Medal Jokes

Turn your next game night into a laugh fest with these hilarious jokes about gold medals, silver medals, bronze medals, and more. From Olympic golds and trophies to championships and Rio - these jokes are sure to make any crowd burst into laughter.

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jokes about medal

Best Short Medal Jokes

These are our top medal puns. Have fun with a good medal joke in English with simple medal humour.

  1. What did Lochte say after his teammates told the police what really happened? "...and I would have gotten away with it if it weren't for you medaling kids!"
  2. It was announced yesterday that the 2020 summer Olympics in Tokyo will make all of its medals from recycled cellphones. Well, they're going to make the Olympic torch out of a Samsung Galaxy.
  3. Olympic Results for sailing are out: The British have taken the Gold medal.
    The French have taken the Silver medal.
    The Somalians have taken the boats.
  4. If you were stranded on an island and could bring three items what would you bring? Michael Phelps, a saddle, and stick with a gold medal on the end.
  5. I'd like to congratulate Donald J Trump for winning The silver medal in the 2020 presidential election.
  6. Congratulations to Donald J. Trump for winning the silver medal in the 2020 U.S. Presidential race!
  7. Australia is doing phenomenally on the Olympic medal tally considering our population #1. USA: 318.9 million
    #2. China: 1.357 billion
    #3. Japan: 173.3 million
    #4. Australia: 48 as of last census
  8. Larry Nassar would have gotten away with it.... if it weren't for those medaling kids!
    Showerthoughts removed my original, so going for gold here.
  9. My friend Ty came first in the Beijing marathon, but wasn't awarded the gold medal. The Chinese refuse to acknowledge Ty won.
  10. I reckon I could have won something at the youth olympics If it wasn't for all those medalling kids
Medal joke, I reckon I could have won something at the youth olympics

Make fun with this list of one liners, gags and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor found in these medal jokes can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of medal puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, these jokes offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Medal One Liners

Which medal dad jokes are funny enough to crack down and make fun with medal?

  1. What's better than winning a gold medal in the Paralympics? Walking.
  2. I would have won the Junior Olympics too... ..if it weren't for you medalling kids.
  3. A Brazilian got the first gold medal The police are already after him.
  4. They say they 'give' medals for valour But mine cost an arm and a leg.
  5. What's better than getting a gold medal at the paralympics? Having legs.
  6. Why has the pope never won a gold medal? Because he always came in a little behind.
  7. I once saw a Shrimp finish third in the Olympics... They gave him the Prawns Medal
  8. My cows milk won a gold medal at 15 shows in a row... It was legend dairy.
  9. What's better than winning a silver medal at the Paralympics? Being able to walk.
  10. There is a running joke among marathon runners ... ... that has even won some medals.
  11. Currently, the Olympic host country has... One brazillian medals.
  12. Its hilariously ironic that the first gold medal won was by the U.S... For Shooting
  13. I got silver for cheating on my wife. I'm always medalling in affairs.
  14. Women call me The Gold Medal I always finish first.
  15. What Olympic country is projected to win the most medals? Finland. They always Finnish.

Gold Medal Jokes

Here is a list of funny gold medal jokes and even better gold medal puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • My friend Ty came first in the Beijing marathon 5 years ago, but still has not been awarded a gold medal. China refuses to acknowledge Ty won.
  • Hear about the first Polish athlete to win an Olympic gold medal? He was so proud, he had it bronzed.
  • If I were stranded on a deserted island with 3 things of my choice... I would have to choose Michael Phelps, a saddle, and a stick with a gold medal tied to it.
  • North Korea athletes... North Korea athletes, who fail to win gold medals in this year's Olympic Games, will have a chance to win gold medals in the next Paralympic Games.
  • Did you hear about the blonde that won the gold medal in the Olympics? She was so proud she had it bronzed.
  • Caitlyn Jenner decathlon joke Caitlyn Jenner recently confirmed that when she won the decathlon gold medal, she was, in fact, absolutely 100 heterosexual.
    She wanted to set the record straight.
  • Why does Mexico never get gold medals in olympics? Because all their swimmers, runners, and high jumpers are in USA.
  • A man wins back to back golds in the Olympics for the decathlon. Ashton was Eaton up the competition
  • Getting a job right out of college... ENTRY LEVEL JOB OPENING:
    Hiring recent college grads.
    REQUIREMENTS: 5 years of experience, 6 Olympic gold medals, and super powers.
  • I could win an Olympic gold medal If the women's gymnastic balance beam was a male competition too, I could win the gold medal. I've been mastering a 4 inch wood beam since I was a little kid

Olympic Gold Medal Jokes

Here is a list of funny olympic gold medal jokes and even better olympic gold medal puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Michael Phelps won his 21st olympic gold medal. You could say he's swimming in them!
  • If being a disappointment were an Olympic sport.... I could win the gold, have my father present the medal to me, and it still wouldn't be enough for him to be proud of me.
  • How would America win gold medals in shooting for the Olympics? They take their prison population and school population to Rio.
  • I heard your mom won a gold medal! I didn't even know they had sumo wrestling at the Olympics!
  • What is better than winning the gold medal at the Special Olympics? Having arms and legs.
  • Q: Did you hear about the Oregon fan who won a gold medal at the Olympics? A: He liked it so much that he decided to get it bronzed.
  • In what Olympic sport did Israel win a gold medal? Jujitsu
  • How does Usain Bolt feel after being stripped of one of his Olympic Gold Medals? Fast and Furious
  • What's better than winning a gold medal in the quadriplegic (crippled) Olympics? Walking.
  • Did you hear about the man who won the gold medal at the Olympics?
    He had it bronzed.

Silver Medal Jokes

Here is a list of funny silver medal jokes and even better silver medal puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Latvian Jokes Latvian Olympian win silver medal in skeleton. Wishes silver medal was potato. Still is hungry.
  • My wife is like an Olympic silver medal skier. She only goes down once every four years, and never finishes first.
  • My wife says I'm like an Olympic champion in bed. For some reason, though, she wishes I won silver medal every now and then.
  • I love the feeling of getting a silver medal, especially after I've been beaten by a religious woman. It's second to nun.
  • A gold, silver, and bronze medal were racing on a weight. The gold got a-weigh.
  • A Japanese Pole Vaulter Walks into a bar wearing his silver medal. A young woman walks up and says "how close were you to the gold"?
    ..."about 4 inches"
  • Chuck Norris won the gold, silver and bronze medals at the Olympics.
    In the same event. From home.
  • What's better than getting a silver medal at the Paralympics? Not being disabled.
  • On Day 2 of the Rio Olympics, USA is leading in silver medals count with 4 silvers. USA is #1 at #2.
  • Unfortunately my girlfriend gave my s**... life a silver medal... But she didn't seem to mind me coming 2nd

Bronze Medal Jokes

Here is a list of funny bronze medal jokes and even better bronze medal puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What do you call a Rick and Morty fan with a bronze medal? Thirdperson.
  • What happens when a blonde wins a gold medal at the Olympics? She has it bronzed.
  • My **** is like a bronze medal... Everyone gets it, no one wants it
Medal joke, My **** is like a bronze medal...

Cheerful Fun Medal Jokes to Brighten Your Day with Humor and Joy

What funny jokes about medal to tell and make people laugh ? Check out these list of good jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make medal prank.

Michael Phelps is officially the winningest Olympian of all

he deserves a medal or something.

I expected a medal for my bravery when I had a full-leg cast on.

Instead, I got atrophy.

My girlfriend bought me Olympian brand Condoms...

Before she left, I asked if she could buy the Gold Medal variant, she came back with the Silver Medal, saying; "I don't want you coming first this time"

My team got silver medal in the s**... Olympics.

We would have got gold but I came first in the o**....

China won bronze in gymnastics at the Sydney 2000 Olympics but were stripped of the medal after it was revealed that d**... Fangxiao was under the minimum age of 16

And they would have gotten away with it if it weren't for those medalling kids.

Whats better than winning a medal at the paralympics?

A pair of legs.

What's the difference difference between h**... and a little kid?

h**... didn't get a medal for trying to finish a race.

Three men go into a bar...

but the fourth guy cleared it. Looks like he's taking home the gold medal!
I love a good track & field competition.

Oldie.....Mexico will never win an Olympic medal in swimming or track and field.....

... because every Mexican who can run, jump or swim lives in the United States.

NBC: And the winner of the Gold medal is...

NBC: Find out right after 4 hour delay and several commercial breaks.

A Mexican athlete finally got a medal at the Olympics.

The police are still searching for him.

A gymnast walks into a bar.

He gets a two point deduction and ruins his chances of getting a medal.

After s**..., my wife told me I deserve a Gold Medal for my performance,

for breaking Usain Bolt's record and finishing under 10 seconds.

What did Ryan Lochte name his Gold medal?


How does a paralympian call home, after winning a medal?


Whats better then a gold medal in the special Olympics?

Not being r**....

Nesta Carter was asked how he felt after winning a gold medal alongside Usain Bolt.

"That was dope!"

So a group of n**... walk into a bar....

They each take a few shots from the bar. After the last round, they stumbled into the ground.
And that's how I got this medal.
(Heard this from a WWII vet)

A man was awarded a medal for his humility...

Unfortunately, he got it taken away for wearing it.

The armed grenade was under a pile of chick peas, tahini and olive oil.

Captain Smith threw himself on top of it to save his men from the inevitable e**....
His medal for bravery was awarded post-hummusly

If laziness was an Olympic sport, I would have gotten fourth place

so that I wouldn't get up on the pedestal to get that medal.

The guy who finished third in the shrimp eating contest

was awarded the prawns medal.

First things first...

Here's my gold medal.

I didn't expect to get a medal from the city for finding all of the lost kids.

All I did was leave the basement door open.

Bragging Doctors

Doc 1 bragged, "I had a patient once who blew out his ACL & MCL. I reconstructed his knee, and 2 years later he completed the Boston marathon."
Doc 2 replied, "That's nothing! I had a patient who was in a head-on collision with a truck. I reconstructed virtually all of his joints and more, and later he won an Olympic gold medal in the decathlon."
Doc 3 chucked condescendingly. "Child's play. I had a patient who was in a horrible e**.... He was blown to bits. All they found was a huge, gaping a**.... I put a suit and tie on it, and now he's the owner and general manager of the Dallas Cowboys!"

The Russian Covid Vaccine Sputnik is 91.6% effective

It's also the only Covid vaccine that will help you win an Olympic medal.

24-year old Tai Jinhai came in first during the Beijing Marathon, but they gave the gold medal to the son of a prominent party official instead.

To this day, the Chinese government refuses to acknowledge Tai won.

Did you hear about a chickpea who died saving his friend in the war?

He received a posthummus medal.

(True joke) In 1960, after winning his olympic gold medal, Muhammad Ali went to eat at a fancy downtown resteraunt.

When the waiter came over Ali asked for a cheeseburger.
Shocked to see a black man sitting in the resteraunt, the waiter announced "We don't serve n**...".
Ali: "Well I don't eat them either, just give me my d**... cheeseburger".

Medal joke, (True joke) In 1960, after winning his olympic gold medal, Muhammad Ali went to eat at a fancy downt

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like kids and toddlers can enjoy. They can be verbal, as in a play on words, or narrative, often involving a set-up and a punchline. JokoJokes has it all! Jokes in Spanish are also found. Teens are often joking with 4 year olds and 6 year olds. Found out more in our Jokes FAQ section

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The impact of these medal jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.