Meaning Of Life Jokes
122 meaning of life jokes and hilarious meaning of life puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about meaning of life that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Meaning Of Life Short Jokes
Short meaning of life jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The meaning of life humour may include short purpose of life jokes also.
- After 37 years I'm finally ready to retire with $5,000,000 I've accumulated through hard work, careful saving, living a life of simple means... ...and the death of an uncle who left me $4,999,996.50
- My therapist just told me I might be a chronic procrastinator and that it will seriously affect my life. I'm not worried though I'll figure out what procrastination means later
- If the actor who plays Wolverine were to reveal that he's been a con-artist his entire life.... Would that mean this has all been a huge act, man?
- Heart-Attacks are overrated I mean your heart works non-stop all of your life, would it kill you if the poor guy took a break for 5 minutes ?
- I bet the ChatGPT servers are too busy trying to calculate the meaning of life to respond quickly.
- If you ever feel like your life has no meaning Just remember that there is a guy in the BMW factory installing turn signals.
- Despite always being made fun of on the internet, I've never seen a fedora-wearing neckbeard in the real life. I guess that means the stereotype is true.
- The bible purposely leaves out the decade of Jesus' life in his 20s because he was clearly a ladies man... I mean, he can turn water into wine, and was well hung. What do you expect!
- I had the worst day of my life yesterday. My friend told me that it could be worse and that I could be stuck in a hole filled with water somewhere.
It's ok, I know he means well. - I don't know why people think eating Tide Pods is dangerous... I mean, you could start today and eat them for the rest of your life.
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Meaning Of Life One Liners
Which meaning of life one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with meaning of life? I can suggest the ones about love life and life questioning.
- What do you call a joke with no meaning? Life
- Statisticians give low paid workers an expected life of 68.7 years That's mean
- What do you call a Dinosaur who contemplates the meaning of life? A Philophosaurus.
- What's the meaning of life? No parole.
- There are several factors when talking about the meaning of life. 2, 3, and 7
- My life is a joke Wait nevermind, jokes have meaning
- Still-life art is not inspirational. I mean, it's not moving at all.
- How are tennis and life similar? Love means nothing.
- I told my friend to stop saying her life was a joke. Because a joke has meanings.
- My life Jk, jokes have a meaning
- Why did Kierkegaard think omelettes gave meaning to life? Because they're eggs essential.
- What is the meaning of life for a debt collector who hunts grape farmers? Raisin debt
- I sometimes ask myself about the meaning of life, But I get no answer
- If you're hotter than me, then that means I'm cooler than you.
- If a wife is silent and not arguing – it means she's sleeping.
Laughter Meaning Of Life Jokes for Everyone for Fun and Frivolity
What funny jokes about meaning of life you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean thought of life jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make meaning of life pranks.
What does it mean when the flag at the Post Office is flying at half mast?
They're hiring.
Chuck Norris is the meaning of life.
Too bad he's also the meaning of death.
If you see me smiling, I'm probably thinking of doing something evil.
If I'm laughing, I've already done it.
Q: What is a difference between "accident " and "tragedy"?
A: Suppose you with the family are beside a pool. You suddenly push your mother in law into the pool - so it's an accident. If she could swim and gets out, in that case, it's a tragedy!
Q: Wanna hear a joke?
A: Women's Rights.
Appreciate how some people don't come out of ATM till they find the meaning of life right there.
Do you know what it means to come home to a man who'll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means you're in the wrong house.
Crime doesn't pay... does that mean that my job is a crime?
If someone is spitting behind you, it means you're in front.
Dear men, if you stopped seeing your wife as a woman, it doesn't mean that all men are blind.
Every time I find the meaning of life, they change it.
Social life? You mean my phone?
I like older men because they've gotten used to life's disappointments. Which means they're ready for me.
If you are a bit paranoid, does that mean you're upset with the numbers from 0 to 3?
For me, being "clean and sober" means I'm showered and headed to the pub.
My s**... life has really taken a turn for the worse...
I mean the only excitement I get these days is when I turn on the lamp and the bulb blows.
Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson....
...were going camping. They pitched their tent under the stars and went to sleep. Sometime in the middle of the night Holmes woke Watson up and said: "Watson, look up at the stars, and tell me what you see." Watson replied: "I see millions and millions of stars." Holmes said: "And what do you deduce from that?" Watson replied: "Well, if there are millions of stars, and if even a few of those have planets, it's quite likely there are some planets like Earth out there. And if there are a few planets like Earth out there, there might also be life." And Holmes said: "Watson, you idiot, it means that somebody stole our tent."
A DEA agent and a rancher
A DEA officer stopped at a ranch in Texas and talked with an old rancher. He told the rancher, "I need to inspect your ranch for illegally grown drugs."
The rancher said, "Okay , but don't go in that field over there.....", as he pointed out the location.
The DEA officer verbally exploded saying, "Mister, I have the authority of the Federal Government with me!"
Reaching into his rear pants pocket, he removed his badge and proudly displayed it to the rancher.
"See this badge?! This badge means I am allowed to go wherever I wish.... On any land!! No questions asked or answers given!! Have I made myself clear? Do you understand?!!"
The rancher nodded politely, apologized, and went about his chores.
A short time later, the old rancher heard loud screams, looked up, and saw the DEA officer running for his life, being chased by the rancher's big Santa Gertrudis bull.
With every step the bull was gaining ground on the officer, and it seemed likely that he'd sure enough get gored before he reached safety. The officer was clearly terrified.
The rancher threw down his tools, ran to the fence and yelled at the top of his lungs.....
"Your badge, show him your BADGE.........!!"
I never remember silly things
A few old couples used to get together to talk about life and to have a good time.
One day one of the men, Harry, started talking about this fantastic restaurant he went to the other night with his wife.
Really? ,
one of the men said, what's it called? After thinking for a few seconds the Harry said, what are those good smelling flowers called again?
Do you mean a rose? the first man questioned.
Yes that's it, he exclaimed.
Looking over at his wife he said, Rose what's that restaurant we went to the other night?
Some men are discussing the meaning of life...
Some men are sitting around discussing the meaning of life.
One turns and asks the others, "If tomorrow all your loved ones found themselves at a f**..., gathered around your casket, what would you want to hear them say?"
One starts off saying, "I hope they would say I was a good father and husband".
The next says "I want them to say I was not only successful, but a kind and generous man too".
"I'd want them to say", says the last man, "Hey look, he's moving!"
Why did the old pirate decide to give up a-plunderin?
He just wanted to move on, start a new chapter in his life. Sometimes things happen like this, and it's a nice reminder that we are all capable of change. Sure it's tough, some people in your life might move on from how they used to be - but this doesn't mean they don't love you anymore. The pirate may stop a-plunderin, but he's still the same person. He's still your friend. He'll always be there for you.
Do you know the meaning "Happy wife, happy life"?
I tend to go with "Happy wife, extended life."
An farmer walks in to a lawyer's office in Alabama...
And he says to the lawyer, "Sir, I'd like to get a divorce."
To which the lawyer says, "Well, do you have a suit?"
"Yes, I sure do", the man replies. "Wear it to church every Sunday."
"That's not what I mean. Do you have a case?"
"No, you see I've always been a John Deere man myself. Never had a Case in my life."
"Sir, do you have any issues with your wife. Did she cheat on you, is she a n**...?"
To which the farmer replies, "No, but the baby is. And that's why I want a divorce."
FAIR EXCHANGE
Two couples go on vacation together. After a week, they are thoroughly bored.
The men decide that maybe life will take on new meaning if they change partners. They all agree that it's an experiment worth trying.
The morning after the switch, one of the husbands says, ''I'm glad we tried this. It was exhilarating. Come on, let's go in the other room and see how the girls got on.''
Jesus wasn't a very good carpenter...
I mean... He couldn't remove three nails to save his life.
I have lived majority of my life residing in Al Capone's shakers.
I mean, I've spent most my life living in a ganster's pair of dice.
On a bench, in the park, two lovers
are kissing passionately. At some point another man sits down next to them and starts staring at the woman.
Eventually, her partner gets fed up by the staring and tells the other man:
- I haven't seen such insolence in my whole life!
- I'm sorry, I did not mean to disturb you, but I need to ask my wife to give me keys to the house.
Many times when I am troubled or confused...
Many times when I am troubled or confused, I find comfort in sitting in my back yard and having a v**... Martini along with a quiet conversation with Jesus.
This happened to me again after a particularly difficult day. I said "Jesus, why do I work so hard?"
And I heard the reply: "Men find many ways to demonstrate the love they have for their family. You work hard to have a peaceful, beautiful place for your friends and family to gather."
I said: "I thought that money was the root of all evil."
And the reply was: "No, the LOVE of money is the root of all evil. Money is a tool; it can be used for good or bad".
I was starting to feel better, but I still had that one burning question, so I asked it. "Jesus," I said, "what is the meaning of life? Why am I here?"
He replied: "That is a question many men ask. The answer is in your heart and is different for everyone. I would love to chat with you some more, Señor, but for now, I have to finish your lawn."
trying to find the meaning of life
next up is "lift" followed by "ligament",ooh i love this dictionary
The Night Life
North Korea has just announced their own time zone
...Meaning the world now has the first official Party time.
I found the meaning of life!
noun
the condition that distinguishes animals and plants from inorganic matter, including the capacity for growth, reproduction, functional activity, and continual change preceding death.
Sherlock and Watson go camping
Sherlock and Dr. Watson go camping. They pitch their tent and go to sleep. Sometime in the middle of the night Holmes wakes Watson and says: "Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see." Watson replies, "I see millions and millions of stars." Holmes asks, "And what do you deduce from that?" "Well, if there are millions of stars," Watson says, "there must be some with planets, and some of those planets must be like Earth. And if there are planets like Earth, there might be planets with life." And Holmes says, "Watson, you idiot, it means someone stole our tent."
So Holmes and Watson go camping...
After a long trek through the woods they pitch their tent and turn in. In the middle of the night, Holmes wakes Watson up and asks him "Look up in the sky. What do you see?"
To that, Watson replied: "I see millions and millions of stars"
Holmes followed up with another question: "What do you deduce from that?" to which Watson answered "If there are millions of stars, and even a few of them are planets, it means that there should be planets out there like Earth out there and if there are, that means that there is indeed other life outside of Earth"
Holmes looked him square in the face and said "Watson you idiot it means someone stole our tent!"
Gaytway
'Gay' is a tricky word. If someone asks 'are you gay?' If you respond no, it mean you are not happy with your life...if your response is yes, it means you are not happy with your wife!
Polar bear walks into a bar and sits down. Says to the bartender:
"I'll have a.......................beer please"
Bartender says "what's with the big pause"
Polar bear says "what do you mean? I've had them all my life"
Samsung Gn7 user here. despite all the a**... they're getting I was surprised that it's actually a really great phone
I mean the battery life alone just blew me away
Last night I woke up in the middle of dreaming about the meaning of life.
It was very eye opening.
2 Guys go Camping...
They both fall asleep in a tent. The first guy wakes up in the middle of the night, and wakes the second guy up.
Guy 1: "Hey, look up, what do you see?"
Guy 2: "I see stars"
Guy 1: "Yeah, and what do you think that means?"
Guy 2: "Well, considering how many stars I see, there is a good chance that somewhere out there in the world, there is some other life form for us to discover."
Guy 1: "No you idiot, it means someone stole our tent!"
Wants to be boss of the world. Has absolutely no experience to be able to do that. Constantly yells things without knowing what they mean. Has had servants all his life. Wants nothing other than control and attention.
My toddler is driving me CRAZY!
A man does and goes to heaven
He meets god and asks him
"What is the meaning of life?"
"Well, if I told you, it'll ruin the joke"
A blonde is working on a puzzle...
She calls her husband over and says, "This is the hardest jigsaw puzzle I've ever seen in my whole life!"
The husband responds, "What do you mean, honey?"
She says, "Well there's a picture of a tiger on the box, but looking at all these pieces, I don't see how in the world this is going to ever make picture of a tiger."
The husband says, "That's alright honey, let's just put all the cereal back in the box."
People say it's never too late to turn around and do something with your life
Cool, that means I have a lot of time left I can waste playing games all day before I do
Two programmers are talking about life...
Programmer 1: Does my life have meaning?
Programmer 2: False
Programmer 1: Stop Boolean me
Wife: I'm going to the store, do you want anything?
Husband: Babe, you know, I've been craving sense of meaning and purpose in life. I can really use some fulfillment and completeness to my soul. I want to connect to god and discover the spiritual side of me.
Wife: Can you be more specific? Black Label or Chivas?
A man reached the top of the mountain and tells the sage atop it I seek one greater than the meaning of life itself.
The sage replies 43.
What is the meaning of life?
A therapist holds up an ink picture...
Therapist: What do you see?
Me: A poor man with no future in life
Therapist:(Letting out a tear) I mean on the picture
I just discovered the meaning of life.
2 math books are on a shelf
*sigh* says one book, "I really don't like my life"
"What do you mean?" says the other book, "I have so many problems"
2 Math books are on a shelf
2 math books are on a shelf.
The first book sighs and says to the other book; "I really don't like my life"
"What do you mean?" says the other book,
"I have so many problems", it replies.
Anything is possible.
People are surprised when I tell them I have a 4.0 GPA, work 2 jobs, while doing research, having 4 internships finished, being president of my student government, having a VS model as a girlfriend and having an amazing social life.
I mean, anything's possible when you lie.
Did you see the movie about how a letter of the alphabet went on an odyssey to find the meaning of life?
It was full of E-motion
I don't get why more people don't become s**... b**...
I mean, you have guaranteed job security for the rest of your life!
What did one marine biologist say to the other?
A life without meaning is a life without porpoise
Poodle: My life is a mess. My owner is mean, my girlfriend is leaving me for a German shepherd, and I'm as nervous as a cat. Collie: Why don't you go see a psychiatrist?
Poodle: I can't. I'm not allowed on the couch.
If you want to have a deep conversation talk about the meaning of life..
If you want to have an even deeper conversation talk about the Mariana Trench
If I beat my meat to Jeffrey Star am I gay?
I mean dudes basically a girl and a real life trap
Reality
You know how it is in life. One door closes – that means another door opens…
Yeah, very nice, but you either fix that or I'm expecting a serious discount on that car !!!!
The meaning of life is the same for all living things, to have lots of s**... to produce offspring.
I'm failing big time.
My friend got Life in prison.
I mean it s**..., man. It's not even that good of a cereal.
My therapist warned me that my chronic procrastination will negatively affect my life, but I'm not too worried.
I'll look up what procrastination means later.
My friend keeps telling me to cheer up these days.
He says life could be a lot worse, that I could be trapped inside an underground hole filled with water.
I know he means well.
What do life and tennis have in common?
Love means nothing.
Why did the loaf of bread ask the potato, "What is the meaning of life?"
Because they are complex carbohydrates.
Why do so many tyrants try to seize power?
Because when they heard: "Watt is the meaning of life", they didn't think it was a question.
My son asked me how his life started...
I sat down with him and I said, son it all started with a big bang ....
He said, No dad, I know about that, I mean MY life
I said, Thats what i meant, it was me, your mother, and 4 other dudes ....
A man dies, goes to heaven, and sees a wall full of clocks.
The man asks God what all the clocks are for, and God explains, "these are lie clocks. Everyone on earth has a lie clock. Every time a person lies, the clock hands move."
Pointing to one, the man says, "Whose clock is that?"
"That's George Washington's", God answers. "The hands have never moved, indicating he never told a lie."
"Incredible," the man responds. "And whose clock is that?"
God responds. "That's Barack Obama's. The hands move, but very rarely, which means he doesn't lie much in his life."
"Where is Donald Trump's clock?" the man asks.
"Trump's clock is in Jesus' office," God says. "He uses it as a fan."
A wife and husband start talking about having kids.
Husband: Do you think your ready to have kids?
Wife: I'm not sure. They can be the greatest thing in a parent's life.
Husband: But they can be a handful.
Wife: So do you want kids?
Husband: No, not really.
Wife: I mean I think we would be awful parents anyway.
Husband: So is it decided we aren't having kids?
Wife: Yes.
Husband: Ok, kids you heard your mom it's time to leave, up!
