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Meant Jokes

109 meant jokes and hilarious meant puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about meant that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Meant Short Jokes

Short meant jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The meant humour may include short intended jokes also.

  1. The other day my friend was telling me i didnt know what irony meant Which was ironic since we were at a bus stop
  2. After making love to my wife last night, she told me I had a body built for sin 12 hours later, I still can't figure out if she meant Gluttony or Sloth
  3. When I was a little kid, I thought "This little piggy went to market." meant it went shopping. It does not.
  4. My doctor recommended to eat at BurgerKing more often Well he said I should not have mcdonalds anymore, but I know what he meant.
  5. So my girlfriend just told me that she needed velocity... Well, her exact words were "time and distance" but I knew what she meant.
  6. My girlfriend told me I'm her 32nd lover Turns out what she really meant was I'm her thirty second lover
  7. I really think hillary clinton will be the first f president Oops. I meant female but the emale got deleted
  8. My parents just said they want another child. "I'd love a sibling!" I said.
    "That's not what we meant." they replied.
  9. Person 1 says: I like Eminem Person 2 says: Well, I prefer Skittles.
    Person 1 says: No- I meant the rapper.
    Person 2 says, confused: Why would you eat the wrapper?
  10. Schrodinger's cat was meant to prove how dumb quantum states are, yet it's widely used to advocate and explain it. I bet he's rolling in his grave... and not

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Meant One Liners

Which meant one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with meant? I can suggest the ones about means and aimed.

  1. I had to break up with my tennis player girlfriend Love meant nothing to her
  2. I'm so grateful to the teacher who defined the word "plethora" for me... It meant a lot.
  3. I'm sorry, when I said "butter" I really meant "ghee". I should have clarified.
  4. I used to have a Spanish girlfriend called Nada She meant nothing to me
  5. im giving up alcohol for a month Oops, I meant "I'm giving up; alcohol for a month!"
  6. I got a globe for my birthday. It meant the world to me.
  7. I made a bold donation today Sorry, I meant "blood donation". Type O.
  8. Rubble is a word for worthless garbage Sorry I meant ruble.
  9. I once met a guy named Bien. He was a bit annoying but... I think he meant well
  10. I asked my Dad what entropy meant. He said, It isn't what it used to be.
  11. I said 'butter' when I really meant 'ghee' I should have clarified
  12. What do you call an LGBTQ+ plane. A biplane.
    (This is not meant to be offensive)
  13. What's worse than a box of spiders? A box that was meant to be full of spiders.
  14. If we weren't meant to eat meat why are cows made out of food?
  15. When I was little, my parents bought me a globe for my birthday. It meant the world to me

Originally Meant Jokes

Here is a list of funny originally meant jokes and even better originally meant puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Where do fat people live? (no offense meant) Original joke by me...
    Where do fat people live?
    ...
    ...
    ...
    in Obe-city.
Meant joke, Where do fat people live? (no offense meant)

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about meant can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of meant puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Fun-Filled Meant Jokes to Make You and Your Friends Chuckle & Giggle

What funny jokes about meant you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean supposed jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make meant prank.

Today I called the r**... help line...

But apparently it's just meant for the victims.

Two chemists walk into a bar.

The first chemist says "I'd like a glass of H2O." So the bartender gives him water. The second chemist says "I'd like a glass of H2O too." So the bartender also gives him water, because he knows what he meant and had no conceivable reason to be carrying hydrogen peroxide, much less to be giving it as a drink.

I received a rolex for Christmas from the lesbian couple who live next door.

Now, while I am happy with the gift, I guess they didn`t quite understand what I meant when I told them, "I wanna watch".

I broke up with my girlfriend, who is an Optometrist

She meant well, but she was just too annoying in bed. She was always saying, "So, do you like it better like this.... or like this?"

A man is watching a world cup final in a sold out stadium

He notices an empty seat just in front of his and says to the guy sitting next to it, "Hey man, how come this seat here's empty? Tickets for this game havee been sold out for months!"
"Well, the seat was meant for my wife, but sadly, she passed away"
"Oh. I'm sorry to hear that. But couldn't you get a friend or relative to come along instead?"
"Nah, they're all at the f**...."

How many Freudians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two.
One to screw in the bulb and the other to hold the p**.....*ER..ladder! I MEANT LADDER!*

I know this lesbian couple who gave me a watch...

The couple gave me a very nice Rolex for my birthday. I'm slightly disappointed though. I should of clarified what I meant when I said "I wanna watch".

UN Food Survey Fails...

UN Phone Survey

Last month, a world-wide telephone survey was conducted by the UN.

The only question asked was:

"Would you please give your honest opinion about possible solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?"

The survey was a complete failure because:

In Eastern Europe they didn't know what "honest" meant.

In Western Europe they didn't know what "shortage" meant.

In Africa they didn't know what "food" meant.

In China they didn't know what "opinion" meant.

In the Middle East they didn't know what "solution" meant.

In South America they didn't know what "please" meant.

In the USA they didn't know what "the rest of the world" meant.

And in Australia , New Zealand and Britain everyone hung up as soon as they heard the Indian accent.

Auto-correct is so crazy now a days...

My mom meant to text me 'I love you' but it auto corrected to 'You're a disappointment.'

I asked a group of women if they found r**... jokes funny. They all said "no!"

But deep down I knew they really meant "yes."

My doctor told me to eat more Taco Bell.

Well actually he said "less McDonald's" but I'm pretty sure I know what he meant

The United Nations world-wide survey

The United Nations sent out a survey to all the nations in the different continents of the world.
The survey went like this:
"We want your honest opinion on how to find a solution to the food shortage in the rest of the world"
The survey of course, turned out to be a total and abject failure:
The People in western Europe didn't know what the word 'shortage' meant. The people in eastern Europe had no idea what the expression 'honest' was supposed to mean. In china no one knew what 'opinion' was. In Africa they didn't know what 'food' was. In the middle east no one could figure out what 'solution' was; and in america they had no idea what 'the rest of the world' meant.

So the other day, my friend told me that I have no idea what irony meant...

Which was pretty ironic, considering we were at a bus stop.

Where's your bin?

A man sees that his neigjhbnour doesn't have his wheeled trash bin.
"Hey bub, where's ya bin`"
"I took a little vacation for a few weeks,"
"No. I meant where's your bin?"
"Told ya, vacation, at the beach!"
"No man. Where's ya wheely bin?"
"Ok, fine! I've wheely been to jail! Happy now?"

Two Jewish friends pass a Catholic Church.

Two Jewish friends pass a Catholic Church on which a large poster addresses non-Catholics: "Come to us, accept Catholicism, and you instantly get $30,000 in cash!" While walking away, the two friends become engaged in a debate about whether the offer is meant seriously. A week later the two friends meet again in front of the same church, and one of them confides to the other: "I still wonder if that offer is serious." the other replies condescendingly: "Ah you Jews, all you think about is money!"

My girlfriend said to me...

"If one day, you want to run away, just let me know..."
Turns out she meant together.

A teacher asks her 2nd grade class...

"Who's a Trump fan?"
Not wanting to look s**... for not knowing what that meant, they all raised their hands except for Johnny.
"And why aren't you a Trump fan?" she asked, used to Johnny always trying to be different.
"Because I'm a Sanders fan" he replied.
"And why are you a Sanders fan?"
"Because mommy and daddy are"
"And if mommy and daddy were idiots, what would that make you?" she asked
"A Trump fan"

Me: s**... isn't real, right? It's just u**..., right?

Interviewer: I meant any questions about the job.

The funny thing about teen pregnancy is that before it happens all you hear is "Don't do it! You'll regret it! You'll lose your freedom! Make the responsible choice!" Then after it happens, they say "We're a still disappointed, but we can still make the best of this. It's not the end of the world."

s**... auto-correct: I meant "Trump's presidency" not "teen pregnancy".

Thought all these voices in my head meant I was crazy, but one of them is a therapist.

And he says I'm fine.

Doctor doctor, I think I have a problem with my t**...

Is one of them meant to be bigger than the others.

I got fired form the zoo.

Apparently the sign "Don't feed the animals" was only meant for the visitors.

If your soulmate dies before you meet them, do you get a backup soulmate?

"I meant questions about the midterm," my professor replied.

A brunette goes to the doctor

A brunette goes to the doctor and says, "Everywhere I touch it hurts."
He asks "What do you mean?"
So she showed him what she meant. She touched her knee and said "Ouch!" Then she touched her chest and said, "Ouch!" Then her shoulder, "Ouch!"
The doctor looks at her and asks, "You're really blonde, aren't you?"
She replies "Yes, as a matter of fact I am. How did you guess?"
Doctor says, "Well your finger is broken."

I called the r**... advice hotline the other day...

Turns out, it was meant for victims

Isn't It Ironic?

My wife was trying to explain to me that I didn't know what irony meant, which was ironic because I had just taken a shower.

I got kicked out of the hospital.

Apparently, the sign "s**... patients here" meant something totally different.

An old political joke from Imperial Russia (reign of Nicholas II)

A man yells in the street: "Nicholas is a m**...!". He is taken away by the police on charges of lese majeste (insulting the monarch). He tells the policemen "Please let me go, I meant another Nicholas!". The police chief replies: "Do not lie. If you said m**...', you certainly meant the Czar!"

My lesbian neighbors bought me a Rolex for my birthday

I don't think they knew what I meant when I said "I wanna watch"

My wife bites her lip to look s**...

I just don't have the heart to tell her you're meant to bite the bottom lip.

ME: Siri, what time is it?

ALEXA: Who is Siri?
ME: Haha Alexa, I meant Alexa
ALEXA: Ok but who is Siri?
ME:...
ALEXA: Playing "Before He Cheats" by Carrie Underwood

After watching Star Wars with my son for the first time today, he looked up at me and asked, "Daddy, why was R2D2 so dirty?"

Puzzled, I asked him what he meant.
He replied, "Well, they had to bleep out every word he said!"

My mom texted me that she found the i**... photo of my sister and I.

I was freaking out until I realized she meant nicest.

The teacher tells little Jack, "I'm going to describe an animal and you have to guess what it is."

"It lives on a farm and gives milk"
"A cow?"
"That's correct too, but I meant a goat. What lives on a farm, has feathers and lays eggs?"
"A chicken"
"That's correct too but I meant a duck."
Little Jack, getting annoyed, asks the teacher: "What goes into your mouth hard, and comes out soft and wet?"
The teacher starts blushing.
"That's correct too but I meant chewing gum."

I'm dating the neighbor.

A young female tells her mother.
- "Mom I'm dating the neighbor"
- "But he could be your father"
- "Mom! Age is nothing but a number"
- "That's not what I meant"

-My daughter, are you really dating our neighbor?

-My daughter, are you really dating our neighbor?
-Yes, I am, mum!
-But he could be your father!
-Age does not matter, mum!
-That's not what I meant.

TIL Type O blood was actually meant to be Type Zero blood, due to lack of glycoproteins in the red blood cells. It was misread as type "O".

I guess you can call it a typo.

The doctor gave me a Rorschach test and asked, "what do you see?"

I answered, "I see an old, sad, overworked man, tired of doing the same thing over and over, only visited when others need something from him, and never being appreciated enough".
"I appreciate your honesty", said the doctor, "but I meant, what do you see *on the picture*?

My lesbian neighbors got me a rolex for my birthday.

I guess they didn't realize what I meant when I said I wanna watch .

The UN decided to do a worldwide survey...

The only question asked was: "Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?" The survey was a huge flop. In Africa they didn't know what "food" meant. In Eastern Europe, they didn't know what "honest" meant. In Western Europe, they didn't know what "shortage" meant. In China, they didn't know what "opinion" meant. In the Middle East, they didn't know what "solution" meant. In South America, they didn't know what "please" meant. And in the USA, they didn't know what "the rest of the world" meant.

I looked her square in the eyes and said, "s**... isn't real, right? It's just u**..., right?"

"I meant any questions about the job." the interviewer sighed.

Two men on a train both have black eyes.

Man 1: "how did you get that black eye?"
Man 2: "I was buying my ticket from this beautiful b**... girl and instead of saying 'a ticket to Pittsburgh' I accidentally said I wanted 'a picket to Tittsburgh' so she hit me. How about you?"
Man 1: "Yeah, something similar happened to me. I was sitting around having breakfast with my wife and I meant to say 'pass the wheaties' and I accidentally said 'you ruined my life you s**... b**...'."

And verily, John said to the Lord, The world shall end with Trumpets?

God: No, I meant Trump/Pence.
John: Trumpets, got it.
God: No... ah, forget it.

At the interview for my new job I was asked

"What would your friends say are your weaknesses?"
"I don't have any!" Was my reply.
The interviewer seemed a little surprised and answered: "That can't be true. Everybody has some weak points."
Whereupon I said: "Oh no. You got that wrong. I meant I don't have any friends."

I just came back from the eye doctor, he says I have kindergarden disease.

I asked her what that meant, she said that means I have really small pupils.

A priest has a w**... dog which he loves.

One day when he woke up to feed him, the priest didn't find him. So he asked the local residents to come so he can ask about his dog.
He asked them:
"Does anybody have a w**...?"
So all the men stood up,
"No no that's not what I meant, has anyone seen a w**...?"
So all the women stood up
"Oh my god that's not what I meant.... Has anyone seen someone else's w**..."
Half of the women stood up
"For god's sake has someone seen my w**...?"
All the children stood up.

I once went to the liquor store at the corner riding my bike

I meant to buy a bottle of whisky
On my way back home I felt like I could fall off my bike and end up breaking the bottle of whisky
So I decided to drink it all at once right there
It was the best decision of my life because on my way back home I fell off my bike like 8 times.

A worldwide survey was conducted by the UN.

The only question asked was: "Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?" The survey was a huge failure. In Africa they didn't know what "food" meant. In Eastern Europe they didn't know what "honest" meant. In Western Europe they didn't know what "shortage" meant. In China they didn't know what "opinion" meant. In the Middle East they didn't know what "solution" meant. In South America they didn't know what "please" meant. And in the USA they didn't know what "the rest of the world" meant.

A close friend recently died, and at the f**... I asked if I could say a word

The family agreed and as I stood as the podium, I exhaled, "Bargain".
Teary eyed the family thanked me, they knew it meant a great deal.

A doctor flirted with me today, she said I was really sweet!

I think she meant I was really sweet, she worded it differently and said you're severely diabetic but I know what she meant. She said I'm type 2 and I told her she's my type too

A blonde heard that milk baths would make her more beautiful

A blonde heard that milk baths would make her more beautiful, so she left a note for her milkman to leave 15 gallons of milk. When the milkman read the note, he felt there must be a mistake. He thought she probably meant 1.5 gallons, so he knocked on the door to clarify the point. The blonde came to the door and the milkman said, "I found your Note to leave 15 gallons of milk. Did you mean 1.5 gallons?" The blonde said, "I want 15 gallons of milk. I'm going to fill my bathtub up with milk and take a milk bath". The milkman asked, "Do you want it pasteurized?" The blonde said, "No, just up to my b**...."

A woman says to her lawyer "I want to divorce my husband."

‟On what grounds?
‟Grounds? We have two acres at the edge of town with a big lawn and some fruit trees.
‟No, that's not what I meant. Do you have a grudge?
‟Yes, we've a two car garage but only one car so we use the rest for storage.
^(getting exasperated) ‟Does he beat you up?
‟No, I'm up by 6:30 and sometimes he does not get up until after I've left for work.
‟WHY DO YOU WANT A DIVORCE?
‟We just can't seem to communicate.

A company made toy Titanics, but they weren't meant to be used in bathtubs.

They were made for the sink.

I showed my Mexican friends I know a little Spanish by saying "mucho" and they seemed really flattered

...they said it meant a lot to them.

t**... and LEGO Sets have a thing in common

It's meant for the kid but the dad ends up having the most fun with it.

Me: Do you remember t**...?

Interviewer: I meant do you have any questions about the job...

My boyfriend bought me a diamond ring The stone was cut in the shape of a four leaf clover. I wore it all the time to show how much it meant to me.

One day, I got curious and had it valued at a jeweller's. Unfortunately they told me that my boyfriend had been swindled, as the diamond was actually a cubic zirconia.
It was a sham rock.

My girlfriend just punched me in the b**...

Not what I meant when I said time to hit the sack.

One morning, a priest gives a sermon on the Seven Deadly Sins

After the sermon, a guy goes up to the priest and says, "Father, thank you so much for giving that sermon. It meant so much to me, and I'll tell you why. I lost my hat last week and I couldn't find it anywhere. I finally decided to steal a new one from the store, but now that I heard your sermon, I'm not going to."
The priest smiles and says, "That's good, my son. The part about 'thou shalt not steal' moved you, did it?"
The guy says, "Nope. After that part about adultery, I remember where I left my hat."

Mike Tyson said he was going to convert me to atheism

At least I'm pretty sure that's what he meant by "I'm gonna break your faith!"

Today I realized that I didn't understand what sunk cost fallacy meant all my life.

Oh well, too late to do anything about it now.

Word joke

A man had 4 sons, and named them Bronson, Kenneth, Conrad and Dominic.
One day, they decided to ask their father if his choice of names meant anything.
He replied, "Only the first three letters of each."

An assassin is running towards Trump

His personal bodyguard sees him and shouts Mickey Mouse . This startles the assassin and he runs off in the other direction.
Trump turns to his bodyguard and says Thank you, but why did you yell Mickey Mouse The bodyguard replies Sorry Sir, I meant to say Donald, Duck.

The Cashier said "s**... down, facing me"

By the time I knew he meant the credit card it was too late.

I have a male to female trans friend who just finished her gender reassignment surgery.

I asked how she felt afterwards and she said...
"I feel hole inside!"
(This joke is not meant to be transphobic, it exists purely for the pun. Trans rights!)

My humor is a lot like Covid…

It's tasteless, not meant for large crowds, and if you get it, you're pretty sick.

My 5 year old son found videos meant for adults only...

...but he obviously couldn't understand the advanced calculus lectures from my university, so he stopped watching.

Meant joke, My 5 year old son found videos meant for adults only...

jokes about meant

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these meant jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.