means Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious means puns

A single sperm has 37.5 MB of DNA information in it. That means an average ejaculation represents a data transfer of 1587.5 TB

That's a lot of information to swallow


-wow thanks for the upvotes and gold

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What does gay mean?

asked a son to his father.

"It means 'happy,'" the father answered.

"Oh," replied the son, "so are you gay, then?"

"No, son, I have a wife."

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My girlfriend is fed up of my constant wordplay jokes, so I asked her, "How can I stop my addiction?"

"Whatever means necessary," she replied.

"No it doesn't," I said.

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My friend keeps saying "cheer up man it could be worse, you could be stuck underground in a hole full of water"

I know he means well...

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The other day my friend was telling me i didnt know what irony meant

Which was ironic since we were at a bus stop

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I just discovered that the word 'nothing' is a palindrome...

Backwards it spells 'gnihton', which also means nothing.

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At a funeral

Me: "Do you mind if I say a word?"
Widow: "Please do."
Me: *clears throat* "Plethora."
Widow: "Thank you. That means a lot."

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A boy asks his father Dad, what does 'gay' mean?

Father: It means 'to be happy'.

Son: Are you gay?

Father: No, son. I have a wife.

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My friend is really optimistic and is always telling me : "Cheer up, you could be in a deep hole filled with water..."

I know he means well...

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Tried to explain my sexuality to my dad..

Me: Okay, so I would identify as bisexual.

Dad: And that means you would have a male partner.

Me: Yep

Dad: or a female partner.

Me: Yep

Dad: And that means you're bi.

Me: Yep

Dad: So that means if you don't find a partner you're on standbi?

Me:

Me:

Me:

Me: Did you just...

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A woman is sitting at her husband's funeral listening to the eulogies being read...

A man in the pew behind her leans forward to ask, "Do you mind if I say a word?".
No, not at all, she replies.
The man stands and clears his throat.
Bargain", he says, and sits back down.
"Thank you", the woman responds, "it means a great deal."

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Thanks for explaining the word "many" to me.

It means a lot.

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My friend always tells me "cheer up, at least you aren't stuck in a deep hole full of water"

I know he means well...

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The word 'nothing' is a palindrome. 'Nothing' reversed is 'Gnihton'

which also means nothing

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My stats professor told me that the larger the sample size the more trustworthy the data.

I guess the N's justify the means.

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My girlfriend just text me, 'thespacebuttonisbrokenonmyphonecanyoupleasegivemeanalternative'

Anybody know what 'ternative' means?

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His son asked him what gay meant.

Son: Dad, what does gay mean?

Dad: Happy son. It means happy.

Son: Then are YOU gay DAD?

Dad: No son...... i have a wife...

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Someone told me I'm condescending

That means I talk down to people.

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A boy asked his father, "Dad, what does gay mean?"

"It means happy son." Replied the father.

Then the boy asked, "Then Dad, are you gay?"

"No son, I am married." the father replied.

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If the next president is white....

That means the entire country went black and successfully went back.

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A single sperm has 37.5 MB of DNA information in it. That means an average ejaculation represents a data transfer of 1587.5 TB

That's a lot of information to swallow...

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My girlfriend texted me "helpmyspacebarbrokecanyoucomeoverandgivemeanalternative"

Anybody know what "ternative" means?

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The Nintendo 64 turns 18 this week...

Which means you can now legally blow the cartridges.

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What's the difference between weed and pussy?

If you can smell weed from across the room, it means it's good.

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Wife: "I shaved down there. You know what that means..."

Husband: "Yeah, the drain is clogged again."

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Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!

I asked a Chinese girl for her number. She said, "Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!" I said, "Wow!" Then her friend said, "She means 666-3629."

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I only believe 12.5% of the Bible...

which means that I'm an eightheist

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What does the word 'gay' mean?

asked a son to his father.

"It means 'happy,'" replied the father.

"Oh," contested the son, "so are you gay, then?"

"No, son, I have a *wife.*"

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My girlfriend came out of the shower

and said "I shaved my pussy, you know what that means?"

I said yeah,"the damn drain is clogged again!".

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I saw a study online that said 1 out of 10 people are gay, which freaked me out because I've had sex with 10 people

Statistically, that means one of those other dudes was probably gay

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For a moment, i had a different opinion on 'Chinese girls'

This Valentines day, I asked a Chinese girl for her number.
She said, "Sex! Sex! Sex! Free Sex tonight!"
I said, "Wow!"
Then her friend said, "She means 666-3629."

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Communist alternative of "grab 'em by the pussy" would be...

..."seize the means of reproduction."

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The American flag used to be a symbol for freedom and liberty...

But now it means, "Oh yeah. This person is about to say some real dumb shit on Facebook".

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My girlfriend told me love means nothing to her

That's what I get for dating a tennis player.

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Never date a tennis player.

To them love means nothing.

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What are the most funny Means jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Means? Well, here are the best Means dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Means pick up lines to share with friends.

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