Mechanical Jokes
94 mechanical jokes and hilarious mechanical puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about mechanical that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Are you an engineer looking for a chuckle? Look no further! We have a collection of funny jokes related to Mechanical Engineering and its related fields. From jokes about Mechanical Fitters and Mechanical Pens to jokes about Bull Riding and Supercomputers, we'll have you rolling with laughter! You don't need to know an equation or understand the fundamentals of propulsion to enjoy these jokes - they're made for everyone with a sense of humor!
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Funniest Mechanical Short Jokes
Short mechanical jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The mechanical humour may include short electrical jokes also.
- Son In iraq I killed 15 people. Son: Dad you were a helicopter mechanic
Dad:Never said I was a good one - My brother just broke the record by downing 22 Russian jets in Ukraine He'll forever be remembered as the worst mechanic in the Russian Air Force
- My grandfather killed 30 german planes during World War 2 He was easily the worst mechanic the Luftwaffe ever had.
- Did you hear about the unfashionable mechanic? He needed to change attire.
(I'm probably too proud of myself for making this one; someone's almost definitely done it before.) - My car mechanic called me and said, You can pick up your car by 5 p.m. I said, I don't think I'll be strong enough by then.
- During World War II, my grandpa single-handedly killed 30 German pilots. He was the crappiest mechanic the Luftwaffe ever recruited.
- Engineers What is the difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers?
Mechanical engineers build weapons.
Civil engineers build targets. - Took my car to the mechanic because it was making a terrible noise. He removed the Mariah Carey Christmas CD, and now it's fine.
- Did you hear about the Large Hadron Collider going down? They are gonna have to bring in a quantum mechanic.
- [at auto mechanic] \[at auto mechanic\]
MECHANIC: Can I help you?
ME: My car won't start
MECHANIC: Umm, that's a bicycle
ME: Because my car won't start, are you even listening?
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Mechanical One Liners
Which mechanical one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with mechanical? I can suggest the ones about robotic and biological.
- What does a mechanic do for a one night stand? He nuts and bolts.
- Mechanic: "When were your tires last rotated?" Me: "On the way here, silly."
- What kind of Mechanics fix and break your car at the same time? Quantum Mechanics.
- Where does an atom go when it breaks down? A quantum mechanic.
lel - Why are mechanics absent fathers? Because they nut and bolt
- Why do babies make bad mechanics? They have poorly developed motor skills.
- How can you tell if a mechanic has gotten laid? He has one clean finger
- Who do you call to fix an atom? A quantum mechanic
- What does a mechanic do during a 1 night stand? He screws, nuts, and bolts
- Hear about the mechanic who refuses to pay prostitutes? He screws, nuts and bolts.
- I told her I'm a mechanical engineer I can't fix her car, but I can screw, nut, and bolt.
- How do you make an mechanical frog? You can't use bolts, you have to use revets
- What do you call a mechanical encyclopedia? A facts machine
- What did the arts graduate say to the mechanic? Would you like fries with that?
- How does Dumbo fly? He just does. The mechanics of it are ear elephant.
Mechanical Engineer Jokes
Here is a list of funny mechanical engineer jokes and even better mechanical engineer puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Why did the Mechanical Engineer stop studying material science? They just couldn't handle the stress.
- A person who was promised 72 virgins is very excited when he goes to heaven He goes to God and asks where he can find them
God sends him to the mechanical engineering branch in India - I'm starting an anger management group for mechanical engineers. I'm calling it Machine Against the Rage
- A mechanical engineers wife comes out of delivery. She texts him She texts him : "your new vehicle has been launched".
He replies : " is it with gear stick or automatic?" - Mechanical engineers They're not rocket scientists but they are sprocket scientists.
- Reed Richards posses a mastery of mechanical, aerospace, electrical engineering, chemistry and biology But we all know why he's called Mr. Fantastick.
- Why did the mechanical engineer get kicked out of the club? It was all civil until he walked in.
- What does a mechanical engineer have in common with a social justice warrior? Tolerance
- A guy took his 1973 Volkswagen Beetle to a blond mechanic and said "My engine is missing." The mechanic raised the hood and said "Oh wow, you're right! But how the heck did you drive it here?"
- Some mechanics can tune a car by ear. You could say they perform feats of engine hearing.
Mechanical Engineering Jokes
Here is a list of funny mechanical engineering jokes and even better mechanical engineering puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- According to Mechanical Engineers, WOMEN are the Best Vehicle in the World.
- Mechanic Hey, have you ever heard of that hard working car mechanic that specializes in engines and the back of cars?
They say he gets very exhausted. - A mechanical engineer asks to his crush... Do have a manhole I could enter?
Mechanical Bull Jokes
Here is a list of funny mechanical bull jokes and even better mechanical bull puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Where do Mechanical Bulls come from? They're raised on a wrench.
- A carny invited me back to her place for a good time last night... She wasn't kidding, there were bumper cars, a ghost train and a mechanical bull. I had a blast!
The Funniest Mechanical Jokes for a Bone-Shaking Laugh
What funny jokes about mechanical you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean electronic jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make mechanical pranks.
Depressed race car mechanic.
Scene: a psychiatrists practice:
'Doc, I'm a mechanic I work for a racecar driver. It's utterly depressing ... I get to fix his car up, maintain it, tune it to perfection. But never -not once- have I been allowed to take it for a spin. It's crushing a depressing to think that such a wonderful thing is out there purring, but I'll never get to enjoy it. ...'
'Well sir, I think I understand just fine, my brother in law has the exact same problem.'
'Is he a mechanic too doc?'
'No, a gynecologist'
Three Engineers
A mechanical engineer, an electrical engineer and a civil engineer are sitting around and talking about God.
The mechanical engineer says, "God is a mechanical engineer. Just look at the human body - a light-weight skeleton with moving parts holding up a massive frame of muscle and fat. God must be a mechanical engineer!"
The electrical engineer disagrees. "No, no. God is an electrical engineer. Just look at the human body - the nerve system routes electrical signals to the brain which is essentially a computer. God must be an electrical engineer!"
The civil engineer disagrees. "No, no. God is a civil engineer. Just look at the human body - only a civil engineer would run a toxic waste pipe through a playground."
My car started making this whining noise...
So I took it to the shop and had the mechanic look over it. Turns out all he had to do was take the Taylor Swift album out.
Sorry if this was a repost, I took a quick browse and didn't see it anywhere.
Why do you make more money?
A heart surgeon takes his Cadillac to his mechanic to get his engine fixed. When he returns a few days after to pick up the car, the mechanic calls him over to show him something. He says, "Okay Doc, I've changed the seals out and fixed everything up but I have one question. The engine is to the car as the heart is to the body. Why is it that you make some much more money than me?"
The doctor examines the engine carefully and says, "try fixing it while the engine is running."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
h**... and Stalin walk together in the afterlife
... they stop next two people and h**... tells Stalin: "Let me tell you of my plan: I am going to kill six million Jews and a mechanic.
one of the two people hear this and asks h**... "Why kill the mechanic?"
h**... turns to Stalin and says: "see? I told you nobody cares about the Jews"
Four engineers in a car...
Four engineers are driving to a conference when the car sputters and dies as they pull off to the shoulder. After a moment of silent contemplation, the electrical engineer says; "you know, I bet the coil's bad. We need to replace the core." The chemical engineer says; "you're nuts, it's obviously the fuel's gone bad. We need to drain the tank and refill." The mechanical engineer scoffs; "you're both wrong. Sounds to me like a valve lifter is froze. We're gonna need to rip the block apart."
After another moment of silence the three look back at the computer engineer who says; "maybe if we get out of the car and get back in?"
A penguin was driving along...
A penguin was driving along when he smelled something burning. He took his car to a mechanic to get it checked out. The mechanic said "It'll be about an hour" so the penguin went walking around town. He stopped at an ice cream parlor and ordered a cone. The penguin tried eating the ice cream, but made a mess because of his flippers. He went back to the mechanic who had just got under his car. The mechanic rolled out from underneath and said "looks like you blew a seal". The penguin replied "no, it's ice cream".
A penguin has some car trouble...
A vacationing penguin is driving his car through Arizona when he notices that the oil pressure light is on. He gets out to look and sees oil dripping out of the motor. He drives to the nearest town and stops at the first gas station.
After dropping the car off, the penguin goes for a walk around town. He sees an ice-cream shop and, being a penguin in Arizona, decides that something cold would really hit the spot. He gets a big dish of ice cream and sits down to eat. Having no hands he makes a real mess trying to eat with his flippers. After finishing his ice cream, he goes back to the gas station and asks the mechanic if he's found the problem. The mechanic looks up and says "It looks like you blew a seal."
"No no," the penguin replies, "it's just ice cream."
Three Engineers are having an argument...
The first says: "God must be a mechanical engineer -- just look at the joints in the human body."
The second says: "God is an electrical engineer -- just look at the nervous system."
The third says: "God has to be a civil engineer -- who else would run a waste disposal pipeline through a perfectly good recreational area?"
A misunderstanding
A girl is driving down the highway listening to the radio when a song comes on that she really, really likes. The DJ says the name of that song was "Hot lips and tender kisses." The girl says to herself I've got to buy that record. She pulls over and looks up the phone number for the nearest record store. She dials the number but makes a mistake while dialing and instead of calling a record store she has called an auto mechanic. The phone rings and the mechanic picks up the phone. The girl says, excitedly, "Do you have hot lips and tender kisses?" The mechanic is a little confused, but responds, "No, but I've got hot pants and seven inches." The girl responds, "Is that a record?" The mechanic says, "No, but it's better than average."
A penguin takes his car to the mechanic....
The mechanic tells him it'll take about an hour to fix. The penguin heads over to the 7-11 across the street to kill some time and have an ice cream. But because he has clumsy little flippers he gets the ice cream all over his beak.
When he goes back to the mechanic, the mechanic tells him, "well, it looks like you blew a seal."
The penguin says, "no, that's just a bit of ice cream."
A Paladin takes his car to a mechanic
A Paladin takes his car to a mechanic. "Whenever I'm driving, I get these strange urges to run over pedestrians."
The mechanic has a look under the car. "Your alignment is off."
A gynecologist decides to make a career change...
He always loved cars, and because he made so much money, salary really didnt matter to him. He decides to become a mechanic. He approaches his local shop and inquires about a job. "You need to get certified first" says the head mechanic, "ill give you the test myself, in the shop."
The doctor studies day and night and finally feels ready for his practical exam.
He comes in and is asked to fix the transmission and engine of a beaten down, old car.
After the test, he is seated in the office and the head mechanic comes in.
"Congratulations doctor, you scored 150 out of 100 points"
"im confused" the doctor says, "how did i get 150 out of 100"
"well..." the mechanic says "you fixed the engine perfectly, so thats 50. You also fixed the transmission perfectly, for another 50"
"Great! But where did the last 50 come from?"
"I gave you a bonus. You did it all through the exhaust pipe"
Relativity theory
In classical (Newtonian) physics, we can't solve the three-body problem. In the theory of relativity, we can't solve the two-body problem. In quantum mechanics, we can't solve the one-body problem, and with quantum electro dynamics, we don't even understand the vacuum anymore.
n Eskimo was out for a drive
An eskimo is out for a drive one day when his car breaks down and is forced to call a mechanic. Finally the mechanic arrives and he sets to work, looking under the bonnet until he locates the problem. He looks up at the Eskimo and says, "You've blown a seal, mate" to which the Eskimo hastily replies, "No I haven't! That's just frost on my moustache."
The Mechanical Engineer, Project Manager and the Software Enginner
A Mechanical Engineer, Project Manager and the Software Engineer were driving down a mountain when suddenly the car slides off the road and rolls down the Mountain. Amazingly none of the occupants had been hurt.
The Mechanical Engineer steps out and says hand me my Swiss army knife I will have this repaired in no time and we can be on our way.
The Project Manager says Wait Up, We need to set achievable goals, set a timeline and ensure we are all working with maximum efficiency to solve this problem.
The Software Engineer Just says "Wow! that is strange, lets push it back up and see if it happens again"
Cardiologist and the Mechanic
A cardiologist's car breaks down and he goes to a mechanic to get it fixed. After everything is done, the mechanic asks the cardiologist,
"Here's what I don't understand. I fix engines, and so do you, albeit human ones, so why do you get paid ten times more than I do?"
The cardiologist then turns the ignition on and says, "try it with the engine running."
A blond walks into a mechanic's shop.
She is concerned because her car has a lot of miles and nobody wants to buy it from her. The mechanic tells her that for a price, he can roll back the odometer. After she agrees, he does just that, telling her she can now sell her car. He blond says, "why would I do that? It has lower mileage now!"
I was playing grand theft auto 5 when all of a sudden it crashes and an error message pops up
It read unfortunately the game is corrupted and the data will be deleted feeling sad and annoying with my 100s of hours lost I looked up online as to why it happened. I found a guide that said if you restart the game on the same console and go to the nearest garage and talk to the guy who's working on the car it can fix it. I did just that and it restored my old saves!
Thank god for that game mechanic
My wife came home yesterday...
and said, "Honey, the car won't start, but I know what the problem is."
I asked her what it was and she told me it had water in the carburettor. I though for a moment, then said, "You know I don't mean this badly, but you're not mechanically inclined. You don't know the carburettor from the radiator."
"No, there's definitely water in the carburettor," she insisted.
"Ok, honey, that's fine, I'll just go take a look. Where is it?"
"In the lake."
An electrical engineer, a mechanical engineer, and an IT admin are in a car that won't start.
Electrical Engineer: "It has to be the battery. Let's check that."
Mechanical Engineer: "No, I think it's the engine. Let's check that instead."
IT Admin: "How about this? Let's all get out of the car and get back in."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A mechanical engineer, an electrical engineer, and a civil engineer were having a drink after work
As they drank, the conversation turned to God. Obviously, he was an engineer! But what sort of engineer?
The mechanical engineer brought up the perfection of the human joints and musculature. Surely that proved God was a mechanical engineer!
The electrical engineer responded that, without the brains and nerves, those muscles and joints would be useless. God must be an electrical engineer!
The civil engineer just looked at the two of them and shook his head. "Who else but a civil engineer would put the sewer outflow right in the middle of the entertainment district?"
A penguin is driving to the mall...
All of a sudden his engine starts running really rough, and smoke is coming from under the hood. Luckily, there's an auto repair shop right next to the mall, so he pulls in there. The mechanic says he'll be glad to take a look, but he won't be able to get to it for a couple hours. The penguin says fine, and walks across the street to the mall.
He kills time walking around the mall, does some window shopping, buys an ice cream cone, etc. Finally the two hours are up and he goes back to the mechanic.
The penguin says, "Have you had time to look at my engine?"
The mechanic says, "Yeah, it looks like you blew a seal."
The penguin says, "No, that's just ice cream."
I brought my car to a mechanic and asked him, Do you have any idea why my car is humming?
He replied, Probably because it doesn't know all the lyrics.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A penguin is driving through the desert when his car breaks down.
AAA (Antarctic Automobile Assn) tows it to the garage in the nearest town, where the mechanic says he has time to look at it, give him half an hour.
The penguin wanders down the street to an ice cream shop and decides to beat the heat with a cone of his favorite flavor, vanilla. Of course, being a penguin, with flippers instead of hands, as well as a beak, he makes a huge mess and gets ice cream all over his face. h**... goes back to the garage, where the mechanic tells him "looks like you blew a seal."
"No," says the penguin. "That's just ice cream."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Heaven is a place where the police are English, the cooks are French, the mechanics are German, the lovers are Italian, and everything is organized by the Swiss...
h**..., on the other hand, is where the police are German, the cooks are English, the mechanics are French, the lovers are Swiss, and everything is organized by the Americans.
Three Engineers are eating lunch together and arguing.
The mechanical engineer is adamant that God must be a mechanical engineer because the human body is so well designed. The software engineer is just as sure that God must be a software engineer as the human mind is the most sophisticated software in the known universe. Suddenly they stop arguing and look at the civil engineer, "you've been awefully quiet?"
"Well it's pretty obvious that God isn't a civil engineer. No civil engineer would combine a recreational area with a sewage treatment plant."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A blonde takes her car to her mechanic and tells him it's running rough.
After working on it for a few minutes, he has it idling smoothly. "What's the story?" she asked. "Just c**... in the carburator," the mechanic replied. "How often do I have to do that?" asked the blonde.
I had no freaking idea!
I visited a local news website this morning and saw a picture of a good friend of mine on the front page with a title above saying, "A 34-year-old mechanic arrested for dealing drugs". I really thought I knew the guy, but I guess I was wrong. I mean, I've been a loyal customer of his for almost 7 years, and I had no idea that he was a mechanic!
Miss Joan asks her 3rd grade students what their parents do for a living
Emily happily raises her hand and say : "Daddy's a mechanic and Mommy is a teacher like you !"
Jason then replies : "Well, my dad is a chef and my mom is her accountant"
And so on, every child answers to their best until it is little Billy's turn, who suddenly bursts into tears.
Miss Joan asks him why he's crying so much and Billy wails : "my papa is dead !"
"Oh, Billy, I'm so sorry... But what did he do before dying ?"
"Well, he was like *arglhblargahrgablar*"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My mechanic tried to scam me because he didn't think I knew about cars
I took my car to get an oil change and they were like would you like us to rotate your tires? I was like Ummm. I rotated them a bunch on the way over j**...!
A Mechanical Engineer, a software engineer and a purchasing agent...
..are on their way to an industry event when their rental car gets a flat tire. The purchasing agent says
"We need to buy a new tire"
the mechanical engineer says
"no, I think I can fix this one"
and the software engineer says,
"let's drive on it for a while, maybe it'll fix itself."
Computer Programmer and Mechanic Driving
A computer programmer and a mechanic were driving down a steep mountain slope. The brakes stop working. The car careens out of control and scrapes the guard rails. They make it safely to the bottom of the mountain and pull over. After recovering, the mechanic says, "The brakes must have gone out." The programmer says, "Lets turn the car off, back on, drive it up the mountain and see if it is repeatable."
A priest, a lawyer and an engineer are to be guillotined.
The priest puts his head on the block, the rope is pulled but nothing happens. He claims he has been saved by divine intervention and is released.
The lawyer puts his head on the block, but again, nothing happens, he claims he can't be executed twice for the same crime and is set free.
The engineer places his head under the guillotine. He looks up at the release mechanism and says:
'Wait a minute, I see your problem...'
Three engineers were arguing.
The mechanical engineer, the electrical engineer, and the civil engineer. They were arguing about what sort of an engineer God must be.
"Well, God must be a mechanical engineer, because look at the human skeleton. Look at all the stress it's able to absorb."
"But look at the nervous system. Look at all the wiring. God must be an electrical engineer."
"Well, God must be a civil engineer, because only a civil engineer would run a liquid waste disposal unit right through a major recreational facility."
Have you heard about the gynecologist who quit his job?
Yeah so he became a mechanic.
Went to school and for the first test, he had to disassemble then reassemble an engine.
He got a %150. He got confused and asked his teacher how he got that grade.
Teacher says, "I gave you %50 for taking it apart, %50 for reassembling it and running it smoothly, and another %50 because you did it all through the exhaust."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A blonde called her car customer service saying she could only drive her car during the day. During the night, it didn't move at all.
A mechanic comes and after an inspection couldnt find anything wrong.
"You sure you put the right fuel?"
"Yup. Petrol"
Eventually, he asks her if shes using the right gears.
She says, "Of course, I'm not s**.... I'm using D during the day and N during the night"
God the Engineer
Three engineers are having lunch and discussing what kind of engineer God is. The mechanical engineer says, "God must be a mechanical engineer, look at the complex structures of the body!" The electrical engineer says, "No, look at the electrical processes of the body, which the brain could not operate without, he must be an electrical engineer." The civil engineer says, "You're both wrong, he had to be a civil engineer. Who else would run a waste line through a recreational area?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
f**... director takes his hearse to the mechanic, "My car gets really bad mileage."
Mechanic says, "I'm sorry sir I don't think I can help, It's because of all the dead weight in the back."
Three surgeons were discussing their patients.
The first surgeon says, 'I like operating on electricians, you open them up and everything is colour coded and tagged and easy to trace'
The second surgeon says 'I enjoy opening librarians. Everything is catalogued and in order, so really easy to find things'
The third surgeon says 'I enjoy working on mechanics. They're always so understanding if you have any bits left over!'
I have a quantum mechanic...
He both repairs and doesn't repair my car at the same time, and I can never be certain of what the charge will be.
I came out to my parents this week, I said I wanted to become a mechanic.
I've already started transmissioning...
There used to be a mechanic shop in San Diego called Car Men
Now we don't know where in the world it is
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I'm an expert on quantum mechanics.
Until you ask me why I've murdered so many cats.
A mechanic was secretly drinking brake fluid at the garage where he worked. On some days he would even drink a whole pint of the stuff. One day his boss found out and confronted him about it.
The mechanic said It won't become a problem, boss, I swear I can stop whenever I want!
