318.9 million
   #2. China: 1.357 billion
   #3. Japan: 173.3 million
   #4. Australia: 48 as of last census
7. Larry Nassar would have gotten away with it.... if it weren't for those medaling kids!
   Showerthoughts removed my original, so going for gold here.
8. My friend Ty came first in the Beijing marathon, but wasn't awarded the gold medal. The Chinese refuse to acknowledge Ty won.
9. I reckon I could have won something at the youth olympics If it wasn't for all those medalling kids
10. Hear about the first Polish athlete to win an Olympic gold medal? He was so proud, he had it bronzed.

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Medal One Liners

Which medal one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with medal? I can suggest the ones about olympic gold and award.

1. What's better than winning a gold medal in the Paralympics? Walking.
2. I would have won the Junior Olympics too... ..if it weren't for you medalling kids.
3. A Brazilian got the first gold medal The police are already after him.
4. They say they 'give' medals for valour But mine cost an arm and a leg.
5. Why has the pope never won a gold medal? Because he always came in a little behind.
6. I once saw a Shrimp finish third in the Olympics... They gave him the Prawns Medal
7. My cows milk won a gold medal at 15 shows in a row... It was legend dairy.
8. There is a running joke among marathon runners ... ... that has even won some medals.
9. Currently, the Olympic host country has... One brazillian medals.
10. Its hilariously ironic that the first gold medal won was by the U.S... For Shooting
11. I got silver for cheating on my wife. I'm always medalling in affairs.
12. Women call me The Gold Medal I always finish first.
13. What Olympic country is projected to win the most medals? Finland. They always Finnish.
14. How does a paralympian call home, after winning a medal? handsfree
15. Michael Phelps won his 21st olympic gold medal. You could say he's swimming in them!

Gold Medal Jokes

Here is a list of funny gold medal jokes and even better gold medal puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• North Korea athletes... North Korea athletes, who fail to win gold medals in this year's Olympic Games, will have a chance to win gold medals in the next Paralympic Games.
• Caitlyn Jenner decathlon joke Caitlyn Jenner recently confirmed that when she won the decathlon gold medal, she was, in fact, absolutely 100 heterosexual.
  She wanted to set the record straight.
• A man wins back to back golds in the Olympics for the decathlon. Ashton was Eaton up the competition
• Getting a job right out of college... ENTRY LEVEL JOB OPENING:
  Hiring recent college grads.
  REQUIREMENTS: 5 years of experience, 6 Olympic gold medals, and super powers.
• I could win an Olympic gold medal If the women's gymnastic balance beam was a male competition too, I could win the gold medal. I've been mastering a 4 inch wood beam since I was a little kid
• Nesta Carter was asked how he felt after winning a gold medal alongside Usain Bolt. "That was dope!"
• Three men go into a bar... but the fourth guy cleared it. Looks like he's taking home the gold medal!
  I love a good track & field competition.
• If being a disappointment were an Olympic sport.... I could win the gold, have my father present the medal to me, and it still wouldn't be enough for him to be proud of me.
• NBC: And the winner of the Gold medal is... NBC: Find out right after 4 hour delay and several commercial breaks.
• How would America win gold medals in shooting for the Olympics? They take their prison population and school population to Rio.

Olympic Gold Medal Jokes

Here is a list of funny olympic gold medal jokes and even better olympic gold medal puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• I heard your mom won a gold medal! I didn't even know they had sumo wrestling at the Olympics!
• Q: Did you hear about the Oregon fan who won a gold medal at the Olympics? A: He liked it so much that he decided to get it bronzed.
• In what Olympic sport did Israel win a gold medal? Jujitsu
• How does Usain Bolt feel after being stripped of one of his Olympic Gold Medals? Fast and Furious
• Chuck Norris won the gold, silver and bronze medals at the Olympics.
  In the same event. From home.
• What did Puerto Rico say upon winning a gold medal in the olympics? Thanks for the gold, kind stranger!
• A Mexican man contended in the Olympics He won a gold medal in the "Jump and run" event.
• Barrack Obama won the Olympic Gold Medal Usain Bolt was running for President
• What happens when a blonde wins a gold medal at the Olympics? She has it bronzed.

Silver Medal Jokes

Here is a list of funny silver medal jokes and even better silver medal puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• Latvian Jokes Latvian Olympian win silver medal in skeleton. Wishes silver medal was potato. Still is hungry.
• My wife is like an Olympic silver medal skier. She only goes down once every four years, and never finishes first.
• My wife says I'm like an Olympic champion in bed. For some reason, though, she wishes I won silver medal every now and then.
• A gold, silver, and bronze medal were racing on a weight. The gold got a-weigh.
• A Japanese Pole Vaulter Walks into a bar wearing his silver medal. A young woman walks up and says "how close were you to the gold"?
  ..."about 4 inches"
• On Day 2 of the Rio Olympics, USA is leading in silver medals count with 4 silvers. USA is #1 at #2.

Bronze Medal Jokes

Here is a list of funny bronze medal jokes and even better bronze medal puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• What do you call a Rick and Morty fan with a bronze medal? Thirdperson.

Olympic Medal Jokes

Here is a list of funny olympic medal jokes and even better olympic medal puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• A Mexican athlete finally got a medal at the Olympics. The police are still searching for him.
• I am a better swimmer than you'd think. In fact, michael phelps and I have 28 Olympic swimming medals combined.
• Romania won 4 Olympic medals this year in Tokyo. 3 of them are from either sweep or sculling. They must have a high degree of row mania over there.
• Why does Mexico rarely wins medals at the olympic games? All the ones who can run/swim/jump already made it to America.
• So I heard that they are going to stop handing out medals at the Winter Olympics.. Because they're snow winners.
• The Russian Covid Vaccine Sputnik is 91.6% effective It's also the only Covid vaccine that will help you win an Olympic medal.
• So, yeah. The Russians might be meddling in the elections... at least they will not be medaling in the Olympics.
• Q: What do you give a pig who wins a medal at the Olympic games?
  A: A pork medallion.
• Did you hear Michael Phelps lost all his Olympic awards? He hasn't won a race yet. I guess you could say the loss of his metal medals meddled his mettle.
• United States tells the world what they are very good at, by winning their first medal in Rio Olympics. That's right, it's shooting.

Cheerful Fun Medal Jokes to Brighten Your Day with Humor and Joy

What funny jokes about medal you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean diploma jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make medal pranks.