Meats Jokes

Funniest Meats Short Jokes

Short meats jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The meats humour may include short meaty jokes also.

1. A vegan said to me people who sell meat are disgusting. I said people who sell fruit and vegetables​ are grocer.
2. The only joke I know. How does a cow introduce his wife...?
   He says, "meat patty".
   I am very sorry.
3. People that don't eat meat are called vegetarians, but what are people that don't eat vegetables? constipated
4. I bet my butcher $50 that he couldn't reach the meat on the top shelf. He said "No, the steaks are too high".
5. People keep accidentally asking me to purchase meat for them "By mistake?"
   "Oh come on.. Not you as well"
6. Confucious say, "Is good for girl to meet boy in park... but is better for boy to park meat in girl."
7. I told my friend people keep accidentally asking me to buy meat for them. He asked: "By mistake?"
   I said: "Oh come on, not you too!"
8. The doctor said I should stop eating meat immediately for health reasons... I asked if I had to quit cold turkey.
9. My brother and I made a $50 bet on who could throw meat the furthest into the air I guess you could say the steaks have never been higher.
10. ‪If I were to be stranded on an island with anyone I would prefer to be stranded with a vegan... Mostly because it's healthier to eat grass-fed meat. ‬

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Meats One Liners

Which meats one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with meats? I can suggest the ones about raw meat and sandwich meat.

1. My child doesn't eat meat, what to substitute it with? A dog, dogs eat meat
2. My account got hacked. If you get a DM about meat from me, don't click on it. It's spam
3. What is Jimmy McGill's favorite cut of meat? Chuck roast.
4. I knew a guy who fell into an industrial meat grinder He's fine now.
5. what kind of meat does a priest eat on fridays? Nun.
6. Why did the plant-based chicken cross the road? Idk, it's beyond meat.
7. If God wanted us to be vegetarians… Why did he make the animals out of meat?
8. The ladies call me subway. Because I have poor quality meat and lie about being 6 inches.
9. I left some burgers sitting in my fridge since the horse-meat scandal. AND THEY'RE OFF!!
10. Nice canned meat you got there Too bad it isn't allowed here, rule 3.
11. What do you call a tree that grows meat? Dmitry!
12. A world renowned chef undercooked the meat It was a rare misteak
13. I finally stopped eating deli meats... yep, I quit cold turkey!
14. Tried Wookiee meat the other day it was Chewie.
15. Fat people are harder to kidnap But skinny people are worth less at the meat market

Ridiculous Meats Jokes to Spark Fun and Laughter

What funny jokes about meats you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean meals jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make meats pranks.